Preggo Rage.

[ladymalfoy]

Husband eating too load for my liking. He's keeping his mouth closed but eating very quickly and just making way too much noise. I really want to scream and yell at him to stfu but I know its hormones. And he's talking too loud. I'm so close to meltdown.

Frouby - prepare for this 2 weeks to feel like 2 years. At the risk of sounding like every other smug twat - it really is worth it lol.

Ontherun - HOW can you stand that?! My pil come round for half an hour only every day and I'm considering divorce just to get them out of my life.

I'm starting bad habits feeding him to sleep. He's a week old you fucking evil witch, no I can't let him cry for an hour to 'self sooth'. You had kids 30 years ago, with y

Oops, with your failing memory how can you remember anyway? Maybe that's why dh and his sister are such clingy weird adults if that's how you did it.

I should have given him a bath by now. Nope, he's had a few top and tail washes and that pissed him enough. I left his vernix on him for days ON PURPOSE as it's nice and moisturing and none of us felt like washing, we were perfectly happy in bed together being stinky and lazy.

I should have gone against my midwive's advice (the 2 of them combined have over 40 years of birthing experience) and had stitches. Yes it sucks I'm on bed rest for 3 weeks but as they said 'it's the first child and dh is home, it's a big tear and will knit better if it heals on it's own to why not take advantage and do it that way'.

If they say one more time that it's silly I'm not up and about and to just have them I will get a restraining order.

Encapsulating my placenta is wrong and disgusting. You may be right, you may be wrong but it's my placenta, my choice. I think you're wrong and disgusting just for the record but you're hanging around like a fart in a spacesuit never the less.

Fucking auto correct - *midwifes

Jesus. * midwives

Oh BM nice to see you haven't lost your rage. I am waiting for my FIL to turn up pissed with his latest g/f in tow (he is 67 and should know better) unannounced with something completely inappropriate for the baby (like a ride on truck or something thats come from a car boot), want to hold the baby and breath beer breath on him, drink a cup of tea, ask to borrow £20 and fuck off again for months.

No love lost between us. The man is a parasite.

My mum knows better than to interfere after she interfered 9 years ago when DD was a baby.

Today I am very, very hormonal and alternating between rage and tears. I have assembled a bouncy/vibrating chair for the baby, a new hoover and linked up the new printer to the computer.

The new printer very nearly followed the old one in the bin. Bastard thing wouldn't connect up.

I am tired, I ache, I feel stressed and DP is a wanker. He got pissed yesterday, snored all night and every time I woke him up for snoring he tried to cuddle me. Stupid fucker never learns. I hit him on the head in the end (accidently on purpose you see) with the remote and he stomped downstairs to the sofa. And then annoyed me even more as I could hear him letting the dog in the room with him, putting the fire on and the TV downstairs. Bastard.

We are going to TGI Fridays with DD for a treat later. Its her favourite place to go. Trouble is the nearest one to us is in the middle of a huge shopping centre and its the 1st of December. It will be heaving with knobheads to annoy me.

Cheerful, happy shopping fuckers.

Fucking SIL at family meal last night.
Poking fun at my accent,my painted nails ( on mat leave but too much time on my hands)
And finally, telling everyone several times that her favourite film is Jack and Sarah. Because it's really sad when the mother dies. I'm 36 weeks.
She's a bitch.

Bummy I'm not sure which is worse - pils every day or pils for a week at a time. Mine live about a thousand miles away so at least I only have to suffer their polite disapproval a few times a year. I can forget they exist the rest of the time.

My own mother on the other hand... Actually let's not go there, I'm depressed enough.

My rage lasted ages after ds was born. I gave myself a sprained wrist when he was five months old because I gave the wall outside the back door a good thrashing with a large stick. Bastard mobile phone company's fault.

I don't know what's going on with me. The last few days I have been totally unreasonable. Arguing over anything and everything. I'm usually quite a skilled arguer (is that a word? It is now! )...when I've got a bloody point but arguing without a solid reason is a bit scary. Wish I could stop. Having said that. ..just looking at his face makes me want to lash out.

