Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/ Warriors Part 5

[MrsHY1]

Hello ladies! Come and find me!

yes shaz, just moving nearby. how did the bottle go? s goes mental with it now, don't know if it's worth persevering... very odd. she never liked it but would drink some.

s has a fever. went to go ooh who said to monitor. it's up a bit more so I've given calpol and on alert to take her to the hosp if over 38.6. she seems OK apart from that though go said it could still be from her jabs 10 days ago??

crisps poor Nancy having the ecmo change but it does sound a bit of good news. still thinking of and praying for you all

Morning keep sorry about kip's fever. How often are you taking the temp? That must be worrying. Exciting moving into a new house. The idea of packing up is very daunting especially as it would be a complete change of place, job, pace, life but we can't stay the same and something is needed. This flat is ok for now but there is no garden and I want shazlett to be able to go out and play.

She took the bottle seemingly without even noticing. Such is my importance to her! I expressed while DP fed her in the other room and then supposedly put her to bed. He did interrupt me twice though. Once to change her cause I was in the baby's room and the second time cause she wouldn't go to sleep. She didn't drink herself to sleepyness with the bottle. Maybe because I didn't give her enough? The MW at the milk spot said 20ml for each kilo of weight so 90ml at the mo. how is kip refusing the bottle? Literally turning her head and not even taking it in her mouth?

I'm really looking forward to the 3 of us being together at the weekend. We do have visitors sat and sun though. DP has friends and family who want to see the baby. I hope they are sensitive and only stay an hour or so. Especially as both couples have very active 5 yr old boys.

yeah she turns her head, cries etc

temp seems to have gone. I took it when she woke for food, so 12, 4, 7.30. will keep an eye on it.

Hope NNL settles back into making little steps in the right direction. crisps I'm not surprised you have periods of wanting to go home, it must all be like a strange dream. I hope all the other babies are ok, dear god but it makes me count my many blessings.

shazza we went from inner city grimness to 'semi rural' just over a year ago. If you bought a 3 bed then could DP have a studio at home?

That's great N took the bottle, hope she does it again. (ringlet refused the second time...)

keep hope the fever's gone, poor mite. I find a dose of Calpol almost always works as well as swapping proper bedding for a good old cellular blanket. If the fever's still up after about 45 mins I give ibuprofen as well.

Visitors here too, cousins though so DD1 will be occupied. I'm a bit scared of 5 year old boys!

Yes we are looking at places with garages that DP can use as a studio to cut costs and also travel time.

I'm also scared of boys! The one today is very cute and loves DP so much. But DP winds him up into a frenzy and he ends up running around frantically and then crying when the game has to stop because it has got out if control. I don't have a flat big enough for this kind of running activity and it stresses me out!

Keep I'm glad that kip is feeling better. Shazlett is 8 weeks today jabs on friday so I've got the calpol at the ready.

Hope everyone else is ok and enjoying the weekend

Much love to NNL. XX

Breaking news....I just put shazlett down in the basket yawning but awake and SHE FELL ASLEEP IN HER OWN!!! Ok only for 40 mins but it's a start!

High five Shazz! Xx

Thanks MrsH. How was it with supernanny? Any pearls of wisedom you can share please?

I'm feeling abit upset because the SIL plus DNs visit got abit out of hand. DP loves his nephew so much but both get very excited and manic. I felt that it was too soon for such a visit but DP insisted. Anyway to cut a long story short shazlett got hit square between the eyes by the pointy end of a paper airplane that was thrown by DP! I got really cross and was glaring daggers across the room. I know it was an accident but that was exactly my point pre visit Then having been told not to throw the planes near shazlett darling nephew did it again and this time it hit my arm instead of shazlett. I got upset and so did he and it all got tricky with SIL. Did I over react? I just think that with an 8 week old baby around we shouldn't be throwing things. It wasn't DNs fault he was just copying his idol DP. Anyway thankfully they've gone now and stern words have been exchanged chez shaz.

Shazz I completely understand and would have done the same in your position. How did SIL react? Does DP get it now?
Have put a bit more on Fbook re supernanny but the settling/soothing advice was good (propped on pillow and using pats and dummy to send her drowsy rather than in-arms- not that in arms is bad per se but just so that DP can settle her to sleep if needed). The other bits are prob more personal to DD but useful to know- she likes having her head propped up a bit in the basket, tilted ever so slightly to the right, with a towel wedged under the head of the basket and the stand to tilt it further. She also prefers a lamp on for any sleep she takes after 6am. She wants the moon on a bloody stick

noks I hope you are at home in your baby bubble and recovering from it all.

