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Original poster

'You're only 20 weeks?! Gosh you're big!'

119 replies

8abyDust · 13/05/2012 14:40

This statement is doing my head in! Is there a certain size I should be at 20 weeks because some women (especially ones of my moms age for some reasons) keep feeling the need to tell me that I'm big for how many weeks I am and is it twins. Its not twins! Just one little boy! I am all bump really and haven't put much weight on anywhere else. I was really proud of my nice bump but now am starting to feel very self conscious of it. I had a pot belly before so some of it is probably that. Rant over.

Anyone else had similar?

Thanks!!!!!

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Flisspaps · 13/05/2012 14:44

Ignore them. Next week someone will tell you that you're tiny and are you sure that baby is OK?

People can't help commenting on a bump for some reason.

PinkChampagneandStrawberries · 13/05/2012 14:49

I used to get told the opposite eg are you sure your 20 weeks you only look 16 etc one bitch woman said there might be something wrong as my baby certainly couldn't be growing Sad
My advice is ignore them they usually just like having something to say, it will be the same when baby gets here

Bibulus · 13/05/2012 14:54

i've had this a lot - 'are you sure there's just one in there?' at least once a day from some wit or other

But I seem to get more or less equal numbers of people either saying how huge my belly is or how neat it is! so I have stopped paying attention really

I try to remind myself that they are just making small talk and trying to be nice - everyone wants to comment on the pregnancy but I think people struggle to think of things to say so end up commenting on the most obvious thing

motherinferior · 13/05/2012 15:00

I was so huge by the end of my second pregnancy that lorry drivers were leaning out their lorries to comment, and people were sending helpful emails from across the country informing me that apparently I was enormous and the baby would be a 'whopper'...

I wanted to SCREAM. Not least because I'd only put on stone, it was all just in that one area.

It may cheer you to know the damn weight went v quickly afterwards, unlike the year-long struggle with baby weight after DD1...Grin

littleredmonkey · 13/05/2012 15:30

I am 19 weeks and have a massive bump, in my work place there are three of us a couple of weeks apart, the other ladies are 1 week ahead and the other 3 weeks, I am twice the size of them both. Everyone is trying to keep touching me, some of the ladies laugh when they touch my bump I slap their ass after, if u touch me I do the same to you. Makes them laugh.
As long as the baby and you are health who cares what others think. I am twice the size at night then first thing in the morining, I measured myself last week .
Oh also a great place to balance a snickers bar on !!

mrsshears · 13/05/2012 18:17

I have had this all the way through, i even had a mother point and laugh in the school playground Hmm
I do think there can be something in bump size though as at my last growth scan the baby was 7 and a half pounds at 35+ weeks , however a friend of mine had a near 9lb baby and virtually no bump so i think it varies.

littlemissnormal · 13/05/2012 19:30

Flisspaps is right; people can't help but comment. I'm 40 weeks now and in the 5 minutes I'm stood at DDs school gates I will get told I'm big, I'm small, it's dropped, it's high, it'll be out soon, it won't be out for ages....I just smile and agree with them all now!!

MissCoffeeNWine · 13/05/2012 19:33

I'm 23 weeks and just look fat. I'd much rather be obviously pregnant. If that helps. Otherwise, earplugs? Every bump is different. Even the ones that aren't bump shaped.

RachelWalsh · 13/05/2012 19:52

The conclusion I've drawn is that people have no idea what size a bump is supposed to be at any stage of pregnancy yet feel strangely compelled to comment. One person will tell me I'm huge and ten minutes later someone else will tell me how neat it is.

Generally it doesn't bother me except when people make comments along the lines that it is so small that something must be wrong, to them I may break my habit of nodding and smiling and say something like i am measuring "exactly right for my dates but isnt it hard to judge when bumps can look so different on different people?" Which is clearly a waste of my time but hey ho!

I think that mostly we don't actually meet that many pregnant people so we all get quite excited when we do and feel like we have to say something, usually something annoying and daft and yet well meant!

milk · 13/05/2012 20:17

I'm 19 weeks and people say I am big :(

FutureNannyOgg · 13/05/2012 20:30

Buy this shirt? www.cafepress.co.uk/mf/19527481/maternity-cut-dark-tshirt_maternity

PollyIndia · 13/05/2012 21:37

People say this to me a lot, ask if I am having twins, say oh you'll be enormous etc, but it doesn't bother me at all. It's pretty hard to offend me though. I tend to find it funny when people say things that I know are intended to be a bit of a dig. People generally love commentating on other people's lives - ignore the bits you don't like, take on board the bits you do. I have been warned that this gets a million times worse when you have a baby as EVERYONE has an opinion!

I actually feel quite proud of my big sticky out bump - not sure I should be, and I wouldn't tell anyone who knew me that!!

justlemonade · 13/05/2012 21:54

The people of my mum's generation tell me I'm big, offering the 'is it reins' type comments. People of my own age (who have a v clear memory of their own pregnancy) tell me it's 'neat'. I'm choosing to listen to the less senile ones!

wasabipeanut · 13/05/2012 22:09

I got really upset about this earlier on in my current pregnancy as lots of people kept saying how small I was and they were "massive" at this stage. I went to the GP because I was freaked out (not just because of the size thing but also because I couldn't feel much movement at even about 18 weeks - as it turned out had anterior placenta) and he measured me and said "you actually measure a week ahead."

