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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

5 weeks pregnant and exhausted - Husband says I'm just being "lazy" - Am I???

111 replies

pinky27 · 31/05/2013 10:17

Hiya, I am only 5 weeks pregnant but feel absolutely shattered. Husband says that I can't possibly be this tired at this early stage and I'm just using it as an excuse to stay in bed. Did anyone else feel tired out at this point of their preg?or am I a lazy beast???

OP posts:

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differentnameforthis · 31/05/2013 10:53

The overwhelming tiredness was the first symptom that alerted me to pregnancy #2! It was all consuming & it didn't matter what I did, I couldn't beat it.

So no, you are not a lazy beast & eve though your body is doing what it is built for, it is bloody exhausting work!

rubyanddiamond · 31/05/2013 10:54

I don't know why so many men seem to think that their wives/partners start making up symptoms as soon as they see that second line?! As if we've just been waiting for the excuse to sit around being 'lazy'?

The first few weeks of pregnancy are incredibly tiring, for most people it gets better in the 2nd trimester, and by the 3rd people are generally more sympathetic as you're obviously heavily pregnant.

expatinscotland · 31/05/2013 10:56

How very ignorant of him.

SixPackWellies · 31/05/2013 10:56

You husband is an arse.

droopytulip · 31/05/2013 10:56

Same with DD1 and had much the same from my OH plus his delightful family. Two years later SIL was the same and got all the sympathy in the world. Tell his to grow a baby and see how he feels.

badguider · 31/05/2013 10:59

What a lot of people don't understand (and I didn't before I got pregnant) is that it is possible to feel MUCH more 'ill' in the first trimester before you show than at any other time.

I was exhausted, nauseous, headachy and had relatively regular migraines... after 20 weeks I felt fine.. obviously it becomes harder and harder to carry the bigger baby around but that terrible illness hasn't come back yet at all.

Tell him to fuck right off and also tell him that the first trimester can feel EXACTLY like the worst hangover of your entire life. Constantly.

BeanoNoir · 31/05/2013 10:59

What an arsehole. I found early pregnancy absolutely knackering. You're growing a baby, an actual living person, how does he expect that to have no effect on your energy levels???

headlesslambrini · 31/05/2013 11:00

with DS I was only awake in the first 12 weeks to throw up then straight back to sleep again. On the plus side, DS was sleeping through at 6 weeks old as well as most of the day . DD more than made up for it when she came along.

neversleepagain · 31/05/2013 11:03

Your husband isn't being very understanding. I hope he gets on board soon.

I had never known exhaustion like it before. For the first 14 weeks or so I would finish work and go straight to sleep at 6pm. DP would make dinner, wake me around 7pm, I would eat dinner and go straight back to sleep around 7:30pm until 7am. I have never slept so much in my life.

It does improve. Congratulations :)

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 31/05/2013 11:05

Of course you arn't being lazy. When I was pregnant with my fisrt baby I was so tired I used to sleep about 12 hours every night! I didn't get the chance with the 2nd but I still felt tired.

I think you need to get your husband some pregnancy books to read through and tell him that this is only the start of the pregnancy so he had better start being a bit more supportive.

MrsOakenshield · 31/05/2013 11:05

and your husband's experience of the early weeks of pregnancy is . . . ?

Is he normally so dismissive of you?

First 3 months: bone-crushing tiredness. Last month: too uncomfortable to sleep, so more tiredness, but of a different kind. Everything in between (for me, at any rate): not too bad.

MrsMummyP · 31/05/2013 11:08

No you are not being lazy. I ran every other day before my pregnancy and I remember going out one day and sitting on a bench and crying as I was so tired I didn't know how I was going to get back home.

At weekends I mostly slept for the first three or four months. Got up after having a lie in, had breakfast, went back to bed until 2 or 3pm. Your body is working very hard and all those little cells are multiplying rapidly. Women have different symptoms, it may be that other women he knows - mum, sisters- didn't have the tiredness, or if they did they covered it up as for those first weeks you might not be telling people.