I do sort of get how Nancy II being breech was missed, as an expereienced midwife and consultant both thought mine was head down until the scan said otherwise, and they have been honest about not knowing for sure whether he'd turned just by feeling the bump at subsequent appointments. So who knows if the breech presentation would have been spotted if I hadn't had the growth scan. But after 36 hours of labour I don't suppose I'd feel that forgiving in your shoes ;-)

crisps fingers crossed for more Not Shit days for Nancy I once she gets past the circuit change and here's hoping that the fact of her holding steady yesterday was a good sign.

shazz the plan to move to Bristol sounds wonderful. I lived and worked there for four years a while ago now, and agree with Crisps that it was lovely - both the city itself, and being able to see out of it to green space. I then moved right into the sticks (which I really really miss now we're back in suburbia, even though getting a pint of milk is a lot more convenient where we are now!). But I think moving straight from London to the middle of nowhere might have been too much of a leap all in one go.

onion I think I am a little bit scared of pre-school boys too :-). And all being well that's what we are going to have one day. Help!!

MrsHY supernanny sounds fab. I hope you are getting a little bit more rest very soon.

keep sorry to hear Kip is poorly, I hope the temperature has settled.

motor great scan news! (though not good that it was uncomfortable). Bump measurements seem to be a bit of a random lottery, mine has been four weeks behind (hence the growth scans) but the baby inside is apparently enormous! I think bump measurements up to 2 weeks either side are within tolerances so aren't cause for worry. And also brilliant that you have your in-laws working hard on the nursery.

sweetie, I would definitely take the BUPA route and get a referral to an opthalmologist sooner rather than later. Anything to do with your sight is worrying and bound to be anxiety-provoking, so the sooner you know what's going on and hopefully get some meaningful reassurance from a specialist, the better.

expat I'm glad the work meeting went so well, you must be really pleased.

choco I'm embarrassed to say I didn't get sick so no advice to offer, just sympathy.

So, I am still pregnant - which is good news as the planned c-section is scheduled for next week so we want to stay pregnant for a few more days.

I am irrationally terrified that having come so far, something will go wrong in these final days/hours. Somebody please slap me and tell me to get a grip!

buzzy hope all is OK with you and minibee. Your due date is a couple of days after mine, isn't it, so all very close now?

ceara I was still mentalling in the operating theatre so no need to stop now! What day next week?

I hope buzzy is ok too.

shazza ringlet is nine months and I still have a firm no throwing rule. If it's any comfort I would have been furious and told everyone off. And probably chucked them out too.

I'm well jealous of that 40 minute nap.

DD1 is ill tonight - she is itching all over and has been crying hysterically, I have no idea what is going on but have given her piriton and DH is trying to settle her. I'm working out how to co-sleep with both if need be. Which is actually impossible of course. It may be a very long night...

Onion how was last night? Is DD1 any better today?

Crisps how are things going? Hoping little N has had a Not Shite day.

Ceara I think it is hard not to mental about any medical procedure or operation. I found the most nerve wracking bit was having the spinal block done but once this was in the rest just happened. The baby deliver bit was surprisingly quick and then the stitching up seemed to take the longest. You will have your new born in your arms before you know it.

Shazza I have heard really good things about Bristol and you won't be far from real countryside. That would be lovely for N too. I don't think you over reacted at all about the DP/DN situation. I would have gone mental if that had happened. I feel very unsettled when we have young visitors around. I am not brill when we have adult visitors but kids I am even worse.

I am going to ring around BUPA and try get some appointments sorted tomorrow for my vision to be investigated. The GP rang me this afternoon WTAF on a Sunday!!! to discuss options and what I need to do next.

