Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

crisps thanks, I know it is starting, I am just being impatient. Perhaps because this was IVF it feels as though this is really dragging on. All the months worrying about whether it would work, then the treatment and then the pregnancy - I just really want to have the baby NOW!!! Sounds as though you had a pretty straightforward labour with DD, just what one wants.

I am really sorry about the sinusitis, a very good friend of mine has had problems with her sinuses all her life and had infections constantly when pg and couldn't take anything. It made her more miserable than anything else, incl morning sickness. I hope yours clears up soon.

I agree 'mini fairy' sounds a bit too twee. I picked the nickname in the first place because 'fairy' is so inappropriate when describing a 'pangolin' (and because my sister always loved pangolins) not because I harbour any delusions about being delicate and magical! Babies are much more like elves anyway. We shall have to see when she appears, perhaps 'babypangolin' will be more appropriate!

Crisps lovely to hear from you, sounds like your registrar was from the same school of managing messages sensitively as mine did. I have yet to meet anyone at our hospital who is any different. The thought of your headline from googling penis beaker has me snorting - can imagine the Daily Fail would love it.

Fairy hope things gear up for you and your are having new born snuggles very soon. I think it is the frustration of wanting it just to happen that makes it so difficult. I would feel a whole lot better about natural birth if I know how long it would be etc, suppose it is my control freak nature that puts me off.

Shazza I am going to be doing batch cooking when on mat leave too, anything that can be eaten with one hand and easily warmed up. I am also going to write Christmas cards and get all the gifts bought online and wrapped. I can not imagine I will have time once twins come along.
My Mum has knitted 6 little cardigans now, some are super tiny. I am a bit worried they might be too small. I will put a photo on FB for you.

Noks not sure I am ready for Yoni inspection but I did have a general tidy up the other day while I can still reach. I am not sure it will be getting tended to again until I am on the other side.

Onion who knew you can get maize based weening food. I love it. How is DD getting on today with new foods? Hope this helps with her feeding through the night.

Gin sorry for the loss of your fur baby, it is really sad isn't it. Poor you.

I am off to blood clinic this afternoon to discuss my non clotty/too clotty blood. I am not sure what they are going to say as they haven't taken any more blood to review. Last time I went to this clinic it was running 4 hours behind so I hope I don't have a long wait for nothing.

crisps Do you think it will be mentally scarring for Bella to be witness to her parents shagging, while she is in her bednest? :-)

Loose Women and M&Ms are my drug of choice. I finished the The Fall boxset. Did I miss another DVD or is that ending crap?!

dildals that's what your sofa is for now!

crisps registrars have fuck all say anyway. I saw one once when my consultant was off sick and she told me I wasn't having an ELCS as there was no need and yes, she understood my anxieties but there there. My consultant who actually did understand apologised and waved it through for me. Grr on your behalf. And hope you enjoyed the penis beaker furore.

fairy it's such a drag waiting. When I was waiting to have DD1 I tried to lie in bed all day reading but I kept picking really inappropriate books that just upset me. Cormac McCarthy The Road was one of them. What was I thinking? DH came home one day to find me reading a large print romance I'd bought in a charity shop which was great until someone died in childbirth. I then swapped to TV and used to watch four consecutive episodes of Come Dine With Me. What a waste of life!

sweetie I'm trying to do Xmas shopping now as we'll be in full on frugal mode by then. I'm fed up with it already.

I am so sleep deprived that I got half way to the shop before remembering I'd left sausages under the grill (for a casserole). I had to run back with the buggy like a madwoman. Luckily they were only well done.

Hi
just popping in!
my, you are busy, busy ladies!
Nothing exciting here, still only 5+3 and time is going soo sllooowwweelllyyyy.
Off work still with sore throat/cough/cold.
Super anxious most of the time waiting for something to go wrong. reassuringly my boobs hurt and itch more today and have been having stretching twinges (I hope) worried when I dont have any for a few days, then think the worst when they start again. Eating like a horse - spots me feeling sick, think my face is looking fatter already! oops. Must go out and buy fruit not biscuits .

onion I did the same a few years ago with a pizza, have never run so fast in my life I had been out for about half an hour when I remembered and was a 20 minute walk from home! needless to say it was black disc and a pizza no more

• stops not spots!

fairy it sounds like the consultant was just trying to cover her arse. I'm surprised she didn't get you to sign her notes to prove that she had highlighted all the risks. I felt the same after my appointment with the consultant - totally different to my experiences with the midwives who have been generally positive and easy-going. It is a shame though, because right now all you need is calm encouragement.