Tell him that you know it is strange but it is real symptom see www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/tiredness-sleep-pregnant.aspx

Congratulations on your pregnancy. The first weeks are very special for you both.

AnnieLobeseder · 31/05/2013 11:09

Like everyone else has said, absolute exhaustion is an absolutely normal state in the first few weeks. I used to get home from work and pass out on the sofa every day.

I hope your DH becomes more supportive as your pregnancy progresses.

PicklePants · 31/05/2013 11:09

Another who thinks your DP is a tosser for calling you lazy. I'm 9 weeks pregnant with DC2, and DC1 is nearly 2. I have never felt so tired in all my life.

I remember reading first time round, that a pregnant woman's body at rest is working harder than a non-pregnant person's body is whilst active. Tell him that, then tell him to stop being a dick and make you a cup of tea.

TheThickPlottens · 31/05/2013 11:12

Oh I remember the tiredness. Growing a person is not easy work.

Until he's done his research, he must not give any more opinions. Informed opinions are okay. Being an arse, not okay.

weebarra · 31/05/2013 11:14

Think you should show him this thread and tell him to educate himself. I'm currently 26 weeks with DC3 and would agree that the very early stages are definitely the hardest.

SuffolkNWhat · 31/05/2013 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meglet · 31/05/2013 11:23

Those first few weeks can feel like your drugged. I ended up flat out on the sofa sleeping (and nauseous) for the best part of a week. And I'm not the sort of person who likes sitting down but my body wouldn't let me do anything.

During the second and third trimesters I was back at the gym and feeling much better.

meglet · 31/05/2013 11:23

you're

JenaiMorris · 31/05/2013 11:31

It sounds daft doesn't it, because a three week old embryo is such a tiny thing so I can kind of understand why your husband is a bit - I would have been too until it happened to me.

Your hormones are going crazy and what you're describing is completely normal. I had to come out and tell work at about 6 weeks because I was so utterly crap at my job through sheer exhaustion.

I (and most women I think) was far perkier in the second trimester. Then of course you get to the third trimester and the sheer weight of the baby and all its amniotic fluid, placenta and whatnot and the pace of their growth wipe you out. But it's a different kind of knackered ime.

fibrecruncher · 31/05/2013 11:34

Hiya pinky,

You're husband doesn't sound too supportive, hope its just not he's not very well informed. My DH also read the pregnancy for men book - I would recommend it, very helpful.

I was completely knackered in my first trimester. DH understood when I said I was going to take a quick nap and came back several hours later that if you sleep for that long you must be tired.

You probably need to take some preventative measures as this is the first in a longline of symptons that he won't know much about :) Hope he figures it out soon.

fibrecruncher · 31/05/2013 11:37

Here's a link to the book on amazon

www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-For-Men-whole-months/dp/190541062X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369996532&sr=8-1&keywords=pregnancy%20for%20men&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

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ExhaustedMamasita · 31/05/2013 11:38

NO!! You are definitely not being lazy ? oh my god! I?ve never felt so tired as I did in the first few months ? ever! It got so bad, I?d fall asleep on the loo, on the train and at my desk at work! Would happily spend my entire weekends sleeping. The good news is the tiredness eases off once you hit your second trimester. I?d send your husband some info to read, he needs to be aware of what you?re body?s going through so he understands and eases up on you. Even as a joke, it?s not funny, especially when you?re in hormone overdrive! I sympathise! Good luck!

FobblyWoof · 31/05/2013 11:46

No, it's not you it's him. Go tell him to fuck off and read pregnancy symptoms before he complains any more.

ABirdInTheBush · 31/05/2013 11:48

OP, I do hope you're going to show your DH this thread (and then change your NN!) just so he can see how much of a fucking idiot wrong he is!

I have never been so exhausted as I was for the first 12 wks of this pregnancy.

It gets better - so chin up, OP! And put your feet up too!

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