18+4 and no heartbeat with doppler- please tell me what to do :-(

[jkb]

Hi

I am 18+4 and have a doppler & have been finding the heartbeat within seconds since i was about 12 weeks. I have been having problems & so i always doppler twice a day (I have a huge clot in my womb which has caused 2 massive bleeds- last one at 16 weeks). The heart was fine this morning- now this even- despite me trying for over 1 hour- NOTHING- i am very skilled at using a doppler as was shown by a previous midwife. Could my baby have died- i cant sleep now- i dont know what to do :-(

[HorridHeffalumpsWickedWoozles]

So so sorry for your loss xx

[tunise]

Oh my, so sorry that you had such awful news today. Do you have plenty of family and friends around to support you?

[chezchaos]

I'm so very sorry for your loss x

[PinkFondantFancy]

OP I've asked for my earlier comment to be removed as it feels insensitive now, even though it was well meaning at the time. So sorry again for your loss xx

[LittleWhiteWolf]

I'm so sad for you OP. You poor, poor thing

[schobe]

Oh this is so dreadful, I'm so sorry.

[MrsBucketxx]

im so sorry for your loss, i realky was hoping the outcome would be different.

[jkb]

I am feeling so strange right now- like im in a dream- like this isent really happening.. i dont know how i am going to cope. I am being induced Thursday & am terrified- no idea how I am going to do it.

[Dogsmom]

I hadn't read this thread until just now and am so upset for you, what an awful thing to happen. Huge hugs and sympathy, keep coming on here for support and all the best for Thursday.

[plumviolet]

You will do it. They have drugs that will help you through and don't be afraid to ask if you need them.

If you can, spend some time with your baby. My family came in and everybody held my little girl and said goodbye. It helped me heal.

Jkb i wish you weren't going through this, you will find the strength.

[Kelerina]

I am so sorry for your loss OP

[Bearandcub]

I'm so very sorry for your loss

[cjbk1]

jkb iv just been crying for you and your baby I still am I know it doesn't help but I'm really really sorry x

[noblegiraffe]

Oh no :( Wishing you strength to get through this.

[Needingsomeadvice]

I am so very sorry xxx I have only just found this thread and I was really hoping it was ok.
My first baby, a boy, was stillborn. It was 7 years ago but it never goes away.
Yes you can have a cremation as the service after DS' s was a baby who was 16 weeks. Be aware though that some crematoriums produce only a tiny amount of ashes or even none for a baby. There are some who will use a different method to have ashes. My DS has a tiny amount.
My thoughts are with you. The SANDS forum are very supportive and kind and helped get me through. Be kind to yourself, take lots of photographs of your baby and make sure you get footprints/handprints if possible. Do not be afraid of meeting your baby. I was so scared but you will only have this one chance. Bring a special blanket if you have one, or a tiny teddy. My own regret was not taking my own photographs as the Polaroids I have are blurry.

[MollyMurphy]

So sorry honey - thinking of you

[hellymelly]

Oh jkb, I'm so sorry, I was really hoping at the start of the thread that all would be fine once you were seen by a midwife. It must be the most awful shock. There is nothing comforting I can say I know, I only wish there was. . I am thinking of you and wishing you strength. I hope you have lots of support around you.

[lunar1]

I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family at this horrible time.

[whatchagonna]

So sorry. Please take care of yourself and your other DC. Surround yourself with support and love.

[Petcat]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Will be thinking of you and your family tonight xx

[JaffaSnaffle]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I found out that I had miscarried at 17 weeks last summer and it is such a hard thing to go through.

I am not sure if this is any help to you, but for me, the worst day was the one I found out. Although the induction was so very sad, the hospital treated me and my husband with so much kindness and respect, it was not as bad as I imagined.

If you have specific worries, could you call the hospital and talk to them before you go in later this week, so you know what to expect?

I am thinking of you and your family tonight. Make sure you access as much support as you need, both now and in the weeks to come. X

[lotsofcheese]

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Am sure there's not words to describe what you're feeling.

There is good support from the miscarriage & pregnancy loss threads, if you feel up to taking a look.

Take care of yourself x

[dontmixthecolours]

I'm very very sorry. My little boy, Christopher was born at 20 weeks exactly a year ago

I agree with the poster who said that the day you find out is worse than having the baby. I'd have that time over and over because I had my beautiful boy with me

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself

[SoYo]

So sorry for your terrible loss. Please try not to be too terrified about tomorrow. The midwives who will look after you are trained in looking after everything you need and giving you one to one care. You and your DH should write a list of questions before you go in as once you're in it's so easy to forget and they will be able to take you through it all. In terms of cremation, part of the process tomorrow will be discussing your wishes for this and giving you all the contact details you need to organised things. Most hospitals have links to the SANDS charity who are great so get in contact with them if there's anything you need. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can and you get as much support as possible. x

[giraffesCantLightFireworks]

thinking of you, so very sorry x