Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

[Shazzamattazzerly]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Babies are innately immensely sociable but she is a bit young for that just yet. I think they generally start smiling around 4 weeks and start 'chatting' around 12 perhaps but making all sorts of noises before then like snuffles, grunts and squeaks. Trenchlet now breaks off from feeding to look up at me, make a long cheerful announcement and then get back to her feed.

I don't use Facebook so know nothing of it.

As long it doesn't mean she's uncomfortable or in distress.

Hi ladies

I'm taking a break from the decorating marathon to catch up. IVF been cooking all day. 2 soups, biscuits, muffins, pasta with homemade pesto for lunch. Teas, drinks etc. it's good though. I'm glad we have made a start.

Dildals thanks for the offer re FB. I don't want to give you more to think about Though. We have unplugged the Internet today for decorating but ill get online tomorrow. I think we should have a different name but I'm rubbish at this. Noks is good at comedy names. Noks what do you think? I think we should make the group secret then we can feel comfortable with privacy if we post pics of the babies.

I'm shocked about the news that 1. There is a chance that the hospital cocked up and 2 they moved bella without telling you. I don't know how you reconcile such news. But you are right. Getting angry wont help you, DP or Bella and sadly won't bring darling Georgia back. It is still such a painful situation though and my heart goes out to you every day. Thank God our bella is getting stronger and going so well. The idea of her chatting to you is so beautiful.

I'm afraid I laughed at your comment of DH getting into the massage. Mind you I've just had my first attempt and believe me there is NOTHING erotic about it. I don't think I was doing it right. It was really awkward

Mariana yet again you are the font of all knowledge. The body silk sounds perfect and ill look out for one. I didn't wAnt to have to buy more bras now then even more for breast feeding.

Keep I'm 26+3 so at the tail end of the 2nd tri. 28 weeks is the upgrade I think. I can't tell you how excited I am at the thought of having to go to bravissimo. That is a shop for ladies with big boobs. I have never ever had big boobs! I'm thrilled with my new rack

We are going out for dinner as there is nowhere to sit and eat here due to painting the lounge/ dining room.

Let me know your thoughts about the name for the Fb page. Xx

shaz it's OK, I get quite bored at the night time expressing sessions. I have ordered The Fall box set to keep me entertained, although gruesome murders may turn my milk sour ;-).

Yes I am afraid they could have handled it better/cocked up. There is always room for human error with these things unfortunately. Having Bella is the life saviour I think. She's our miracle girl. Today when I held her she was reaching out and I kept kissing her hand. So cute. I wish there was some miracle gro we could pour over her and take her home tomorrow.

Hi dildals ok well if you really have nothing to do in the wee hours then that would be great. Thanks. especially as you know how to do it and im so ignorant about these things! Now we need to think of a name.

I can't wait to meet bella one day. What a special, brave little girl. Do you know when there might be a chance you can take her home?

Xx

Hi all- just a quick post from our holiday cottage. I promised DS I would not spend the week staring at my phone and he has been policing me accordingly.

First of All - congrats to everyone with the scans! So nice to see everything going along the way it should. My little one is very active these days, roiling and kicking and stretching, which is quite uncomfortable when squished in the car.

dildals it's great that Bella has moved on, as you say she isn't sick, just premature. And so lovely that she has been making noises and you got to hold her hand! It's these little things about having a baby that bring so much joy.

shazza I have to admit the thought of getting my DH to try perineal massage is just...actually I can't even imagine it. He has virtually no manual dexterity. He can't even do up a necklace clasp. I tried it once or twice on myself when I was pg before and it seemed to do nothing except creep me out. I will think abt FB names, I like to think we won't be primarily worriers forever.
mariana thanks for the list, it is really helpful! Def want to try the nappy in the bra look.

Right DH is back from walk and I need to hide illicit phone use. Hi to everyone else, sorry for lack of personals!

shaz OK, I need a name first though! Noks You are tasked with coming up with a good name! (Other suggestions welcome).

On coming home - we still have many weeks, months of the same ahead of us I am afraid. Ground Hog Day.

fairy have a nice holiday!

I think I have uploaded a photo of Bella on MN, if I have done it all correctly.

Oh fuck. No pressure then !

