Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

[keepitgoing]

fairy that sounds amazing! I agree with you (i think...) that I would prefer short and painful to long and drawn out. I'm worried about having a very long labour, getting exhausted, and that's what'd push me into an epidural. Congratulations again.

beetle gosh identical twins!! How exciting. We have two other pregnant twinners here, crisps and sweetie, but they are both from 2 embryos, non-ID. That must have been quite a shock seeing that second one on there. And it sounds like you've had quite a stressful time so far, with the spotting. I had a little bit and it really freaked me out. I really hope that it calms down soon. But it's getting you lots of scans I guess, on the bright side. (we're all obsessed with scans here...) Do the twins share a placenta and/or a sac?

[MotorcycleMama]

fairy it sounds like the ideal birth. Do you think I could request that in my birth plan - short and intense please, not long and drawn out?!

Welcome beetle - really glad you have made it over to this thread. Hope you see an end to the spotting soon. Scan Thursday? How lovely, though always a bit nerve-wracking. I'm just counting down the days to my 20 week scan a week on Wednesday - that will be 8 weeks since the last one, the longest I have had to wait so far! I had 4 scans in the first 12 weeks, and will have them at 20 and 34 weeks. As far as I am aware, most women get just the 2 scans on the nhs at 12 and 20 weeks - I feel over-indulged!

I have always been atheist, but love the spirit behind ceremonies, whether religious or secular. When I had a mc I lost any belief in there being any rhyme or reason behind any of life events, no karma or fate or anything - just good luck and bad luck. Not that I think that we have no control over how we live our lives, but just when it comes to good and evil, life and death.

Baby motor just gave me a nudge - it makes me grin from ear to ear!

dildals you, along with onion and now fairy are providing the most valuable insights into motherhood - thank you. Glad you got some rest. Bella sounds gorgeous.

[OnionRing]

fairy that sounds just marvellous, I love it when a plan goes as planned! Aw to her rosebud mouth too, does her mouth change shape when she's deeply asleep? That's something I always noticed with mine.

How is the feeding going? Well I hope.

beetle that sounds like an ordeal as spotting is always worrying even if it is only cervical erosion. Loads of us have been spotters here. More twins too, how exciting.

motor not long until your 20 week now. I'm totally with you on the good luck bad luck thing with pregnancy. But those who have good luck don't really understand what it's like to live with the bad luck. Anyway, I'm glad our witterings are of use to you.

[keepitgoing]

I know what you mean about having scans conversely making it seem the time goes slower beetle... Do you work or are you a real expat wife (I just came back from abroad where I was at the end not working - found it quite weird)? I think not working is not all that helpful too in terms of keeping the mind off it, though it was lovely to be able to have afternoon naps all the time :) Hopefully as things progress you will be able to relax a bit more - and as you say, once you can feel the babies move that will be lovely and reassuring.

I am on count down to mat leave - next Friday is my last day. shaz what are you doing with yourself? Having a lovely time?

motor are you going to be finding out the sex next week? beetle I think about half of us have found out the sex - all born babies and all known babies bar one of sweetie's twins are boys - there's something funny going on here... ;) Plus my NCT 2 babies have been born now. Both girls.

[putthecrispsDOWN]

Hi beetle, welcome aboard! I am pregnant with twins, 29 weeks so far, step away from the google, it will do you no good and is very scary! We got very anxious at the beginning about everything that can go wrong but try really hard now not to worry unless we are told to. I've had a pretty tough pregnancy though (nothing major, just lots of feeling ill) and was surprised at how much I have struggled with mobility, size, breathing etc so keep an open mind about working and so on...I was signed off at 23 weeks because work was just making me too ill....that said, every pregnancy is different and ai think sweetie is still going pretty strong! Tamba is pretty good, you have to pay to be a member but it is quite cheap and once you are signed up their website is really extensive and quite balanced.

dildals sorry the christening was a bit tough, it kind of creeps up on you sometimes doesn't it. Extreme breastfeeding sounds pretty awesome though, you should have a blog!

