Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Hello mrsH and everyone

We were ballroom dancing. It's great I really love it.

I was looking at the bugaboo bee. How different is the chameleon? Good info re royal choice. I commend your foresight. Oh God it's so confusing. We want to cover so many things, lightweight ( we live on 1st floor), ok on buses, good for car seat, ok from newborn, easy to fold and folds up small. AND affordable! It's a minefield. My parental unit is chipping in for the pram so that is a worry off our mind.

I was also up twice in the night. I'm usually only once but just couldn't sleep last night. Anyone hear on the news that pregnant women are now advised to avoid household chemicals and food in tins or plastic? Why don't they just confine us all in padded rooms until we have safely gestated the offspring that will carry the human race forward .

The bugaboos are lovely but dear god the cost! I can wholeheartedly not recommend the Chicco travel system. I had this first time round and it was rickety, heavy, hard to collapse and generally rubbish. It was third hand though via my sister. They are one of the cheapest brands and I suspect you get what you pay for to a certain extent.

I think I would go for a better make but seriously consider second hand. You can get my Sola with all the kit for about £150 on eBay which I think is very reasonable but it depends how you feel about second hand. DD2 has some things that she is the sixth baby to use and I'm still planning to pass on some to my cousin for use a seventh time!

(Conveniently ignoring use of planet raping disposables...)

I like the bugaboos but dont want to get somethig that KM will get which I know is ridiculous. Also like the uppababy but don't think it will get through the tram doors here. Shall check out mamas and papas. Also, do you have any experience of the concord neo?

Shazza, yes I heard that advice. Fabulously vague. A sort of you're doing it all wrong but we can't tell you how to do it right.

Morning all! The buggy chat is interesting. I think we'll wait until the 21 week scan before buying, but I am researching in the meantime and am totally overwhelmed by the choice! Our house is tiny, so we need something that folds up small, but must be ok to get on/off buses. My parents have offered to buy it too! I like the look of the mama and papas ones marianna. I think there's a m&p factory shop somewhere, which we may try.

Ballroom dancing shazz? It's all I can do to drag myself home to the sofa after a day at work! V impressed!

mrshy a royal pram for baby hy :) I am dreading they'll use one of my baby names, meaning we can't use it!

Thanks for the bumpology tip didals.< Plans an afternoon reading, erm I mean working!>

buzzy hope you are doing ok today. It is such a worrying time and I too had the small bean issue, as mentioned on t'other fred. I can imagine it's a hundred times harder with what you have been through in the past and I just don't know how I'd manage without DH about! Although mine kept going on about how 'mental' I was the morning of my scan. Thanks love, I think a few tears mad sobbing were allowed!

mariana TK Max is a great tip for baby stuff. I've got a lot of household stuff from there and hadn't thought of baby stuff. Your afternoon shopping with a sleeping baby sounds ace.

expat hope you are ok and feeling a bit better after your tough weekend.

Instadiffers still annoy/upset me. I know it shouldn't, but it does.

All ok here. Only 1 loo trip for me last night and I managed to sleep til 7, rather than 6 or earlier! I am still feeling sick though and also have a cold. The MW told me colds are good for the baby's immune system, but doesn't stop me feeling shite!

gin I think being 'mental' on the morning of your (7 wk? 12 wk?)scan is perfectly reasonable! My DH said I was more anxious than he had ever seen me before (which is going some). There aren't many other situations in life where the results are so stark and important.

We got an "out and about" jogger for DS and will be using it again for DD. It is very durable and lightweight, the only problem being because it is designed for jogging (which I did do quite a bit of) it has a really long wheelbase which can be a pain in shops. Folds up easily enough. It also is a facing forward style so when DS was v young that meant I couldn't keep an eye on him all the time.

I heard that "advice" from RCOG this morning on the today programme too. It seemed to me to boil down to "there may be a risk, we don't know, but given that we can't rule it out, it's best that you avoid it". Which would be fine if the thing to avoid were say, Amazonian frog venom or powdered unicorn horn. But given that it's things that are in heavy daily use by just about everyone it seems rather irresponsible to me, particularly given how emotional one becomes over exposing your baby to a 'risk'. How can you even quantify or identify a risk from such common and heavily used things? Does that mean that every baby born in the last 50 years in our society is missing a few IQ points? I really don't understand it.

Thanks fairy! It was the 12 week scan and I just ignored him swore at him a bit

I know re the news - basically EVERYTHING is bad for us. It's hard enough as it is, without not being allowed to eat anything pre packed/ tinned. And if you eat fresh, you're risking toxiplasmosis etc etc. I just try to be sensible and avoid anything with definite risks. They seem to keep changing their minds anyway - I was rather pleased to see Stilton is now allowed!

Right, better do some work...

I thought it was a dreadful report 'there may be risks but we don't know, so we advise pg women to be careful'. Wtaf are you supposed to do with that?! I can only drink bottled water here. You have to just be realistic.

mrsH I Can't believe you're looking at prams next week!! How exciting. I will not be doing anything till at least 25 weeks - we move back to the UK at 22 weeks, then have to find a house, move in, sort MW care and birth etc.... Eek.