I will do a spot of Custer posting tomorrow to catch-up properly. Right now, I am rubbing my Mr Greedy tummy having just returned from the curry emporium. Mmmmmmmmm curry. Nom nom nom.

I just wanted to say what a total cutie pie Bella is. dildals you are a complete inspiration to everyone here. You tell Bella that she has her MN aunties all willing her to get bigger every day, and give her big old sloppy aunties kisses from us too.

Anyway, I just wanted to share something from the curry house tonight (nope, not my dhansak). I thought I would warn him indoors about the upcoming nct/ hypnobirthing extravaganza (break him in early-he squeaks and curses uncontrollably if he's startled). So, I start off by warning him that we will be going to nct classes...he looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights. 'Fooking hell' says he (he's northern) 'am I going to have to fok about with a plastic baby ?'. 'Yes' says I. He laughs and seems to accept his fate.

He then gets quite confused when I start to mention hypnobirthing (but seems to understand the premise) and we also have a conversation about me booking in for a water birth at the same time. I tell him that we could go to classes but it may be better to have someone come to the house to teach us. He nods. He then goes back to the water birth thing and says 'well the baby will learn how to swim early then'. He then thinks for a whole longer and says 'so, will the woman who teaches us about the hypnobirthing also go upstairs and run a bath?'.

By Christ in a bendy bus, we have a long way to go before he gets all this malarkey. I daren't even mention the perineum massage. That's for another day.....

Gorgeous picture Dildals. Such a sweetie!

What a little beauty dildals. Thank you for sharing her with us. I know it's hard to imagine but in a couple of years she'll be chattering away as she trashes your house!

noks it can be a steep learning curve for them. DH would have much rather sat in a waiting room somewhere.

noks hypnobirthing is a lot to ask for a Northern husband! Does he realise already that this may require him attending courses, ie he may not be able to do what he wants on Sunday morning 10am?

Oh I want to see a pic of bella but can't log on to the net at the mo and logging into MN via 3G is taking forever. So I'm stuck on the app. I'll look later.

Noks I nearly choked on my breakfast at your conversation over the curry. Classic. You did well not to broach the subject of massage at the same time. I've been drip feeding DP info for many months. He has a short attention span and is distracted easily so I can't keep him with me for long. I have to trust that he will come back with questions later. Which to be fair he always does. He is now really into Hypno so keep faith. Once you get going on classes DP will come round.

Fairy I'm also hiding in the bedroom posting while the work is going on in the lounge.

Re names for FB. I agree that we won't be pregnant IVF worriers forever. Even if we worry we are also very positive now. I'm very proud of us.

I'd better get back to it. I'll log on to see bella later. Xx

Ps can you believe that we've nearly filled another thread?

dildals bella is beautiful. So lovely to read of her reaching out towards you and "chattering" - and brilliant news that she is doing well enough to be moved one step nearer to going home, though unbelievable that they didn't tell you. Obviously you are producing great baby "grow-more" yourself for her, she seems to be doing well on it. I'm so sorry to hear though that you have had to go through hearing that the hospital made mistakes in their care of Georgia and you. I'll be thinking of Georgia, and of you and Mr Dildals and Bella - and like everyone else, cheering Bella on to grow grow grow.

gin, buzzy vall yaay to good scan news (though boo to gin's fibroid). I am trying to hold out for the 20 week scan now, having heard the heartbeat at my midwife appointment last week, but 4 weeks seems ages so I may crumble. buxx I hope your sickness is easing a bit?

The hypnobirthing sounds very intersting, definitely something I am going to look into also. I think in our house DH - despite generations of Yorkshiremen behind him - would be fascinated by perineal massage and well up for assisting with that (I will no doubt be the one who'd grossed out by it). Does this mean I win our longrunning argument that despite still saying "bath" not "barth", northern roots don't trump southern upbringing?!

Mariana thank you for sharing the list, and (I think) for "keeping us real" with the bra nappies and puppy pads.

