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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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PG after MC? Posifrickitivity and handholding aplenty

962 replies

WhatWillSantaBring · 26/09/2013 16:18

Hello again - another shiny new thread for the batsh*t crazy women going through the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is being pregnant after a miscarriage.

Fingers crossed for lots of happy scans and boring pregnancies.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 19:51

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SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 19:51

I am SO pleased for you Kat. Smile

We are on our way home from London. The heart scan went as expected. There is a significant hole in the heart, nothing much between left and right and a single valve between top and bottom. It sounds awful, and I have a scary biro sketch from the cardiologist, but he actually sounded really blasé. They operate around 3-6 months, patch the central wall top and bottom and slpit the single valve into two! Confused

There is a 95% success rate and all should be fine after.
The relief is palpable. I was so worried they would tell me there was nothing they can do!
I just need to help DP get on board now!

katatonic · 01/10/2013 20:01

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GardenWorm · 01/10/2013 20:02

Saggy although initially not the greatest news from your scan, you have to be delighted by the blasé 95% success rate! I'm sure baby saggy will be as tough a cookie as their mum and will take everything in their stride. Daddy Saggy will definitely come on board, just takes different people different amounts of time to adjust to things. When they are born he will still fall madly deeply and overwhelmingly in love with them x

Congrats Kat, great news for you x

katatonic · 01/10/2013 20:10

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fod27 · 01/10/2013 20:24

Wow saggy I had no idea that you were going through all this today... I'm so sorry for that. Has DH spoken to his GP about counselling? Are you seeing someone? 95% those were the same odds that you were given on a viable pregnancy right? Now look at you! I've a sneaky suspicion all will be well in the Saggy household

CbeebiesIsMyLife · 01/10/2013 20:46

I'm just poping up to say yet for Kat, so glad all is good Grin
And saggy, thems good odds, they're blasé because they know (as much as thy can) it's all good, baby saggy is fine. Hope dh catches up soon. It's been a roller coaster ride for both of you, give him time by the time baby is born I'm sure he'll be ready and together x

GuffSmuggler · 01/10/2013 20:57

Wow saggy what a rollercoaster you are on, you must feel exhausted. You and baby sound like you're in good hands, at least you know what to prepare yourself for. I would be pleased with a confident surgeon!

Big hugs, you are facing so much right now just try and take it one day at a time.

katatonic · 01/10/2013 21:19

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Pixielady83 · 01/10/2013 21:30

kat brilliant news, very pleased for you!

saggy I'm so glad they are blase about this, although it sounds very scary they will have so much experience in this kind of surgery so at least you know your baby will be in the best possible hands. It's also brilliant that it sounds like hopefully it'll be a one off op and then no further action. I can't imagine how mentally knackered you must be trying to process all these updates but really admire how positive you are. I hope mr saggy is doing ok as well, think it's very true the point kat makes about men taking longer. Think you deserve some Cake by the way seeing as you can't have Wine to help you unwind after today!

Pixielady83 · 01/10/2013 21:35

Small update from me: after very positive VBAC clinic appointment last week I met with the consultant today who basically started the appointment with shouting at me: "right, if baby is head down you try VBAC, yes?". She was very blunt and loud and I was a bit overwhelmed! I am on board with the VBAC attempt after going through it all in a lot of detail with mw last week and glad I am because I think it would have taken quite a lot of fight to try and pursue an elective section with this lady. She was kind though, the abruptness of it all just made me laugh a little bit, I was expecting a bit more gentleness and discussion but evidently that's not her style!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 21:43

Mr Saggy is really not on board with the DS aspect of things. Sad
His mother has put the wind right up him. She used to work in care. The DS cases she worked with would have been in the system since birth, think 1950/60s and highly institutionalised. I just start with how things are really different today, and the support is fantastic, and she tells him it will be awful and Ill never work again! Angry

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 21:45

Pixie that's a bit rough! Stay strong, make your decision and go with it!

