Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

ceara, glad it was just an awkward position. I think we've all had experiences like that and they are horribly anxiety provoking.

The germs thing is infuriating. Wait until some total arse brings their baby round to play with yours and then casually drops into conversation 'Yes Alice has had vomiting and diarhhoea for three days now, but she seemed a bit better this morning'. This happened to me when DD1 was about 18 months and we lost a week to norovirus. I was utterly furious.

shazz I'll not bellow at you today!

After five loooong days and nights I hope Ringlet is finally on the mend as she ate some tea tonight. She's very miserable, has regressed back to 100% breast feeding and will only sleep actually on me. Less coughing today though and I could put her down for anything up to five minutes without her dissolving into grief. I am keen to get back to the sleep training as this is Not Fun.

Funeral party frock has backfired as DD1 wants to wear it all the time whilst singing bellowing Disney inspired ballads about people dying, so I've had to hide it.

Weak and weary wave at everyone.

Morning all!

onion I'm still sniggering at the thought of DD1 singing death songs in her dress! Pleased to hear ringlett is a bit better. Hope you aren't feeling too drained

ceara sorry about the hospital trip but pleased to hear all is ok. Our hospital were lovely too when we had our pre term labour scare. They are good aren't they? How many weeks are you now?

shazz hope you are doing ok. Watched any movies in the hot tub pool yet?!

mrshy I hear you on the uggs. I'm so pleased my feet fit into my (faux) ones, as my other winter shoes don't fit. And they slip on, so no laces to do up! Hope mat leave us still going well.

noks hope you are feeling better and you managed not to beat to death with lemsip the bastard wat gave you the cold. I've been trying to avoid germ riddled people on the train. They must think I'm mental, as I scuttle away at the sight of their snot rags.

buz how you doing? Hope you are still feeling better.

motor some of ginster's movements make me feel sick, especially now she's pretty big.

Waves to everyone else. Hope all is going well for keep and kip.

I'm dragging myself through my last week of work! Have shit loads to do, but am too knackered (bloody pregnancy insomnia!) to work the long hours to get it done, so am now passing it all onto everyone else. Can't wait to be joining you ladies in some Geordie Shore watching

We have a growth scan tomorrow and I'm getting The Fear. It appears scan anxiety never goes away! At least I'll get to quiz them about ginster's position. After the scan we have a 3.5 hour antenatal hospital class. We're going with a belt and braces approach and hoping they'll be better than our nct ones, from which all I can remember is the teacher repeatedly shoving one of her plastic babies through a faux pelvis!

Morning ladies

Thanks onion for the respite. I know you ladies mean it in good humour but the texts and messages have started in RL and it's beginning to upset me. I'm not even 40 weeks yet. There are another 2 weeks to go before I need to make a decision about whether to induce or sit it out. Hypnobirthing teaches us to be patient and that the baby knows when to come but it's hard when people are constantly asking me (or my mum) if the baby has arrived. I know they mean well but it's not like I'm going to sit here with a new baby and not tell my family. Im in no rush and i want to remain calm and enjoy these last couple of weeks but I'm starting to feel the pressure of the 'advice' that well meaning family members are giving me to hurry things along. Anyway upset rant over. Sorry about that.

I'm afraid that I too am tickled pink by Dd1 singing her Disney death tunes although I'm wracking my musical theatre brain as to what they might be!

Gin good luck with the scan and fingers crossed that the Ginster has settled into the correct position. 3.5 hrs sounds like abit of a marathon session. At least we know how the baby comes through the pelvis if nothing else

Noks how did the birthday celebrations go?

Hello to everyone else. What news from up and down the country and further afield?

Hi all - glad to see so many are on mat leave or about to be very soon. ceara also glad that it was just positioning. onion I love your DD1's spirited character. Good to hear that Ringlet is recovering.

I managed to take Pangolina into work yesterday to show her off. Ended up staying too long and was v tired by the time we got home. She then slept from 7-12:30 am! (I decided to play along by going to bed at 8.) And then took ages to get back to sleep so I am still rather dozy this morning. It was nice to see my colleagues though, especially as I had no work to do while I was there!