On the happier subject of bras and shopping, shazz I went to bravissimo in Covent Garden and they were brilliant. It was easy to get a same day appointment either at lunch time or after work (they open until 7). I would recommend the evening as they are less busy so can spend more time with you. I was there ages despite it being officially a 20 minute appointment. They do have a different sizing philosophy to JL and deemed me to be 2 band sizes smaller than I've worn for 20 years, meaning a commensurately ginormously increased cup size. The letter actually makes me want to cry (and not with happiness) but I have been very comfortable in the scaffolding bras they sold me and will be back for more when the inevitable further expansion happens. They have a coffee shop style loyalty scheme which offers one free bra for every 10 you buy though best not to think too hard about how much that means you would be spending on bras during your pregnancy and afterwards.

So, I think for me the non-specifically fat-but-no-bump ate-too-many-pies stage has hit, I fear. Unusually I had to scrub up and wear suits to work every day last week - haven't had to go anywhere requiring a suit since before 12 weeks and so loose summer dresses and cardigans have enabled me to stay in denial about the bloat. The buttons and zips on some items I had blithely assumed I could wear didn't, um, button and zip like they did a month ago. I still have to tidy the mes I made of my room flinging things into a corner in panicked frustration as the last possible minute for leaving the house and still catching my train got inexorably closer. I did weigh myself yesteday and have gained only a modest and appropriate amount of weight most of it crisps so it is clearly all siting on my chest and at the point where my suits button, dammit, and laughing at me. No bump and too early for maternity clothes. And I have a rerun of last week's wardrobe crisis in a fortnight's time when suits are required again. Aaargh! The worst part was being annoyed nothing fitted as I thought it should and then feeling guilty for being annoyed because after winning the IVF lottery any sort of grumbling or negativity seems unbelievably shallow and ungrateful :-)

fairy your holiday sounds blissfully remote and relaxing. We are not going away til October. I am so jealous!

MrsHY hope all is well with you after your post-exercise scare?

I have the official OK to resume exercise now but my teacher is concerned about the hematoma still being present, so I'm not sure what to do. After all we've been through to get this far, I guess I should err on the side of couch potato...

Aw Dildals I love the picture you have shared of Bella, she has loads of fair hair. Bless her, so cute.

Nok I have quietly broached NCT with my very Northern DH. He is very reserved so I really can not imagine him getting down and dirty with the whole birthing scenario. He has said he will come to classes but I don't think he has grasped the whole thing yet.

I am also not sure if to bother doing NCT as I have posted on the multiple page about this and have had mixed replies. I have made enquiries on the NCT page for my area and they have come back to say they would recommend completing at least 8 weeks before due date. So I am not sure how much use this would be for me to get to know other Mums who will be ages behind me. It is a lot of money if it will be a waste of time.

Cerea I know what you mean about the not-pregnant-enough-for-people-to-know but sporting the I-ate-all-the-pies look. I am finding the changing body shape hard to deal with but still feel blessed to be having these worries. I think work attire is much more difficult that casual, I even bought some maternity tights this week and don't even get me started on foot wear. Grrrr.

Also just to let you all know Bambino Direct has a sale on at the moment (inc free delivery), but it ends tonight. The Mountain Duet buggy is only £409 after discount, it was originally the cheapest price going at £430. Might be worth having a look if anyone is considering big purchases.

Gah I'm so behind! Sorry everyone! Hope you?ve all had lovely weekends.

Gin ? another girl ? yippee! It does make shopping fun. I think I told you about DH?s haul at Baby Gap at the picnic? Well, he got some really cute things including the world?s smallest pair of peach coloured jeggings. Oh, and a lilac cardie with a matching hat with inbuilt ears! How are you feeling now about the prospect of the C-section? I take it that things can change between now and later on in the pregnancy though?

Buzzy I?m sorry to hear that you?re still feeling shitty. You poor thing. I can?t wait to see if the Chinese Gender Predictor is actually right in your case!!

Welcome home keep! Funny what you say about the little one having a good kick about. I still jump every time mine stretches her long femurs/ head butts me. I find it particularly ticklish when it?s sort of behind my belly button area if that makes sense?

Hello shazz, really pleased you?re enjoying your hypno classes! We indeed had ours last Wednesday and have also been practicing. Have you covered the light touch massage yet? I?m loving that!! Oh, and it was me that went to the Oxford Pram Centre but only online as we knew exactly what we wanted ? but we did save a packet on the John Lewis prices.

