PG after MC? Posifrickitivity and handholding aplenty

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Hello again - another shiny new thread for the batsh*t crazy women going through the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is being pregnant after a miscarriage.

Fingers crossed for lots of happy scans and boring pregnancies.

Im really not worrying anymore, much Im calm now. Im having a new daughter.

Congratulations Saggy! Got some "pink" names in mind?

Emily, Madeleine, Gabriel(la), Janie, Jennie, Lizzie, Milly, Tilly Bagpuss ?

DD and I like Eve, DP likes Olivia.

Ooh, a lovely little girl Saggy! Some good name picks there too!

Yay for 12 weeks kjh - hope the wait until Friday isn't too stressful.

Also, hi me - welcome to the thread, where paranoia is a way of life!

Nothing exciting here, just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. All my wires seem to be crossed and I can't tell what my digestive system is trying to tell me any more.

Yay saggy, team pink. Love your name! So glad everything is well and there are no other problems xx

Oh tins 'Janie' is obviously a super choice

Welcome me!

Ooh saggy a little girl lovely! We don't know the flavour, I'm still convinced its a boy though. Need to prepare my head for a pinky in case though!!

Oooh saggy a little pink one! how lovely. Everyone seems to be having girls

Snot I am with you on the not sure what my digestive system is saying any more :( I can feel the heartburn kicking in too. Luckily I have a massive box of chalk rennie sat in the cupboard :(

Hi me, lovely to have you here :)

Saggy! Yey! A baby girl! I'm welling up on you behalf.

Lovely news saggy, and great that there are no other issues to worry about.

I had a dream that I had a baby girl last night, with lots of dark hair (I blame that Johnson's advert). The best thing was that instead of crying she just said "hungry" or "tired" or "nappy" - ha! Wishful thinking from my subconscious on so many levels!

Congratulations saggy a lovely baby girl!

I'm having strange stabbing in my right ovary (or thereabouts). Not particularly strong but fairly regular. Ideas anyone?

kjh what a milestone!!!!! Well done you!!!
Saggy oooo a girl!!! Awwwww prepare yourself for stroppy central ;)

Love Olivia btw xxx

I spent today trying to sneak out trumps whilst teaching.... Unfortunately they were stinky too!! The glamour of pregnancy! It looks as though a colleague of mine is out to steal my classroom support that I requested due to pregnancy because... I quote "she needs him with her and why is he in with you anyway!" So my line manager and HR (who are both aware of my previous mc) have received a very angry email

Congrats on having a pink one saggy Our girls name is Evie (we don't know the sex either janie but I'm convinced it's a boy too)

I feel your pain pixie I'm so limited with what I can do with DS now I feel so guilty and cry most days tbh and I get upset thinking that he just wont love being with me as much anymore it's horrible isn't it BUUUUT it's all for the best reason and they won't remember, but will love their little bro or sis

fod snap since being on the iron tabs it's awful and sooo loud TMI but the piles are back too, got them after DS birth and they are back now prob till after the birth....niiiiice

I'm with you too pixie and shell - I freaked out the other day about how hard it is going to be with 2 and that we keep saying to DD that she has to be a big girl and behave better etc. - I'm all over emotional and think we are making her grow up too fast :( and I have the guilt too for not being fun and always being tired and grumpy.

Also, I'm beginning to regret not starting my maternity leave till 38 weeks - I feel like I may explode soon - this baby must be 10lbs already - when she turns round everything feels so tight it's like she's going to pop out - I'm sure DD was not like this!

Hi kjh, fellow 12 weeker! I've got my 12 (and a half) week scan on Wednesday. Totally wetting myself about it.

fod I sneak them out whilst walking down hospital corridors. If one gets too 'lively', I look outraged at the nearest person I pass as if it's their's (ha!)

My (male) workmate is off today because his partner has had a miscarriage at the weekend. I feel so sad for him, and for her, and also very selfishly for me. I didn't cry much (once) at the time I lost ours, partly because I was just too shocked and just 'getting through it' at the time. Now I feel like I've just been told it's happened to us again (there appears to be no bounds to my utter self-centeredness today), and want to howl and wail a bit at the utter unfairness of it. It feels like miscarriage happens to everyone, that I'm going to turn up on Wednesday and they'll tell me it's not alive (again), and I don't know how to do this again. The first time I didn't know how much it'd still be hurting, so my naivety got me through. Now I know just what it'll feel like, I am scared I'm going to go through it again.

I still miss it, and I feel like I'm only meant to feel happy that I'm pregnant again. The people we've told just look pleased because now it's all 'fixed'. I haven't spoken to many RL friend about how bad I felt (because clearly I'd rather save that for 30 total strangers ), but I feel like everyone just wants it forgotten double quick. I must be happy, or I wouldn't wake up every day scared (if that makes sense). But then, I also feel like I won't let myself feel anything for this one. I feel like I don't want this one, I wanted the other one. The one that I dreamed about, and thought of all day long, and laughed about. I feel traitorous having this one instead of that one.

I also feel I should be sacked from the posi-frickin-tivity thread, and banished to start my own still-whining-on-about-it thread. Sorry guys. I am officially a moany old bag.

Also having bit of a stress about coping with 2. I'm 33 weeks now and DS has been so challenging this last week.

Congrats on the girl Saggy :) welcome to the pink side. Booked my flu jab now for Monday. Has anyone's midwife gp etc spoke about it. Is there any risks to the baby? So scarred of anything happening.

