Pssttt come 'ere quick..

[McPhee]

I've just been and erm, tidied myself up before the big day. And, ahem, I wasn't expecting what's just faced me in the mirror.

Are things supposed to be so swollen/large down there

Nearly 38 weeks and not looked till now

33 weeks and not looking.

Mine is! I am 35+4 and things have most defintley changed, I was quite shocked at it too!

I would suggest you don't look after you've had the baby then...

I was only saying today it felt like I'd been kicked in the fadge...I didn't expect it to look like I have

Blimey, I've not idea if my bits even still exist. I wiggled a razor in the general direction of where they used to be this morning and managed to emerge injury free which was a result.

I'm 21 weeks and mine already are like that I'm fucked

I've wiggled a razor too. Not very successfully either

DP will laugh his socks off

So my bits are normal then yes?

I did it to last week (due tomorrow) took me bloody ages with the help of a mirror had to have a lie down afterwards as made me so tired! I was shocked at the size of my bits too. Dh hasn't said anything. I am definitely not looking after birth!

Lol oh I couldn't do it I'd be too scared ? My friend attempted to shave and cut herself and ended up at a and e I get my dp to do it

Lol this has made me laugh sooooooo much. This sounds so familiar but I never spoke to anyone so thought I was really weird....also wishing I'd now used a mirror when waving razor around hoping to make contact.

I am 29 weeks and it feels like I'm sitting on a sponge! And with the truly ineffectual and poor attempts I made on my vanished bikini line a few days ago it looks like the council did it (or I have minge mange)

Nearly wetting myself at the thought of the council doing fanjo maintenance.

But were they purple? With DS I attempted said gardening with help of a mirror and discovered as well as a light swelling my fanjo had turned a deep purple/ bluey colour I daren't look this time round!

Still a healthy pink here

McPhee...I'm 38+6 and yesterday had a wax in preparation. Surprisingly didn't hurt as much as expected at the time, but afterwards I looked as it was sore. So swollen!! Made worse by the waxing. And I have now discovered I have vulva varicose veins. Delightful.

Wish I'd never looked!

Oh heck. I didn't know you could get them down there.

But respect to you for the wax. I thought the razor was bad enough

I recall hearing some rap song when I was younger that said something about a 'fat fanny', horrible phrase that stuck with me which at the time I thought meant lady bits but as it was American it probably didn't! However, I now seem to have afore mentioned at 25 weeks - lovely!

And how the hell do I trim it? Nearly cut something off the other day

Oooooh god...stop please. I just laughed out loud in the middle of my office so hard that I was Shushed by the stuck up old lady opposite.

Boy...do I remember my Swollen Fanjo!!! I gave up with the gardening after I went for my 20 week scan and the consultant (female consultant I might add) decided to take me aside and mention that I had made quite a mess of it downstairs and I really didn't need to bother. She was very polite about it but the thing is I new I had as I cut myself so badly I had to apply a Sanitry Towel until it stopped.

After this occured and I had left it to grow considerable my and DP were....ahem.....getting down to it and he decided to make the same noise Tarzan does before said act as it was apparently 'a jungle down there'.

Needless to say this time round I will not be making the same mistake. Plus the fluff hides the swollenness (a bit) LOL.

I'm only 11 weeks and am enjoying the freedom of not bothering

storm why was your undercarriage out at the 20w scan?

I had an internal Scan and then had to have a CVS hun

Swlling is normal, and as someone pointed out earlier, hide all vanity mirrors after the birth, you will be horrified, my Barry Gibb looked, well didn't look like Barry Gibb anymore. Have had 3 and only made the mistake of looking oncE.

This thread is brilliant, thanks OP. I am letting it all grow wild this time, I try not to look too much after the mess DD made of me.

PMSL at the monographer taking you aside storm!

I also advise avoiding deodorant down there, I used hairspray by mistake and looked like I was giving birth to Amy Winehouse.

Barry Gibb?!

Amy Winehouse?!