Dildals I?m so pleased Bella is doing well but I can only imagine how traumatic it was when they moved her. It?s quite understandable that you?d want her to be in the place where she?s going to get the most 1-1 attention. But on the flip side, it?s great she?s doing so well. Keep pumping that milk sister! Oh, and she?s totally georgeous ☺

Val great news on the scan!

Ceeara Bravissimo sounds great. Do they also do nursing bras? Yes I?ve been fine since the strange leaky incident thank you ? have been back on the old exercise bike (finding out how much weight I?d gained at my last scan has motivated me somewhat, even though I?m not going to worry too much about it as life is too fecking short) and so far so good.

Hi to expat, fairy, Mariana and Noks. I?m up for a Fbook group!

LOL at all the talk of ?intimate massaging?! My friend tried to persuade her husband to help her by telling him it was ?just like fingering.? Needless to say, that didn?t work and she ended up flying solo ☺

Nothing to report here. Little Miss is getting wrigglier! I have my consultant appt in a couple of weeks' time, but he midwife has said it'll have no bearing on me being able to have baby at home (given I'm currently 'high risk'. PS did everyone see the study reported on BBC Online where researchers have found that natural gestation periods can vary from 37 to 44 weeks I think it was? Basically blows a hole in an estimated due date and calls into question whether women should be pressured into being induced if they go past 42 weeks. Interesting stuff.

MrsHY yes they had a reasonable range of nursing bras, some of which were also available - without the detachable straps - as "regular" soft cup bras.

dildals Bella is gorgeous :)

noks you made me spit out my tea Barry (not his real name) is totally fraked out by what is going on in my nether regions, not that he has been down that way recently

shazza did you say you rent out your parents for DIY

ceara I'm with you on the wardrobe front, I was totally peeved the other week, I now have some mat clothes and just stick my stomach out so I at least look the part

mrsh I am feeling better today, just shattered after putting the flat straight

waves to everyone else

We have quite a busy day, we have new windows boring middle age emoticon I am very excited about this , had a bit of a trauma with the cat, getting her into the cat box, she suddenly becomes octopussy with more legs than I can fit into the hole at one time then we have to pack up her litter tray, food, treats, comfort cushion, yes I did say that and feliway spray, so the workmen can get on with things, now I need to sleep off all the tidying up

Just popping in quickly to say OMG didals, what a gorgeous little girl! She is so cute, and all that lovely blonde hair :) You must be so proud. I hope she's still doing well.

Yay val and buzz for good scans! Great news all round. noks good luck for yours.

So I'm not the only one with a northern DH?! He's coming to NCT with me, but won't go to the free classes for men at the hospital led by a male midwife, cos it would be 'weird' sitting round with men talking about babies apparently ... God knows what he'd make of hypnobirthing or p massage. Cutting and painting my toe nails is too much to ask apparently!

Is it northern men or is it just men?

There should be a grooming service for the heavily pregnant where a kindly lady comes to your house and deals with everything from the waist down. Except perhaps perineal massage. That would be a step too far.

Hello ladies

More later just wanted to say how amazing Bella is. She is so beautiful. Oh my. Thank you for sharing her with us dildals.

Xx

I agree I think it is general man thing. Mariana you could be onto something with a beauty service that caters for pregnant needs. I visited a friend and her 4 week DD, I mentioned my DH wouldn't cut my toenails. She said neither would her DH or shave her legs. I think p massage just won't be happening for most ladies.

Buzzy hope the cat has coped ok with the window fitting, and they haven't left you with too much mess.

I am back from my 20 week scan. All was ok, twins both measuring bang on track and no difference between them. Both heads are high in my abdomen and legs down to my pelvis area. I have anterior and posterior placentas which is why I haven't felt much so far. We asked about the sexes, T2 is definitely a girl and she thought T1 is a boy but the umbilical cord was slightly in the way. So this throws the great naming debate wide open as I had been thinking of complimentary same sex names. Mariana I might need your help on this front. Of course we are delighted, but we weren't bothered what combination we got as we feel so blessed to be in this position. I was convinced I was having 2 boys so it just goes to show, I hadn't done the Chinese predicator thingy either.

My OH is got a fair % of Welsh blood in him, maybe that makes all the difference ;-)

just watched a pernineal massage on utube, I am so going to show Barry