The Elderberry helicopter, for nub debates, holey tights and boxing pirate scans

[Tallyra]

Open to all elderberry grads and anyone who fits the berry criteria: over 30, 1st to early 2nd trimester(ish) with #1 after trying for a loooong time, and nervous as hell. Come on in for handholding and nub theory!

I'm so sorry lady, another cruel trick. Nature is such a bitch. Sending you love and hugs as well xxx

Lady I'm so sorry, how awful. I echo everything everybody else said, we are def here if/when you need a shoulder to cry on. Look after your self over the next few weeks x

oh honey how crap after all that. stay strong. we are here for you.

I'm so so sorry about this shitty news for both of you. Don't think anything we can say will make it better. Lots of us have been there. Time heals a lot but give yourselves time to lick your wounds and grieve for your babies x

Gosh not good news in the copter at the mo.
lady really sorry to hear that.

hope your both holding up ok in the circumstances

Very sorry to hear your news lady. It's not exactly fun being either of us right now, is it. to you. Guess we both have to get back in the saddle (so to speak!) when we're ready.

I'm posting the following on both threads.

Just wanted to give you all an update and say thank you to you all for your support over the last couple of days. RL friends and family have been amazing, and OH has been a rock, but knowing I had extra back up from women that have been through their own fertility issues was and is both strengthening and humbling. Still can't get over the fact that strangers online can connect in this way. So thank you.

I got home from the hospital yesterday and the decision has been taken to go down the 'expectant management' route - meaning that they're waiting to see if my hcg and progesterone levels go down every day, and scanning for any signs of rupture or internal bleeding. This can take up to six weeks, but judging from my levels so far, the consultant seems to think that if things go as they have been, this should be over in a week or so. My hcg levels on Friday were only 607, meaning the embryo had probably stopped developing early on, and this was proved by yesterday's hcg result of 300ish.

I don't know what I'm feeling, but there is a definite element of relief for now that if things go as they have been for the last 48 hours, I may have a tubal miscarriage. I never thought I'd find myself wishing for that.

What I do know is this: whichever way it goes, this experience - a week of joy followed by devastation - has made me more determined to get pregnant again. I know know that I'm ready to be a parent now in a way I didn't before.

ANYWAY, I hope that everyone resumes their lovely chatter soon. Looking at the threads just now, it seems everyone has gone very quiet, and I hope that's not on my count. I'll be leaving the copter and heading back to Berrie Hq again, but I plan to be back at the copter with better news in the coming months.

Sorry about the long post, just thought you all deserved some proper details. You're all so great. xxx

feather thank you for the update, I hope everything happens as easily as it can for you over the next week or so. We're saving both yours and lady's seats for your returns to the copter! My only advice is not to push yourself to feel better too soon, take the time to grieve and don't feel bad for having a right old wallow if that's what you need. Lots of to both of you, sure we'll still be popping into berry hq as well xxx

feather glad to hear from you and happy to hear you're getting plenty of RL support. Take time to heal and look after yourself. Hopefully you'll be back on copter soon (it's only 3 months since my last mc).

feather I think we've gone quiet because we're all still a bit numb from yours and lady's bad news. That's very considerate of you but we're all just concerned about you and lady right now. I echo boom's advice and suggest you take plenty of time to grieve be in in rl or on mn. Take care of you xxxx

lady - so sorry to hear about the chemical.

feather - thanks for the update, I hope everything goes OK (well, in the circumstances). You sound very strong, determined and resilient, even though you might not always feel it at the mo.

I hope you both get the pregnancies you more than deserve. xxx

Tick tock tick tock ah the 3.00am wake up! Anyone around?

No, but Husband Dearest woke me with his self-pitying snuffles at about 4am... Man flu alert!

Oh god I hope he's ok????

I've been AWOL this weekend after developing an abcess in my gum from a cut. Slight pain sat night turned into agony after 1 hours sleep and I spent the entire night walking around the living room. Was at the NHS walk in centre as soon as it opened but they refused to see me as it was 'dental'. Waited another 2 hours until the emergency dentist was open, who then suggested all I needed was antibiotics and the doctors should have given me some as it is clearly not tooth related. Anyway finally got some antibiotics yesterday morning but struggled all day yesterday with paracetamol doing nothing for the pain. Seems as though the high dose antibiotics are doing their job though as I was able to sleep last night thank goodness.
In the meantime I am normally a neurofen type person so was blown away that 32 paracetamol was only 69p. What are they made of, dust?? (Based on how much they didn't help with the pain i would say that was possible )

On another note, does anyone know when I am supposed to have the whooping cough jab? Midwife tells me nothing

boom one does not joke about man flu to their face
merkin sounds awful, thank god the antibiotics are working.

Between 28 & 38 weeks I think merk. Though I think they like you to have it before 35wks

boom documentary might help you and mr boom through the devastating effects of man flu. thank god you've got it early.

Kat flu jab is recommended because of the risks to baby if you get it whilst pregnant. It also passes some immunity to baby I think which lasts a short while after birth. I would advise it as you would regret not having it if you were unlucky and caught flu. As a perfectly healthy 22 year old I caught flu and was out of action for 2 weeks so it can happen. I am not a needle phone however the flu jab truly was not even a scratch in comparison to having blood taken. My arm was sore/bruised the next day but that was it. Feel sorry for you bing a needle phobe tho, not nice

Can we raise the debate about trimesters again please... When does the third tri start? I thought pregnancy was 266 days (38 weeks) which would make the third tri start just before 26 weeks. However if you count to 40 weeks the third tri would start just before 27 weeks. Are either of these right? I have now confused myself as I think my edd is for 40 weeks but I thought 38 weeks was term

I am not a needle phobe (or phone) in case you were wondering

Definately have the whooping cough jab kat its just horrific for babies if they have it and can cause brain damage or death. We have also had a really bad couple of years for it in this country. I had it 2 years ago and was off work for 2 months. That year was meant to be the 'spike' year for cases ( there is one every 3-4 years. The next year there were about twice as many cases again. I caught it from one sister, it really is stupidly contageous, I managed to pass it on to my other sister and a friend 3 weeks later when the doc said I would not be contagious anymore. We were not vaccinated as kids, but they are finding the vaccine gives different people different amounts of immunity and are changing the programme to include boosters ( they already go this in the states and oz) we are a bit behind. Needless to say with 2 months off I had plenty of time to read all about it. Sorry that was a long rely!

kat I agree that the flu jab is barely noticeable, just a shallow jab in the arm. I prepared myself for a nasty one but it was fine.

After full blown flu a few years back I have mine every year!

I have to have the flu jab as I'm also asthmatic. I've never had any problems with it, except maybe slight cold symptoms afterwards occasionally - and your arm hurts for a day or two afterwards. It's done very quickly if that helps...

Much better than the pneumonia or bronchitis that tends to follow if I have flu!