Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/ Warriors Part 5

[MrsHY1]

Hello ladies! Come and find me!

.. .tiptoes away

First of all...
Noks hang on in there, labour is absolutely knackering but keep at it! Send dh out for some red bull (seriously, i gag at the thought of the stuff after our student days but it is a cracking kick up the arse for a bambino). Really really hope that Nancy#2 is behaving and with you soon.
Sweetie sorry to hear you are ill, it must be tough with two newborns, hope you are getting the support you need.
Everyone else, thanks so much for the support, it means the world. A day in picu is like a year in normal time so will try to recap where we are...
nancy still hasn't really made any progress in terms of her lungs starting to become less stiff or able to function, which means that teh docs are now getting twitchy because there is only a certain amount of time they will let her be on the ecmo (heart and lung bypass) before they decide she is not going to recover and turn it off. It is all about this week really so we are just praying desparately that she will make some sort of progress soon and recover, otherwise it will be very likely that her lungs are too permanent,y damaged to get over this. On top of this they have found she has very few of a type of immunoglobin which fights off infection, meaning that she will struggle more to recover even if it is not lung damage...they are hopeful that this is as a result of the rsv and pneumonia but it could be genetic and something which will make her suscepitble to almost every infection and unable to fight it off. Fingers crossed again. Yesterday's drama was that she started having seizures, as a result of the lack of oxygen from the apnoeas and desaturations over the last few weeks. As a prem baby she also has enlarged brain ventricles (who knew theyexisted until now?) which is an added risk factor. They have managed to control them with drugs for now but if they continue then they will indicate a level of brain damage, but for now she is behaving so we are putting it all in a box marked 'to be worried about if we get through this'. It all sounds pretty bad when i type it out actually, but we are doing ok. My mum arrived from Sydney on frdiay which is ace, dd1 loves her to bits and she has rallied us by babysitting, organising things and buying lots of 'nice bits' from the food section of marks and spencers! We are just doing this day by day, trying to deal with that is right n front of us rather than in the uncertain future and it seems to be working so far really. I bloody love dh, it is so good to have him here with me at the moment.
I do hope all of my yo i neices and nephews are doing well and fattening up nicely. pearl has been renamed Big Fat Pearl as she is now almost 7lb at 7 weeks old! Luffs and maize to y'all...

i missed a few bits....shazza as a naughty bottle feeder for all of mine I would advise to check your teats carefully...make sure they are fast flowing enough for shazzlet.
Onion the nurses here recommended ketamine to me...I was telling them of my fondness for morphine (in the good old days when I was quite poorly and needed it) and apparently it feels like a lovely warm blanket. Have just realised that anyone reading this without reading back will think that we are all drug-peddling hedge pigs. Oh well...

Great news that Pearl is becoming a little fatty!
For the rest, day by day is all you can do. Praying with you. xx

I only worry about over stimulation when I end up with a hysterically crying rat at bedtime! (Little Rat is her nickname given to her by DH. I am Big Rat. There is actually an explanation behind these nicknames, but it won't make sense to anyone else I think!)

To be fair we are all awfully NICE middle class people that talk to our babies (except Shazz ;-), sing, read books and make them feel loved and secure, which is really all they need to develop their potential.

I have developed such an aversion against expressing that I am definitely NOT doing it. If DH is in charge she'll get some lovely formula or EBM from the freezer. (I know I am lucky to have a drawer full)

crisps Good to hear from you!!

My cousin, who lives in the countryside, where I think Special K is quite popular basically because there is not much to do, used ketamine a few times too many and now has some sort of bladder issue. This put me right off. Mind you, in the Netherlands we got all this drug nonsense out of our system at age 14. I did enjoy the Oramorph and pethidine though I must say.

Yes I know about those enlarged brain ventricles ...

Do you have any clue where she picked up the RSV?

Good to hear your mother arrived. My mum was such a help when it all kicked off. She happened to be over when my waters broke.

expat Four month sleep regression?

expat Bella has gone back to 3hr sleeping cycles so you get little sympathy from me!! ;-)

crisps oh dear, I'm so sorry Nancy isn't better. I really hope having your mum around is a comfort. Bravo on Pearl's weight gain though, it's pretty impressive given whats going on.

I think I've got a bit of mastitis. P napped a lot yesterday and as a result only fed 3 times. I woke up with very sore breasts and woke her up to feed her but she wasn't very hungry. Woke up this morning very sore and feeling like I have the flu. I've been shoving my breasts into P's face all day since, trying to get her to feed as much as poss. I appreciate that this may all seem rather ironic!

Keep- babies backslide all the time, it's just temporary.

