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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

999 replies

Shazzamattazzerly · 02/06/2013 17:11

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

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Shazzamattazzerly · 09/08/2013 10:12

Hello a quick post re pics. I have a couple from the picnic. I haven't checked them yet so im not sure if they are any good but wondered if anyone objected if I started a Facebook group? I don't use Fb much so haven't a clue how to do it but it can't be that hard. 'Young people' do it all the time Grin. I think we can make it private so that noone can see it except us. Is this something that everyone would like to do?

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Shazzamattazzerly · 09/08/2013 10:12

We could post mariana's famous list!

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SweetieTime · 09/08/2013 10:59

oh I proper luffs a list too. I have been making a note of stuff I have seen recommend but not bought anything yet. a friend sent me an email with links to all the things she had found useful so I have that tucked away for reference.

MarianaTrench · 09/08/2013 11:06

Ill try to post the list up here, it's just the formatting that's a problem but I've just thought I can 'preview' until I get it right. Otherwise it makes it sound like a Top Secret List, which it really isn't!

Good luck for later Vallinna. There's no reason to think there'll be any change from last weeks perfect scan is there?!

The though of involving my partner in perineal massage makes me want to cry.

Shazzamattazzerly · 09/08/2013 11:13

My plan is to do the massage myself until such a time as my downstairs region becomes an unreachable mystery to me then ill have to bite the bullet and involve DP. At this point the threat of tearing or being cut means that I'm willing to try it at least. And let's face it pretty soon the performance of my undercarriage is going to come under scrutiny anyway Blush xx

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Shazzamattazzerly · 09/08/2013 11:21

Gin how kind of amazon to recommend the oil. Very thoughtful!

Thanks for the offer of a lift. We could have a double date at kiddicareSmile

I'm also planning a spreadsheet comparing pushchairs and using Mariana's list. Kiddicare Croydon isn't going to know what hit it when we show up!

Expat so have you got a date for the cs. I think that at least it's reassuring that you know when the baby will arrive.

Mariana good to know that it all worked for your friend. I'm going to really give it a go but like I say try to remain open minded and flexible should an intervention become necessary.

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MarianaTrench · 09/08/2013 11:28

Here is the list...

Baby essentials list
*starred things are very useful depending on circs but not essential

Clothes:

6 newborn vests (short or long sleeved body suits with popper bottoms)

6 newborn sleepsuits (poppers up front with legs, feet and long sleeves)

3 long sleeved 0-3 months vests (in case of big baby)

6 0-3 month sleepsuits

4 trousers or dresses 0-3 months*

Sunhat / winter hat

4 pairs of socks

2 jackets / thicker cardigans 0-3 months

1 newborn hat

2 pairs scratch mittens (socks can be used instead when you inevitably lose them)

Wash all clothes in non bio before using them.

Feeding:

6 pack minimum of muslin cloths

Breast pump* (if bottle feeding: bottles / teats / bottle brush / formula / microwave steriliser)

Dim bedside light for night feeds*

Sleeping:

Cot (with new mattress)

Moses basket* (with new mattress - get cheapo one as you'll not use it for long).

4 cellular blankets (2 large 2 small ? good for pram, cot, feeding)

4 fitted sheets for cot and moses basket

2 baby sleeping bags: lightweight 1 tog for summer babies, 2.5 for rest of year. (TK Maxx do Grobag ones cheap. Check minimum weight before use though.)

Bathing:

Baby bath

4 baby sized bath towels (ordinary hand towels are fine)

Olive oil to rub on baby's skin - ordinary kitchen stuff, nothing special

Nail scissors / Timy nail clippers (Mothercare ones good.)

Sudocreme

Ramer sponge*

Baby wash (I didn't use until about 12 weeks)*

Changing:

Changing mats (one for upstairs and one downstairs, foam ones with toweling covers or put muslin over a plastic one - Boots do them for about £7 - changing tables totally unnecessary)

1 pack newborn nappies (size 1)

1 pack 0-3 month nappies (size 2)

Cotton wool

Nappy sacks

Wipes

For you (this bit is awful but essential):

Breast pads (washable or disposable, if washable get at least 8. If you really suffer with leaking at first stick a newborn size nappy in each bra cup, they absorb gallons of liquid, although you'll look a bit mad.)

Lansinoh nipple cream if breastfeeding (expensive but accept no alternatives)

Breast feeding vests for sleeping in*

Massive comfy cotton knickers in case of section or just to contain huge maternity pads (instead of the disposable knickers the lists say you need. Primark / Asda do packs of 5 for about £1, get a size up from normal)

Couple of dark coloured towels for showering or sleeping on (there will be blood)

Squirty top mineral water bottle (for post stitches weeing - squirt warm water at your poor beleaguered fanny to stop it from being agonizing. Midwives say to get in the shower when you need to wee but this is more convenient.)*

Maternity pads (don?t be tempted to use Always etc as they can irritate stitches. Boots do thick cushioned ones that are good for first week then thinner ones for the next couple of weeks)

Pampers bed mats* (good for sleeping on few days before ? just in case waters go in the night and afterwards if have heavy bleeding or if leaking milk everywhere. Found in nappy section)

Pain killers (you can have paracetamol, ibuprofen or voltarol while breastfeeding).