katatonic · 01/10/2013 21:57

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Pixielady83 · 01/10/2013 21:58

Sad saggy that's beyond unhelpful isn't it. And totally out of date experience to go on. Have any NHS peeps given you details of any DS support groups? I don't know details but I have heard of families being able to spend time with families who have a child with the same/similar condition and it being really helpful in terms of what to expect. Even if mr Saggy doesn't go with you initially it might help you have some examples to talk to him about and then maybe you could build up to him going with you to meet a family? It's so hard not being on the same page as the person you love on something like this but hopefully he will get there. Also, would MIL listen if you ask her to pipe down and leave you both to think this through yourselves?

BlackberryandNettle · 01/10/2013 22:10

Just coming on to say we also had our 12 week scan and it was fine :-) very relieved indeed. So nice to see the baby and heartbeat again although the sonographer bounced my stomach quite a lot to get it to turn, must have been snoozing! Harmony result was v low risk, ruling out the three trisomies. The result included the sex - they showed me on the paperwork but not dh as he wants a surprise! Not sure how I'll manage to keep that quiet!

Kat so glad you had good news too, was thinking of you earlier! Have you told many people this evening? We have just called family/people who knew scan was today.

Tomorrow I am still planning to call midwife to demand an appointment to swab for bacterial vaginosis after friday discharge/blood. Have a feeling she will say the same as the doctor - it's unlikely - but don't want to take the risk.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 22:16

That is good news Blackberry.
I worry about each and every one of you when you go for scans! Confused
Pixie tomorrows job is to contact the DS Association and the counsellor.

BlackberryandNettle · 01/10/2013 22:16

Saggy sorry to read your heart scan news but it's great that it sounds easily operable. Annoyed to read about your MIL though - not exactly positive support Angry. She is just wrong, the baby will be in nursery/school and able to have a very normal childhood. All the best to you and your dh.

katatonic · 01/10/2013 22:17

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SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 22:30

I still don't know the sex! I told the sonographer she could only scan me if she looked for me! She didn't bother! When I mentioned it she said it was too early to tell! Bollocks!
Im nearly 17 weeks and she was able to zoom in so that the femur took up the whole screen! Hmm
I have to wait another week for the full CVS results to come through! Sad

fod27 · 01/10/2013 22:40

saggy sounds like MiL needs a bloody slap! That's well out of order if anything she should be backing off, allowing you both to come to terms with things and then offer support... I'm sorry I'm just very angry for you! Like your not going through enough right now! I hope that your friends and family are being supportive cxxx you need good supportive people around you right now not people that will bring you down xxxxxx

fod27 · 01/10/2013 22:40

Congrats blackberry that's wonderful news!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/10/2013 22:47

Fod I have all of you, I have the Special Needs forum, and I have a fantastic support network IRL including my Mum, sisters and several very very good friends. I am very very lucky. Smile

fod27 · 01/10/2013 22:58

That's good saggy I worry about you most... Hope that doesn't sound patronising but I think we are all very much looking out for you at present xxxx

Just been reading the stats list and there's going to be 14 Christmas babies!!! Wow! Lucky lucky ladies

BumpKitty · 01/10/2013 23:19

Gosh you've all been super chatty again.

Hello new joiners big congratulations on your BFPs :)

Very pleased for you kat and blackholes, and good luck for tomorrow cbeebies I hope the bleeding has stopped x

saggy that sounds like a whole lot of stuff to take in. That's incredible what they can do with his/her heart! And the success rate is amazing. When I typed that I really wanted to say 'his' heart so there's my prediction! It does sound like your MIL is in dire need of reeducation. As I'm sure you know, her comments and your mum's just come out of concern for you two as you are their babies and they want to look after you both. It must be incredibly hard though when you need support yourself and instead you're having to fight the corner for your baby. I hope you have a good day tomorrow and make some useful contacts xx