Shazza- if you are exclusively breast feeding and She's not having any solids then you are 98% protected against conceiving anyway. I would have thought that's about the same level of protection that you'd get from the mini pill.

I was wondering, how are your hives now post pregnancy?

At the risk of getting a pasting M was back to stellar sleeping last night. 9-8.30. Lovely eh? I just need to stop being stupid and go to bed earlier.

Keep, that sounds pretty good to me unless I read it wrong? She slept 6-12? One bad day is not a habit.

M is 3 months older than a lot of your babies. Your eye bags have hope.

That's a great sleep from ringlett. You must feel like a new woman! Am jealous of your rural idyl, where you could find a real horse.

expat sounds like you need to get out the baby rice for mini al .

Steak fairy?! As a veggie I doubt my digestive system could cope, let alone a 4 month old.

shazz pleased to hear you are feeling a bit better and I'm keeping my fingers crossed Shazlett doesn't get it. I can't imagine being ill and looking after a baby. Btw my mum thought you were lovely when she met you!

Re contraceptive, I'm not sure. The chance of it happening naturally for us is v v v slim - it took a lot of ivf to get ginster- but guess we may use condoms for a bit. Like you, I'm surprised to find that I don't want another at the mo - I feel so lucky to have this one and feel I couldn't love another like I do her and want to put all my energy into doing a good job with her. Plus we couldn't afford the ivf or childcare!

dildals ta for the baby centre tip - I've just got the app. I loved the preggo one.

Aww keep I'm sure you haven't fucked up all your hard work. It's so hard doing what's best vs getting enough sleep to be able to function. Did you say your mum was coming this week?

ceara not long to go now, verrrry exciting! I know what you mean re tempting fate and having all the baby stuff ready - i kept receipts for everything so we could take stuff back if needs be. It'll be fine though and it's good to be prepared for when the baby arrives.

I'm thinking nok's nipper must be here by now...

Just seen your message crisps. I am keeping everything crossed for Nancy. Your one day at a time approach is v sensible. Sending you all lots of love.

We had a thing with our neighbours that at first made me fucking livid and now has upset me. Ginster is pretty good at night and squeaks rather than full on cries when she wants something. At 6.15 this morning she did have a full on crying fit whilst we changed her nappy fail and the bitch neighbour began hammering on the wall, screaming that it was the middle of the night! DH wisely prevented me from yelling obscenities back and ginster stopped crying as soon as she was put on the boob post change. It was literally the only time she'd cried all night.

Our walls are v thin (we regularly hear the bitch neighbour shouting and swearing at her boyf) and it must be annoying to be woken by someone else's baby, but what are we meant to do?! It's really stressed me out, as we never just let ginster cry and now feel extra pressure to not let her make any noise. It also makes me sad that someone can be so angry and mean to my beautiful baby.

I don't think it's worth talking to the bitch in person, as suspect it'll end up in a slanging match, but I may stick a note through the door apologising for the noise but explaining that we always do what we can to stop the crying. It's all rather galling with all the shouting we hear and we've lived here 6 years and they've just been renting 6 months... And I'm not having the bitch banging on the wall every time G cries.

Sorry rant over. Any tips on dealing with it would be appreciated!

Battery about to go but want to say Gin don't apologise! You have a baby, not a stereo cranked up. That's life. Rise above, if you can. Keep a diary for if you need to make an official complaint. Bitch. So much for sisterly support.

I agree gin don't apologise!

shaz we aren't using anything, though I would be a bit scared if it happened now. I am bf, and we've only done it twice, so it wouldn't even be that likely for a fertile!

no all. she conked out 6-8.30 on dh, then 9-12 in her cot. twas a bad night, basically she'd fall asleep as usual, we'd wait till she was deep, put her down and she'd wake immediately. like she does in the day.

looks like Nancy 2 is here noks congratulations!!

crisps I'm so sorry it's all so appallingly awful. one day at a time. but well done to pearl!

Not much time to post but I just wanted to say hello to crisps, go Pearl and I'm thinking of Nancy. Yes, horse is heroin. If minihy doesn't sort out her nights I'm going to go and get some for myself. Shazz, for the time being I've decided abstinence is the best form of contraception onion and expat I'm not remotely jealous of your supersleeps and wish you all the happiness in the world . Gin your neighbour is a bitch and I'll happily come over and sort her out for you. Hi to fairy, ceara, sweets and all. Can I go to bed yet? Oh no, because it's 5pm and my baby won't sleep. Bollocks.

What is the noks news? Can anyone tell me?

crisps wishing you all strength, especially Nancy. I'm so glad your mum's over and can help out. Good news about Big Fat Pearl.

gin your neighbour is a cow. I'd try and ignore it though.

You alright there MrsH?
Sorry about your crappy night Keep. Hang on in there. Drink beer.

