5 weeks pregnant and exhausted - Husband says I'm just being "lazy" - Am I???

[pinky27]

Hiya, I am only 5 weeks pregnant but feel absolutely shattered. Husband says that I can't possibly be this tired at this early stage and I'm just using it as an excuse to stay in bed. Did anyone else feel tired out at this point of their preg?or am I a lazy beast???

[cupcake78]

First few months are far worse than any other stage of pregnancy.

I'm 36 wks, have spd and am very grumpy/ uncomfortable but I'd rather do this stage and give birth than those first few months.

Your dh needs to wake up and realise what's happening to you! Pregnancy is no easy ride.

[enormouse]

I'm 6 weeks pregnant and have a 19mo. I am shattered all the time. For most the morning I stay on the sofa/the floor while my DS runs around me. I just about manage 1 outing a day (park/walk/etc) for DS and making lunch and dinner. DP comes home at half 6 and takes over from there and I go and lie down with a book.

The tiredness is NOT laziness. Show this thread to your DP.

[mumoftwoboysS]

I have been so exhaused the last month (i'm now 11 weeks) and I HATE sitting around doing nothing usually, but I just couldn't get the energy to do cleaning or anything much. I'm normally always doing something. Like the books say, your body is doing a HUGE amount of baby growing and placenta making! Try and rest when you can and print off some stuff about 1st Tri exhaustion and leave in strategic places for your OH to read so he can send more deserved sympathy your way!!!

[RuckAndRoll]

If he says anything just say
'I'm growing another human being inside me, what have you achieved today?'

I spent most of the first 14 weeks like a zombie. In fact I was signed off work for 2 weeks as I just couldn't cope with the exhaustion, sickness, and pain from another medical condition all at once.

[FizzlingFireboxes]

I'm 5 weeks too and shattered, I could easily go to bed with my 3 year old at 7.30pm and sleep right through, it's normal, your hearts beating faster, your body's going through all sorts of changes, it does get a bit easier in the middle, then comes back towards your due date.
I hope your dh reads this and apologises profusely.

[suckmabigtoe]

i was never so tired in my life as during the first trimester of my pregnancy. in fact it was what gave me away to my mum as she knew how exhausted she had been with me.

you dh needs to educate himself. i wonder why his first resction is to assume you are trying it on? is this normal behaviour for him? if so i would worry.

[GoodbyePorkPie]

Just chiming in with the others. The first trimester is the worst. I've just come out of it and it was just exhausting, I didn't feel like myself at all - couldn't focus and so tired that even after a full night's sleep I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

Can you please show your DH this thread?

[FromGirders]

Shortly before falling pregnant, I was doing a physically and mentally demanding job, working up to 100 hours per week in the summer. I read the books, I thought "tired, I know all about tired, I can handle that".
The first few months of pregnancy FLOORED me. I slept until the last possible minute before work, had a nap at lunchtime, fell asleep as soon as I got home, dh woke me, put food in front of me, I ate it, then went to bed.

Your h, for example . . .

(second pregnancy was thankfully easier)

[blondebaby111]

You are not LAZY,your body is doing so much work right now!! I'm 7 + 4 and i don't think i've ever felt this tired not even when i was badly anaemic a few years back. I manage to sit quietly and eat my lunch in my break but its so so hard once you sit down to get the motivation to get back up and do anything. Please show your DH this thread...he should be helping you...the first trimester is tough going without a whingey man making it worse

[freemanbatch]

every time I read one of these threads it reminds me of the crap I went through with my ExH during my last 2 pregnancies and makes me even more glad I'm on my own this time

Early pregnancy is beyond exhausting, men will never get it but some men are good enough to trust that their wives are good people and that they wouldn't lie to them about how they're feeling sadly some men aren't capable of that and just see how much more they are having to do because their wife isn't.

They seem to forget that their wife is growing an actual human being which to me seems like a hell of a lot of hard work compared to doing a bit of washing up

[pinky27]

WOW - thanks VERY much for all the replies! VERY pleased to hear that I am not a lazy beast and am infact just a normal preg person! It is bloody awful feeling this exhausted all day and night and a relief to hear that it should get better in 2nd trimester :).

Have shown my hubby this post - he has stomped off in a bit of a huff - LOL! Going to also buy him a book about pregnancies and show him some preg websites! Hopefully he will think twice before saying anything cheeky to me about anything to do with my preg again!!

Thanks, ladies! xx

[Fairylea]

He is an arse. Early and late pregnancy are generally exhausting.

I hope he isn't going to be such a pig the whole pregnancy??

[BikeRunSki]

The first trimester is awful. I could barely keep awake in either pg, and was throwing up 20+ times a day. At least I was "lucky" enough to have my DH believe me.

[GoodbyePorkPie]

What Fairylea said. Will he support you, do you think? I mean, for him, this is the easy bit. When the baby comes you're both going to be tired and you'll have to work as a team even if all you want to do is lie down and sleep forever.

Pinky's DH - pull yourself together because you are acting like a complete tit.