motor I am with you, sometimes shitty things just happen I think. You are speeding along towards 20 weeks now though, fab!

fairy minipangolin sounds adorable already...and your labour sounds ace too, I think I would be too scared for a home birth but the idea of being in my own shower and then bed shortly aer sounds like bliss. I did love the picture of the birthing pool mrsHY, I'm sure you could fashion a wine and snack tray from some off-cuts of wood for it perhaps?

buzzy how are you feeling this week?

onion how is ringlet sleeping this week, are you any closer to getting some sleep? Good work on the cans of lager, I think baby tiredness feels very much like a hangover so sod it, you might as well have an actual one!

We did our local baby show a couple of weeks ago and I really enjoyed it. I'd go early as it was packed and there was a constant buggy traffic jam (quite surreal) but we did pick up a few interesting things there. I got some, breastfeeding stuff including a big poncho but have since found out ai don't think bf is a good idea for me...apparently feeding will help my endometriosis but when I eventually stop I'll have a huge bleed which could be really damaging for me...any previous bfers have experience of this? Basically bleeding is what fuels my disease, and the last thing I want is to end up having another op which makes me unable to move for a month and on morphine when I have three children under four...I wanted to give it a try this time but consultant seems to be against the idea, and at a risk of sounding selfish I just want to be well and be a mum this time.

Right, off to watch season 2 of the valleys (can't remember who was admiring my viewing, was it keep or gin?) and maybe some 90210 if I want something a bit more intellectually challenging...

[OnionRing]

crisps that sounds very scary. I've been tampered with this time as I have my mirena which causes intermittent bleeding but last time I didn't have periods for nine months while bf. I don't remember it being dramatic when it returned but then I don't have any problems there. I would take your consultants advice but I would definitely agree that you can't have major surgery and be a parent to even one child.

keep work kept me sane throughout this and my previous (failed) pregnancy. It provides distraction and imposes a structure. Because I manage staff there was a strong sense of having to go in, put on a brave face and play the part that I found difficult but ultimately really helpful. I used to cry a lot on the way home though!

beetle at the end of the day high risk pregnancies can go absolutely swimmingly and the lowest of risk pregnancies can end in catastrophe and it's all out of our control so it's useful to try and reach some acceptance of that. I'm not quite sure how as I never quite managed it myself! I think one thing to remember is that most of the time things work out fine.

Ringlet slept fairly well until 4am then was very restless, kept feeding but latching on and off (ouch), farting, wriggling, crying and griping until 6am when she puked up a gallon of milk all over herself, me and the bed. Much washing and laundry followed. She's fine and feeding again now so I think she just overstuffed herself.

[putthecrispsDOWN]

Oh bless you onion, I don't mind sick too much but having to clean up and change sheets in the middle of the night is the last thing you want!

I have stage four endo and have had six ops so far, each one taking bout six weeks to recover from. Bleeding makes it worse, and I can be given injections which stop everything an dhold it at bay, but which would stop me from being able to bf. I went straight back onto the injections with dd and have always felt a bit guilty, so as going to give bf a try this time...but now feel that I don't want to attempt it and risk getting I'll again...but this feels selfish! I don't think the bf Stasi help really...think I may give it a miss unless they are prem in which case bf would probably be really beneficial to them, hmm.

[putthecrispsDOWN]

...please ignore grammar and spelling in the previous post, I am not illiterate but my iPad is!

[Dildals]

crisps even if they're prem, they can still get donor milk, which would be the next best thing, but weird yes I know ...

[keepitgoing]

Gosh crisps I don't think you should bf, or feel guilty about it! I suppose you could just do the colostrum bit. I don't think donor milk is weird, traditionally people fed each other's babies. I am signing up to donate if I can produce enough to do so.

BTW I know lots of bottle fed babies, all fine. It's not worth risking your health imo, and the stasi should fuck right off if they are really saying anything different.