There is no way I would spend that on a prams, nice as it looks. My sister's cast offs, eBay, or cheaper models are my cup of tea I think.

It's just a pram, no? Or am I missing something vital?

Oh shaz I tried the pillow thing and though it was comfy I just turned away from it in the night. Onto my tummy, argh....

Hi ladies

Keep I'm glad the pillow helped abit. You get used to it. I was thinking to put one each side for when I turn over but there wouldn't be much room for DP!

I'm also considering a secondhand pram purchase even if my parents are buying. Even better if someone gives us one but everyone I know still has one in use with their second child or has a second on the way. I'm still hoping to use a sling mostly anyway.

Fairy that might account for some of the ignorant people out there! I agree that we can't avoid everything. It seems to be indicative of our 'put warning labels on everything' society. As Keep said we have to be realistic and we are all doing out best. Re jogger I can't run for toffee so that is one pram I can cross off my list. Good to know they work for those who do though and they aren't just branding hype that I fear so many of these prams are.

Gin we are going to wait abit re pram too. Mainly because we have to decorate every room in our flat so there is no point buying it yet. In mothercare they told me about a scheme where you can order stuff, pay bit by bit and then they deliver it all near the due date. Sorry about your cold. I didn't know that about the baby's immune system. I was also mental before every scan. I think it's normal. I am quite an anxious person sometimes but pregnancy is the most worrying experience I have every had.

Mariana we are definitely secondhand Roses in our house. Along with handmade. I've got all my knitters on the case re clothes but sadly they can't knit me a pram! I'm going to visit everyone I know with a toddler in a van to collect stuff!

Everyone else ok? If there are any lurkers hello to you too.

Very quiet day inside me today. I can't feel shazlett anyway yet but no stretching today or any sensations to indicate there is someone in there.

Hope you are all ok and had a good day.

stops eating beans straight out of tin what this is bad for me I get tired of all this so called expert advice. Just before I went off for IVF they were saying that women who leave having kids till later on have a higher risk of breast cancer really kick while i'm down why don't you.

I did have a look at some stuff in TK Maxx before and bought a cute little all in one, sadly I miscarried so I put it away in my MIL's loft along with the items I knitted

keep I also looked on Ebay at prams in the past, there are some good deals

Isn't KM due in July, I'm surprised the sex has been kept a secret this long

gin what kind of baby names do you have it is understandable that you would be anxious about your scan, I'm used to doing things on my own so Barry being away doesn't make much difference, he would only smother me if he was here

shazza ballroom dancing, i'm impressed, DH and I are too uncoordinated for anything like that

thank you for your support ladies, I have been feeling pretty crap the last couple of days, indigestion and sickness, I have cycilzine and Buccastem, neither really helping, my concern is that I'm on high levels of progesterone and prednisolone and I'm eating like a horse, have already gained 4 kilos, I am just constantly hungry but only carbs and stoggie stuff, last week it was hoummous and toast, today its cheese, beans and toast

Buzzy cheese and beans on toast sounds delicious. I know it is easy for me to say but you have enough on your plate to add eating worries on top. You have a cocktail of drugs taking their toll along with all the other worry. Maybe once you are feeling better it will even out abit? And hummous and beans and cheese are all excellent protein. At least you are not eating cakes and kebabs.

Re ballroom dancing we are not going to win strictly anytime soon, we can't even get through a whole dance yet without stopping but we are getting better and we really enjoy it. We started when all the fertility pressure was getting to us and we'd forgotten to have fun. Now we laugh throughout the class. It's great.

buzzy I understand about putting clothes away in the loft - when I first started TTC my second I bought for a friend who had just given birth a gorgeous little dress for a girl baby (blue, a Japanese style block print, from Polarn O Pyret). Then I found I liked it so much I couldn't give it to my friend . I kept it in my drawer at work because I just felt superstitious about bringing it at home. Then as the months passed I started to feel that I would never have that baby so I piled a bunch of work stuff on top of it and tried not to look at it. But now I have got it out again and although I am not up to bringing it home just yet it isn't the sad thing lurking that it has been. I hope the items in your MIL's loft go through the same transformation for you.

fairy I don't plan to do much until i'm about 20 weeks, I would like to do some more knitting though

shazza I'm a big girl anyway so its alot of weight to gain in a month and loosing weight when pregnant is not easy, I don't want to end up with gestational diabetes either

buzzy I have been craving carbs too. Just had to have marmite on toast even though I had already had my tea. I blame a thread I read in chat about marmite on toast. I have been craving it ever since.

I am waiting until after 20 week before getting anything. I might have a look at buggies on the net but am not getting anything.

I am having my blood taken tomorrow ready for my nt screening a week on Monday. I am going for bob the sample straight to the clinic rather than trust putting it in the post.

sweetie I am in the HATE marmite camp although DH is hoping I will convert

Gah, I want marmite on toast now and I'm in bed so can't.

I bought nothing for DD2 before she was born. I've still not bought her any clothes as I have all DD1s and people have bought me lots of (pink) things for her. I've got her some things for her room though so I'm not totally neglecting her.

