Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Oh keep yes to bleeding gums. Mine often do a bit but the other day i got such a fright cause there was loads of blood. It's stopped now though. And I still haven't made a dentist appt. thanks for reminding me.

Oh keep yes to bleeding gums. Mine often do a bit but the other day i got such a fright cause there was loads of blood. It's stopped now though. And I still haven't made a dentist appt. thanks for reminding me.

You can buy something called Gengigel or Gingigel in Boots, a blue and white tube of gel that you rub into your gums last thing at night that helps with the bleeding and inflammation. It's about £7 a tube. My hygienist recommended it during pregnancy.

Hot hot hot. Desperate to get home, take my sticky bra off and stand under a very cold shower. I feel revolting.

Expat I was confused for a minute but then remembered that you live abroad! It's not so sunny here today.

Thanks Mariana. You are a mine of top tips. I'm writing them all down

I'm starving. We are moving desks here and I've missed a snack. Time to tuck into lunch soon.

Thanks Mariana, though I couldn't find it in boots here. Will have to wait till I get home. I literally cannot wait to not be hot expat. Before pregnancy and living in Bangkok I was always cold at home. I was ok here pre preg, but now I am Always Freaking Hot and I've had it. It's 38 and v humid all day, and like 33 at night. Argh. Ah, rainy cold England, how I miss thee. 7 weeks...

Wow keep 38 and humid must be hard work. It was 28 today and I struggled. A friend gave me the tip of putting wet flannels in the freezer for a while and then putting them on your pressure points so am giving that a go. I'm back at work.

Haven't heard from Dildals for a while. Hope all is okay.

I don't know where my head is these days. Is there really such a thing as pregnancy braiin? keep 7 weeks is very close. It must be getting exciting! Are you all sorted?

Once you start looking at travel systems properly the cost is amazing - near enough 1000 euros. I saw an x-lander pram on the tram the other day and it looked fab but can't work out where I can get it.

20 ish degrees with a nice cooling breeze is about my limit of comfort. Those temperatures sound pretty gruelling. Lots of sympathy. I have also found that cold compresses on pressure points help a bit on the odd occasion the summer turns up here in England, so it's definitely worth a try.

Thanks for the welcome and the reassuring words about spotting being quite common. Mine seems (touching wood and holding breath) to be abating for now though my sanity's still awol! I feel like I want to camp out in the hospital and have a scan every day before breakfast. And I really hate hospitals. And scans. (Is irrationality and anxious obsessing a pregnancy symptom? Maybe I'm having some symptoms after all!)

Lovely to see how many of you have already made it through the first 12 weeks.

shazza you did not upset me, I'm just shocked at this uncontrolable eating and massive weight gain, if I was thin to start with I would worry so much but I really just cannot control it, I ended up going 3 hours without food today as we on a home visit with a patient and it took longer than expected I now need to have emergency snacks in my bag
one of patients asked if a colleague was pregnant, she is a big girl but she is most certainly not diffed, I did wonder what he though the same about me, although I won't be one of those women with the little bump, i'll be the one that people can't decide if i'm pregnant or fat

ceara welcome and congrats :)
yes you are a couple of days a head of me, I do now have symptoms that I neurotically note down each day I've had a few days where the sickness has been unbearable, I have not known anything like it, then get totally freaked out when in goes away, never happy
Did the clinic test your progesterone level?? my clinic told me up my dose and the spotting has stopped, when is your next scan :)

expat the weather thing threw me a bit too

keep 38 and humid I've lived in warmer climbs but have to say I am glad to be in the UK right now

well there isn't much left in the house to eat besides the cat I am finding the husband quite irritating at times, he's only be home 45 minutes

Finding one's husband irritating is a definite pregnancy symptom.

I too can only cope with 21 degrees. 38 just sounds horrible, hope you're feeling cooler keep. Somehow!

Ceara, I hated scans but obviously found them reassuring if they were ok. The reassurance generally lasted about two days. It's so hard but just try to get through one day at a time.

Still lovely weather here but I discovered that I can't fit into any of my maxi dresses due to massive bosom. I can't wait for these things to deflate a little.

Thanks buzzy. Mad world, isn't it, for me to be saying I'm so pleased to hear you're being unbearably sick and vomitous :-) I hope your scan next week (is that right?) brings you more reassurance.

As for me, I am now discharged from the fertility clinic as of Thursday, so no more scans or tests scheduled yet unless the spotting returns/gets worse in which case I have to see my GP for a referral to the early pregnancy unit. I think I will book a private scan for a couple of weeks time - part of me is chicken, but probably better to know sooner. Still no real pregnancy symptoms other than slightly tender breasts if I really think about it, and occasional minor possible nausea, though I do have a sense of smell now which isn't normal for me. My mum had no pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester, so I am trying to take comfort from the thought that maybe its in the genes!