I had my flu jab today - and as long as you don't get the FluMist the risks are very low. Certainly lower than the risks of getting the flu itself.

I sympathize with those who are expecting number 2 and wondering how they'll cope. I felt the same way. I was absolutely desperate to have a sibling for my daughter, and had gone through 3 losses at that point, so I just wanted this baby to be here. But the day the midwife called to suggest induction due to my son's estimated size, I sobbed. My
daughter had been with her nanny all day and all of a sudden there was going to be no more "me and my little girl" time. I cried all the way to the hospital and even told my husband that I wasn't sure I wanted the baby.

Fast forward 2 years and every time I look at my children playing together my heart sings. Every crappy parenting moment I've had, every time we get dirty looks in restaurants because of how "high spirited" my little monkeys are, every time dinner has been soup and a banana because I'm too bloody tired to make anything else - nothing takes the shone off those moments.

You will all be fine!

Oh Tea what you wrote about the one you dreamt and laughed about is so sweet. We've all been there and felt that. I think most of us were a bit detached to protect ourselves probably until after the 20 wk scan when it all seems a little more possible. Big hugs xxx

Saggy; beautiful pink baby. Eeek! You could always call her Kitty?! Cute!

...we have yet to do names, should pull our fingers out really but it seems so much harder this time round!

Thanks Garden. Roll on 20 weeks, then.

Saggy, when I was a week off giving birth to number 2 (pink), my hormones clearly ate what was left of my pregnant brain, and I decided that 'Boadicea Bunny (Surname)' would be a great idea, rather than the 10 nice, sensible names we had listed. I thought it was so sweet that I cried with happiness for two solid days. I'm not sure which part of reality my brain had lost touch with - clearly most of it - but my only naming tip would be pick now, pick early, then don't waver. At all. For any reason. (Thankfully delivery of the placenta appeared to restore normal function, and she got called Beatrice Poppy, which is, I feel, a slight improvement).

Tbh I just think that anything has to be better than being pregnant (I have PGP and am pretty immobile) so am not really worrying abt looking after two...I'm sure I'll be back once this is a distant memory going mad with the stress of two kids

Tea! I was wondering how you were getting on. Sounds like you have had a tough day - in a way this scan week is the hardest because we know the worst that can happen - also I have noticed that my emotions are suddenly all over the place and I don't think that helps with the scan doom.

I've cried three times today for no reason - started sobbing on the train on the way into work because I was imagining what DH's face would look like just after I'd had the baby (friend gave birth last night hence the hopeful daydreams). The people sitting around me prob thought I was a lunatic!

I'm finding the Today I Am Pregnant mantra very helpful as well as the ongoing morning sickness (which had all but disappeared at the beginning of last week) and exhaustion as a positive sign. Not too much longer for you to go Tea hang in there and I'm sure everything is going to be fine xx

Saggy I love your names :) Also have a feeling mine is a girl (everyone around me has had boys in the past year). I think we'll def find out if we can though

anglo thank you, that is exactly what I need to hear. And thanks others for making me feel less like a crazy lady. I think up until now I haven't really thought there would be a baby at the end of this, but as the kicks get harder and the bump gets bigger it is getting more real and I'm scared. I saw my friend with her 3yo and 8wk baby at the weekend, and the feeding is relentless and she is being so stoic and calm and good with her 3yo whilst continually holding/feeding baby and I just thought how on earth will I manage that if I can't be happy and reasonable with DD while the baby is inside?! I feel like all my delivery, feeding, and coping worries are heaping on top of each other and I'm just thinking for all my hopes of a smoother 2nd time round it could all turn out to be a complete nightmare again. Must focus beyond the first year to when they can play together(!)

tea I relate so much to everyone thinking things are 'fixed' because you're pregnant again. It was my due date a couple of weeks ago and I mentioned it to a few friends in the weeks before hoping for a bit of understanding and everyone was a bit 'oh well, bittersweet, but hey it's all good now'. I find myself telling random people about the mc when they ask about this pregnancy just because I need it to be acknowledged, it's been part of this journey and makes it a lot harder, whereas when I had the mc I told barely anyone and was back in work as if nothing had happened a fortnight later. I think it truly is one of those things you just can't relate to unless it happens to you. I also relate to feeling like miscarriage/losing babies is normal - when we heard that friends had lost a baby at birth the other week I wasn't shocked, just terribly sad, and I thought maybe that was a sign there was something wrong with me but I think it's just because I know what can go wrong and worry about all these things, and don't necessarily expect a happy ending. I miss the more optimistic Pixie of my first pregnancy

Anglo you got me bawling again! Totally wish I was having twins now ;)

Pixie think you've hit the nail on the head - people who haven't been through a MC just can't (with the best will in the world) relate to how you are feeling. My friends have all been sympathetic and supportive but they expect me to almost forget about it now I'm pg again. And no one seems to understand the fear I feel for the 12wk scan. I was so excited last pregnancy and I do feel a little bitter that the last three months have been dominated by so much fear and worry. That said - I am still pregnant and just talking about it to people who know and making plans for the future with DH is exciting so I find myself entertaining the possibility that this one might just be ok xx

tea and kjh scan week is TOUGH not surprised you are both feeling emotional, it feels like you are balancing on the edge and anything can tip you over.

I'm getting nervous about my 20 week scan, got a whole week to wait. The endless waiting for the next bit of reassurance is so emotionally exhausting. Hoping and praying I will be able to relax a bit after this scan.

Welcome me - come and join the crazy club!