I am now 34 weeks and told I look "neat." I feel I look like about the size of the people carrier we've just had to buy.

You'd think third time round I'd know better. The moral of my story is......ignore everyone and smile politely.

MissPollysTrolleyed · 14/05/2012 08:17

My bump has grown terrifyingly over the past couple of weeks. I'm 20 weeks and I put on four pounds just last week (a stone in total since getting pregnant). I feel really self-conscious and unhappy about it and find it stunning that people feel it's helpful or appropriate to remark on it.

Anyone else finding it impossible to dress too? I'm okay for work as I have a couple of nice wrap dresses but casual clothes are proving more difficult. I have a long body at the best of times but now have a long and round belly so very few of my pre-maternity tops are fitting me and I'm struggling to find any really nice maternity clothes. After much trying on of clothes, I cobbled together one nice outfit yesterday so am probably just going to wear that day in and day out from now on Blush.

DangerMousey · 14/05/2012 08:43

I am only 11 weeks and bought a pair of maternity black tailored trousers for work yesterday!! I obviously don't have a bump yet but have put on 4lbs already and wearing my normal work trousers was becoming seriously uncomfortable!

Am trying to watch what I'm eating but it's hard! Am convinced I am going to end up pittin on about 5 stone :(

Ambrosius · 14/05/2012 08:52

MissPolly - Get some bump bands, they were a life saver for my enormous bump when I was pg, H and M and Gap do them I think!
Or Next

PollyIndia · 14/05/2012 09:24

Yes, am also struggling to dress Miss Polly! I've got a few jersey fitted dresses and they look ok with the bump, but most of my clothes have a waist and I don't anymore.
I don't really want to get into leggings and long tops just yet, but my jeans don't fit anymore without a rubber band yet the maternity jeans I tried on in topshop on friday looked awful!
So I'm a bit stuck. I wish the weather would get better as I think it will be easier if it's warmer in dresses and sandals - prob when it's cold is I wear lots of clothes and just look like a barrel!

Selyna · 14/05/2012 09:25

There was a woman who once said to me whilst in a lift, "ooh not long to go now"

"Ah 5 months actually"

Boy did she go quiet the rest of the lift ride!

FioFio · 14/05/2012 09:29

with my middle one I didn't show until the last 6 weeks and that was even worse tbh

was like an elephant with the third though....

take no notice!

glittershoes · 14/05/2012 09:54

It is soooo hard isn't it? I am 27 weeks and have been told by lots of helpful people that I am 'huge', 'are you sure it is just one baby?!' and I even got a 'Wow, you will have trouble fitting through doors soon'.

I am trying to ignore it, I mean, I know I am not huge, I am still in my normal work trousers for heaven's sake (all be it with a bump band!). Just breathe through it and remind yourself that these people are being completely rude and insensitive and that you have something so much more important going on.

It is like being pregnant makes you public property; you would hardly go up to someone who is fairly large but not pregnant and say something similar would you?!

ladygagoo · 14/05/2012 09:58

Ha! I get this too, most annoyingly from my mum.

me: I'm so sick of everyone going on about how big I am

mum: well I'm glad you've had the second scan so we definitely know its just one in there

me: aaarrrrrrghh.

For the record, I'm 22 weeks, I am obviously pregnant (secretly I like this) but if my mum mentions it one more time please don't hold me responsible for my actions

Kveta · 14/05/2012 10:06

I'm 37 weeks tomorrow.

At the weekend, I had one person say 'ooh, you look ready to drop!'

I then had another say 'how long?' and when I said 'about 3 weeks', she replied 'ooh, but you can't be that close, you've hardly a bump at all!'

within 5 minutes of each other.

And I am measuring big for dates.

I have come to the conclusion that the general public (where I live anyway) are all barking.

Susurrant · 14/05/2012 10:21

It's irritating isn't it? That people feel the need to comment. I am 17 weeks with a very modest bump (and feeling very self-conscious about it already) and my MIL said to me on Saturday 'It's going to be a big baby isn't it?' I was like 'What? How the f* would I know? Ask me again in 23 weeks!' rolls eyes

MissPollysTrolleyed · 14/05/2012 11:20

Heh, you ladies make me laugh and make me feel much better about my ever-increasing girth. Ladygagoo my Mum is okay but my sister always makes me show my bump on SKYPE (she lives far away from me) and comments on how big it is. I don't ask her to show me her (admittedly not very big) behind and then pass remarks on it.

I think I may be over-sensitive though. I also get really tetchy when people ask when's my exact due date. I know they are just going to put it in their diary and send well-intentioned but super-annoying good luck texts the day beforehand. I've been giving people a date four days after my due date (as that's when DC1 arrived) and explaining that a due date means that your baby will arrive in the four week period around that date so it's a due month and not a due date. I probably sound a bit crazy and hormonal but it will be worth it if they all feck off and leave me alone if I'm overdue.

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