Nobody suggested upping my progesterone so I am still on my standard dose of the lovely crinone until 10 weeks. Sorry to be graphic at dinner time but I was very bunged up with the crinone residue gunk stuff at the scan so wondered if that had been somehow affecting absorption of the progesterone recently??, though that is probably daft craziness. No spotting all day so I am trying to be content with that.

I can identify with the hunger and have been struggling to stay away from beige things and to eat my 5 a day. Dinner calls...

have woken up not feeling pregnant at all, no sickness, tiredness, boobs hardly sore

buzz I get days like that, or certain times of the day (if that makes sense). They are so tiny at this stage (but getting bigger each day - remember that) their impact in our bodies is likely to be minimal. I said to my mum the other day that I wanted morning sickness because it would prove to me that I was preggers. She looked at me as if I was bonkers and said 'no you bloody don't. I had it with you and I couldn't function half the time'. Try to hang on in there. In my dark moments, when I feel symptomless, I have to think logically and look at the other evidence to suggest that in all likelihood, I am still diffed. I.e., no bleeding. I know this doesn't give you a cast iron guarantee either, but unless we're scanned each day, it's all we have.

Hang on in there lovely.

Noks xx

Hello to everyone else.

nokkie this is the time I would feel sick usually between 7.30 and 17.30 each day, I have nothing, and yes your mum is right it is hard to function when sick, but I would more rather be sick then constantly wondering what is going on, bleeding means nothing, I've had 2 mmc before and I'm on such high doses of progesterone that I wouldn't bleed so that doesn't tell me anything, my boobs have been constantly sore but today they hardly hurt

Buzzy, it's so hard after all you've been through not to have dark thoughts so I won't insult you by saying stay positive. Can you do something or go somewhere today that has happy associations and distracts your mind for a little?

Hope everyone else is OK today.

Buzzy, likewise I won't say don't worry, but regardless of what else may or may not be going on you can't do anything about it today. Therefore in my experience the only answer is distraction. If it's as sunny with you as it is with me why not clean your windows, that'll keep you going for hours chasing those never ending streaks.

Oh buzz, not long till Wednesday. Then you'll know what's what. Every pregnancy is different.

I am v sore after Tracy Andersen workouts yest and today. shaz I think you have her, are you enjoying? Are you on month five now? I think I'll alternate months 3&4 for a bit, so not as repetitive.

Ceara I wouldn't think the old gunk stops absorption, after all this is just what its designed for. I guess we just have to trust the doctors, after all they've got us this far. Have you told any family yet?

Hi noks you ok?

Hello Ladies

Keep I don't have Tracy Anderson, Dildals has that one. I have 10 minute prenatal Pilates, Prenatal Yoga short forms and Erin O'Brien Pregnancy Fitness. They were all pretty cheap on Amazon so I got different ones for variety. I do 2 lots of the Pilates one every day so 20 mins and then at the weekend one of the others. Today I did 30 mins yoga which is boring as anything to be honest but I needed to move and stretch my body. I guess just do what feels right for you. If it's too much, as you say, go back a month and alternate. Would you like me to send you some of the gum stuff that Mariana suggested? 7 weeks until the move is so close. Any idea where you are going yet?

Expat wet flannels in the freezer is a good idea if it is hot. I'm forever putting cool compresses on my body during the day cause of my hives. I have to nip off to the loos and wet some paper towels otherwise it is unbearable. I know what you mean about travel systems. I look at the price and think 'ok, a couple of hundred' but then you have to buy the pram, car seat etc etc. What about buggies that lie flat instead of a pushchair/pram? They look abit flimsy for a newborn to me but does anyone have any thoughts?

Ceara I'm pleased the spotting has eased up. I know what you mean about wanting a scan all the time. I think irrationality is a symptom! I fear I may never get my sanity back. Congratulations on being discharged from the clinic. It's a big moment after such a journey. I had a private scan because I took the Harmony test at the Fetal Medicine Centre and 2 scans were included in the price. Re symptoms, I didn't have any of the major ones (ie tender boobs, sickness) but I did a lot of prep and had a lot of acupuncture in the lead up to treatment (all of which may, ironically, have resulted in me getting upduffed without treatment in the end) and my acupuncturist said that I shouldn't worry about not having symptoms cause in a way that showed that everything was working ok. She said that hormones rise and symptoms come but then your body adjusts and the symptoms wane abit. I felt abit reassured by that (but admittedly not much!). If your mum didn't have many symptoms it could well follow that you won't either.