I was wondering if any of the rest of you who are or have been breastfeeding have the same experience - when she latches on and the milk starts flowing I completely lose my appetite. It lasts for about an hour or so. I have noticed this because she often wakes up just when dinner is ready and I end up having to feed her at the table. Similarly I often feel my mood going down when I am bfing. This also wears off fairly quickly after she is finished. I have googled it and it is the hormones (again!) but I was just curious how common this is.

I hear you shazza. You need to relax and let nature take its course, and shazzlett will come in her own good time. Everybody just gets so excited, so the pestering is inevitable, but I hope you now get a break from it. X

Motor I know they mean well and are just excited. But I must admit to being short but sweet to a lovely friend who texted me at 7am on Monday morning to see if the baby had come over the weekend!

Shazz I hear you my lovely - I think as well that for us first timers who are planning a homebirth there's an added layer of worry/ annoyance about potential induction but as you've said, you're a long way away from that yet. It makes me wish that I'd never given anyone (family included!) a due date and had just said 'she'll be here in time for Christmas' as I'm sure I'll experience the same! xx

Aargh even my dad has just texted me! I need to relax about this otherwise I'm going to burst a blood vessel! Having said that I'm about to drink my first cup of raspberry leaf tea xx

fairy My DH is a feeder and I do object to having various edible objects stuffed in my face when I am breastfeeding. I know he means well, but I am only breastfeeding not starving on a deserted island. It's just wrong! Apart from that, no, I happily park my lunch on the BF pillow and multitask.
I did read about women who suffer from a low mood caused by let down reflex, it even has a fancy name, which I can't remember.

onion you could hire out DD1 as a funeral singer!

Someone told me, on this forum perhaps, to lie about your due date and add 2 weeks. Too late to do that now of course.

Bella woke up for an extra feed in the night and has been positively ravenous all idea. Today literally has been: eat, sleep, eat, sleep and repeat. I reckon there's some growing going on. I tried to give her some formula top up. She wouldn't have any of it! 'I know you have a spare boob mum!'

Bloody hell, 7am shazz? I'd have been mega cross and they'd have certainly not got a nice response from me. In fact I'm dreading getting those texts. My friends who have kids, have promised not to hassle me, so we shall see. I have told people the DD, but most can't remember and just have it as 'by Xmas' in their heads I think, hope, mrshy. Shazz, could you ask your mum to stop asking? It must be so tiring explaining time and time again that the 40 week thing is a bit of a fallacy. You know that shazzlet is nicely engaged and will come whenever she is ready. You're both nice and healthy (you looked super well last week!) and it's something you simply don't need to worry about or be pestered continually about.

fairy really interesting about BFing.

Can I ask those of you who are BFing, our nct teacher told us to feed the baby every 2-3 hours during the day, waking her up if needs be to feed. Is this right?! If the baby's sleeping, I'd be tempted to let her be...

I've never had those experiences with bf fairy but it's interesting. I'm usually hungry but that's because I'm trying to lose weight. I am down to my heaviest acceptable pre baby weight and I still look awfully flabby. It's got to be exercise from now on.

shazza it's really annoying. Hence me coming in here and bellowing at you all. You can't ignore it as then they think you're in labour and pester more. Short and sweet is probably the only way. But yes, do they expect you to reply 'Yes, had the baby last week, forgot to tell anyone!' I hope you are managing to relax despite it. Hope the raspberry leaf tea isn't too rotten tasting either.

dildals that sounds like a textbook growth spurt. It may go on for a few days - I'd accept the extra food.

gin in hindsight I would wake a baby and feed it at least every three hours in the day as that might encourage it to go longer at night. Often babies will just do as they damned well please though.

Speaking of which, Ringlet and I have had another bout of controlled crying today as she is a lot better. She cried for an hour and then I gave up and fed her. I was feeling very despondent about ever getting her to change her ways but I've decided another few days doesn't matter. We've got too much disruption to establish a new routine before Monday but from then on she's having all sleeps in her cot and I may even put her cot in her own room at last. I really want her in her own room as I'm going nuts from lack of sleep but at the same time I really love bedsharing with her. I feel it's been a lovely thing to have done even if she is a bit of a nightmare with the constant feeding. I'm really going to miss her being there. Although it'll be nice to have DH back who spends most nights in the spare room at the moment.