I love love love this thread. I laughed so hard, I wee'd myself at work! I wish my DH would stop farting in his sleep - three nights in a row now the stupid bugger has let off such a stench that I've woken up with my eyes bleeding. Then I lie awake the rest of the night with that nasty smell hanging around the bedclothes and I.WANT.TO.FUCKING.KILL.HIM.

And my MIL - stop fucking touching my stomach. Just stop it. I don't care if you gave birth to my husband, I will punch your irritating fucking face.

And my mother - STOP sending me texts asking how "we" are. I am feeling like shit, thanks. And how exactly the fuck do you expect me to know how the baby is feeling today?

And DH again - stop fucking telling me to stop swearing you irritating fucker. I don't care that you think the baby will hear me. I need to vent my rage and the Fuck word is the best way for me to do that. So fuck off.

And people on the train - don't just sit there and stare at me, while I am standing there with my obviously pregnant belly and that cringingly embarrassing badge that DH insists I wear and then just ignore me. Yes I want your seat you stupid fucker.

And my father, who thinks it's appropriate to tell me that I look fat. Cheers for that you shithead.

Phew! That feels good!

Bubblegum My ds, age 20 months, said fuck today. I'm fairly sure it was entirely my fault.

In other news...

THEY'RE GOOOOOONE!!!!!

Thank the fucking lord!!!!!!!

No more FIL sitting around like a useless bloody lump expecting to be waited on hand and foot. No more MIL tutting and sighing over the general state of (un)cleanliness of my house. No more fucking people in my bathroom, clogging the place up, drinking endless cups of tea so there is never a clean cup when I want one, raising eyebrows at ds's sleeping habits, and not letting him climb on anything, or do anything fun, ever.

And apparently, they're not sure they want to come "all the way back" to visit after the baby's born . Frankly, I couldn't give a fuck, but not wanting to come and see your own grandchild? Really?

Then they complain that ds has such a great relationship with my parents (Graggy and Paw-Paw ) and doesn't even know their names . My mother and I have our issues, but she makes a huge effort to have a good relationship with her grandchildren. They waltz in and expect a one-and-a-half year old to adore them without any effort on their part.

Grrrrrrrrr.

But still, THEY'RE GONE!!!!!!!!

ugh, I'm 39 weeks. I don't know why they give us a due date, he's obviously going to turn up when he's ready. I'm furious at my body for hurting in loads of different places and not giving me any clear sign as to when he's ready to arrive. I've stopped going to the local shop or seeing people because they all say the same thing every.single.time; 'still pregnant?' 'haven't popped yet?'. No, I have, I've left my new baby at home and I'm wandering around in a fat suit because I love being this size.
And why can't i sleep for more than forty minutes at a time at night before something hurts or my bladder fills up, yet i can sleep for four hours during the day?
And why does everyone condescend me with their 'ooh, enjoy the peace while you can, because you won't get any for the next 30 years!'. Fuck off!

why do people need to comment on my size fuck right off! im 32 weeks and measuring small
asking me if im sure its not twins just makes you look stupid when i point that out.
grrr i get v irritated at the moment

I'm 34 weeks. I think I need a filling. That's winding me up. I don't have a dentist. That's pissing me off.

I'm 2-3cm dilated, but the mw can't tell me how long i'll be waiting. I'm losing my plug, but same issue. I can't tell if i'm leaking water or if it's just regular discharge. I'm smelling my knickers, but it all smells like sweaty crotch. The glamour.

I've got the rage with chicken pox, my son has it and it sucks

And my boss's wife (who is normally lovely) telling me that the reason why people weren't offering me a seat on the tube is because "fat people look like that".

FUCK OFF.

Why on earth do people think that just because a woman is pregnant it is suddenly appropriate to comment on her size???

Everyone tells me I'm enormous. I'm a size eight when not pregnant, and I'm in 8-10 maternity clothes, and I'm all bump and hips. Then they tell me they barely showed when they were pregnant because they have such great stomach muscles.

No love, you 'barely showed' compared to me because you're 5'10 and I'm 5'2. And when you're a size 18 to start with, it takes a while for a foetus to make a difference.

