PG after MC? Posifrickitivity and handholding aplenty

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Hello again - another shiny new thread for the batsh*t crazy women going through the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is being pregnant after a miscarriage.

Fingers crossed for lots of happy scans and boring pregnancies.

fod nothing else to add but do keep talking, you need to get it out of your system and we are here to listen

hypnobirthing anyone looking into this? a friend is really into the Marie Mongan book and cd but it sounds a bit American to me and apparently is quite disparaging of pain relief. I'm interested in hypno but don't want something that's going to make me feel crappy if things don't end up going to plan (again). looking at the Maggie Howell stuff now but confused by all options on amazon

Fod if you friend is leaving because he feels he hasnt been supported and cant do the job any more, constructive dismissal may cover this.
Please take this seriously and dont be fobbed off with excuses and half measures. You have lots of rights as a pg person. Dont let them get you down, get on the case and give them hell!

saggy how did it go today?

Thanks so much girls!! I do intend to fight this, DH wants me to see the Dr tomorrow morning as I spent all day in bed he's worried that my blood pressure had taken a hit, he also said to refuse to teach anything unless my risk assessment has been carried out as they are in breach of contract etc he also really put things into perspective and said " if we lost this baby you would always wonder if it was because of work" he says I should fight it too. I may go in after my Drs appointment and if there's still nothing in place go home

Fod I hope Pixie will confirm if I say that when PG you have all the rules on your side.
And I agree with your DP. Dont let this affect your pg. Get arsey!

I'm with your dh there fod, one thing i have learnt with each miscarriage I have found something to blame, be it the pregnacare tablets I took the day before I started bleeding or the double pushchair I had to push up the steep hill. There is always a reason and guilt deserved or not is a heavy burden to carry.

If work aren't doing the job properly, if they are putting you and baby at risk, fight it x

it didnt really go today. They were both pleasant enough if you discount the fact that MIL is a grumpy old sod anyway. The baby wasnt mentioned.

pixie I'm hypno birthing this time round and went for the Maggie Howell book and CD as I thought the other would be too 'American' for me. I am hopeful that it will help me get through the early stages but am still a bit sceptical tbh, listening every night now so will let you know how it goes

fod sorry you are having such a tough time, no advice sorry other than to look after yourself and put you and your baby first....no company will ever put you before the profits

saggy the baby wasn't mentioned Sadly sounds like my in laws, unbelievable But I always think rather nothing than a bad comment, glad you got thru it

Pixie I'm also giving the hypno birthing a go. Starting to listen to the cd every night from here on in. I have the mongan book and cd, I agree it is very American so I also got the Maggie Howell cd so not sure which one I'll listen to, prob the Howell one from now on as it's less annoying. One funny thing is that dh called it 'herbal' birthing!! Poor dh! I laughed in his face hahaha

Shell has your dh listened to it or does he have any insight into what it's about?

I'm also planning hypno birthing this time, I'll be asking for recommendations when I'm looking to buy a cd and book.

Saggy I'm sorry they didn't mention it, at a time when you want to get excited and talk about it with grandparents, they snub the pregnancy. I'm so sorry they're being like this

Thanks sooo much ladies! I think your right I need to take stock of what's important and not let the bastards drag me down ;(

Saggy it may have been a blessing in disguise, if it's not mentioned she can't upset you... Perhaps someone's had a little word in her ear and she's slowly coming round?

I doubt it Fod, they dont work like that! I dont care overly. Ive got plenty of people to get excited with. MIL often doesn't approve of my ideas. I dont take much notice!

Sounds like a nightmare fod, hope you get it sorted. Everyone I know that works in education is miserable at the moment, clearly there is a lot wrong with the system.

Thanks for the coat tips, I've ordered a few from various places on t'internet and will have a big trying on session when they arrive!

