Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

Shazza you poor thing - tearful is rubbish, hopefully your mood will swing the other way and you'll have a better weekend. Bloody hormones.

Cloth nappies are too daunting for me, to my shame. That's nonsense about disposables not leaking. Milk fed baby poo is liquid and gets everywhere, we have at least one leak a day from disposables. Things don't firm up a bit until you wean them.

Great scan news dildals. I laughed at the feet, mine are quite special too (long toes with funny shaped nails!) and I love Trenchlet's tiny versions of them - except she has her dad's big toe. Very odd. It's lovely exploring these things on your baby - and ascribing blame of course! I'm intrigued by the sex and how you're feeling. I think it's better to know in advance. I know I would have felt a bit odd if I had a boy as there are no boys in my family (last one on maternal side born nearly 100 years ago!) so I would have felt very inexperienced at raising one. Finding out at the scan would have helped me overcome that though, as whatever it is you're unsure of, you now have 20 more weeks to process it and get used to the idea. Don't worry!

shazza slingwise I've got a Mei Tai as it was both comfortable and easy to tie. I liked the stretchy wraps too but they are much harder to tie. Look on YouTube for vids explaining them. sweetie I think you could sling one and deal with the other. I've been slinging the baby while I get dd washed and dressed. It's working really well.

There's no way I'd trade mat leave or part time work with my husband. I love being part time and doing all the home and children stuff. He earns more and has the career whereas I have a good job but less of a clear career. I want to stay part time long term as I've seen friends struggle when they've gone full time and they feel they should be around more for their teenaged kids. In fact, I'd like to do the rest of my working life part time. Part of moving to the cheaper countryside was to allow more flexibility over this.

Congratulations alexeliza! Symptoms are a worry when you have them and a worry when you don't. So you'll worry whatever!

Good scan news MrsHy and the Down's risk. I don't have a brother but can't say I'd want any of my family at a birth. In fact my mum was talking about this today and I asked her what she would have done if I'd asked her to be my birth partner and she said she would have refused. She's even more panicky about birth than I am, I don't need to wonder where I got it from!

foody sciatica sucks. I had it for months but its loads better now. Glad work are understanding - don't tell other colleagues until you're ready. They'll just have to lump it - blame the sciatica. My boss was tremendously sympathetic which made a huge difference to me at work.

God, what a long ramble. It's because I'm trapped in bed feeding, endless feeding. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

hope you have a comfy bed mariana!
Am 3/4 way through my last essay (woo hoo!) and have found out I passed the first one and the practical exams too, yay for me!! just need to get in finished by Tuesday in between swimming and lunch out tomorrow and afternoon out on Sunday. here's to being positive!

1200 words to go with a bit of a rewrite and references to sort and it will all be over. Looking forward to the extra head-space.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone

alexeliza welcome

foody glad your scan went well, its just endless worry isn't it

dildals how exciting to get to see your babies move like that

thank you ladies for your support, my blood test on Thursday was fine but my progesterone was 22 which seems a bit low, so they told me to up it to 3 x arse bullets, but I am not convinced, I have had a blood test this morning and I'm waiting for the results, feeling a little stressed with it all, I'm trying to get hold of some injectable progesterone

Hello ladies

Sorry for radio silence. I'm feeling much better today. Just needed a night in to sleep it off.

Alex welcome! So exciting. Don't worry about symptoms although of course you will, that's why you are here!!! I didn't have many symptoms, no sickness or sore boobs, only extreme tiredness at first. The wait for the first scan is endless but worth the wait! It's also normal to do lots of tests. I did 8!

Foody thanks for the nappy tip. Where on the council website did you find it? I looked at Lambeth and there is a parent forum but couldn't see anything about free nappies!

Expat and foody. I've been looking at MN reviews and it seems to vary re leakage. Good plan about carrying a spare top

Foody sorry about the sciatica. Good to have work sorted. Never mind about colleagues. Do what you need to do. They'll understand when they know the reason. Well done about the study.

Dildals. Oh my God you know? And your not telling us? I can't bear the suspense!!! Are you up for going and checking out the sling library sometime? Any of the other south Londoners (or north east or west if you don't mind travelling of course) care to join? We could combine the trip with a nice cup of tea

My job was intense this week but thankfully it's not usually like that. They are very supportive and actually I started talking to my boss re mat leave and maybe returning part time which is good.