I am absolutely knackered. I have forgotten what normal feels like.

Marmite, yum yum. With LOADS of butter!!!

I'm sorry buzzy I hope I didn't upset you. I appreciate it's hard. I just thought maybe the drugs are playing their part because it doesn't sound like you are eating bad things. It's a horrible time for you and I wish for you to feel better.

Fairy that sounds like a beautiful dress. Your little tinkerbell is going to be pretty as a picture.

Good luck with the bloods today sweetie.

Mariana I feel for you. We have it all to come. How is the colic now? Of course you aren't neglecting trenchlet

My new paranoia is that my bump isn't big enough. I've got my 20 scan in 3 weeks and I hope I grow more in that time.

After yesterday's warnings on the news DP wants to pack me off when we start glossing the woodwork. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go!

Have a good day all.

Hello girls.

Buzzy, I really don't think this is the time to beat yourself up. Be nice to yourself.

Shazza, I didn't really have a bump until around 24 weeks last time. It's all popped out this time and my bump is a big as a colleagues who's due in 2 weeks!

I love marrmite. Very buttery soldiers with marmite to have with boiled egg. yum.

Sorry to not be reading the thread more closesly. I'm so busy at work I have no energy by the time I get home. I had a check up this morning and all is well - slowly inching towards 28 weeks. 26,5 today.

I'm sure I saw something up thread about upduffed announcements. I get jealous when someone announces a second or third pregnancy. Silly, I know. I try to tell myself that if you're going to be jealous of something you have to be jealous of the whole package and it helped a little when a friend announced her 4th baby because I really wouldn't want her alcoholic arse of a dh

Gin, I'm doing okay thanks. Starting to feel a bit more confident.

I know I started the marmite debate but am going to have to have marmite soldiers with boiled egg for lunch. I was planning to have salad but that is just not as appealing.

Midwife has called this morning to say I don't need to be taking increased dose of folic acid for my twin pregnancy. Apparently she has checked with senior midwife. I don't know if to just get some and start taking a couple of extra a day to supplement my pregnacare vits. it can't hurt can it?

I've been lurking and too scared to join you on this thread until my first scan, as I was terrified there would be nothing there.

Just back from hospital and for today anyway, it is confirmed I am 6+6 following FET in May, with a little bean that's the right size and has a good heartbeat. This is the furthest down this path we have ever been; my first IVF ended in a chemical pregnancy and prior to that, nothing for 3 years of trying on our own. I used to think the 2ww was bad but I have never been more terrified or closer to losing my sanity than I am right now!

Can I join you for some hand holding please? Buzzy, I think we are at about the same stage and kind of similar situations in that I have ZERO pregnancy symptoms and am also having spotting. The clinic could find no reason today for the spotting so I just have to wait it out and try to stay positive and hope the spotting stops, but it's hard. Hope you are doing OK and hanging in there keeping up the positivity and cheese on toast. Good luck for your next scan.

Hi to everyone else too.

Congratulations ceara and it's totally normal to be nervous after what you've been through. Come and be mental here and you'll blend right in! (Spotting is very common too.)

Shaz you still have stomach muscles so that's why you'll have a neater bump. By the time I was on my fourth pregnancy I was out of normal jeans at about 6 weeks!

I'm also jealous of 3rd and 4th pregnancies - I think they're being greedy!

Hello ceara and welcome to the fretting thread. Seeing a heartbeat is great news - congratulations!

Hi ceara welcome and congratulations! Brilliant news. We have all been dreadful up to our 12 weeks scans, then it gets easier.

expat you're doing great! Any other pain? Are you at work or off?

I have bleeding gums this evening when I brush. Anyone else? I only went to the dentist ten days ago, he said I had v mild gingivitis, nothing to worry about.

ceara welcome and congrats on your little bean.

shazza I don't think size of bump really has much to do with size of baby (although there is a vague correlation later in pregnancy which is why they measure you) because a lot depends on your shape (some women stick out in front, others go out all over), how many pregnancies you have, how much fluid you are carrying etc. Just be glad you are not already huge and ungainly like me! PS my DH painted the kitchen a few weeks ago and I was very very happy to use the excuse that I shouldn't be inhaling fumes to have naps instead of chipping in.

Welcome ceara and congratulations. Very exciting to see a heartbeat. You don't need to worry about being worried. Its normal here. We are all in the same boat. Nice to have you on board.

Sweets I'm not sure about the extra folic acid. If they told crisps then maybe you should take some. What did dildals do? It's good that there are 3 of you to compare notes. I'll look in the books I have at home and see what they say.

Expat good to hear from you. I hope you aren't working too hard although keeping busy helps the time to tick by. You are doing great.

Fairy, expat and Mariana thanks for the reassurance re the bump. Actually it seems a bit bigger today but that might be wind . I think the 'oh you're not very big are you?' Comments started to play on my mind. I don't want to let shazlett down but I can't eat anymore!

Now I can't remember the other posts. Sorry if there is something I've forgotten.

Hello to everyone else

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