Is anyone else struggling with swallowing the pregnacare plus oil capsules? I find it really hard, just got one stuck sideways for 10 minutes and was seriously considering sticking my fingers down my throat. Not good when I've only eaten one meal all day due to serious nausea.

janie after reading the book I wrote my own birth script so it has personal triggers that I think will help me, talks abt things I'm scared of after my first labour and less of the stuff I found a bit out there! The advice in the book was to have your birth partner record it and talk about hearing his voice, feeling his touch etc. so that just these things would act as a trigger when in labour....and he did! And it is so good, very professional (we got some hypno music off the internet ) we laughed loads at first but I think it is a lot better (more applicable to me personally) than the proper CD.

We are going to start trying practising the breathing techniques/back massages soon and I will do him a list of the triggers he could use so that he knows how to help me when in labour but he hasn't and won't read the book or anything like that.

Have you done anything together yet?

I have used the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs before both my labours and found them helpful. Didn't really have DH on board as he's not into "hippy yoghurt knitting" but they gave me a lovely snooze every day whilst I was on mat leave and I had good birth experiences (7 hours with DS1, water birth, just G+A for the last bit. DS2 arrived in a big rush in 2 hours and only about 10 mins after we got to hospital, I was so calm they didn't believe how far on I was [embarrassed] )

Fod glad your DH is backing you up. They haven't a leg to stand on messing with a pregnant person!

or even

Oh shell that's great! There was a free hypno birthing info session and I took dh along (no way could we afford the £300 course) but it did give him a good insight to what it was about and he even asked a few questions. My yoga teacher is talking about having a session with our partners which would be good for massage tips and breathing etc but it hasn't been confirmed. I need to knuckle down and get into it properly again, I read the book a bit hastily about 2 months ago so time to get on it again :) thanks for the tips girls x

Thanks baking I've just had a message on fb from a ex student that has also overheard colleagues slagging me off and she was so concerned that she messaged to see if I was ok! This is pretty bad!

Fod you need to note all of this down and keep a record.

Thanks saggy I thought that too

fod that is shocking, can't believe an ex student messaged you. How unprofessional of your stupid colleagues.

Really hope you can get a good nights sleep x

Fod- already some v good advice here. As saggy said, keep evidence of anything and everything you can find. You could also ask for (in writing) the reasons why you were overlooked for promotion?

Pixie-
I followed the advice of these lovely ladies here, and got the Maggie Howell. Just the book and 1 cd. It's really relaxing, so much so it keeps sending me to sleep! My DH is totally not into it, but to be honest for us it would be weird to me if he was saying 'triggers' etc, I would rather get jn the zone on my own. So we are just changing it to do what works for us. I need to start listening to it again, got a bit freaked about the whole 'large baby/c section' thing and ignored everything to do with birth, but as only got 5 weeks to go now, need to start paying attention again!

Respect to you all considering hypno birthing. I just can't imagine ever being able to get in the zone. Last time I just got through the early stages playing top trumps and then writhing around counting outloud knowing that if I could get to 30 I'd have a few minutes of respite!

fod what saggy said- pregnant women are the most protected people in the workplace basically. Good luck with progressing things. I can never get over how grown up professional people can act so childishly and cause so much damage and hurt sometimes

nice to see another hr person!

Thanks for all the hypnobirth tips ladies, think I will get an order in for the Howell book and cd. DH is a massive sceptic but I think if like one of you recommended I adapt it for me it is worth a go. Also DH is well known for completely taking the piss but actually taking things seriously at the point it really matters. If nothing else we will have a good giggle I only had contractions for about 6 hours last time and was coping fine until they told me I needed a section at which point I panicked and suddenly the pain seemed loads worse, so I do think if I stay calm I can manage for longer. The worst pain I have ever known was a kidney infection and the worst part of that again was not understanding what was happening to me, as soon as I knew why I was in so much pain and calmed down I was much better able to cope. So although I think it depends entirely on circumstances on the day like baby position etc I think getting into a positive head space can't hurt

tomkat at top trumps, other parts of my birth plan involve saving the last series of 30 rock and playing scrabble on the iPad