Things nobody ever really mentions before you get pregnant then they all nod in unison and it obviously happens to every pregnant woman ever

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

gonna print to show dp heh heh....

That they'll regularly make you try to pee into a test tube when you haven't even SEEN down there for several months. Has anyone mastered this?? I resorted to swiping a few of those cardboard pots from the ante-natal unit loos and decanting.

Wanting to cry at the drop of a hat. Actually, that is one of those things that you expect, and everyone does warn you about the hormones, but somehow when you are in the middle of it you lose all perspective and deny point-blank that it's down to hormones, Deal or No deal is just a very emotive programme!

has anyone mentioned 'beefed up bits'?? The part of me that seemed to put on weight was my bits !! All big and juicy ...ODD!!!!

Ewww no! When does that happen?

it happened at the end ...I know I am not the only one as we discussed it on here!!!!

I have had all the following, and been told "normal part of pregnancy, nothing to worry about"

• restless leg syndrome (driving me insane, and depriving me of hours of sleep every night (see time of posting) but apparently not even significant enough to be mentioned in my maternity notes)
• nosebleeds
• horrible horrible heartburn
• wind.. all the time from everywhere
• general itchyness
• odd numb area of skin on your legs (due to nerves stretching in the bump area apparently
• yeast infections
• skin tags
• getting fine hair on your bump
• SPD pain..like getting kicked somewhere delicate that you can't rub better in public
• Pelvic Girdle Pain... like being stabbed in one buttock
• Sense of smell so acute that passing DPs socks in the wash basket make you feel like heaving
• crying inconsolably/being really angry for absolutely no reason.
• feeling so hot all the time that you could visit the arctic without a cardi.
• swollen "bits"
• the way that you smell changing
• being unable to remember anything for more than a nanosecond.
• raised libido right when DP decides that it's "not nice in front of the baby".
• fingers like sausages, feet like water balloons and a face like you're having an allergic reaction.
• wanting to punch the very next person who tells you a) scary labour stories b) that your life as you know it is over c) you look so huge you must be having twins d) that you don't look pregnant at all just fat e) that you don't need to waddle like that you're just playing it for sympathy.

.... and many more fun things. I'm making it sound awful, but it's really not, it just that there are so many things you just don't expect. I waited patiently for morning sickness, but I apart from feeling squeezy for a few days early on, I never really got it. But then I didn't count on getting restless leg, which is quietly erroding my sanity.

Oops, didn't realise that was quite so long... I tend to ramble at this time in the morning.

Vivid orgasmic dreams (nice surprise)
Anterior placenta (so you don't feel baby until much later than everyone says you will)
That some employers really are still in the dark ages
Just how tired you will feel, that even a fifteen minute walk will knacker you out
Breathlessness
Pain in your chest as your fundus presses up into your ribs

(30 weeks tomorrow - I'm sure there will be more things I've not been told as I near the end!)

Suis oh yes it is really hot right now!

stretching pains down there
anterior placenta so you might hardly feel baby kick
babies sometimes kick loads one day and hardly at all the next
optimal positioning and how to turn a posterior baby (i didn't even know what posterior was!)
anti - d injections if your blood type is negative
that sometimes they get the sex wrong
sometimes you won't be able to tell what sex baby is
rashes here there and every where

thought of LOADS more.
your fanjo will become dry and cracked.
if your bump drops and you feel like the baby is right between your legs it doesn't mean you are about to go in to premature labour
sometimes your waters don't break and you don't have a show
if you do have a show it could still mean labour is weeks away
GBS
just because your mum had a big/small baby doesn't mean you will, just because you or dp are tall/short etc doesn't mean baby will be big/small.
don't bother asking your mum what her pregnancy/labour was like - yours will probably be nothing like it.
pregnancy and labour for one child can often be very different to your next child.
baby can turn right up until the last minute
just because you have a big baby/baby isn't engaged doesn't mean you will end up with cs.
bump measurement and growth scans aren't always accurate.
vomit and diarrhoea don't always mean labour is imminent.
you can get morning sickness in the early stage, all the way through or just later on.
boys and second babies aren't necssarily heavier.