I'm having a bit of a freak-out in Cornwall. I had a bad cold prior to my holiday, and started getting anxious that rather than it being a cold, it was CMV. Prior to IVF I tested negative to CMV antibodies which is clearly Not A Good Thing, because if you get infected during pregnancy, it can have serious consequences for the baby (severe mental retardation and disabilities). Although I was told it was Not A Good Thing, I wasn't given any particular information about how to avoid it or recognise it or anything helpful. So I called the midwives while still in Cambridge, and when I didn't hear back from them, I made an appt with my GP for November 1st to discuss/get a blood test. I phoned the midwives again leaving a long message just checking if this was the right course of action. They have subsequently left a message for me saying that I should have a blood test ASAP and to sort it out while on holiday. The upshot is I have an appt with a GP in a village in Cornwall this evening, and may need to transport bloods to the local hospital myself for urgent assessment. I have no idea if this is over the top, or reasonable in the cirumstances. I have done so much googling on CMV but never end up feeling clear about it. I now feel totally anxious and confused. Sorry for the very long post. Any of you have any experience of this or useful insights?

foodie I had very few symptoms in early pregnancy, and those I did have (sore boobs) came and went. Try not to worry, that is just the way it goes. I'm sure you will be fine. Will you get a 7 week scan? I don't think I could have survived the anxiety without every test and scan going!

Good luck with the scan today crisps - it will be amazing to see your babies at this stage of development. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Hi to everyone else. X

dildals I didn't realise the last episode of the Fall was the last episode until it didn't show again the next week. I was really confused by the reviews which referred to it as 'the last episode' when there was no ending at all! Overall I think it was pretty ridiculous (is his wife stupid or what?) although entertaining. I guess they are leaving it open for a sequel.

foody glad to hear you are hanging in there. when is your scan?

sweetie I really want to avoid a CS this time because I found the recovery really difficult last time. But then it was an EMCS and I gather an ELCS is much easier to recover from. I agree though that natural childbirth is difficult when you like to be in control of your time and experience since you definitely have no control over either!

onion funnily enough, I read The Road when I was pg with DS. It reduced me to tears at several points and I could never read it now. It is such a powerful depiction of parental love, I remember one point where he describes seeing his son 'shining like a tabernacle' in the gloom and I know exactly what he means.

motor we cross posted - I don't understand what it means to test neg to CMV antibodies, does that mean you have had the virus or that you haven't? If you haven't surely that is the case for most of us? If so surely the chances that your cold was actually CMV are v low? Sorry if I am asking totally silly questions but I'm a little confused - and don't like to think of you being so worried whilst on holiday!

fairy it means that I haven't had the virus, but most people have, albeit without being aware of it. It is only dangerous if you get infected the first time in pregnancy. From what I read, the most usual mode of transmission is via nursery school age kids and their secretions, so the advice is not to kiss them on the lips, and to wash your hands after changing nappies etc. I haven't had that sort of exposure, so the likely scenario is that I have just had a cold. The trouble is in the absence of authoritative advice, I am filling in gaps and going to the worst case scenario. I just hope the GP can help.

I had never even heard of CMV!

Fairy & mama I have not booked a scan and dont know if i will have one. I had spotting at 6 weeks before my mc in May so had scans at epu at 6 and 7 weeks before mc at 8 weeks - so don't think i will be reassured by extra scans. I am just going to see how I feel and book a private scan at short notice if I decide I want one. cant face the thought of booking appts then things going wrong. Took all my courage a few days ago to allow myself to book the booking in appt with MW.

Hello everyone

Motor I've never heard of cmv either and have next to no contact with nursery or school children. It sounds like your risks are low but as with everything if you are worried then get it checked. Better to know either way so you can have necessary treatment or feel relieved. Apart from this worry I hope you are having a lovely trip.

Onion the sausage incident made me laugh. So lucky. The sliced frozen cake is genius. Do you just get a slice out as and when? How long does it take to defrost usually? (Thinking about when I'm having an emergency cake need!).

Dildals I'll still be nattering away for ages. I hope I won't be talking to myself although it won't be the first time. Re the bednest 'action'. I was also wondering this. Our 2 seater sofa is not very big. Hmm we are going to have to get creative. That's if we ever have sex again post birth of course

Fairy your consultant sounds like a nightmare. How unhelpful at this stage. You have heard the pros and cons and made a decision accordingly. They should respect that now. I hope it hasn't throw you touch and you are and to maintain your focus on a calm and healthy home birth. Gosh I sound like my hypnobirthing affirmations.

Crisps im sorry about the sinusitis. It sounds miserable. Definitely get going on the granny squares. The first crochet thing I made was a granny square baby blanket for shazlett. Your registrar sounds awful also. I can't believe anyone who is supposed to be caring for you thinks its ok to refer to dragging one of your babies out by its ankles. That's terrible care.

Sweetie I hope your appt at the blood clinic was ok. I also want to get Xmas prep out of the way before shazlett comes although I'm not sure I will. Can't wait to see your mums caddies. My mum arrived with a beautiful knitted dog on her last visit. It is so cute.

