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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Is my girlfriend attempting to get pregnant or ensure she is taking the pill at the right time ?

150 replies

JustACoupleOfQuestions · 01/04/2014 23:55

I've been seeing a girl for a few months, we get on great. She is very keen to have a kid, I am not at the moment. She has told me she has gone on the pill, which I believed. However, I attempted to log onto Amazon today and realised she had left herself logged on. I saw three purchases back in Jan :-

Conceive Plus® Fertility Lubricant
Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test Kit with Conception Indicator
Clearblue Digital Ovulation Testing Kit Inc. 20 Test Pack and 2 x Pack of 10mlU Pregnancy Test Strips

Now, the first one worries me, as does the second. The third could be to determine when she should take the pill. But the Test Pack?!?

My guess is she is trying to get pregnant without me knowing. Am I missing something about being on the pill ?

I would appreciate your comments.

Thanks.

OP posts:
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BillyBanter · 02/04/2014 00:29

ah, I thought that was just KY jelly!

Googling just now suggests even water based lube can affect conception. So looks like it claims to be more fertility friendly than even spermicide free lube.

I'm not an expert. I've never used lube. I just googled fertility lube because I'd never hear of it before.

Chloerose75 · 02/04/2014 00:38

Now I'm curious about the fertility lube if she brought it round and introduced it for use! Wonder if she decanted it into some other container?! Surely she didn't just pitch up with her "conceive plus" bold as brass and surely if so you would have noticed! The mind boggles Grin

JustACoupleOfQuestions · 02/04/2014 00:44

BillyBanter, oddly, I haven't. My long term partner (since split on good terms), she would usually have her tablet in the morning. I've never seen this lady tap and unwrap a tablet as yet....

OP posts:
BillyBanter · 02/04/2014 00:54

You know what you need to do, don't you?

This cannot end well for you if you keep seeing her.

BillyBanter · 02/04/2014 00:54

You know what you need to do, don't you?

This cannot end well for you if you keep seeing her.

BillyBanter · 02/04/2014 00:54

You know what you need to do, don't you?

This cannot end well for you if you keep seeing her.

BillyBanter · 02/04/2014 00:55

oops.

Blush

Well, I think I got my point across at least! Grin

Jolleigh · 02/04/2014 01:00

Eep! Yep, looks like she's trying to have a happy accident. You really need to talk to her. And then, even if she does convince you that the items were for a friend, double bag it Wink

JustACoupleOfQuestions · 02/04/2014 01:29

Well. Thank you for all of your comments. I will view again tomorrow and see if any additions have been made. But, well I think I get it now.

Thanks :-)

OP posts:
BillyBanter · 02/04/2014 01:32

In case it makes a difference to how you view my views, I'm a woman not a man, despite the name.

JustACoupleOfQuestions · 02/04/2014 01:52

Jolleigh, if she does convince me then I think it will be triple bag, with fully body suite on too !

OP posts:
JustACoupleOfQuestions · 02/04/2014 02:04

Billy, yes, I was a little confused. I've met girls called Billy... No, honest I have.

OP posts:
Bankholidaybaby · 02/04/2014 02:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

confuddledDOTcom · 02/04/2014 02:21

To be blunt, she's after a sperm donor. You will get, if you haven't already been, shafted by this woman. You can't go back from this.

Oh and don't take anything from names on here Grin

YNK · 02/04/2014 02:42

You want to abdicate responsibility for contraception to another person and then you get pissy because you don't trust them?

I think you have a good cheek and need to grow up op!

Take responsibility for yourself ffs!

Dazedconfused · 02/04/2014 05:30

YNK I disagree totally with you, it sounds like the op thought they had made a decision about contraception (ie taking the pill) in most trusting relationships this isn't 'abdicating responsibility' it (usually) is a grown up mutual decision. I was on the pill for 9 years from early stage of my relationship with my now husband and coming off it to try and conceive was something we both wanted.
The ops partner sounds like she is being dishonest, that is the main issue.

Sharaluck · 02/04/2014 06:12

justacouple out of interest, have you been using condoms?

MyGastIsFlabbered · 02/04/2014 06:35

Seriously YNK? You think making a mutual decision about contraception is 'abdicating responsibility'?