I feel like a whale anyway waddling around with my stupid bloody crutches. Thanks for giving my self-esteem a helping hand on its way out the door.

Love this thread. Im 31 weeks and am finding myself shouting out the car window at dicks who cut me up.

Also have the rage at dm who has only bought me one christmas present this year - a fucking size 12-14 onesie I have no hope in getting into until next bloody Christmas. She's even cut the tag off ffs. And yes, I opened it early just to see if she had got it even when told not to. Need to manage my expectations!

Also to the woman at work looking down her nose at me for going on maternity at xmas, so what if you worked right up until you dropped? More fool you, now piss off.

Lol ontherun, I'm glad they're gone.

My mil told me the other day I was being an overbearing Mother and spoiling dh because I wouldn't let her have him for the day while I went shopping. And because I feed him to sleep.

HE'S TWO FUCKING WEEKS OLD YOU EVIL HARRIDAN.

I was rude to her for the first time ever and said "it'll be quite some time before you get to have him alone" then didn't talk to her for the rest of the visit.

They've gone to Sweden for two weeks. I hope all the planes break and they can't come back for 6 years.

Talking of weight, my MOTHER sent a reply to a lovely (I thought) email of me and ds looking all gooey and cuddly and she told me I've put on way too much weight and I'm not carrying it well.

I'm meant to be going to the UK in January to see everyone but if I'm going to get comments like that I'd rather not the miserable, insensitive cow.

Obviously I meant ds not dh in that post lol.

bloody hell BM, your MIL is a nasty piece of work, and your mom doesn't sound much better at the moment!!

Dear DH,

Is it too much to ask that, when I take ds out for the whole of Saturday morning, I don't then come home to find the same mountain of housework as when I left? In two hours time we are getting in the car to go away overnight. Nothing has been packed. The house is a state. There is no lunch to eat. The Christmas presents (for your family) that we will be dropping off on the way have not been wrapped.

I have been on my feet and running around after a toddler all sodding morning. I am in pain. I honestly didn't think it was possible to be in this much discomfort and not die.

I will be lying on the sofa for the next half hour while you wash up and make my lunch. Do not over-season it or I will put itching powder in your pant drawer.

Love and kisses, OnTheRun xxx

Oh, and your mil sounds like hell on a stick bm.

Tell her you plan on feeding ds to sleep until he is 10, and that you will be telling all her friends about it. Then tell her to go boil her head.

Arf. Maybe that's what to do. Instead of smiling sweetly or being aggressive ( neither of which work) I should just start saying ridiculous stuff.

Ontherun - you need to tell dh he's being a bastard. Doesn't crying work?

My dh is really irritating me. I'm trying to avoid rage as it's started to give me headaches. :(

The worst thing is that ds feeds EVERY HOUR. Which is amazing from everyone else's point of view as he was way above his birth weight before two weeks but can be a bit much at night time as I'm lucky to get 2 hours broken sleep. Dh's lumpy, annoying face snoring away next to me for hours sends me into orbit.

I just wish he'd fuck off into another room. Add to that the fact the the dog and at least 2 cats are always snoring away on the bed too and I suddenly need some Valium.

I nearly attacked a bastardized snowman/santa today outside morrisons.

Shook his collection tin at me whilst giving DD a lolly. Some save the llamas bollocks or something. Declined on the basis I only had my trolley quid.

Came out with DD still sucking lolly and the melty fuckface shook his tin at me again. Still got my only coin in my trolley and no I won't walk back down to here with trolley to give you the quid. Fuck off and melt.

And as for you DP. You are top of the shitlist. You still haven't had my car repaired. Contrary to what you think I am not too big to drive. Just because I asked you to reverse off the drive because you had parked at a bizarre angle doesn't mean I will crash the car.

I have 6 days to elcs and it can't come quick enough.

Dear Fuckweasel at the supermarket carpark,
Just because you have a penis and a 4wd does not mean you own the road. Move over you gormless turd or ill key your shiny wankmobile.
Grrr!

Growl grrrr bah hmf snarl. (Sorry, just needed to get that out somewhere safe).