I think there may be news at Noks tower according to FB. Congratulations

Crisps my thoughts are with you and your family. I wish Nancy every ounce of fighting spirit she needs at this time.

Shazza we almost DTD the other night but I was worried about lack of contraception even though DTs were egg donor so it is highly unlikely anything would happen naturally. I used to have the Depo jab so might go on that again. I will speak to MW or HV this week. We have one frozen embryo left too but after all the post partum issues I have had I doubt we will go through this again plus we have our family now.

Expat baby rice at 5 weeks - are people mad??? Or steak & oj Fairy

Dildals will look at the babycentre app too, I am fully embracing the apps these days. Anything to help fathom out what might be going on in this new adventure I seem to be on.

ceara I had a planned c-sec too and that bit actually went really well. Of course I was bricking it but nothing to worry about. The biggest pain was the catheter and moving around until it was removed. I took it easy for first weeks but slowly started to do more and more. I might have overdone it on a couple of occasions but only because I felt so well. My wound have leaked a few times but this is normal apparently and the GP gave me a course of antibiotics to prevent infection. You will be fine, if you have any questions just ask away.

Without wanting to be smug I am worried about the lack of awake time that the twins have. They sleep all the time day & night, they are slightly more awake in the evening and night but not much. I am not sure what I should be doing to encourage them to be more awake, or should I just thank my lucky stars as things will change. They are 4 weeks only tomorrow and were born at 38 weeks so not sure if this is normal.

Oh god I've just read my post below and sound like a right grumpy old bitter bitch don't I!! Please ignore me. I think I actually feel more tired in the late afternoon/ early evening than I do later on and it clearly came out below . Sorry all. As you were. Xx

No MrsH, you sounded like someone who had not slept cowering under the kitchen counter clasping a bottle of cooking Marsala.

Sweetie, are the twins putting on weight? If so, they're doing perfectly. M slept a lot when she was tiny (not that she was ever that tiny) too.

I don't see anything on FB. Not fair!

Waaaaaaaaaaah nok nok nokity noks! Huge congrats. Have deleted facebook as was getting unreasonably pissed off with everyones new lives but am going to reinstall it asap to snoop, yayayay!
Gin your neighbour sounds like an utter twunt (sorry swearing police dildals ;)). I would bang back randomly. Or post nappies through her letterbox while she is out. What a cowbag!
Four month sleep regression...don't get me started, ugh. Dd1 was a complete angel until four months and was dreadful afterwards, partly due to a stupid hv who insisted we woke her every two hours, ugh.
Dildals...we call Pearl rat baby, not a nice nickname I know but she was so tiny when she was born that she really did look pink
Ike a little rat baby, that kind of bright pink colour that small prem babies have....we call Nancy the tortoise, because she has a lovely long neck and we are hoping that in her case slow and steadywill win the race! thea was always little sparrow because she was so slim and birdlike, and because the dolly parton song reminded me of her. Please don't call social services, have just realised how terrible these nicknames sound in real life...
And to all those feeling ugh and tired and pissed off...right there withbyou, not even because of the Nancyness, just because being woken several times a night by seemingly pointless crying is just rude! Our hospital room is next to another where a lovely couple whose baby is also in icu are staying but they only have one child, and I did have to apologise the other day in case they heard me telling BFP (Big Fat Pearl, obvs) to shut UP at 2am. Bah, sod it.
No more seizures today (huzzah) but tomorrow is Must Be Making Some Progress Day and I have a feeling it might be another Not Quite Yet situation, so cross your fingers for an improving xray please yoni aunties...

Sweetie I would make the most of it. so long as they're having some alert time each day. s was sleepy for a while.

not any more. after a lovely day she still wouldn't sleep overnight. finally coslept again at 4 after I'd been up 3 hours trying getting her deep, light, patting her tummy. even cosleeping was hard to get her off. am shattered. I really hope this is a phase. she doesn't seem hungrier than usual though, just more restless and light sleeping.

you have to look on noks' wall al she has congratulations on her Nancy!

Is she constantly on the boob during this time Keep?
M fed near enough on the hour for a long long time.

sweetie it is normal for newborns to wake up and only be awake for an hour or so at most before falling asleep again. They also can wake up and then cat nap for a while, which makes it hard to tell how much time they have been awake. They can sleep anywhere between 12-20 hours per day. Pangolina was quite sleepy too until she was about 6 weeks, your twins might be like that a bit longer given they were born at 38 weeks. I wouldn't worry about it unless it meant they weren't eating and gaining weight. If they are doing that then they should be fine.

crisps glad that the seizures have stopped, hope Nancy shows some progress today.

yay noks!

keep god, poor you!