Quickie from me while the ward is closed...
Hopemkip and onion's dd1 are both better. Piriton always made my dd1 sleep for hours so hope onion dd (we need a different name!) got some rest.
Shazza I would have punched my sijaws squarely in the face while roundhouse kicking dh if I had to put up with that malarkey! Motherhood is very primal, don't ever feel the need to apologise for being a good mum who cares about their child. Dh knows his s drives me mad and is v good at avoiding visits. That said she is coming down tomorrow for breakfast but am sure she will be fine. She does have a tendency to tell us 'not to listen to the doctors as she knows nnl will be fine' so if there are reports of a rage fit in Leicester on the news tomorrow you will know that she has done it again and I have overreacted.
Ceara how long do you have left?
Dildals bfp was particularly potent today. Mum has taken both girls back to my auntie's for the night to give us some time with nnl and to see the consltants together tomorrow and our little room still stinks from her spectacular poo six hours ago, whew! It has been ,ostly good having my mum here, she is very helpful, if a little bit into overorganising at times ('shall i cook us a fish pie three weeks on Tuesday' kind of stuff). Dh bought me some gorgeous doc marten boots this week when we happened upon a shoe shop and mum treated me to a new parka as I haven't been able to get a coat from home yet and have been living in my not very glam all weather coat from my car. Mum says I now look like I am 'on my way to a greenpeace protest rally' which must mean that I have got my look right!! I have always been a bit scruffy grungy and mother is very girlie...i think that despite dh and three children she is secretly worried that I am a lesbian because of all the black clothes and drumming which is just not very feminine apparently!
Noks hope the bubble is all good and that you are settling in to motherhood nicely and surrounded by maize.
Nnl has had a not too shite day today, except that she is really unsettled. They are trying to wean her off morphine and midazelam as it isn't good for her body to process so much and she has been on them for almost five weeks now. Also her being a bit more awake and coughing is good in helping to shift the crap that is clogging her chest up. So today she has been mostly shaking with withdrawal and in a bit of pain, and crying a lot...I know all babies cry but this is real tears stuff which is quite upsetting. All for the greater good though so we are just trucking on with it. Tomorrow is another d day for her, she hasn't had a proper x ray since last Tues to see how her chest is getting on as Friday's x ray may still not have shown the effect of the circuit change so we will have a better idea of how she is getting on. It was starting to clear a tiny bit last week but the super pessimistic icu consultants are quick to remind us that her lungs may clear but still be damaged underneath. We are still choosing to deal with that if and when it happens! Have had my first glass of wine in about two years (I am mostly tee total) tonight which was lovely. I could really get into this alcohol thing! Apart from the occasional cigarette I don't really have much time out from all this so dh and I went to the pub down the road (as advised by my oracle and icu guru dildals) for an hour which was bliss. Situations like this make you realise what is important, and we really don't need anything other than the few bits which are crammed in to our little room and our awesome friends (you lot included) who always remember us and keep our spirits up, so cheers, you don't know how much tit helps and a big fat maizy thankyou to you all. Night all x

Hello girls

How was your night onion? Is dd1 ok? Sounds like an allergic reaction.

Ceara when is your c section? So exciting to have more babies on the way with you and buzzy this week. Not all 5 yr old boys are unruly. Today we had more friends visit and their little boy is a treasure and played the card game with us that he had brought with him. No running riot or complaining that it is boring here.

Re Bristol if I PM you please could you let me know which area you lived in and any nice areas you know? Only if you have time. Thanks.

MrsH sounds like supernanny helped a lot. I wonder how she worked out MissH's nap preferences. Or maybe those suggestions are standard for many babies.

I hope everyone else is ok.

Crisps how is NNL after the change over?

Noks how is life with the nipper? She is soooo gorgeous!

We've just had bath time following a basket nap of over an hour. Progress indeed. DP has styled shazlett's hair into a bouffant. It is very Dynasty!

I'm taking her into work tomorrow. My first trip 'up West'. Quite an adventure for both of us. It's funny how far we have come. Only 4 weeks ago I would never have imagine going out on my own let alone going into central London alone.

Tit helps? I need them.

Aw crisps I hope you get Not Shite news tomorrow and keep plodding on in the right direction. Poor poor mite with the shaking and crying. I so wish this wasn't happening to her.

I am your DM and Parka sistah! But in an uncool way as it's muddy round here! Glad you had a glass of wine and that you have Dildals to mentor you.

ceara agree with shazz that the spinal is the worst bit so once that's done it's all ok. The spinal isn't awful either, just strange, breathe slowly and keep very still and it will be ok. Having a section is generally strange rather than awful actually.

Being brief here as waiting for all to kick off again. I think Dd1 might have WORMS. Am horrified but they can cause a sudden very sore bum (front and back) in the night. I'm supposed to look up her bum with a torch and see if I can spot them. Actual WORMS! Christ, mothers love etc. I'm driving to a late night chemist to get pills if she starts again tonight as she was so distressed last night I had to hold her down. Exhausting.

X posted shazza - bet N looks great! ringlet doesn't have much hair still but manages to look a bit like the Duke of Windsor - that one who abdicated - is that him?

