Pregnancy after miscarraige.........POWER to the Beanies!!!!

[oinker]

Ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

Hope this is OK.

Please feel free to change it to something else if not totally satisfied.

Have only recently started to fancy salami but can't get enough of it now.

Sorry Fabmum - meant to say hi and welcome and please don't hesitate to voice all your concerns however silly I'll bet one of us has already voiced it at some point. Started bashing your boobs yet? I spent the first half of my pregnancy permanently bashing them to check they were sore .

Slink - 4 weeks whopee. Well in 4 weeks 5 days baby will be out regardless.

I am back...........

No good news I'm afraid.
Prof. did a scan and reckons I have had anembryotic pregnancy. No beanie seen. I am totally confused. He stated that what happens is that the sac and placenta grow but the embryo doesn't. He said the sac was empty. I queried this and mentioned that a heartbeat etc was seen last week so how comes after no pain, bleeding etc there is nothing there. (I had a look too but could not see anything other than a black sometimes white/grey hole?) He then went on to say that it would be probably best to visit the ultrasound unit next tuesday b 4 my appointment with him. This is cos they have superdooper scanning equipment and they will be able to give me a definate ansa. If negative I will have to go in for an op.

B**X.... This is doing my head in.
There is not a lot i can do. I will just wait.

oh oinker I'm so, so sorry. I'd send you all the hugs and good wishes in the world if I thought it would make things better.
tcxxxx

oh god oinker!! but the beanie was there last week, how can it disapear :( what a nightmare. will the super scan maybe see more?
can't believe you have to wait yet another week to see whats going on. they were so positive last week too - oh im sorry you must be gutted:(

Oinker - {{{{hugs}}} & xxxx so sorry you are going through this upset I hope you have some answers soon.

Oinker, you poor thing. You must be a very strong person to be able to keep confronting all these obstacles. I hopr the news gets better for you. Thinking of you

Wills, I am just a little worried about either way of birth at the moment.
Late at night I get a sense of forbodding, I think everything is going to go wrong at the last minute. I am worried about a natural birth because. A) havent had one before B) worried about complications, (cords around necks etc) being over monitored, or not monitored enough C) lack of midwives etc. Also worried about whether baby is moving enough ( i know we all are worried about this) they do go on about monitoring movements in the last couple of days/weeks. SO then I think that i should have had an elective, because all the worry would be over by now. But of course I am a bit scared about that too. Another school mum told me a horror story about her elective the other day. ( at QC none the less), So bascially am just being a paranoid hyperchondriac and just want it all to be over.

Slink, so far have tried-
Acupuncture
Raspberry leaf,
Ginseng
SEX
Walking

Have not tried curry ( bad heartburn)
Pineapple (same reason and dont think it works any way)
Evening primrose ( meant to insert at night, is meant to ripen cervix)

OK enough of me for one day, am going to have some lunch, cat nap on sofa and then a long walk.

Take care everyone, especially you Oinker xx

Oinker - I don't want to get your hopes up but that scan sounds wrong. You saw a beanie and a hb last week, I think they may have scanned the wrong twin or something. And a week is a bloody long time to wait to find out. This must be tearing you apart, hope you can speak to DH, someone in RL or you have my mobile number (which I'll fetch from the car and put on charge).
Slink - I haven't done too much. I've dried all the washing, done half the dishes (DD3 got tired at this point and had to get her to sleep), hoovered, tidied (well had to be able to see the floor ot hoover it!), been into the city centre and picked up the photos and popped into Specsavers, the glasses are easily fixed but they were busy and I can't be bothered to go back 2moro so I'm just off out to a more local one, which I won't mind going back to 2moro if they're busy. Decided to do shopping when DH finished work. He wants to stay up to watch the matrix thing again 2night but can't be bothered as DD3 who was settled into her bedtime routine was horrid lsat night.
Hope everyone else OK, cori I think most ppl facing a vaginal birth for the first time will feel the same, altho there's no reason to think it will all go wrong. I've had all 3 of mine vaginally and the only complications were DD3's cord around her neck which took seconds to correct and a bit of bleeding which they never found a cause for. I'm trying to say most births do go smoothly!

