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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

The Elderberry helicopter, for nub debates, holey tights and boxing pirate scans

992 replies

Tallyra · 25/10/2013 11:50

Open to all elderberry grads and anyone who fits the berry criteria: over 30, 1st to early 2nd trimester(ish) with #1 after trying for a loooong time, and nervous as hell. Come on in for handholding and nub theory!

OP posts:

Report

Boomgoestheweasel · 29/10/2013 17:50

Heh tally how nice, a picture of your cervix! Do you get given photos at every scan? Wonder if we'll get pictures all the way through too...probably not, I expect the babies get too big at some point to take a decent picture! It's great to finally get it out in the open, I'm not really a fan of FB announcements but that's the modern age for you I guess! This thread has made me feel a bit bad now though (even though I totally disagree with the OP)

Qaz I remember the tiredness, it's horrendous! It does get a bit better, I can now stay up until at least 8.30

BlindKitty · 29/10/2013 18:10

boom phew that's great news re your boss. I'd heard a few horror stories so its good to hear you have an understanding boss. Glad you've 'come out' on fb as well! I can't wait to slap my scan picture at the world! We deserve it with all the pics we've had to endure over the years!

foody poor you! you really do make me grateful for my lack of side effects! Have you considered a 'staggered return to work' e.g. working half days until you're well enough for full days? If so, you should get the gp to suggest it in your 'fit to work' note

Re lletz, I had cryotherapy to my cervix about 13 years ago so they've referred me to the consultant as well. Was a but bothered at first but then merk pointed out that I'd get more attention (and potentially more scans) so feel better now!

qaz I hear you with the lack of sleep. I'm waking at 3.00 and just wide awake for ages. Also can't remember the last night I didn't have a zombie dream, although I suspect it's something to do with watching walking dead every night!

puppy yep very clearly positive lol. Feel a bit silly now. Sure you don't need to but if it makes you feel better then fair enough!

Foodylicious · 29/10/2013 18:16

Puppy I last poas about a week ago, think i have got through about 15 in the last few weeks! they have all been obviously positive but some darker than others - thay are mass produced so not identical and I did them any different times of day. I have not used not a clearblue digi with the weeks display since I first got BFP as they are notorious for being inaccurate and 2 tests might give different weeks sending you into panic unnecessarily.

BlindKitty · 29/10/2013 18:17

boom re thread completely disagree with the writer about not texting. Whenever someone told me to my face, I literally counted the minutes before I could go home and cry! Wished I'd just had a gentle text!

BlindKitty · 29/10/2013 18:19

foody in total I've done 13 hpts! Thank goodness for ic!!!

Foodylicious · 29/10/2013 18:30

boom - have read that thread and don't agree with the OP either. if we know our friends well and how we normally communicate we can usualy judge it pretty well I think. I have some friends ttc I would want to tell in person - the ones who have asked me positively about how things have gone. 1 i would only tell by text as I think they would find it too hard face to face. then there are others like you say in fb who really will just deal with it like we all do/have had to. The difficulty is that most people access their emails and texts everywhere including work which is not where we want to be when we hear difficult news.
A few weeks ago I was at a friends house (she knows about mc) and another (male) friend was visiting too who does not know - she decided to take it upon herself to share someone else good news with me infront of other friend. I found this really hard and snapped "oh so they are telling everyone then?" I felt bad afterwards, but I think she should have been more considerate. I don't think it was her news to share and she should not have told me in front of someone I could not 'react' in front of. left me feeling really uncomfortable altogether.
Its all such a nightmare, but we muddle through...

Brodicea · 29/10/2013 18:54

I was just reading that thread - I did think the guidance on what to say in person was also a bit patronising (we had a similar discussion a couple of months back I think?) but I guess it does depend on the kind of relationship you have with your friends.
We've recently done a group email on facebook for people who haven't guessed / told already. This included one person I know was trying for ages, just as I pressed send she sent me a message with HER good news! She's due 5 days after me - phew! But there will be others I don't know about. It's often weird news for those who aren't even TTC (like single friends, recently split friends etc).

qazxc · 29/10/2013 18:55

foody I'm six weeks and am having first scan next monday. Am really hoping for a heartbeat on dildocam. fx
boom so glad work is sorted out, must be a big load off your mind.