Oh my God onion. Poor dd1. I have. a memory of my aunty crying because my cousins had worms. I must have been less than 10 But I understood that it was very stressful for all involved. I really hope she is ok and comfortable. How does one get worms? Do you catch them? Good luck. Hope the night is ok for all of you. Xx

Great to hear from you crisps. I hope today is positive for you and NNL.

ceara do you have a date for CS? So exciting to think you will meet your baby in the next few days! My MIL is a retired paediatrician, and she thinks that ECS are very sensible, particularly if any risk. I'm sure nothing will go wrong by the way!

On dear onion -poor DD1 and poor you for having to deal with worms. Hope it gets sorted quickly.

How are you doing buzzy? We hear so little from you. You must be due this next week too. I hope all is well.

Well, our nursery just needs a second coat of gloss on the woodwork which DH will do this evening (I can't lay on my tummy on the floor to do the skirting boards!) The carpet is booked to be laid at the end of the month, and I have chosen some carpet material. Mini-motor is in LOA position, I am fairly sure, but I imagine that can change between now and the next 8 weeks or so. I will try and keep him there! Four more weeks of work to go - I cannot wait to stop.

curtain, not carpet material..

4 weeks of work motor!! brilliant. good minimotor for being in the right position. hopefully s/he is getting a bit tight to move now.

ceara how amazingly exciting! it must be weird to have the time sorted with an elcs.

buzzy are you having a cs in the end or is your placenta not in the way? hope you're OK.

onion I thought sucking snot was bad... we had worms often when young. I blame my sis whobit her nails.how did the night exploration go?

all OK here.dh has been on nights which has been crap while s had a temperature, but she's OK now and we coped fine really. looking forward to some company. had our last official Nct meet up yesterday, with the teacher. the babies are all v different. o always feel bad for the others as s is by far the most beautiful and also the smiliest/cooiest. but true. she does not sleep 12 hours but in a lifetime who cares!! (can you tell we've had a good night)

sweetie that's weird but good your gp called on a Sunday. I really hope you can get some improvement. how are the twins? more lively now? x

go NNL go!! always thinking of you x

Just in case the others were wondering, I do not advocate alcoholism as a coping mechanism!! ;-)

(Although we did sneak wine in to our rooming in room.)

crisps I also hated it when people said 'oh she'll be fine' especially all the stories they wheel out about their friends' neighbours cousin third removed who was also born at x weeks gestation and who is now perfectly healthy, running a drug cartel/managing the local Maplins/became Einstein. This may all be perfectly fine, true and well but this does not mean it will be the case for you. Statistics have this funny way of not always working out for the person involved.

I remember Bella being on 'nil by mouth' well, 'nil by NG' regime for 24hrs because her belly had distended. The poor dab was ravenous and crying for hunger. (She did get fluids, but that was it) I couldn't stay and watch I had to go home. I felt so bad that I wasn't able to help her.

Will they start NNL on steroids? That could potentially help her along quite a bit. I remember some of the babies in NICU getting them. The long term side effects sound pretty scary don't they. I guess it's a trade off at this point. Has she been OK with the bleeding on the ECMO?

I feel so lucky and blessed to have this happy camper sitting across for me. She's trying to get her dummy back in and in the process is pretending to be a fish. The thought of losing her knocks the wind out of my lungs, I am not sure I could do it again. It's also made me desperate for a second child, so I have a 'back up' one, in case something goes wrong. Strange isn't it. And I can hear the children next door now, she's shouting at them to get ready for school, she's pregnant with number six! It's all so double. In the hospital you sit outside with the teenage pregnant girl, smoking, on the one end of the spectrum and then you. Anyway. It's a cliche, but that's life I guess.

Good luck my lovely, as you know, we are all thinking, praying and rooting for you, your family and NNL.

I, however, do recommend alcohol as a coping mechanism. Sometimes!

Totally understand the 'back up' mentality but sadly you can't replace what's lost. I suspect it gives you more motivation to keep going for the sake of the surviving child. I was wracked with guilt about the years I spent full of grief while trying to raise DD1 but now I hope that as time goes on any damage that may have been done then will fade. Anyway. People and babies can be remarkably resilient.

motor good going on the nursery. Must be a good feeling to have it nearly done. Times flying along for you too now!

Totally quiet night last night so not sure about the worms now. I've bought the medication though just in case. Children really are grotty.

Hello ladies
We are on the bus going 'up west' quite an adventure! I'm taking shazlett to work.

Onion I've been reading about worms on the NHS website. Oh my giddy eye I feel for poor dd1. It sounds awful and you all have to take the medication. Bloody hell it's one thing after another isn't it?