[SweetieTime]

Crisps I don't intend to BF, the BF stasi can bog off. I don't feel guilty about making this decision. Had I been having a single baby I might have thought differently and if they are in SCBU then I will try to give them what I can but not long term. Please do not beat yourself up about it, you have genuine medical reasons and your babies will need you to be strong and well in their first few weeks not making yourself ill by trying to BF.

Beetle as Crisps mentioned I am 30 weeks today with b/g twins. I have been blessed, so far, with an easy pregnancy. I have hardly even known I have been pregnant, in fact I am still shocked when I pass a mirror and I have a bump. I had 2 days in a row of sickness at w11 and that has been about it. I have carpel tunnel issues in my hands and get the odd bit of swelling in my ankles and feet but nothing I have struggled with. I get monitored monthly for growth scans, I think they keep a lot closer eye on ID twins due to TTTS so you will be in for a lot of trips to hospital. I have been on a couple of the TAMBA courses - I haven't paid to be a member yet, preparing for parenting and their anti natal. Both were really good and I would recommend if there are any in your local area. Also join any twins groups (look on Facebook) in your area too, I have had some bargains from twin Mums getting rid of stuff. Any questions ask away or PM me. Hope all goes really well for you too.

fairy what a lovely birth story, I had a tear in my eye. Sounds really good, I think fast and intense is the way to go given a choice.

Onion sorry you have had a sicky morning, not exactly the day for getting washing out on the line either. Hope little Ringlett is ok now.

Motor 20 weeks already, time is flying by. I found when I got past 20 week scan things seemed to speed up and reality kicked in that it was actually happening.

[Dildals]

onion do ringlet and Bella call each other without us knowing and make a plan together on what to do that night? Bella was latching on and off all night, griping, farting, straining and what not. She then strains so much that she chucks up her milk again. Then between feeds she possets SO much, the muslin over her mattress and the shoulders of her suit are soaked! Surely she's not getting any milk in that way!

[OnionRing]

dildals does Bella squirm for ages and then lift her legs in the air and do a massive fart? Sometimes that indicates half an hour of peace but not last night. It's weaning with ringlet though as she's trying new food all the time.

Continual posseting is so frustrating and it must be even more so with a younger (and especially a premature) baby. It's such a waste of milk. However, once when DD1 was still bf and had a vomiting bug I was told that even if the milk is in their stomach for just a minute they absorb some as breast milk is very rapidly digested. Put a towel over her mattress and under a muslin if it's soaking through, as long as they're all pulled flat they're no risk and easier to change. Wet sleepsuits are hard though as getting them changed makes them think it's playtime.

Ringlet will now only keep quiet and feed in the daytime if I let her hold a big handful of my hair. She yanks and swings on it as she feeds. It's ridiculous. I've tried holding her hand very firmly but she fights me until I let her hold my hair.

I went to see my grandma (93) today. She said 'Is she not on a bottle yet? No wonder she feeds all night, you've no bust to speak of'. Cheers grandma.

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Rushing in to say congratulations to Fairy!!!!! I had hoped to come back to a new arrival .

Welcome beetle. You are just ahead of me (I'm 10 weeks) but as far as I know there's just the one in there! I hope that things settle down for you after a rather eventful first trimester.

I haven't had a chance to catch up with what everyone's been doing while I have been on my internet-free holiday but I will do over the next few days. It was lovely to be off for a whole week just the two of us. A few too many unhealthy meals consumed but another week down and another week closer to the scan. Midwife a week from tomorrow. I have been assuming that I go to this appointment on my own. Is that right? They said to give 1 and a half to 2 hours for it which seems like a long time for us both to be missing work.

Big waves to all and I will check in properly soon!

[Dildals]

onion yes there is indeed a lot of gastro action happening ... I wonder whether it's something I ate.

That makes me feel better that milk gets digested even if it's been there only shortly. I am obsessed with the fatty hind milk going in.