Ooh some good ones there, thought of some more:

The good:
When you're having a nightmare day at work, feeling your baby kick you can make it all better.
Your priorities can change drastically and you may suddenly realise that your job is a load of horlicks. Your boss, though horrible, seems less frightening.
Mentioned before, but I'll say it again: those dreams.
You'll be surprised at the feeling of achievement you get from doing a big poo!

The bad:
"Are you sure it's not twins?" isn't that funny the first time; it soon becomes really annoying.
Your colleagues will assume "morning" sickness means just that and will think you're skivving when you go home vomiting in the middle of the day.
You will want to lamp the next person who asks you if you've tried ginger / if you're using the right type of ginger for your ms.
You might never "bloom".
The tiredness doesn't just last for the first twelve weeks even though your dh/dp/colleagues think it will.
Chemists will refuse point blank to sell you certain medicines even if the NHS Direct advert says its safe in pgcy (unless you have a prescription).
You mightn't get any cravings, or get really boring ones (sparkling water, anyone? how dull!)

The ugly:
Prune juice tastes rank!
Cleaning your teeth can make you vom.
You can get stretch marks on your hips as well.

There are many more!

Heres one which I've not seen in any books at all.
Varicose Veins down there. (not piles) nasty shock I can tell you!
41+1 & going mad with all these nasty things which are happening to my body which up until 2 weeks ago I didnt have!

Not been able to move without sighing or groaning i.e. when getting out of bed or out of a chair.

Having no pelvic floor straight after you give birth.

Wetting yourself, both during pregnancy and after you give birth!

Having to sit up suddenly to sneeze in bed because of painful pulling sensation in tummy. Sometimes the sneezing catches me unawares - ouch!
Retching sensation whenever I bend down, can only be avoided by getting down on all fours. Then having to lean on something to get up off the floor, can't do it unaided and I'm only 22 weeks!

super human sense of smell, severe dislike of partner (partly owing to super human sense of smell), all day nausea without the relief of throwing up, pointy belly, complete physical and mental exhaustion in the first twelve weeks, being evil (I'm sure people think pregnant women are supposed to be nice and sweet and lovely but we're not we're grumpy and nasty and vicious - well I was anyway).

Headaches - with migrainy flashing lights. Only being able to take crappy paracetamol for it.
Blocked nose.
Tastebuds doing wierd stuff. It's not really cravings and it's really ms. Just that you become really particular about what you want to eat.
You can smell someone smoking at 100 paces.
Tiredness all the way through.
Stabing pains in your side from the beginning making you think you're miscarrying, but really it's just all part of the fun.
Shortness of breath from early on. Nothing to do with my size - or is this just me?
Being paranoid if you don't start showing / baby doesn't start moving when everyone else of same duration is / baby has.
SPD - not sure if I have this. Am 20weeks and have the groin pains as described below. Thought they were just part of the stretchy pains. Could they get worse??

And I'm sure there's more to come...

Juicy Lucy - I've had severe groin pains for weeks and weeks. Sooooo uncomfortable. The only relief I've found is the gel packs from mothercare which you put in the freezer first. Bliss. (peas are too cold!) Sometimes it just feels like I've been kicked to pieces down there.

restless legs from 8 pm at night until about 10am the following morning-bloody horrible

that when you push a Baby out it feels as if it comes out of your backside.

Have PML at this thread so here's my list. Pointy belly, raunchy dreams definately (Ding Dong!!, sickness all day every day, piles, constipation, depression, piles, bleeding gums, fabulous long strong nails, piles, brain made of mush and easily riled to near hysteria, restless legs. Also, I had the taste of metal in my mouth the whole way through - like I was sucking a spoon, no-one else has included this in their list so am I alone on this one?

Ah yes... the wonderful dreams about Sawyer from Lost.... oh how I yearned for him....

Icebat I have the metal taste, but not all the time (or maybe thats why nothing really tastes good?).
I also have the toothbrush versus vomit impulse thing going on.

Half of you loy must have been living in caves or something before you got pregnant, as most of the "little-known" pregnancy complaints mentioned here are pretty common knowledge, I'd have thought - eg, nausea, piles, constipation, being emotional, cravings, metal taste, stretch-marks etc.