Buzzy It is so tough. I want to give you a hug. All we can say is hang in there and we are all here for you. How are you feeling this evening?

Mariana I've always wanted a maxi dress but every year I try one on and I can never find one that looks good on me. I'm hoping that this year, the bigger boobs and expanding belly might mean that finally I can wear one! How are things chez Trench?

Noks how are you feeling now? I'm at home alone obsessively bidding on Ebay items. Guess where Bono is?!!!

Hello to everyone else. Quite a few peeps are quiet. I hope you are all ok.

I haven't left the flat today. What with one thing and another it didn't happen. Oops. and it is such a lovely day. This morning DP and I had a panicky conversation re maternity leave following my meeting with HR yesterday and the realisation that mat pay is nowhere near what I had calculated. Apparently the maternity policy that I printed off was wrong! I'm really stressing now that we won't have any money and I'll be forced to go back to work really early. I'm good at budgeting but I have no idea how I'm going to make that work. Hopefully the lottery ticket that we bought at work on Friday came in!

Have a good Saturday evening girls. x

shaz I love my McLaren Quest buggy. Lightweight, folds nicely and cost about £150, but not suitable from birth, only from three months. However, the McLaren Techno is suitable from birth, is more expensive but gets great reviews. Either would be far more suitable for a small hallway than a massive pram. What you could also do is use a sling for the first three months then use a buggy after that. The only thing I would suggest is that if you use a sling, buy a shopping trolley as anymore than one bag with a sling is a pain whereas a shopping trolley would be fine for buying food etc. and that's what the sling using people round here do.

Bad news about the maternity pay. Can you save some between now and then? Do you have any savings you can use to extend it? I think it's important to try and get as much leave as you want or you'll feel very miserable. Bear in mind, as I'm sure you have, that you spend less when on leave as you hardly go out. I think I spend about £10 a week as pocket money and that usually includes lunch out at a cafe for me and DD1 once a week. No work travel, lunches etc and you cook more from scratch as you've hopefully got more time.

Also massive sympathy on the hives. I've been getting a recurring on over my lip which is driving me mad. I have no idea why, it's like an itchy moustache.

We have MIL staying so have a crucial extra pair of hands about the place. We are possibly off to a local hall today for a wander round the gardens. Or off for a picnic by the river, I haven't decided yet. I do love living in the countryside!

Hope everyone else is ok and UK people are enjoying good weather.

Hello Everyone

Thanks Mariana. I was looking at the Maclarens when thinking about buggies. Great idea about the shopping trolley. I was wondering how to carry everything with a sling but that is a really good tip.

I am trying to save now and luckily we got some of the IVF money back so we can use that to buy any baby stuff that we aren't given/lent. I know you are right about not spending much. I'm sure we will work it all out.

I'm sorry you have a hive on your face. I completely sympathise. I also have them come up on my face everyday completely randomly and most of the time it feels like something is crawling on my skin even if a bump doesn't come up. I am at my wits end with it all. However, I keep thinking that others have much worse things to deal with and I am grateful that it is not life threatening.

I'm so envious of your countryside day out. I'm stuck indoors trying to sort out the biggest piles of rubbish paperwork that you have ever seen. Thank heavens for EP on Sunday and singing musical theatre songs at the top of my voice. Goodness knows what Shazlett thinks her mum is up to .

Have a good day all.

Hello all. Hope you are having lovely weekends! We've seen lots of our family (and inflicted the scan DVD on them), which was nice, but I now have a horribly headache and nausea, so have returned to my bed.

shazz I know the money panics well.. DH's contract is only until jan or mar next year, which keeps making me feel rather stressed! His work want to renew it and hopefully this will happen, but it is frightening. I'm v impressed at all your exercise. I wanted to go to pregnancy yoga, but am still too nauseous and tired. I may try one of the DVDs instead...

mariana I may well check out the ML Techno. Sounds ace. Hope your day trip went well yesterday.

Hi ceara. I was soooo nervous before my 12 week scan and no doubt will be in the run up to my 21 week one. My one comfort at the mo is my growing tummy, although this may well be due to all the cake I'm eating!

buzz a tight handhold. It is all so hard. Hope you are doing ok. Do you have a scan this week?

I too am eating like a horse, mostly to stave off the nausea. I have stopped weighing myself... As long as the baby is ok, I don't really care how fat I get! And I am enjoying having some boobs for the first time in my life please may they stay post-baby

keep and expat phew at the heat where you live! I find I'm too hot a lot of the time anyway and couldn't cope with scorchio weather at the mo.

fairy I like the fumes excuse for lack of DIY. It's an excuse I may well steal!