Dildals such a beautiful post. I also feel so blessed and the thought of not being with her is unbearable. I can't even think about going back to work let alone heaven forbid anything more serious should happen. I remember fairy saying something about the strong emotions for the baby when I was fretting about my relationship with DP can find after the baby was born. I could never have imagined the intensity though. You have also been through so much. How was your trip? Did bella enjoy her first foreign holiday?

Keep glad kip is better. I love the fact that she is the most beautiful at Nct . There are 2 very beautiful little girls at our Nct right Gin?

Motor only 4 weeks and counting. So brilliant. And good news about the nursery. Definitely don't attempt the glossing. You shouldn't be doing that. You could make tea for all those going the work.

Crisps hope it's another not too shite day for our NNL.

Hello everyone else. I hope you all had good nights. We didn't swaddle shazlett in the end and she still slept. I was so pleased.

Well we are nearly here. Seems funny to be walking in with the baby now.

Worms and sucking snot. Oh the style and glamour of this thread :-)

The worms do sound a bit grim, *onions", hopefully the threat of the medication will see them off without a fight.

crisps wishing NNL and all of you all the strength you need, and crossing fingers and toes for another not totally shit day and for some positive news from the x-ray.

shazz hope you and N enjoyed the Big Adventure and she was suitably admired by all your colleagues. And of course you can PM me about areas of Bristol.

keep yaay to kip feeling better and a good night last night.

motor I'm impressed! We ended up just wiping down the woodwork as the family members I thought I'd sweet-talked into helping out went down with a bug. I ended up doing the walls myself (at 38 and a half weeks probably not recommended, but small bumps have their uses). You definitely shouldn't be crawling around breathing in gloss fumes at this stage, so stick to supervising the workforce.

It does indeed feel a bit wierd to have had the baby's delivery date in the diary for weeks - though obviously conditional on him not getting impatient in the meantime. Only another 2 days to go now. I am feeling quite anxious and apprehensive about the surgery part but my consultant and midwife have been brilliant about explaining everything and allaying my fears as far as possible. But that isn't stopping me mentalling about whether the baby is still OK inside, so there is lots of paranoid movement checking going on - the baby must be fed up with all the cold drinks and me poking him to make him wriggle about :-) I've been trying to distract myself constructively so we now have a bulging freezer. DH has been taking the piss of the quantity of ready meals I've made, so sadly I fear he is going to find that all the frozen cake portions are in flavours he doesn't like and that I will have to eat them all myself...

By way of further distraction, the fecking central heating boiler died yesterday, 3 days after being cleaned and serviced which is just ingratitude. Plumber booked for tomorrow to assess whether it's terminal. Thankfully we do have an immersion back-up for hot water and also some plug-in heaters from when we lived in the sticks with a wood burner but no central heating. Though it took 2 hours of meltdown before either of us remembered these things - doh! But why, WHY, do boilers have to be such divas, that they only break down in winter when there's frost on the ground, or at really inconvenient times like bank holidays or 48 hours before you're having a baby? Not nice warm June days when heating doesn't matter and the plumber doesn't have much work on.

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Gosh ceara poor you with the boiler. What appalling timing. Fingers crossed its ok.

I know it won't matter a jot because it is natural to worry but try not to worry too much about the op. it isn't so bad and as long as you rest afterwards you should recover pretty quickly. The first few weeks are hard because you can't do anything so I hope you have some help lined up. Just don't overdo it. It is tempting if you are feeling better to walk that little bit further or to lift the heavy bag/chair/box etc but please don't. It's not worth it. Day by day you will feel a little but better and then one day you can't feel it anymore.

It is funny to know that the baby will be here in 2 days. You know the exact time this life changing event will happen. At least you won't have to go through the waiting game. It is very organised and civilised to have it all booked in.

Good luck with it all. Can't wait to hear about the little chap.

Our trip went very well. Shazlett caused quite a stir. As we were going up in the lift she spectacularly filled her nappy. It was very loud and absolutely stank! I had to apologise to everyone in the lift. When I went to change her it was a complete change, poonami situation. Up the back, sides, arms, legs!!! She had been wearing a cute outfit and so then had to go in wearing the emergency changing bag change of clothes. Luckily she is so beautiful that didn't matter . They all coo'd over her and she fell asleep in my bosses arms and then in another colleagues arms. She was good as gold and I was super proud. It was weird being in the office. It was as if I was the same person but then shazlett was there so I was different from everyone else. I really hope something happens before I have to go back. I so don't want to go back full time. Anyway I'm not supposed to think about that yet. I don't want worry about the future to rob me of my enjoyment of the present.