DD1 is inventing these Disney style ballads about death. Luckily she's been distracted by me sewing her nativity costume, so was boinging about being 'a star' today.

I will again recommend eBay for kids clothes. I've bought two immaculate thick cardies for DD1 for £3 each and a winter coat for Ringlet for £4. Marvellous. They are both far better dressed than I am.

Hi everyone just to say all is fab, and my milk is in and nipples sore... But I have just come back into hosp for the night as she's a bit jaundiced and that's policy. My mum and everyone else thinks its bonkers but you can't really go against advice. As for the 3 hour thing I probably would at this stage gin as they are almost always often sleeping and they need the food. Kip has lost the allowed 10% of birth weight almost exactly but hopefully now the milk is here she'll get heavier again. Have had the first chicken korma poo...

My fake uggs, as well as the hosp waiting room, are now covered in amniotic fluid :)

Right, gonna get some rest but will be back with my story when I get a chance. shaz I am a bit sick of telling people 37 weeks isn't prem. She looks like any full term baby and I think a fixation on 40 weeks is crazy. Hang in there, go dark, and good luck. X

So after a busy day out on Saturday we came home and thought we'd have a bit of a rest. I have been having braxton hicks contractions a lot for several months, and was getting more of these. I thought I'd have a bath to stop them, but while I was in the bath my waters broke and so we called the hospital and they told us to come in to be checked out even though my contractions were only just starting after my waters broke. By the time we were in the car the contractions were every 3 minutes or so, though not hugely painful. We got there and more of my waters broke in the waiting room. After I was examined they said I was just 3cm and without very strong contractions, and offered me the chance to go home and have a bath and paracetamol, or to go to the MW birth centre and basically do the same thing. As I felt the contractions had started very quickly and were getting more painful I decided not to go home.

The birth centre wouldn't give me anything except paracetamol or codydramol at that point and (very slowly) ran me a bath. I felt that the bath helped with the warmth, but I also felt I'd be better upright, and the contractions were getting quite a lot stronger. I went back to our room to ask for more drugs, but althoughnoone had examined me in 90 minutes they said I was still in early labour and wouldn't give gas and air yet. I was starting to get a bit stressed that this was early labour although I was having very quick strong contractions they didn't seem to notice. They then offered me an internal to see where we were but actually couldn't do it very easily as there was almost no break between contractions. Dh insisted they give me gas and air, and then the internal showed that I was fully dilatedand could start to push! I was very relieved as I'd been imaging potentially another 10 hours or something and had been about to ask for an epidural if they'd said I was 5 or so cm.

I was remembering nct's advice on letting the contractions do the pushing, especially as I was sure mine were doing a pretty good job as it had all been so fast. I gave birth on my knees leaning on the raised part of the bed - which was great for me if a bit hard on the MW's neck!

We wanted delayed cord clamping and the cord pulsed for over 20 mins, so we just did skin to skin, while I was in shock and shaking - I think from the speed of it all. After dh cut the cord we gave it a while for the placenta to deliver naturally but after 10 mins and a bit of pushing we decided to have the injection. A couple of grazes but no stitches. Afterwards I don't know if it was the gas and air or the injection or what, but I vomited quite a lot, then felt much better. So she was born just before 10pm, almost exactly four hours after my waters broke. We stayed in the birth centre till about 2.30 am before I went up to the ward and dh had to go home.

I have no idea why the labour was so short and they were all surprised it was my first baby. I think because it was short I wasn't too tired. I wished I had known earlier how fast things were progressing as it was a bit stressful thinking that transition was early labour... Obviously there was no time for the waterbirth, but overall it was an amazing experience for both of us.

Sorry I meant to post this before.

Though they are 'just' grazes, they are still vv painful. Am going to try using sudocrem on myself to aid healing.

Thanks for sharing your story keep, even though it was fast it sounds like a textbook labour and very uncomplicated! Am sure the grazes will heal quickly- did the MW suggest applying anything on them? X

keep that's quite an amazing birth story! You obviously have a super efficient uterus. Yes to Sudocreme for grazes, hope they heal soon. If it stings when you wee pour warm water over yourself at the same time.