[CitizenOscar]

You are growing another human being basically from nothing. Your body is doing all that. Just cos you can't see it happening, doesn't mean it isn't hard work.

I have had 2 straightforward pregnancies (now 34 weeks with DC2) and I can tell you that the first trimester puts me off EVER doing it again. The exhaustion is just too much. Am only just getting to similar levels now and I've probably only got a few weeks to go.

It IS hard for partners to get their head around until they see scan/bump/baby/GCSE certificates BUT they can start by listening to how you feel & supporting you. It's not rocket science, and it's basically their job during pregnancy.

Rest as much as you can and hopefully the exhaustion will lift in a few weeks.

[PurplePoppySeed]

In fairness to him, if it's your first, he's probably only had a week to get his head around the idea that you're actually pregnant (I think most DH/DPs don't really understand that it might actually happen until you POAS). Nothing has changed in his life this week so he's probably just got no idea how quickly things change for you from weeks 4-12.

It's just not real to him at all until you have a bump - however supportive they are, men don't have the experience we do. MY DH has been supportive all the way through, but he still made comments like "you have no idea how tired I feel" during my first trimester without really thinking about it, would also regularly forget I was pregnant as I looked the same to him :)

It's only now that I've got a bump that he can really start to believe it's happening and I'm in week 25. There is a brilliant chapter for dads-to-be in the "what to expect when your expecting" book, made my DH laugh but it was good prep :)

[FaddyPeony]

He's gone off in a huff ?
OP's husband, if you're reading this: it's actually not just the meanie women on here who think you need to grow up and stop being a pig! Chat to some dads, maybe you'll learn a few things. Like how to behave respectfully towards the woman who's carrying your child.

[Jollyb]

As purple poppy seed said, I think it is sometimes difficult for people who have never been pregnant to understand the fatigue that comes with the first trimester. In his eyes you've only been pregnant for a week and you don't even have a bump yet.

I'm 32 weeks and one of my work colleagues confided in me last week that she was 6 weeks and feeling lousy. For a split second I thought 'how can you be tired - I'm far more pregnant than you' , and then I remembered the dark days . . . .

BTW This doesn't mean that he's going to be a crap father etc. My DP has never really been hugely into pregnancy but since our DD arrived he has been the most besotted, hands on dad.

[SirBoobAlot]

He's gone off in a huff instead of apologising and blushing and admitting he was an arse?

Fabulous.

[PurplePoppySeed]

Thanks Jolly tbh I think some parts of this thread are helpful as we all know how tiring it is, but the last thing you needed to do is show him lots of abuse from us. As a man, he'll want facts and figures to believe you I bet. Anything else could alienate him from your experience when you need him to feel like part of it all.

None of us have the context here, one guys "huff" could be another guys tantrum, I'm sure he'll be great once he's got the facts. I would definitely agree with the suggestions of baby centre - get the app and the "what to expect" app as they tell you exactly what's happening when & include details on why you're feeling tired etc - good luck :)

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

Is your husband always such a dismissive cunt?

[badguider]

pinky's husband - nobody blames you for not knowing what early pregnancy is really like. I had no idea how bad you feel... I knew about the nausea but not the exhaustion. By the time women generally tell people at 12-15weeks they are often feeling a lot better so when people ask how they are they say 'good' because they feel better than before. I am trying to make sure when people ask who haven't been pregnant that I say 'good now, but the early days were tough' because I don't think everybody should gloss over how hard the early bit is (6.5-9.5 weeks were worst for me).

What people on this thread are calling you names about is not just believing pinky when she said she was exhausted. There will be lots of times in this pregnancy and birth an days with a baby when you cannot know what she is going through - you're going to have to learn to believe her that she's not trying to get one over on you but is genuinely feeling what she says she is (e.g. breastfeeding can be exhausting on top of the sleep deprivation you both will be suffering, if she tells you this you have to believe her).

Good luck.

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Let's hope when he's finished sulking like a big baby, he will actually act like a grown up and take on board what people are saying!

In the first weeks of both my pregnancies, I was KNACKERED! Throwing up and feeling like crap and just a tiredness like no other.

Then, later, I felt fine. Normal. Just got on with things. Then, towards the end, I got REALLY pissed off! I couldn't move, I was hot and bothered and grumpy and utterly sick to death of being pregnant.

then I had a weird couple of weeks where I went nuts. I alternated between the bitch queen from hell and a 1950s housewife

Then the baby was born and I spent the next few months sobbing into my pillow.

It's a trying time , that's for sure

Your husband is going to have to change his attitude. Worse is to come...

[Quodlibet]

I honestly don't think, unless you have been pregnant, you can possibly understand the kind of 'tiredness' of the first trimester. It deserves its own name, because 'tiredness' 'exhaustion' 'fatigue' don't cover it. It is a different physical sensation, like a parasitic leech has sucked all your life force out of you and left you as an ineffective, weak floppy being who struggles lifting their arms above their head or putting cogent thoughts together. A bit like an ineffective, passive zombie.

Hopefully your DP is trying a bit harder to understand it now OP.