I love that your twinnies are already annoying each other. How sweet. You have another scan in 4 weeks. Is that cause of twins . I laughed at DHs 'special' feet!!

MrsH so pleased your scan was good. What a relief and congratulations on sharing your news. Sweet about your bro. I'm close to mine too (that's why SIL from hell is such a bitter pill for me to swallow. Never expected to be in this situation) but I'm not sure about him being at the birth. Sometimes of one born every minute they have loads of family in the room.

Sweetie I think that slinging one baby then the other sounds like a good idea. I think it's funny when we say 'slinging' though. Sounds like we are going to throw them across the room!

Mariana. How funny that there are no boys in your family. And so cute about discovering your baby's features. I can't wait. I've read about mei tai. I agree re work. I think that I'm looking for more of a balance. My job isn't a career anyway. I consider art practice more of a career path so if I can work PT for money and do baby and art stuff that would be perfect. I hope the foodathon is ok and you have managed to get up.

Buzzy 3 bum bullets? Not all at the same time I hope ! I'm sorry you are worried about getting results. It's one thing after another on this journey isn't it?

Hello to everyone else. I hope you are all having a lovely weekend.

AFM we have just got back from a shopping trip to Jo Jo maman bene in Balham. I felt like a yummy mummy! I was inspired by the belt tip I can't remember who it was from. Anyway it wasn't right for me. I didn't fill it! BUT I did finally get some jeans, some crop trousers and a pair of leggings. Yes a splurge but I was disheartened after neither of the 2 pairs of jeans from eBay fit. Thankfully the eBay tops and dresses are great so now I'm well on my way to a nice capsule wardrobe.

Ok. A mammoth post. That'll learn me to have a day off! Time to get the dinner on now. Nice salmon. Get my omega 3 in.

Have a nice evening ladies

Shazzamattazza xx

thank you ladies, I am calmer now, not sure how long it will last, my hcg has gone from 1248 to 3719, progesterone has gone from 22 to 24 so not that great, I'll try and get another blood test next week to check my progesterone levels again

shazza I usually space them out over the day

Hi all, I'm back!

buzzy huge congratulations!! The hcg sounds good - how many weeks are you? I'm sorry you're worried about the progesterone. Some people I think get injections?

mrsh congratulations on the scan :)

We had our scan yesterday at 13+1 (measuring 13+6!). All looked good, and baby has a big nose like both of us! We're not getting the DS blood results for one or two weeks - Argh - but all physical markers were good. I feel quite positive about it - should I still wait to tell people? mrsh did you get yours same day? Do you have a bump yet? I have just a slightly rounded upper (?) tummy.

dildals lovely to hear of your scan too. We won't find out the sex, I feel it'll be nice to have a surprise after all this intervention. I thought I saw a little willy but dh said as the experienced sonographer said she couldn't tell that it was unlikely I could... I always thought I would find out though, as am usually v impatient.

I vow not to worry as much now snorts

Hi keep

Welcome back!! Are you bronzed and lovely ?

Congratulations on your scan. Such a relief. I thought I saw a willy too but the dr said that both boys and girls have something between their legs at 13 weeks. Do you think you will tell now or wait til the blood results? Any chance they will come back sooner?

Good plan for not worrying. I lasted about 5 days after the scan. Quite good considering my past worrying performance! But I've given myself a good talking to again so I'll join you on the not worrying bus.

Morning ladies.