Sorry you're back in but feeding really helps clear jaundice so now your milk's in you'll both be out in no time. Are they putting her under a lamp too? I'd ask for that if they're not. Lansinoh for sore nips too, hope she doesn't mangle you too much.

Congratulations again though!

Wow keep, your daughter doesn't hang about! That is one young lady who was clearly in a hurry to meet you and see the world. I'm so pleased for you that it was uncomplicated (though boo to the sore grazes) and all over so quickly, though I imagine it is pretty shocking, going from 37 weeks pregnant to newborn baby in such a short time.

Sorry that you are back in hospital, but good to know that they are taking good care of you both.

keep congrats on your labour, sound slike you did amazingly well. With dd1 I was having v thick and fast contractions despite being told I wasn't in early labour...despite being 5cm when they were eventually persuaded to examine me. Will def be pushing for a bit more examination this time I think. As the resident hippy I recommend lavender oil in a lukewarm bath for grazes...really good and gentle for healing bits and bobs, you can pick it up in health food shops or big boots etc. if you do that once a day it will heal nice and quickly...pouring warm water over yourself from a bottle (sports cap stylee) while you wee also helps.

onion dd has a repertoire of songs about a mermaid who lives in a cloud who wants her mummy to stay with her for ever and ever and ever. Eerie but cute!

dildals sounds like Bella is going through a growth spurt, she will be a lovely little bruiser by christmas!

shazza sorry you are feeling fed up with people. Since our nearly having babies episode a few weeks ago everyone is asking me too, idiots. I'm sure we'd all rather they waited until they were good and ready and healthy to arrive of their own accord. Do hope you don't have to go in to hosp if you have planned a hb though...are you able to be given the induction drugs and then go home again? In any case as you are so far apong if you don't have an epidural and everything goes to plan you should be allowed home quite soon after? Saw an amazing crocheted wreath and thought of you, have a look if you need distracting...attic24.typepad.com/weblog/2012/12/christmas-wreath-ta-dah.html

beetle have you tried a cushion between your knees, one in front of your bump and one behind uour back? A bit wedged in but helps me. Don't be afraid to demand physio if you need it, spd is rubbish.

gin my mw had me waking dd1 up every three hours to feed and I swear it didn't help in the long run...like onion I probably would do it in the day but only to try to get longer stretches as night.

mrsHY luggings (leggings and uggs, obvs) are my preggo uniform, I don't fit into anhing else. Mum lives in Aus so sends me real uggs in the pist as they are much cheaper out there and I thoroughly enjoy squeaking my way around sainsburys in them looking like a loser, I don't give a shit any more as long as I am comfy!

Had our 32 week scan yesterday...all good with both! Twin1 is average siE for a baby (ie big for a twin) and twin 2 is two weeks ahead...must be all the maize! Lovely amazing consultant was so chuffed she clapped and did a little jig. Apparently this means they may stay in for a while...I will be induced the week before christmas if not. Very strange for things to be going well for once but it does make it all worthwhile. I am now carrying 7lbs in total of baby but have only put on 7lbs in the whole pregnancy...how wrong is it that I am now wondering how thin I will be after giving birth? Not usually too fussed about my weight but am on the curvy side of womanly, it might be nice to be thin for a bit for a change, I feel as though I deserve it for eight months of daily vomiting.

Re the breastfeeding debate....well its just another way to make me feel awful and guilty for not being able to bf :-(

Just a thought keep if you do go with the lavender oil DON'T rub it on your skin...needs to be very diluted to do any good or will hurt...