I think I may have a faster let down than I thought I had. I know hold her a bit more upright when feeding and give her a couple of burp breaks in between. That seemed to help at her 2200 feed and she's done an exemplary 2 am feed. Fingers crossed.

Bella doesn't really do play time yet, she has episodes where she wants to have a little chat and look around but after a feed she tends to tire quickly (not always though).

Must make sure to keep hair away from her!

[fairypangolin]

beetle wow, what a surprise to discover twins! With the bleeding and all no wonder you're a bit freaked out. But it does seem like a double miracle given that they are IVF as well.

crisps I can't imagine anyone in their right mind considering you "selfish" for not bfing given your endometriosis and your consultant's advice. Your endo sounds awful, you poor thing.

madness the first appt with the midwife does take a while, esp if its your first baby or if you have any complications. My DH never came to any MW appts bc of work and I don't think he missed anything important. He came to all the scans though of course.

dildals the whole "hind milk" thing seems designed to make bfing mothers neurotic. After all it's not as though your breasts have a gauge saying full to empty. Mini pang fed really frequently yesterday but she could only manage a few minutes each time before conking out so I don't know if she's getting the hind milk bonanza or not. The MW is coming today to weigh her so hopefully she will have gained a bit.

onion I have a friend whose daughter was obsessed with playing with and stroking her hair, esp when feeding or cuddling. She grew out of it eventually but my friend did find it irritating at times and worried that it excluded her DH who is bald!

Has AF come back already for you? When I had the mirena DS and was BFing I didn't have one until he was about 18 months, and then only very lightly for about another year. It was a great side effect.

Well, mini pang slept from 11 to 2 and then from 3 to 5:30 so a pretty good night over all. She's asleep again now but letting off a fusillade of burps and farts so she will prob wake up soon. Oh yes a little eye just opened so I should grab the chance to go to the loo now. I don't think I'm up to dildals feat yet!

[MotorcycleMama]

Just a quickie from me as I am at work..
I went for a swim this morning, and after a few lengths I felt my abdomen tighten so I got out of the pool and it had gone quite hard. Very similar to post orgasm (apologies for TMI), so I tried not to worry and just got back in the pool and did a few more lengths. I am about to google to see what I can find, but thought it would be safer to ask you guys whether it is something to be alarmed about - should I phone the midwife for advice? Or is it normal?
Hi to all, will read back later when I get chance. X

[keepitgoing]

Sounds Luke braxton hicks. I get them all the time now, pretty much, but have had the odd one from about your stage, esp post-O... Nothing to worry about at all.

[Ginestas]

Just popping in quickly to say motor that is almost definitely a braxton hick. I get them if I stretch or have walked for a bit when tired, so can imagine swimming could set one off. Do call the MW if you are worried.

Had 32 week check up yesterday and bump is measuring exactly 32cms, wohoo! Also scared myself by reading my notes, which had risk of pre term labour scribbled over them from the other week's hospital trip..

My mind has been boggling at the BF/pooing combos. Amazeballs.

[OnionRing]

Seconded that it sounds like BH. Don't worry, only if they're painful and regular.

fairy that's great sleeping / feeding from Pangolina. This whole fore hind milk thing is apparently not accurate and it's the way in which the baby feeds that changes fat content of the milk. So a lactation consultant told me as I was worried that ringlet was only getting fore milk. Mind you ringlets such a bad latcher that it didn't really reassure me.

I don't know whether it's a period or just mirena settling in, as it's more like spotting and the occasional light flow day but the GP told me I could get upto six months of intermittent bleeding and then hopefully either no periods or very light ones.

dildals there is only really vague evidence around what you eat affecting your milk. There's some evidence that citrus fruit and dairy can have an effect but none of it's very convincing. I swear that if I eat blue cheese it makes her nappies stink! That bumpology woman should do a baby care book.