Foody I had very few symptoms also I was mainly very very tired. Glad you are hanging out with us though.

Hello to everyone else.

I'm on my way to Nct BFing workshop. I hope it is helpful and informative.

X

Motor we had CMV screening as part of our DE IVF cycle to match us with the same status donor. I was also CMV neg so understand your concern as we were also told that CMV can manifest itself as a bad cold which is why most people don't even realise they have contracted it. I think high risk groups are young children and health care workers. Can you contact your clinic? I think they might be more use than your GP. Try not to worry as I am sure the likelihood of your cold been CMV is very small. Hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Onion did you manage to rescue the sausages? We had sausage and mash with cabbage & onion gravy for tea - it was lovely.

Shazza hope the BF workshop goes well, I am getting used to seeing knitted boobs now used to demonstrate BFing

Blood appointment went well my iron levels have increased which is good news and no need for iron tablets. But I did get a £70 parking ticket, which I am going to appeal. Parking is a bloody nightmare at our hospital and all the usual car parks were full so I parked on the road in an area which you are supposed to return in 2 hours, my ticket says it is permit holders only. It was up a massive hill so I had really bad cramps by the time I had rushed back to my car. I am really peed off about it.

Thanks sweetie - it must be the donor egg thing then, as no-one else seems to know what I'm talking about, including the GP I just saw. She phoned the on call midwife who suggested she do a blood test, which I think will happen tomorrow after she has got advice from the microbiologists at the local hospital. We'll see. I'm trying not to worry and will watch the England game this evening with a M & S curry. Just a shame I can't have cider to go with it! Bad news about your parking ticket - I hope you win your appeal.

crisps meant to say on the sinus front that I suffer terribly and dreaded getting an attack in pregnancy as I rely on sudafed or get a horrendous headache. Menthol in steam helps me too which is pregnancy safe. I don't actually get a blocked up nose with sinusitis, just a headache but steam still helps. Might be worth a try?

Motor that sucks, I too had never heard of it but had a similar panic re slapped cheek virus when pregnant as my daughter was thought to have it and it's dangerous in pregnancy. I had blood tests that showed I was already immune so was ok but I know what you're going through. Thing is, you haven't been near nursery kids so you are unlikely to have had it. It's the season for colds and you're bound to worry about it because you know you're not immune. I hope the blood tests reassure you though.

fairy that book utterly harrowed me. All I could think for days was why on earth I was bringing a child into such a doomed and fucked up world. I read somewhere that becoming a parent strips a layer of skin off you and it's true. I would never even attempt to read a book like that. I can barely watch the news as any suffering, but especially children absolutely haunts me.

shazz best to aim low and assume you'll never have sex again! A slice of cake takes almost no time to defrost and I have actually eaten them still half frozen at times. Twenty seconds in the microwave and there it is. (Glacé icing freezes the best though.) I routinely freeze slices of chocolate or lemon sponge, carrot cake and banana loaf. They also make a very comforting quick pudding with custard. No wonder I can't shift this weight.

foody it's like time stands still isn't it? Try to distract yourself and I know scans aren't helpful if things have still gone wrong after them. Hang in there though and fingers crossed for you.

I'm in bed with ringlet hoping (futilely) for a better night. We've had a good day with a nice mix of cooking, playing, shopping, feeding, (her) napping and eating. Now if only she would tank herself up and let me sleep for a couple of hours!

sweetie good about the iron but appeal as most tickets are overturned on appeal. (Sausages were just about to burn but I will have achey thighs tomorrow as I had to run up our very steep lane while pushing the pram. Normally I take it very slowly indeed.)

motor how infuriating that the professionals don't know. I had the exact same where I was telling the GP and nurse the risks and they knew nothing, until some microbiologist at the lab explained it to them and arranged for me to have a blood test. Enjoy your curry though (alcohol free beer is ok if it's freezing cold! Do they do alcohol free cider?)

think they call it apple juice onion

motor ok, well it sounds unlikely to be CMV but I hope you get sufficient reassurance tomorrow and in the meantime it's a good game.

Never thought of freezing cake before, what a dangerous idea.

I freeze banana muffins and then take them to work. Delicious!

motor I've not heard of it either, but hope you get the test done soon x

just a quicky from me, I have been up at A&E tonight, they checked me over, had an ECG and blood tests, no heart problems, no clots on my lungs, no explanation as to why I feel so awful, just normal pregnancy symptoms 15 more weeks of this and I'll be throwing myself in front of a bus if I had the energy to go out and do it

sorry for lack of personals

noks my yoni looks like the butcher has had a go at it

Oh dear buzz. I'm sorry you are having such a miserable time of it. Good news that you don't have an underlying illness though. What triggered the trip to A&E? I hope this means you can be signed off work so you can rest.

onion there are some alcohol free ciders - the Waitrose one is the best. Still I miss the psychological anaesthetic of alcohol. How was your night?

fairy how are you this morning?