shazza sorry about the pressure, I would tell family to stop, you don't need the stress right now, the others I would ignore, they can wait and be told when it has happened,

crisp We had bf nct class last night, she was great and said that she does not like the 'breast is best' attitude, she said it is not for everyone, I wouldn't be if I was having twins

gin we were told the same last night in the class, she said every 2-3 hours as they get dehydrated so quickly due to having such tiny little marble size stomachs, dehydrated babies sleep more and then become even more dehydrated if left to sleep, she did say in some culture that women just stay in bed and feed the baby for 40 days sounds good to me,
Barry is really getting into this now and is thinking about what he can batch cook/freeze and realises that cooking/light cleaning will mainly fall to him in the first few weeks, also pacifying the cat who has become rather clingy
She did talk about expressing/formula at 6 weeks for the night feed, if I feel totally shattered unlike now then I would consider that so I could rest more pretend I am human

keep thanks for sharing your story, the great to actually hear a real experience. At least they were fake UGGs :)

onion I hope ringlet gets into a routine soon, its difficult when so much else is going on

beetle I bought a special pillow but haven't used it much, I found it a bit of a pain to move in bed with it, I just used a pillow that fitted between my knees and under my bump, I don't use anything now, the pain did subside but I'm still seeing the physio next week about it, but its difficult when you can't get comfy, mine lasted about a month then started to get better

ceara glad all was ok :)

Well I am struggling with 6 hour days at work, determind to try and see this week out but don't see myself lasting till xmas, I might have to bring my mat leave a week forward, I really just cannot concentrate when I am there, don't really care anymore, I don't think they'll have my replacement ready in time anyway

keep wow, that's so quick given it was your first! No wonder you vomited afterward, you must have been swimming in adrenalin. With me also the MW said that I had just started active labour and I was terrified at the thought of 7 more hours of what were already extremely strong and fast contractions. Luckily they were wrong.

You are probably sore also from the pressure on the perineum, which is immense. I found that taking ibuprofen along with paracetamol the most effective at pain reduction because the former reduces swelling as well. Isn't the uterus an amazing organ? I can't believe how powerful it is, particularly when you think it is 'normally' the size of a pear.

beetle definitely get a mattress topper. We only had a crap thin mattress on the floor when I was pg with DS1 and I had an acheing hip like yours. Now we have the same mattress but with a memory foam topper and a frame and it is so much better.

gin my MW told me to wake Pangolina if she slept more than 3 hrs to feed her but this was just the first week when establishing milk supply and keeping her going was the main concern. Now at night I would let her sleep but during the day she doesn't ever sleep more than 3 hours anyway.

buzzy you have my sympathies re work. I really couldn't concentrate the last couple of weeks, I just hope I didn't leave any really obvious nonsense in my files for my replacement.

dildals you are right re fancy name - apparently I have "dysphoric milk ejection reflex" or "DMER" for short . There's even a website about it. It manifests in some women because they are sensitive for some reason to the drop in dopamine levels that precedes milk production. It really does feel like a tide is going out in my mind although it is entirely physiological and not PND or depression.

DH and I took Pangolina to her first film today (Gravity - I thought it was great, shazza but you didn't?) and it was a special showing our local cinema does for parents with babies. It was totally bizarre looking around the cinema and seeing all these babies staring at the screen. Pangolina snoozed the whole time so I don't think it counts as her first film.

crisps forgot to say congrats on the positive scan and the big twins! You'll have a lovely Christmas present if all goes to plan.

fairy that's the one. I came across that website at one of my middle of the night googling sessions.

Shazz I am nowadays inclined to text people in the middle of the night because I am feeding Bella. I will stop assuming people put their phones on silent during the night!! :-)

keep sounds like a fab birth, you are obviously a natural at this birthing malarkey! It is a massive experience isn't it. I like your comment 'go dark', it made me laugh. MWs seem to not be very good to recognise when someone is actually in labour ... they didn't check me for over 24hrs and thought I wasn't in labour. I do wonder sometimes... The grazes. Yes. They last a while.

crisps well done, must be all the maize snacks fo sho. I bet you are holding out for that Debenhams vouchers incentive for breastfeeding ... STOP FEELING GUILTY YOU SILLY WOMAN! You have fed these babies for the last 32 weeks, loved and nurtured them, fed them the best maize based snacks Aldi and Greggs have to offer, and when they drop out of your lavender scented faloola you will feed, love and nurture them again, and whether that is breast or bottle doesn't really matter!

My mum is over. She is organising my cupboards. I fully expect all my tshirts to be sorted by colour in about 20 mins time.