The Elderberry Helicopter #3, in which we continue to fret and play 'guess the sex'

[Boomgoestheweasel]

Open to all elderberry grads and anyone who fits the berry criteria: over 30, pregnant with #1 after trying for a loooong time, and nervous as hell. Come on in for handholding and nub theory!

Kitty, our area is pretty crap. It was supposed to be a 2 day course, 10-3 but they cut it down to 1. I'm kind of glad, because my arse is still numb from that chair but very sad there was no time to get to know anyone.
However, the midwife was very gushingly positive about the idea of a home birth, considering we were all first timers. If we qualify for the MLU then we can ask for a home birth.

We know and love our connected neighbours and may even be able to ask them to look after the dog so he doesn't get too annoying. We just need to find out a bit more about water birth and the space required.

We haven't got the money for NCT but I'm thinking of contacting them anyway to see what options we have.

tally well in that case I'll tell you about my friends.
Friend 1 days they're great as you can walk around your house, as desired, make tea, be distracted with tv etc. she hated her hospital birth (there was no beds available when she needed one and practically gave birth in a sleuce!). After her second she, Dh, dc and new baby all snuggled into bed and got takeaway pizza. When she went downstairs the next day the mws had cleaned up so well it was like nothing had happened!
Friend 2 realised she didn't have much choice as she gives birth so quickly and wouldn't make the hospital in time. That said, the mw literally just made her last one!
Friend 3 didn't go through with hers in the end but was going to as apparently you get more mw attention and potentially earlier

question for the teacher berries. my school r saying I have to start my maternity leave on a Monday. aparently I can't start it on a Friday. so im having to hav a week longer than I actually want. Can they do this?

Puppy as far as I know that's a law thing - mat leave always starts on a Monday regardless of what you do! Why do you have to go a week early though?

That's odd puppy. Maybe it's because you don't start it til Monday as you are officially working til Friday is finished? I put the date of the Saturday onto my form and no one has said anything yet.

Midwives are generally keen on home birth for the first now, the stats suggest it is just as safe provided you are low risk. You can rent a pool (lots of companies online) but need to make sure your floor is strong enough to hold it.
Puppy can you not work the Friday which you wanted to start mat leave meaning you work one extra day and start mat leave the Monday after when you wanted to start? That way you are not starting it 4 days earlier than you wanted to..,

merk thats what I want to do. im due sat 31st (end of half term week) I want to start mat leave on fri 30 th. Cos mon 2nd june is after my due date it cant start then so they r saying I hav to start it on mon 26th ( meaning I miss my normal pay for that half term week)

can they make me start then? my union info seems to say I can start it any day... (don't really want to make a fuss and get union involved. but need to check it out)

tally know you said you can't afford the full nct course but they do a home birth session (well in my area anyway) that might be worth attending?

Thanks kitty, I'll have a look.
I'm annoyed at the mat leave dates too. I nearly tried to make it to the end of term so I could have half term too but decided against it. I was under the impression it was your choice not theirs!

puppy check out www.maternityaction.org.uk/wp/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/
They have a free advice line and will prob be able to help.

Also found something about Parental leave having to be taken in 1 week blocks, but not mat leave??? hmm

thanks foody that info seems to he saying you can start anytime up to due date. ill hav a good look at my union info in morning.

on a better subject baby has been wriggling and twitching quite a lot, and oh managed to feel a couple of big ones this morning! he was v pleased

puppy ah it's lovely isn't it? My Dh has only felt her a few times as he's not patient enough to wait with his hand on my tummy!

kitty mine was exactly the same!!! even tho he was really pleased, no patience at all!

They don't seem to realise that just because we say baby is moving doesn't mean we know it's going to keep going. My dh has finally grasped it and will be patient now, but thats probably also because the kicks are much more noticeable now too.

So watched a few birth and breast feeding videos on YouTube tonight. Was surprised how many required you to be 18 to view them! Ok maybe the birthing ones are a tad shocking but the breastfeeding ones, seriously? Maybe if more people realised the actual function of breasts Ot wouldn't be so x rated!!!

Did lol at the cat's ears going back at the birthing vids! Good job I'm not going for a home birth eh haha?!

I've never thought of watching YouTube videos. Was it helpful?

Have just booked a private scan for Thurs eve... The fear got to me! Worried my bump doesn't seem to have grown for a while, I can't see any evidence that its grown and i haven't felt like it has grown either.

Hello all. Clench reminders are great on here
merk will they measure baby at your scan then? Nice to get another glimpse.

I'm not sure about the mat leave stuff I'm afraid, but have given a Friday as my last day so I guess that mine starts on a Monday anyway. Hope you can sort it puppy

Yes it's a growth scan so hoping for reassurance she's on track and that she has got a chin

Do you really think she's not on track?

Thunder: Due Date 20 March. Surprise!
Merkin, due date 21 March, expecting a girl
Katatonic: Due Date 11 April. Having a surprise.
Tally, due 17th April. Having a girl, but no pink allowed.
Boom: due 20th April. Surprises x 2!
PoppySeedBun: due 23rd April, girl, but also enforcing pink ban :)
Brodicea: due 5th May. Girl - minimal pink princess stuff please!
kitty 22+2 Edd 22/5/14, pink one!
Puppymummy due 31st May - still to find out the official team!
Foody: Due Date 15 June. either will do!
Charming: due 8th August. Booking appointment tomorrow!

Hi all,

Just popping my head in and adding myself to the list. You're all very good with the clench reminders. I thought the instructions from the other thread were really good, but I've also found an antenatal Pilates class near my office, which has also been useful. All the stuff about your 'core' is exactly the same set of muscles, so good practice.

I think I must have stepped through the invisible boundary to the third trimester today. Feeling super-tired and also like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my belly, which had also been inflated with a bicycle pump - it feels so tight and stretched today :(
I've also been getting what I assume is referred indigestion pain - a sort of ache in my back, about halfway up on the right side. Anyone else getting something similar?

brod re: breastfeeding, there was a really helpful post from Merk on the FB group with lots of links including YouTube videos of latching on, etc.

clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench &
CLEEEEENNNCH!
have just started feeling little popping taps inside the last few days, making me smile a lot (now I have decided its not always trapped wind)
kitty and shocked about the breast feeding vids being 18, ridiculous!
how many weeks are you now merk? hoping reassurance scan helps you relax a bit. I have 20 week next week and another internal in a few weeks and have no idea how long I will be able to go after that without having one.

On an annoying note I just dropped my tea! broke the bloody plate too . Very silly to be annoyed about the plate but I got it when I first left home at 17 & it has made 11 house moves without getting damaged grr.
Thankfully I had made enough tea for tomorrow so have eaten that.

Poppy I've not had a similar pain but know the tiredness well

Thunder I have always been as to feel my bump growing, I've had specific days/weeks where the skin feels tight and stretched. I've certainly not felt that for ages, plus my bump seems small (a nurse the other day guessed I was due in August).