Waves to everyone else.

I went on a clothes shopping mission on Friday afternoon and now finally have some stuff that fits me, yay! I've tried the eBay route, but nothing seems to fit that I manage to buy and some stuff isn't that much cheaper. Red Herring has 25% of its maternity stuff at the mo. For those of you in souf London, the Clapham Debenhams has a small range in store, and there's lots online too. I now have to stop buying stuff for myself and get saving for the post 21 weeks scan baby splurge...

Buzzy, hand holding from me too. For what it's worth I mc while on massive amounts of prog and it didn't stop me bleeding at all. Roll on Wednesday.

Mariana, I quite like the look of the ML. Do you think it would cope with a very cobbly town? I was considering just having a sling and a car seat for the first few months seeing that we'll either be driving, taking public transport or walking through the woods etc. Then I'd spend the money on a good buggy. Do you think that's a mad idea?

Shazza, your hives sound miserable. It must be horrible in the heat. I am prone to excema and very itchy dry skin so have a tiny bit of an insight into what you have to cope with. Is your allergy diet having any effect? It always comes down to money. We only get 15 weeks in Belgium so I will use some other leave to take it to 6 months but then I have to go back to work. I'm already getting weepy about it but that's the way it is.

Hi Noks. I would have liked morning sickness too. It would have made me feel properly pregnant.

I am wasting hours watching my belly jump. Am so in love with this bouncy baby.

Gin, it's alway fab to have a good shop.

Dildals, I hope all is okay.

Expat The allergy diet isn't working at the moment. Have you ever tried anything for eczema? Skin problems are pretty miserable aren't they? The only thing that I haven't cut out that I'm supposed to is fish but because I'm already veggie and dairy free, I'm worried to do that with the baby. I'll just keep trying until I hit upon something. I feel for you with the maternity leave. I'm also feeling emotional already at the thought of having to go back because of money. Who knows, maybe we will be running screaming from the house by then anyway! I'm so envious of your bouncing baby. I haven't felt anything yet and I'm dying to. Mainly to be reassured that it is still in there. But I think that it will help me bond with it abit. Things are very quiet down there at the moment. I'm also hoping to go fully sling at first. But I think we need a pram for DP and also my parents.

Gin Well done on the shopping expedition and the top tip re sales. I'm actually re-ebaying my 2 mistake buys at the moment. 2 pairs of jeans that just didn't fit. Yesterday I got another dress and a top. I agree that somethings go for not much cheaper. Maybe it is the thrill of the auction. I give myself a top limit on every item and don't go over. I lose most things but I've picked up a couple of bargains. I also want to wait now until after the 20 week scan and also when I'm abit bigger. I just don't know what I'm going to need. When is your scan? Have you felt anything yet? Sorry you are feeling sick. That sucks.

How is everyone else feeling today? I hope that you have had a good day. DP is at the studio again so I've got some time to myself. I'm having a gluten free fish finger sandwich for my tea and I can't wait. I found the gluten free fish fingers in Sainsburys and I was so excited!

Hello all
How is it Sunday already? I swear this weekend was put on fast forwards or something...!
Welcome to ceara - I know that feeling all too well of being over the moon and terrified to be over the moon all at the same time! I think everyone on here does! Take it one day at a time and one scan at a time. That's what I did to 12 weeks and now it seems to be getting easier.
buzzy I hope you are OK today. Thinking of you.
keep and shazza I feel very admiring of you two and your workouts. I've got an exercise bike which I've been sporadically using and two unopened DVDs (pilates and yoga) by the TV. I really need to use them!
shazz sorry to hear about maternity leave worries. It is stressful thinking about it. Our work policy was also worse than I thought. At least you don't have to make a final decision for ages though right?
mariana I hope you enjoyed your day out in the countryside!
Thanks for the Debenhams tip gin and glad you've got yourself sorted! I've now vowed not to buy any more maternity wear until the autumn at least - what with my second hand haul, Isabella Oliver online splurge and recent Gap haul (it was 30% off this weekend) I'm pretty well kitted out! I too am eating like a horse - but I can't use the nausea excuse! I guess I'm just a greedy cow :)
Expat I love the idea of your bouncing belly!
Waves to everybody else.
Had a very chilled weekend here - DH is away so went for a pregnancy massage yesterday and lunch with a friend today. Also watched two great movies on the Sky box - ' I give it a year' (genius) and 'The Impossible' (the one about the tsunami). Now just contemplating what to have for my tea. My head says soup, my heart says cheese on toast. Wonder what's going to win :)