Preparation H cream*

Lactulose*

Travel:

Pushchair / pram suitable from birth

Car seat (size 0 or from birth)

Washing:

Nonbiological powder

Vanish spray (baby poo stains everything and non bio powder isn't good at shifting it.)

General:

Fan, depending on time of year*

Room thermometer

Ear thermometer (get the expensive Braun ear one, cheap ones are unreliable and when you're panicking about a fever at 3am you want to know the thermometer is accurate.)

Bouncy chair (cheap one is fine, don't need all the vibrating electric ones)

A freezer full of food ? especially stuff you can eat one handed*

Lidded thermos cup to make cups of tea safer*

Extra pillows on your bed*

Phone charger by bed*

vallinnapod · 09/08/2013 11:30

Yep, I too am Shock at the thought of DH getting involved with pernineal massage. I would let him do my Gestone injections so that probably gives you an idea of my trust in him Grin And for the record, with a minor amount of contortion you can always reach, just not necessarily see...!

Ginestas I used to make myself late for work as I never used to get out of bed until I had felt DS wriggle!

3.5 hours to go Wink. Actually feeling quite crampy last night and today. Hopefully just stretching.

MarianaTrench · 09/08/2013 11:30

Longest post evah!

SweetieTime · 09/08/2013 12:23

Mariana thank you so much for doing the list. Amazing detail, loads of stuff on there that I would not have thought about. I am going to transfer to a spreadsheet so I can start ticking stuff off as I get it.

Buzzybee123 · 09/08/2013 12:27

yay to FB page shazza yes best to do it yourself while you can, I'm not sure about DH doing it for me, young people, are we not young Wink my aussie physio refers to me as has english mum Hmm

mariana that is a great list, I wouldn't know where to begin

vall good luck for later today, I have had a bit of cramping along the way

Shazzamattazzerly · 09/08/2013 13:16

Mariana you are a legend. There is stuff on there that the books don't tell you. Squirts bottle, dark towels, preph etc.

Aren't lists reassuring? I just LOVE ticking things off.

Buzz sadly when it comes to Facebook, twitter etc i haven't much of a clue and feel ancient. But I'll do a group over the weekend and let you know.

Good luck Vall.

X

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keepitgoing · 09/08/2013 15:06

Omg I am having visions of us all with nappies in our bras.

Thanks Mariana that's just awesome!

vallinnapod · 09/08/2013 16:36

Vallembyro doing all it should. Now just over 1cm. Thankfull discharged from clinic. Will still have at least one more visit for a prescription pick up but hopefully just in and out. Sooooo glad to see the back if them.

Shazzamattazzerly · 09/08/2013 16:49

Vall that is brilliant news. Congratulations. It is a great feeling to leave the clinic being pregnant. Although I felt terrible for all those in the waiting room that I had to walk past.

Nice thought Keep although there is no room in my bra for a nappy at the mo! I really need to get refitted. John Lewis didn't have any appts the other day. My mat jeans are also now too tight. I haven't worn them much either cause it has been too hot. My advice to those who have yet to grow is think forward and leave plenty of room for growth. I thought I had with these jeans but i was only thinking of the bump and didn't allow for the bigger bum and thighs.

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keepitgoing · 09/08/2013 17:40

Congratulations vall, so pleased for you. That is one scary scan, isn't it?

Oh shaz that's bad news on the jeans front, just as its getting colder! I just bought a pair, got my usual pre preg size, so hoping I don't bulge out too soon. I think go to a bravissimo for measuring, better than JL. Ooh you must just be entering the third trimester. Nice one!

MarianaTrench · 09/08/2013 18:12

Hurrah vall. That's great!

Dildals · 09/08/2013 18:14

Re mariana's list OR just nick the bedmats from the hospital. They have sanitary pads too, but they don't stick to your underpants, which is ... well ... pants!

Re Facebook. Yes. I was thinking of posting a photo on MN, but is it possible to post a photo without the whole of MN being able to see it?!

Ginestas Yes I have seen QOTSA live, in Brixton Academy. The way that man handles his guitar makes me think he's quite good at handling, full stop, IYKWIM. :-) Dave Grohl doesn't do it for me.

We had our appt with the consultant obstetrician to review 'what went wrong'. I was really nervous but luckily I kept it together. And he was OK too. Basically, the hospital fucked up, but also it is impossible to say that if things had been handled differently there would have been a different outcome. But to be fair, a different (better) outcome would have been likely. DH and I decided that feeling angry/bitter about it is not going to be helpful or bring Georgia back. I do want them to learn some lessons. It's weird. If I make a mistake at work, it costs money. If they make a mistake at work, people die. Glad I am not in medicine.

