Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

I kept just one pee stick.

Buzzy I had a scan at 5+0, just saw it was in the right place. They can prob see if there are two sacs as well...

fairy my sister also found out with her second, as you say, much easier and more exciting for your ds. Glad you're excited more than nervous.

noks!! I've been wondering when you'd join us... What are you up to now? 7 weeks? Are you overly crazy, or regular crazy, do you think... Have you told anyone?

I just emailed bf . I mean seriously wtf is my problem. Fairy my book says NT is 80% without bloods, 85% with.

I'm going to the dentist today. Don't forget tooth checks girls! Old saying is 'lose a tooth with each baby'...

Morning girls,

I am feeling a lot better now. I think I've snapped out of it! (Not admitting to still going in to every shop I pass that sells children's clothes and tear up quietly over little girls bathing suits with strawberries on it and little hi-viz jackets for on their bikes. SO CUTE! Girls baby clothes are so much cuter than boys.)

Shazza & others who are up for it - let's organise a 'sling date', bump is not too big yet so might be a good time to try this on.

I held a four month old baby girl yesterday and she didn't burst out crying immediately and I felt comfortable with her as well. It's funny how it is easier with some parents to hold their baby compared to others. Somehow that put my mind to rest that I'll be OK. It was weird thinking I had now three babies in my lap!
I also picked up a couple of baby bottles and bibs for free off the East Dulwich forum. It's hard to not get greedy with all this things on offer!

One question for expatal and mariana & other 'further alongs' / 'already mums'. I have started to wake up early (not just for a wee) with back pain in my upper back, as if I have been in bed for too long. Anyone of you had that? Is this the time where I need to start sleeping with a pillow? I have tried it but it doesn't really seem to do anything. There's a dreamgenii pregnancy pillow on the forum for £20 but no point buying it if it is not going to help!

I also want to buy a 'memory book' for them. Any of you any recommendations?

noks WELCOME!

I can't remember who said this earlier in the thread but if no morning sickness means a boy then I have two girls that are withholding vital information!

Also, on telling people, I was so looking fwd to being able to tell people and then when the moment came it felt so personal that I got quite hesitant. This applied mainly to people at work, not like close friends.

Have a lovely rainy day everyone! x

Just quickly, upper back pain yes - sort of in between my higher ribs. Only paracetamol solved that one as it used to keep me awake.

Memory book - I'm looking for one too. Most are too sentimental and cheesy for me. I have an Usbourne one for DD1 which was ok but seems to be out of print:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1409513343/ref=mp_s_a_1_cc_1?qid=1369727897&sr=1-1-catcorr&pi=SL75

Depends what you want it for, the Usbourne one is very much for DD1, she loves looking at her baby pictures.

Morning ladies

Noks! Welcome! Thanks for PM. I'll reply in abit. Glad you are ok and have joined us for fretting. Looking forward to months of hand holding. Congratulations again. Lovely to have you and your little miracle Nokino with us.

Dildals. Glad you are feeling better. Yes to sling date. I've also got a very manageable bump so pretty much any Saturday is good for me. It will get me out of decorating duties The East Dulwich forum sounds amazing. Almost worth moving for! I can't find anything similar in Streatham though I've joined freecycle. I must admit its abit overwhelming though. The updates are all the time even though I've set it for once a day they still come regularly. And I haven't been brave enough to post anything yet. I'm sleeping with an ordinary pillow for support at the moment and it has helped. I'm going to investigate mariana's booster pillow suggestion.

Keep well done for starting to tell and good point about the dentist. I need to go find one.

Buzzy I filmed the digi one developing. Good luck with your scan. You will feel reassured to know that it/they are in the right place at least.

Fairy I'm glad I'm not the only one! I think that DP is abit grossed out by them sitting on the chest of drawers. Maybe I need to hide them away!

Hello to everyone else. At least the rain started when it was time to go back to work.

I had second MW appt this morning. She is very nice. She invited us to a home birth workshop. She said that they are pro choice of the woman but that if all is well she much prefers a home birth. It is very intimate and much nicer in her opinion. So I'm going to keep an open mind. We heard Shazlett's heartbeat which was reassuring. All fine. Bloods perfect. Iron ok so we are on track.

Got to go to work now. Am in no great hurry to be honest.

Have a good day.

S xx

shazza hmmmmm, Nokino. I rather like that name. I think I haven't named it yet because a) I don't believe it's real and b) the moment I get too attached to it, it might just leave me. I have literally no symptoms at all - I wish I was vomiting into the loo all day to be honest. At least i would know that everything is ok. Thank god I have a scan tomorrow or I might just go a bit bonkers. These early days are a total killer.

To all the familiar faces (keep, buzz, crisps, dildals, fairy and anyone I have forgotten) hello ! To all of the ladies I haven't yet met, I have been ttc for four and a half years, MC at about nine weeks in, six months after starting ttc but no luck since then. Ivf in March 2013 which was unsuccessful (tested on 30th March). Booked in for a hysteroscopy on 7th May 2013 and to my complete amazement, I had a positive pregnancy test just as they were running through all the pre-op tests and about twenty minutes before surgery. Had a scan at 5+5 and 7+2 and a yolk sac and heartbeat seen. Bag of nerves since. Am 8+4 today.