I'd be pissy too if I'd trusted someone to take the pill & discovered they weren't doing so.

OP get some condoms. Only you can decide if you want to continue things with this woman or if it's a deal breaker. It definitely looks like she's trying to get pregnant, but you said these purchases in January, is there any chance you read the date wrong (2013 instead of 2014?)

JustACoupleOfQuestions · 02/04/2014 07:01

MyGastIsFlabbered - Nop, just checked the dates of the purchases, they were 2014.

Sharaluck, No, we have not been using condoms. Because the girlfriend was supposedly on the pill. My previous girlfriend (of 18years) had been on the pill and we had never had any unplanned mishaps...

Chloerose75. In relation to decanting the lube.... I think you might be spot on. As she did turn up with 'her' lube and suggest we use that. Which I thought was really odd at the time. I've just looked at the containers, her lube and my lube. The top of mine has been removed without exposing the neck of the container and as such my container could never, unknowingly be opened and the contents replaced. Hers however, the neck is exposed and you as such could remove and replace the contents. However, the contents look identical. I'd never even thought about that before !

OP posts:
Misfitless · 02/04/2014 07:07

Haven't read whole thread, but it it's not too late, I'd take a screen shot of the shopping list on amazon, or try and get a copy of the order/invoice whatever.

I think it would be hugely unjust for you to end up a father, if you have been tricked into it, when your girlfriend is completely aware of your feelings on the matter.

If I had knowingly tricked a partner into having a baby against his expressed wishes (which only a selfish nutcase would do,) I certainly would not be pursuing him for maintenance payments. If she's that much of a headcase, she might just do that, if you are unfortunate enough to have already unwittingly helped to get pregnant.

I'd deliberately bring up the conversation, tell her again how you feel, and then later send her a follow up text too, saying something like, "You do understand how I feel about not wanting a child, don't you?" which might result in her sending a text back acknowledging your feelings on the matter.

After all of that, I'd confront her. Have the conversation and text asap, before she drops the bombshell that she doesn't know how, but she's pregnant. I bet she'll say she was on antibiotics, and didn't know she needed to use extra protection, or something like that.

FFS, this is a very long winded way of saying, she's possibly already pregnant...she's weird...if she's pregnant you're going to get stung for maintenance for the next 18 years (presuming after a stunt like this you won't want her to be your life partner,) if I were you, I'd want to be able to prove in a court (if it comes to that,) that you were tricked into this...there! (I'll get flamed for this, I bet!)

MrsMonkeyBear · 02/04/2014 07:15

I echo exactly what everyone else is saying. What she has bought is exactly what OH and I bought in order to conceive. I would be having serious words with her. I was on the pill for 13 years and never required ovulation kits to make sure I didn't get pregnant.

Plateofcrumbs · 02/04/2014 08:31

Yes that is definitely a 'trying to conceive' shopping list - I didn't know what half those things were until I was seriously trying for a baby (ie had got past the 'let's just have sex without contraception and see what happens' stage). That's a shopping list of someone with a very definite plan to get pregnant.

ChristineDaae · 02/04/2014 08:40

I hope for your sake she isn't already pregnant, she sounds a but odd going to those lengths. It's not like she's even 'just' missing a few pills. She's actively trying! Do you find she wants more sex at certain times of the month?

MissHobart · 02/04/2014 08:41

My colleague has just announced a pregnancy with his new girlfriend of a few months, he thought she was on the pill (it does fail occasionally), he already has kids and certainly didn't want any more. I have no sympathy!

If YOU don't want children take responsibility for YOUR fertility and PUT A CONDOM ON! Grin

MissHobart · 02/04/2014 08:46

Oh yeah, and I agree that the problem is bigger than just putting a condom on it, if she wants kids and you don't yet and she thinks she can "trick" you into it you need to get rid, what kind of person does that to someone they love and respect? Nevermind the unwanted child at the end of it! Not a basis for a loving relationship. Me and DH have been together for nearly 12 years, always wanted children in the "future" , I've been broody for YEARS and have waited for him to be ready as I would never make such a big decision alone!

I hope everything goes well OP! Keep us posted! Grin