I'm lying in bed watching the sea crash against the rocks (beautiful) waiting for the GP to call me and advise what the next step is. I so wish this could have been sorted before the holiday.

buzzy you poor love. I'm glad there's nothing properly wrong but it's very gruelling all the same. I hope things change soon.

motor our holidays for a few years were blighted by chicken pox, tonsilitis and even a broken leg (DH) and blood poisoning (me - from a mosquito bite!) Now we never leave the country, but if we do go anywhere I always research all the medical services and contact numbers prior to going. The waves sound beautiful though, hope you can put this to one side soon.

fairy ANY NEWS?!!!

I freeze everything, I even have two freezers. I never cook less than four portions of anything and prowl the reduced shelves whenever I go to a supermarket and then bung it all in the freezer.

Another predictably bad night, we all overslept until 7.15 so were rushed too. I can't stand being rushed in the mornings.

buzzy so sorry you are feeling so rough and that there is no explanation! Hopefully it will eventually pass but pg is tough enough as it is.

onion I'm tempted to buy a second freezer too. It would be great to have a stockpile of frozen dinners. And I'm the same re sensitivity to harm to children. When DS was about 18 months the Baby P story was in the news and he was about the same age. I was traumatised by the reports of how he had been treated. I tried to avoid them but it was such a big story, like the Daniel Pelka one earlier this year, it was hard to do.
sweetie glad your blood results were reassuring.

Well once again I had promising pains cranking up yesterday arvo which then died down when I went to bed. However I am excited to announce that my mucous plug appears to be disintegrating! WOO! At least I'll be able to tell the midwife that. She's going to try a sweep if my cervix is low enough, has anyone else had one of those? Reports seem to vary as to how uncomfortable they are.

buzzy gosh you poor thing having to go to A&E, though great that they haven't found anything in particular wrong with you. Can you get signed off sick? I really hope so. You are having such a tough pregnancy, which isn't fair after such a long road to get here.

fairy ANY NEWS?! Now, what is her number...

shaz, you are 36 weeks now too! Could be any time for you as well, when shall we start hassling you?!

We have our tour of the hospital this evening. I wonder if DH will make it home on time

buzzy that's rubbish for you. I have felt dreadful throughout, although my breathing/dizziness/flashing lights has eased lots in the last week. Tis weeks scan showed that both babies are now head down (they were previously top and tail) and I think maybe it was a positioning of the baby thing, I.e. she was trapping my lungs and aorta which made me feel so terrible. It sucks, doesn't it, all this effort to get pregnant and then you get dealt a shitty pregnancy! Really hope you feel better soon. Are you still working? It took me a while to get round the idea of being signed off ut I retrospect it really was for the best, I have no idea how I was managing to go to work while constantly being sick, fainting and not being able to walk. If you continually feel that bad, keep on at your GP, mw, whoever, you may be better off at home watching Geordie shore like me

onion Vicks and steam does help a bit, as long as it not am when I am being sick, not a good combo. It seems to be easing a bit which I am super grateful for. You are a wicked lady to suggest freezing cake, I have been trying to freeze meals but DH is clearly going to find the freezer full of gluten free cake and sod all nutritious at some point in the future! I have been campaigning for a chest freezer for a while now despite having nowhere to put it. I think I have been watching too much 'extreme couponning', I am getting jealous of those women with their huge stockpile sheds full of food, that's my kind of style. I have a huge stockpile of jams and chutneys and pickles but would like to expand into cake I think.

dildals doubt Bella will be scarred...I think we indulged once when Dd was asleep in her Moses basket in our room and then spent the next hour wondering whether that was morally wrong! She was in her own room quite early on to be honest. Love Bella's picture today, she is adorable.

fairy good news on the mucus front. Have never had a sweep but to be honest after ivf and all the invasive malarkey we have been through I don't think most things like that seem as bad to us as they do to 'normal people' fucking instadiffers

Have just been for physio for my spd. Took four months to get a referral but the woman is a fucking god. She spent half an hour bending me about and realigning my hips, then trussed me up in a support belt and a huge tubistocking which I am clearly going to steal and use like a mahoosive pair of spanx after the pregnancy and it has been like a miracle. I just climbed the stairs in my house in one go for the first time in ages and can actually walk around without skiing across the carpet - still slowly and out of breath but has made a huge difference. I do really respect the NHS and all the care I have had in this pregnancy, fair play.

Scan went well yesterday, both ladies are now head down and growing well - slightly different sizes but apparently nothing to worry about. Had a new lovely (slightly hot) consultant who said I can go for a natural birth, all being well, which is what I'd prefer as long as that's ok for babies. He was very lovely and explained everything, came away feeling really positive for once. Must attend to the yoni though just in case he is there...