Noks x

Hello
To let you all know I have been to the EPU this afternoon and they have confirmed that I did miscarry last night. So very sad. No complications, or explanations, just is what it is.
thanks for all your support, you have been fab.
Good luck x

Re Sling Meet. This may have to wait till I am on maternity leave, unless we all collectively decide to bunk off one day. Their opening times :

Tuesday 21st May, 10:00 - 2:00
Wednesday 29th May, 9:30 - 12:00
Thursday 30th May, 12:30 - 2:30
Tuesday 4th June, 10:00 - 2:00
Wednesday 12th June, 9:30 - 12:00
Thursday 13th June, 12:30 - 2:30

oh no, dear foodie I am so sorry! Poor you! We need an emoticon for a group hug on this site. Be good to yourself over the next coming days/weeks. xxx

Foody, I'm so very sorry. You must look after yourself, if you could use a sympathetic ear then please PM me.

Foody you poor love, I'm so desperately sorry. Take good care of yourself. Likwise, if you need an understanding ear pm me. xx

Just popping in quickly to say foodie I'm so massively sorry. I'm devastated on your behalf, it's just so unfair and cruel. I know there's nothing I can do, but do let me know if there is anything x

foodie I am so sorry for your loss. Such sad news.

Hi all. Have been lurking lately, sorry. Have been going through a bit of a sorry for myself overwhelmed stage, am being pathetic and even annoying myself! Worked out that we will soon be paying over £1500 peR month on childcare which didn't help! Am determined to snap out of it and try to enjoy things. Had a scan last week where all was well with both so need to take some confidence from that.

noks helloooo, we are getting there now aren't we?! Good to see you over here. Will try to be more amusing and sweary in my next posts...just need to kick myself up the arse first.

foody I am so very very sorry. How awful and what a nightmare. Hope you are feeling ok healthwise. Having had a mc before I have no advice other than to let time pass. Big hugs coming your way with all my love.

foody I am so sorry to hear your sad news, just take time to out to look after yourself, big hugs

noks good luck for your scan tomorrow

shazza I'm supposed to be booked in at 6,8,10 and 14 weeks with the RMC, but this through my local EAPU, they have been very supportive especially in the past

foody the others have said it all already but I am so sorry. Take care of yourself, my dear.

Oh my God Foody I'm so so sorry. That is truly awful news. Massive hugs. You have all of our support. Loads of love Shazza xx

Dildals thanks for the sling info. They aren't very convenient are they? I was hoping to do my research now to be ready for the arrival. I've got some holiday and time off in lieu due so I might nip along one day.

Crisps sorry to hear you are overwhelmed. I imagine its normal to feel daunted. I'm sure you will get used to the idea and come up with a plan. These things have a way of working out.

Buzzy I'm glad you are so well supported. That sounds great.

Good luck today Noks sounds like you are on track and things are going well. Lovely to have you here.

Much love to all you ladies today. Xx

foodie I am so sorry. Please make sure you take care of yourself. X

Another one sending love to foody. I'm so sorry.

Hi, I started another thread but wanted to add my worries here too! I am pregnant with my baby (had IVF). I am constantly worried about dying and leaving my baby or that my husband will die and leave us, or that my baby will die. It's just awful and sometimes it's all-consuming. Has anyone else had these worries?

crisps I hear you on the childcare costs, I had a similar moment a couple of weeks ago, and posted about it too. I did find afterwards that there were cheaper arrangements for childcare that I could consider, that put my mind at rest a little, and also the 'head in the sand' hormone kicked in again. Where have the olden days gone where you could just send your kids out to work in the mines! ;-)

shazza I'll leave it till maternity leave kicks in.

welcome lauracutee I am sure there are some people on here that share your worries. These thoughts are so horrible, I do entertain them sometimes, but I get physically sick thinking too long about them, so I have agreed with myself that I am only allowed to think for 40 seconds about them. And then I need to stop. That has worked so far. But I am not the biggest worrier TBH. I had this weird thought that the babies (I am having twins) would want to surprise me and come on my birthday (I know this sounds ridiculous) and I was trying to tell them not to, because they would be too premature, and that they died on my birthday as a result. Anyway - needless to say the 40 second rule applied to that one!

Hi Laura I am focusing on one worry step at a time. But have you thought about talking to your gp about your anxieties? How far along are you? Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am really trying to enjoy it, having looked forward to it for so long, as I'm sure you have.

I am 30 weeks and absolutely love being pregnant - I just can't help these worries :-(

Hi Laura, your worries sound a bit like the kind of thoughts that haunted me when my anxiety was at its worst. If you can't get them under control yourself I'd definitely speak to your GP about getting some help. I had CBT and found it helped to discuss my fears and try to be a bit more rational about risk. I'd already lost babies for very rare reasons so I often felt that I was cursed. One of the techniques I did in CBT was to allow myself ten minutes of worrying each day, rather than the drip drip of constant worries.

What a busy day today has turned out to be, and it started before 5am. I finally have an hour to drink tea, feed the baby and watch TV.

Hi laura - congratulations on your pregnancy! after my DS was born I was bothered by frequent morbid thoughts of him dying or me dying for about 3-4 months. Eventually it passed. I had PND at the same time so I think that was where it came from, partly hormonal, partly getting over a difficult birth and partly just because I was overwhelmed with an all-consuming love for him. I was also on my own with him almost all the time as I didn't have any good friends or family nearby and my husband was working long hours. I didn't tell anyone about my thoughts at the time because I was afraid that I would get pigeon-holed as 'depressed' and there would be all sorts of unwanted interventions. Now I wish I had actually spoken with my GP or health visitor as I might have got over it sooner. But it depends how 'in control' of the situation you feel, as mariana says.

noks how was your scan today? Fingers crossed for you.

dildals the cute clothes are definitely a plus for having girls. Boys clothes are so dull or have to have cars on them.

shazza I have a little box I keep the HPTs in so unless someone is ultra-snooping they are concealed.