Oinker- {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I totally echo what Mygirl's said. There's something not right. How can a beanie be lost? Hang in there darling as best you can. Personally I think they got it wrong aswell. You've still got symptoms (even when you thought you'd mc, and were only carrying one beanie), as you said you have'nt passed anything. Hunny this is confusing as hell to me so god knows what you're going through.
Oh and once you've seen/heard the heartbeat the risk of mc is far, far less. So how can a beanie disappear? & for you hun x

cori- well you've tried most things. try sweeping your own cervix (dunno how to but must be instructions somewhere on the net)
mygirl is right vaginal birth goes right most of the time. my dd had the cord round her neck a few times and it was too tight to pull over so had to be cut before she was born. the midwifes were really calm and did what they had to do and soon enough panic was over.
i think you just need to make sure that someone checks your monitoring machine at least every 15 minutes, as the babys heartbeat fluctuating can be the first sign of uterine rupture (1-200 chance) although from what ive read much lower than this.
this is what i was worried about with being in hospital which is why i was so desperate for a homebirth, as i know with a homebirth i get a midwife right the way through and i know with hospitals midwifes are spread too thinly.

mygirl - im exhausted hearing about what you have done already today! i have gone for coffee with friends and then sat on my arse the rest of the day doing a bit of online shopping lol

I have just had a thought.....

I hope this makes sense.

Prof Bennett who I saw today was looking at a scan picture in my file. He said this was the picture which Prof Brosnens took last week. I told him that the Prof had not taken a picture. (not in my presence anyhows). Prof Bennett then said it was definately not his as he scans the other way round. Basically back to front. One scans with the light at the bottom of the screen and the other with the light from the top.
Last week the miscarried twin sac was at the bottom right of screen. The viable one was at the top left of the screen. Prof. Bennett was concentrating on the sac at the top left of screen today. Would that have been the miscarried sac. if the scan was back to front or upside down ? .....
I am confussed and clutching at straws...
Any ideas..????

could well be oinker, is there a way you can ring them to ask or maybe get another scan sooner than next week?
it does seem very strange.
i don't think you are clutching at straws i think they should give you more information.

It could've been hun. I don't blame you clutching at straws. I would be too. I cannot understand how 2 scans can be so different.

Clinic is shut now until next tuesday..... I am not going to bleep them. They'll think I am taking the piss!!
I'm just going to have to wait.

I am just going to have to carry on as b 4 and wait.
I will be fine.
I'm not going to think about it too much otherwise I will go nuts.

Hunny it's awful torture. It's not on. Fgs. Like you have'nt been through enough already.
Try the epu, they may squeeze you in this week.

Oinker I agree with the others. I simply can't believe that what he saw was not the blighted twin. I also think HK's got a good point. Go see the EPU. Its not on to make you wait another week - that's like going to hell and back, we should know we've all been there and so have you. GO FOR IT! As you said in the title - Power to the beanies.

Cori, one of the reasons I asked was .... that I feel very similar to you. They say that you forget about your previous labours and the pain etc and in many ways I think they're right but why does it all have to come steaming back just before you're about to do it again. I've not had a cesarian but am petrified of having one. Equally I have the same nerves as you do about a vaginal. Both dds had the cords around their necks and each time I had to pant whilst they cut the cord. I can't help panicing that maybe this time will be the time it doesn't have a happy ending. I think it was either you or diddle saying to slink that we're now past the worrying that little one might miscarry and onto the scared stupid about the birth. I also relate completely to slink's desire for a home birth. If dd2's birth hadn't been so dangerous for me I too would be clamouring for a home birth as she's completely right in that you get far better care. Just wanted to let you know that I am sharing your fears with you and keep em coming cos I fully understand what your going through honey. But can I ask you a question. Did it seriously take 6 weeks before you could drive and how long did it take before you could pick up you little ones and how the hell did you cope with being in hospital - sorry but I really hate being hospitals - this is almost my biggest worry. How did you manage to get any sleep whatsoever?

anembryonic pregnancy and blighted ovum is the same thing apparently. Agree with the others if you saw a heartbeat, it cant just disappear baby and all.