I am having a massive come down after the 20 week scan. Every scan is just so emotional. The 7 week scan, because you want to see if there is a viable tadpole there with a heartbeat. The 12 week scan because you get to find out about Downs etc. I totally didn't expect the 20 week scan to knock me sideways so much. I walked home via Mothercare and Primark from the hospital and cried in the baby clothes section, fingering little pink shoes and small cardigans with little roses on it. I had to exit Mothercare because I wasn't able to hold it together. (I wasn't crying because I was sad, I just found it emotional.)In Primark they had these cute little polkadot dresses, with little pink bows. I think I have given away the sex now haven't I. Two girls. The reason it knocked me so much is because I was 100% convinced it was 2 boys. Initially, when I found out it was twins, I pictured a scenario of 2 boys because I thought that would be the 'worst case scenario', two high octane boys running amok, bouncing off the walls. I thought, if I prepare myself for the worst case scenario anything else will be a doddle. But then I started to quite like the scenario. Boys always pull towards their mum, girls towards their father. I quite fancied having 2 strapping young men and be able to say 'my boys'. And now it is the exact opposite. And although disappointed is definitely not the right word, I definitely have trouble adapting to the scenario. In real life I get along better with men, I know what to do with men, they're easier. I feel like I won't be able to be a good mum with girls. I don't know why. Well, I do. My mum and I didn't have a particularly good relationship until we were much older, so somehow having 2 girls is very close to the bone for me and I am afraid that feeling this apprehensive will become a self fulfilling prophecy. I know, rationally, that both my mum and I are different people, and that she was in a very different phase in life when she had me, but still. Thank god we found out and I have another 20 weeks to get used to the idea.

buzzy that's a great rise in hCG levels!
shazza can you go to a sling library without a baby? I guess it makes sense to go there beforehand. I just looked up the address, it is actually in West Norwood, really close to where my SIL lives. That should be easy to get to from yours as well I think.

Oh dildals... Don't feel bad for feeling like this, for one thing you have masses of hormones flying around. Personally I would Love a girl, as I don't know many little boys, and also my friends who are men don't tend to be as close to their mothers. But this, like you, is shaped by my experience and your family will make its own way. Two gorgeous girls will be amazing, its just a shock if you weren't expecting it. If you don't want people to know the sex btw then pretend you don't know, else they'll pester you...

How's your dh? Excited? Have you told him how you feel? I remember he wasn't telling work as he couldn't believe it still... Does he now?

I don't know shaz about telling, but I think I will tell good friends. what do you girls think, wait for blood results if not? I think you don't even use them for twins either?

Thanks keep. DH is really excited, he quite likes the idea of two girls. He had no prefence although he did quite like them to be same sex, just because he thought they'd be closer. He did tell work before the 20 week scan. One Friday he got a bit giddy and told his boss and his team. He's got a team of all girls, so they were all hyper excited by the prospect of twins :-). We are not telling anyone else the sex, bar my mum. Keeping it a secret. Well, apart from posting it on mumsnet! ;-) (I saw my male (!) colleague on Mumsnet the other day, I had a nanosecond paranoia that he was reading my posts! :-) God knows what he was doing on there.)

They did use the bloods for twins, the outcome is just not as accurate as for singletons.

I think the physical test, without bloods, is about 60% certain?

I am already worrying myself sick for when they're teenagers.... pfff...

dildals its been an emotional rollercoaster so its natural to feel like this, to be honest when you said about the girls clothes I thought you were going to say you were expecting girls but were having boys. Remember girls are more practical and helpful, just because your relationship with your mum wasn't great doesn't mean it will be the same for you, you are NOT reliving history with your mum, you are creating a future, one that you have some control over.

You will bond with your little girls in a different way, my parents disowned me years ago and I too worried about this as my mum did re live history with me and my sister, and needless to say my sister ans I don't have a great relationship but I have always been envious of sibling sisters who are close, you are goingt be a wonderful mum to two very adoring little girls, you wouldn't be human if you didn't have feelings like this, takes a strong person to admit that things have knocked them side ways a bit :)

I am going with hopefully twins one of each so I have all bases covered, although Barry I talk about 'junior' as a he we did talk a bit about twins today, and how he would cope if we had twin girls and they were feisty like me, Barry thinks he'll have a garden shed that he can escape to

keep glad your scan went well :)

Dildals all those extra preggo hormones are probably not helping in the emotional state. It is a shock at first when you were expecting such a different outcome. But you have time to get used to things and there are loads of lovely girly things you can enjoy now. There is nothing that you will do with girls that you would have done with boys. Things might be a bit more pink, or maybe not you never know. It is difficult if you have a strained relationship with your own Mum but you have your whole life ahead to develop the relationship with your girls. History doesn't have to repeat itself. I hope you are feeling a bit better now the news is sinking in. It is lovely that DH is pleased with the news too.