Not a bad night here, fairly settled two hour kips until 4 then she would only sleep on me, I wonder if she gets cold then? Tonight I'm putting her in a heavier sleeping bag. DH has decamped to the spare room so I'm getting more sleep as I'm not between him and her trying not to wake either of them.

[putthecrispsDOWN]

motor that sounds like BH to me, I have had lots from very early on in my pregnancy. The more mild ones feel a bit like a tightening and a warming of my lower abdo muscles, and the more extreme ones are a bit more uncomfortable. Keep an eye on them...all nothing to worry about if they are once in a while but I'd get checked out for peace of mind if you have lots and they worry you. It's a good sign of your pregnancy progressing though!

I like the name pangolina! That sounds like fab sleep...even if it is just for a few nights it is amazing what a half decent sleep feels like. I'm trying to stock up on sleep at the moment!

I think you guys are right about bf....I really wanted to do it, for the babies and for myself, but I just can't face starting the whole pain and treatment and operations thing again. I'm assuming thse are my last babies (I am campaigning for number 4 at the moment but DH is having none of it!) and quite looking forward to and end to the multiple hospital appointments, injections, treatments, googling and general stress. I just want to get on with a boring normal life after the last ten years!

gin glad everything is good with your bump. They always seal my notes in an envelope so I can't read them which seems mad but is probably not a bad thing! Did you have a partum test?(think that's what it is called, you'd know about it if you did, it's like a smear test from hell). I had one when I was admitted and it came back negative, along with having a scan of my cervix which they were also happy about. I'm terrified of prem labour and generally anything going wrong, my mind plays tricks on me. My friend just had her baby at 39 weeks, three hour labour, no pain relief then came home and cooked tea that night! Bloody instadiffers and instalabourers showing us hardcore mums up...

[MotorcycleMama]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. Dr Google seems to concur - Braxton Hicks. I was alarmed as I thought that BH start later in pregnancy, but evidently not. I presume they get more frequent and stronger over time.

A colleague of mine recommended the 'E pillow' - have any of you tried that? Feedback welcome.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow beetle.

I don't want to find out the sex keep though won't be terribly upset if I do. I quite like the mystery.

fairy glad to hear pangolina had a couple of good sleeps to allow you a bit of rest and recovery - same goes for onion. Long may it continue.

Well done on your perfect bump size gin!

crisps there's no way on earth you should feel bad about making what sounds like a very sensible decision re bf.

[Nokkie73]

Well my yoni looks like Crazy Meg attacked it in the middle of night with a pair of blunt secateurs. That will teach me to 'tidy it up' when in the shower without actually being able to see it. Fuck knows why - it's like one of those ghost towns in Russia. No bugger has been there for ages.

motor I went swimming when we went away for a couple of days last month and the nipper went MENTAL. It must be something about that activity which makes babies go nuts in there.

fairy minipang sounds absolutely adorable and such a good girl. You sound very zen right now - it's so nice to hear a positive birth story too.

beetle hello lovely ! Nice to see you here. Amazing news re the twinnies. You must be stunned ! Scan tomorrow right ? Good luck.

onion nice work from Granny Onion on comparing your knockers to third world boobies. It sounds as though your hair may look like Crazy Meg has had a go at it if Ringlet has her way. How is DD1 these days ?

gin look at you and your perfect bump ! A bit scary about the notes though. When are you packing-up work ? Will you have some time to sit on your Beyoncé, eating crisps and reading Take a Break before mini-gin comes ?

crisps I totally agree with the other ladies re BF. Seriously, the Nork Nazis can just fuck the fuck off if they put you under any pressure. We'll all be round to your gaff to drown them in mrsh's MTV style Cribs birthing pool if they dare to say a fucking word. You do whatever you feel is right for you (you too sweetie) as I can imagine BF'ing twinnies is a hard task.

mad hi to you too ! My first midwife appointment took an hour and a half too. They have to fill out such a lot of bloody paperwork it's untrue.

Hi to keep dildals ceara and anyone else lurking. Wtf is shazza ? Wtf is buzz ? Come out to play please