Wills, I didn't drive before so I don't really know if it takes six weeks. I cant see how it would though, unless there are particular complications. That's really going to throw me if it is true. DS' school is 1 mile away and DH doesn't drive. I was in hospital with DS for two days after i think, but was rushed back in because of an allergic reaction to codeine. I don't remember having problems picking him up after the first day or so, but imagine you would be able to pick up toddlers.
My other worry about a c section, ( i know completely irrational) is that I will
feel like a miserable failure not being able to do it naturally like everyone else.

I have an appointment to see my GP tomorrow evening. I am going to get him to do HCG tests. It may give me some ammunition for net week should I need it.

I am an idiot. The ultrasound section did offer me a scan for tomorrow but I said no cos the Prof. had said to wait a week as this be a difinative answer.

Lets talk about something else otherwise I will go mad.

Thanks for all the support.... I am listening.

oh oinker what a fecking nighmare. Deep breathe, and be strong for a little bit longer...keeping everything crossed for you. I'd def push for an earlier scan - who cares what they think. You really don't want to be going mad!!

Got anything nice for supper tonight? (casual change of topic there!)

cori- you mustn't feel like having a cs is in some way failing. i do know what you mean though as i felt alot more accomplishment after my vaginal birth compared to my cs but my cs came as a bit of a shock.
you could always just go furthur overdue and cancel the cs booked- after all baby will come at some point and its your choice.

oinker- hgc is a good plan

tea tonight is lasangne - can never spell that

Tea is Fish + salad. Fell through a friends garden directors chair . Am completely mortified and on a diet.

Cori. I've not had a cs so can't talk from experience but I don't understand why women feel that they've failed. You've produced life honey. I don't want a cs as my pelvic floor is shot anyway and don't want a scar and a useless pelvic floor . I think there is too much in the papers and media about cs's and the way a child arrives into the world in general. its as though the upto 72 hours of the child coming down the birth canal is somehow more important than the preceeding 9 months of creating that life. Like the crap they're talking about re: Tom Cruise's partner and how she was supposed to be quiet through the birth otherwise the kid would have bad vibes or some such crap. Creating a life is blooming hardwork and stunningly stressful. The way that life arrives into the world is not something that should be the center of focus. You have created life Cori - just stick with that thought and that alone honey.

yes i know that. Its just a balancing act really, what is worse. The worry of going to far overdue and the subsequent fears of deteriaoting placenta, constant worry of movements etc. or getting it over an done with a section.

If i hadnt have had the miscarriage, I probably would never have felt this way. Because I was 17 weeks I had to be induced and 'deliver' the baby. At the time a midwife and a doctor said it might be diffcult for me to have a natural labour ( at term) due to having a small pelvis. (I mentioned this to my consutltant and she said I could try for VBAC because you can never tell how the pelvis expands until labour). Despite going through this traumatic event, i rememeber feeling a spark of pride that I had done it ( Must have been the hormones) then feeling a dramatic let down that I would never be able to give 'birth' to an alive baby.

Anyway DH is cooking dinner - STEAK - good for my iron levels.

Dinner was......

Home made chicken korma with boiled rice...
and pudding is gonna be.......
Vanilla ice cream with fruits of the forest

Cori - am having the same issues. I was induced with dd1 and because of that am absolutely petrified of being induced again. I found this article helped me the other day: \link{http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/labourandbirth/planningyourbabysbirth/overdue/\being overdue}
Especially the bit about being seriously overdue and what it actually does to the odds.

Hi everyone. Oinker, I do hope you get better news next time--how awful to be given so much hope at your last visit, only to hear something different this time around. Still thinking of you and sending lots of vibes your way.
Cori, so long as you get a healthy baby at the end of it who cares which way it comes out. I'm expecting my elective section to be a very different experience to my emergency c-section, but I'm sure I will still be anxious about it going horribly wrong.