Hello ladies. Hope you are all enjoying the lovely sunshine. I've had to retreat to my bed, as I'm feeling so tired and sick. Urgh, I thought it was meant to get better!

Such lovely news about the scans. didals how amazing to see them beating the crap out of each other already! I think when ttc has been hard, any scan us going to be super emotional. I tear up just thinking about my bean. You will be a brilliant mum to your girls. As you say, your situation is v different to your mum's. I can't remember if your babies are ivf, but I think that, or long term ttc alone gives us all a v. different perspective. It must be a shock, but I'm sure with a bit of time you will be thrilled. I too think my bean is a boy but DH and my mum say a girl as I've felt so sick.

mrshy I'm thrilled your scan went well too. I laughed out loud like a mad lady at your bro's reaction. He sounds ace. Boo to the return of dildo cam. I do not miss him and his flappy condom.

And yay keep for a good scan too! I think I'd tell a few close people but tell work etc once I had the blood results. It sounds like everything is gonna be fine though :)

Welcome alex. I did loads of hpts too now all in my bedside cabinet, nice. The wait for scans does seem like an eternity.

shazz sorry to hear that the worrying has reappeared. I hope you are having a nice weekend after your hard, emotional week. I love the idea of meeting for a coffee with everyone (there's a lovely looking new cafe in West Norwood), but I'm not sure about a sling! I get backache and am quite lazy, but maybe I'll feel differently when the bean arrives. Btw, I think I've reserved a place on the same nct course as you! I'm not a mad stalker, honest! They are def the easiest to get to from this part of the hood. So I'll see you there if all's well at my 12 and 20 week scans!

buzzy hope you are doing ok today. Did you get hold of the clinic? Has the spotting stopped?

foody well done on finishing the essay! Hope that meant you could have a nice, relaxed weekend.

mariana hope trenchlet has had a good weekend.

Waves to everyone else.

I'm currently winding myself up about the 12 week scan, which is next sat. I am soooo scared and keep reading about mmc. DH is all like well at least we'll know, but I think I'd rather carry on in a rather anxious, sometimes happy bubble. I still have lots of symptoms, which is hopefully a good sign, although keep thinking these could be due to the arse bullets...

Oh dildals everyone has said it all but it's normal to be emotional if you've had a shock. Like the others I think that you will be a wonderful mum to your girls. A lady at work has twin girls from IVF and they are amazing when she brings them in. So different from eachother and really characterful. And unbelievably cute. Oh my goodness. Heart meltingly pretty and sweet. It's really exciting.

I'm not sure if you need a baby to go to a sling library. Obviously there is no point taking one out but I'd quite like to see what is on offer to get an idea of what kind I want. I suppose we could go with the beans when they are here to try them out and just meet for coffee (decaf naturally) anyway.

Gin sorry you are feeling iffy. does no sickness mean a boy? Oh Crikey! I was hoping for a girl but DP wants a boy so if that is true looks like a boy for me. It's fun to speculate . I'm so happy that you are on our NCT. At least I haven't paid £360 in vain. I already have a friend! Although you could look at it this way. We could have met for coffees read shed loads of books each, watched YouTube and saved the money!!! Lots of symptoms is a good sign. Fingers crossed your scan is ok.

Keep I think I'd be tempted to tell close friends and wait for work. That's what I ended up doing. But we had to tell close friends in a way cause they knew about treatment.

Buzzy I can't remember but you don't know if you've got 2 beans on board yet do you? How many embies did you put back? We are getting a high quota of twins on here so you might be joining them!

We are boarding the loft today. Let the pre baby prep begin! We didn't get very far before DP found a squirrels nest with 2 very dead and somewhat dried up residents. Yeuk!

Xx

shazza I had two put back and really hoping for twins as I don't honestly think I could go through this again

gin the clinic in Brno just said to up the cyclogest to 1200, they don't seem keen on giving me the injectable stuff, its all very confusng because some places say arse bullets are best and a few say injectables, i am feeling calmer about it all but I'm still worried. I've got 2 weeks supply of injectables coming my way at the cost of £140

Do you have a scan booked, buzzy?

gin, you've had a scans already, right? Then your chance of a mc are lower than normal. Also, the progesterone doesn't make you feel sick though obv does give you some symptoms. Some ladies miscarry whilst on it, and it does mask mc for others. But overall the overwhelming chance is that all's fine. Not long now.