Bella got moved to SCBU today. I went up to NICU and went 'THAT'S NOT MY BABY!! WHERE IS MY BABY!' A search ensued. No baby in HDU. Yes baby in SCBU. No worries about not telling me, I am just a very chilled out first time mum, in an excellent mental state. To be fair, we already expected as much. I had a look around at SCBU and came to the conclusion that there are sicker babies there, like, babies that still require oxygen. Bella basically is not sick, she's just premature. Hopefully it stays that way! It's not great to hear though that HDU is full and that they think she should be in HDU rather than SCBU (there's another HDU baby in SCBU as well.). Then again, some hospitals don't even make the distinction between HDU and SCBU. Bella is now almost back to birth weight, so that's good, and I am producing enough milk to feed the entire south east of England. I have seen so many boobs though in the space of 12 days. Let me tell you girls, size isn't everything!

Dildals · 09/08/2013 18:16

BTW - I haven't started leaking yet (breasts I mean, I do leak from other places TMI). When is that going to happen? I do have the let down reflex thing now. Painful.

Buzzybee123 · 09/08/2013 19:30

dildals it doesn't surprise me that they didn't tell you they had moved Bella Hmm I have been visiting someone in hospital and they moved the man in the bed at the end, his grown up kids turned up, empty bed tears as they thought the man had died, no one could tell them where he been moved to, I was totally disgusted by it, I think they should have waited and moved her when you were present personally, although very sad at least they have admitted things could/should have been handled better, usually the NHS denies any responsibility Hmm

I think you can put photos up and choose who sees them on MN but as I can't work out how to do a bulk message Hmm

vall great news on the scan :)

I shall make a note to acquire what I can from the hospital :) not like I have done that in the past

SweetieTime · 09/08/2013 20:19

Dildals that is disgraceful that they didn't tell you they were moving Bella. It must have been very distressing for you especially considering the meeting you had in the morning. So glad you are reunited now and she is doing well enough to be moved.

Val great news on the scan.

mariana I have never heard of bed pads but when we moved house recently we binned some puppy pads that we have left over from house training our dog. I bet I could have utilised these had I known.

Shazza I haven't worn my maternity jeans yet due to the warm weather. I might have a try on tomorrow to see if they still fit. I am still desperate to go to Bravisimo for measuring, I have been very uncomfortable this week. There is no way I could fit a nappy in there at the moment, I think I would struggle with a breast pad too.

I asked DH to cut my toe nails yesterday as my joints feel really stiff and I am struggling to bend enough to do it myself, he refused point blank. So there is no way he would be engaging in perineal massage. I think it was on here that someone mentioned having their DH deal with their lady garden during the later stages of pregnancy. All I can say is your DHs must be made of stronger stuff than mine.

Dildals · 09/08/2013 20:48

sweetie I think they are the same, I am sure the MWs referred to them as puppy pads!

Yes, that's my DH! He agreed to do a bit of trimming, but we never got to that stage. I reckon my DH would be all over the perineal massage thing, the (potential) downside would be that he would view it as excellent foreplay :-). Pretty sure he wouldn't get involved in toe nail painting though. He loved the hand expressing too. And he was rather good at it too.

Your DH will be made of stronger stuff too after he's witnessed the birth! :-)

In defence of the hospital they had mentioned it several times to us that we shouldn't be distressed if we came to ward and Bella was not there. I kinda enjoyed doing the 'WHERE'S MY BABY' thing. Shows them that communication is quite key.

Bella was making lots of cute noises today when I held her. :-)

MarianaTrench · 09/08/2013 21:26

Ah lovely little noises Dildals, in a few weeks she'll be chatting to you like Trenchlet does to me, it's very cute. They shouldn't have moved her but I'm glad you were at least half expecting it. Sounds like you were very strong to get through the meeting, very mixed feelings I imagine.

You might not leak at all. I did for the first week or so but now only if I sleep on my front and go a few hours between feeds (bliss!)

Your DH sounds very hands on! Mine shaved my legs for me a couple of days before my section but I wasn't letting him anywhere else. I didn't even show him my scar for a couple of weeks either. I think I was trying to maintain some allure!

All of you struggling with bras need to consider the lovely stretchy Bravado Bodysilk. Three have done me through the whole of pregnancy and breastfeeding. I am not on commission for them, but probably should be.

Another thing apart from bed mats is to waterproof your whole bed with a mattress protector. I have these on all our beds as then it doesn't matter what happens, the fluid, whatever it may be, doesn't get into the mattress. The expensive toweling ones are the best as they don't crackle and don't make you sweat. I like the bed pads more though as they're easier to keep changing if you have a leaky few days.

Dildals · 09/08/2013 22:24

mariana I was a bit worried that the noises were a sign she wasn't comfortable, because she's wriggling around a little. You think she's just trying to make conversation?

Dildals · 09/08/2013 22:52

shazza You can create a group on FB by clicking on 'create group' on the LHS of the screen. I can do it for you if you want. What shall I call it? Pregnant IVF Worriers? Or is that a bit too much? I can then make it closed or secret. If it is closed then other people can see who is a member but only members can see posts. If it is secret then only members can see the group and who is in it. I guess anyone who wants to be a member would need to send you a PM (if you set up the group) so that you can 'befriend' them in the group.

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