I also have been wondering about how to tell a friend who has been ttc for years. for the previous couple of years we have been the barren twosome and have each other to confide in as to how hard it is. I know that she'll be happy for me (as i would for her) but i worry that she might feel it leaves her without anyone to confide in. Having said that i am probably getting ahead of myself as we might not get the news we want at the scan.

Tallyra · 29/10/2013 19:18

don't be so negative qaz, I know it's hard, but the chances are good everything's fine (i know, pot, kettle, and it seems there are a lot of mc here but it's technically a low risk.)

OP posts:

Tallyra · 29/10/2013 19:19

re scans. yes I have loads of photos now but today's one is the last for about a month.

OP posts:

CatsCantFlyFast · 29/10/2013 19:21

Hi all... Too lazy to name check or join in
I would suggest you all stop reading NOW as I spent last night googling ways to prevent tearing and the average length of the perenium (4.5cm if anyone wants to know) as it seems the longer the better I clearly need a slap round the head with some kind of sausage

Tallyra · 29/10/2013 19:32

thwack!

OP posts:

Brodicea · 29/10/2013 20:13

Hee hee merk!

Thundercatsarego · 29/10/2013 20:16

Did you measure yours then merk?

Thundercatsarego · 29/10/2013 20:19

boom I also disagree with that OP and agree with most of the respondents in that I much much prefer receiving news by text or email rather than face to face. But of course everyone is different and one thing will work for one friend that won't work for others.

foody sorry you're feeling cruddy.

Peeked into the other grads thread and it's all about baby poo! Too scary....

BlindKitty · 29/10/2013 21:32

qaz I had the same dilemma. She was the first person I told actually. I kind of had to as we speak so much (several times a day) re ttc so she knew when af was due, when I'd had my insemination (hate that word) etc. she's still very stressed with ttc but she's also over the moon for me and I think me getting diffed has given her some hope. Praying so hard she gets diffed soon

merk I read something about massaging the perineum with olive oil. Guessing you'd need to be super careful if you were to have sex after...may get a different hole...

BelissimaLol · 29/10/2013 21:49

Yeah apparently perineum massage is supposed to help avoid tears. I never did it and had a second degree tear with a few stitches but honestly merk? Try not to worry about it too much. The main thing is having baby and mum safe so these things won't matter in the long run. I never followed this advice though and worried myself sick about labour
Thund it will be you soon asking about poo colours!!! And have you decided whether to breast feed or not? - oh and did I tell you there will be a baby soon!!!!!!!

CatsCantFlyFast · 29/10/2013 22:04

I haven't measured but I am worried

Boomgoestheweasel · 29/10/2013 22:15

Are we all being quiet because we're off measuring our perineums?

Cavort · 29/10/2013 22:22

I did perineal massage daily in the shower from about 36 weeks (Mothercare sell a Perineal Massage Oil if cooking oil in the fanjo isn't your thing ). No idea if it worked as I ended up having an episiotomy for a forceps delivery, but I was casually chatting to the Consultant who delivered Elodie as she was stitching me up (as you do - god bless the epidural) and told her I was disappointed that I hadn't got to find out if the perineal massage had worked and she told me that, in her opinion, it didn't make much difference.

Tallyra · 30/10/2013 00:05

this pregnancy lark is odd. everyone talks about such weird stuff!

OP posts:

Boomgoestheweasel · 30/10/2013 06:06

Heh, love a good perineal convo! There isn't much evidence for massage but I shall be doing it nonetheless, can't do any harm..I had no idea you could get dedicated perineum oil, for some reason that's made me giggle. Probably the thought of nonchalantly plonking a bottle down at the till and daring the cashier to comment...

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CatsCantFlyFast · 30/10/2013 06:50

I read that hot compresses in the latter stages of labour seem to help. Now just need to find a midwife who agrees!

BlindKitty · 30/10/2013 07:04

And water births! Still trying to convince dh on that one! Well girls, been awake last 4 hours grrr . Really want to call in sick but chairing a meeting this morning and then teaching this afternoon. I need a holiday!

Thundercatsarego · 30/10/2013 07:53

Oh yeah lol give me five months and I'll lead the poo talk. Not til then though- hopefully anyway

Doesn't seem convincing evidence about perineal massage then? Youch.

I'm still worrying about having a live healthy baby, rather than the details that go with that. I wonder if that is going to change at some point?

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