I am feeling weird about telling people. Like I don't want to, it's private. Our families know but no one else really yet. Am I weird?

I think it's really hard telling people. I'm mental about that though!

Urgh at squirrels. I hate squirrels. We had them in the roof once and the noise was unbelievable.

My sling person had some horrible lifelike dolls you could use to try out the slings. The problem will be your bump not allowing you to tie things round your waist and so on.

Dildals, you're not your mother and you will parent in your own way, but learning from her mistakes.
I love having girls and would have been initially uneasy with boys, merely as I have little experience of them, I'm sure I would have adjusted though. My DD1 is into Disney Princesses and tea parties yet she is also a huge fan of grubbing around in the garden for insects, playing with her dinosaurs and building ramps for her toy cars. She adores DH but that's not about gender but because she doesn't see as much of him so he spoils her. I'm the boring parent she sees all the time.
(You'd fear for either sex as teenagers, there are just different risks.)
I hope you're feeling better about it all though.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, I've got family staying which means extra hands to hold the baby!

dildals I can totally understand how you feel. You get used to a vision of you and your babies in your head and then it's hard to adjust. As the others have said, it really comes down to your individual personalities, gender is only a generalisation. My DS is a lot "like a girl" in that he is v sensitive and empathetic and loved to take care of other people. He hates getting dirty and cares about his clothes looking right. I was nervous about having a boy because I was afraid he'd be like my brothers, but he is totally unlike them.

You and I are at the same stage and I have noticed I've been quite emotional over the last week, weepy for "no reason". So that is probably exaggerating your reaction.

That's funny re due dates! I'm glad you got that mystery sorted out and another 2 days of pregnancy.

keep great news about the scan, v reassuring. buzzy same on the blood tests. I think HCG is the key hormone, more so than progesterone. mrshy I am really impressed at your brother's reaction and that you would want him at the birth. I can't imagine having my brothers any where near me in labour! It's wonderful you are so close.

I've been busy with work and guests. Really enjoying the beautiful weather. Scan on Thursdau, can't wait.

Will you find out the sex fairy? What's your guess...?

Morning girls

I understand about keeping it a secret keep. I liked having our little secret but I've also immensely enjoyed gradually telling everyone. I thought I'd be on the phone telling the world but it hasn't been like that. It has been as and when and there are still many people we haven't told. They are going to get a shock when they see me! Their excitement makes me excited. Until those who throw in their two pennies worth about coping (see previous discussion!).

Beautiful day. Am off to visit my friend who has a new puppy. I'm sporting my new jeans and feel very pleased with myself re comfort and look.

Have a lovely day everyone. Xx

How big's the bump then shaz?

Hi Keep it's not too big but it is definitely there now. I can't do up my ordinary clothes. I've packed the jeans and trousers away now so my wardrobe is very simple suddenly. the bump gets bigger throughout the day. In the shop they had a cushiony bump to tie around you so that you can try on the clothes and that was really funny. I surprised DP by coming out of the changing room wearing it!

Are you noticing changes now? I keep thinking about how far we have come since the day we found out. It's unbelievable. I've got 3 sticks at home with the 2 pink lines (the digi ones turn off after a few days) and it feels odd to look at them but I can't seem to throw them away.

Knock knock. May I come in to worry and swear quite a bit ?

keep yes, we're definitely finding out the sex. Didn't w DS but we thought we saw his testicles on the scan so it wasn't a surprise. I think it will be easier for DS to adjust if he knows in advance that it will be a brother or sister.

shazza I still have the positive HPTs from DS six years ago!

noks welcome and we'll be sorely disappointed if you suddenly come over all ladylike on us.

shazzy I have kept my pee sticks and have taken a photo of the digi ones

fairy I have calmed down a bit about the progesterone although I am still hoping to get some injectables

keep I have a scan at EPAU on Friday but I'll only be about 5w4d so not expecting so see much really but not saying no to a scan