Things nobody ever really mentions before you get pregnant then they all nod in unison and it obviously happens to every pregnant woman ever

[Pruni]

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I didn't get any of those dreams

However I did get a lot of leg cramps in the middle of the night whihc did require me to leap out of bed and stomp my foot on the floor, thereby waking the entire household.

Piles.

Dh always tells me to wake him if I get one of my, err, vivid dreams and he'll help me out as it were. Somehow never seems appropriate at 3 in the morning

Cramps when you first get pregnant
Cramps around 13 weeks as everything starts to stretch
Pains around 18 weeks as baby passes your belly button
Insomnia
Heartburn (actually, people did mention the heartburn. But I never ever ever have indigestion normally so I thought "really, how bad can it be?". Boy, did I find out...
You can get piles in various of your ladybits, not just the regular location. (Fortunately for me I didn't get the ladybits-piles, but I lived in terror of them from the point at which I discovered they weren't unusual)
If baby has a fit of hiccups and then goes quiet for a bit you will be convinced he/she has had some kind of fit and is dead

I am owed some serious back wages with vivid dreams in my next pregnancy, by the sound of things, as I didn't get any in the first one. Bah humbug.

Forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sen...............

How could I have forgotten farting and belching in general? DH seemed to feel his role as purveyor of gross bodily functions to the household was under threat...

morning sickness that happens in the afternoon ... and the evening ... and at night...

Oh yeah shimmy 21 the constant sickness followed by the feeling of starvation followed again by sickness then when you think thats all susided theres the heartburn. OUCH!!

heartburn - awful, awful heartburn.
Gaviscon is available on free prescription whilst pregnant in very big bottles.
SPD - how I wish I had known about this one.
Treatment for SPD - going shopping at 8 months pregnant and on crutches means you get lots of funny looks!
Always needing a wee!
Being sooo big in the last month that it was difficult to get around.

baby trying to kick your bottom ribs loose

abdominal muscles stretching and tearing

generally the incredible amount of pain you're in that every doctor and mw you mention it to says 'oh yes, thats perfectly normal, it's just your X/Y/Z tearing/stretching/breaking. it'll probably go away after the baby comes'

1. Fave colour (i know i know, but i like to know these things!) probably green

2. Fave word mummy

3. What was your "best" age hope it's still to come

4. Fave drink tea or a decent red

5. Fave place in the whole world the moors around Hathersage in the Peak District

6. 3 words to describe yourself Cynical, argumentative, optimistic.

Oops, wrong thread!

Hmmmm - pg insomnia. Half past blo*dy 4 in the morning and I've been tossing and turning for hours.

Having to take urine samples ever time you go to the doctors,or having to produce one when you just been to the loo.(in fact your quite shocked when they don't want one)

Having to drink all that bl**dy water before a scan only to find there's a delay before your appointment and then you feel like you're going to explode.

I'll never forget one nurse asking me (when they were nearly 30 mins over time), 'Do you think you could just pop to the loo and let just a little bit out!!!!'

Errrr - NO!!!!

I know its been mentioned but leg cramps!
They are a real PITA!

Later on, the baby can suddenly decide it doesn't like being in the postion its in and your bump can resemble a form of art!

Increased discharge with a pregnant smell.

Stretch marks everywhere!!! On your bump, hips bum and even boobs!!

I look like a road map!!!!!

Towards the end you Parp like a trombone - you can play tunes with your bottom and your DH will laugh at you whilst you parp away before bed every night - and no one will ever tell you this before you get pregnant so you think you have some strange disease!!!

trouble breathing with heavy bump,
sore leftside from sleeping on it for 6 months
snoring
sore feet
wearing t-shirt in middle of winter
not being able to get behind steering wheel
dreaming terrible things happening to baby,i.e. dh bbq-ing baby for lunch.
no alcohol
sleeping all the time and still some more
peeing every 15 minutes
lots of energy in second trimester
round ligament pains

nasal congestion - constantly wanting to pick your nose, blow it or somehow feel like it isn't permanently bunged up.
weird boobs - could be many things, scary growth, leaky nipples, massive blue veins appearing, constant tingling sensation, red hot.......
Strange taste & smell issues - nothing is quite as it should be. From being completely barfy & vom inducing to just odd.
Right at the end: feeling humungous, feeling as though you've been pregnant for years, constantly weeing, puffing like a geriatric dragon, uncomfortable wherever you sit or lie, unable to sleep at night, unable to see ladybits, needing a crane to get out of the bath, constantly wondering when you'll go into labour!!!!

Big blue veins all over the place when you're warm (so most of time) so you look like someone has drawn on you with crayon.
Being unable to put your own socks on or cut your toenails.
Not being able to eat a normal meal at a normal pace because your stomach is all squished.
The weird pointy shape your stomach muscles make when you try and sit up.

sittingbull - so with you on the body image thing. being pear shaped normally has the advantage of a good, flat stomach but pregnancy horribly denies you of all that was once good and leaves you with fat stomach and fat thighs. great

Having to pee in a tiny litle specimen bottle each mw visit without getting it all over your hands,knickers,floor,shoes etc. Gets even harder when your bump gets bigger and you cant exactly 'see' what your doing!!