'You're only 20 weeks?! Gosh you're big!'

[8abyDust]

This statement is doing my head in! Is there a certain size I should be at 20 weeks because some women (especially ones of my moms age for some reasons) keep feeling the need to tell me that I'm big for how many weeks I am and is it twins. Its not twins! Just one little boy! I am all bump really and haven't put much weight on anywhere else. I was really proud of my nice bump but now am starting to feel very self conscious of it. I had a pot belly before so some of it is probably that. Rant over.

Anyone else had similar?

Thanks!!!!!

I get this all the time too and it drives me crazy. The only thing that cheers me up is remembering that I'm not a celebrity and don't have to be "shamed" on the pages of Heat magazine. I'm currently pg with DC3 and am 12 weeks and the comments have already started.

Comments on my previous pregnancies include....

"ohhhh not long now eh? .... oh really, you're only five months? ....Twins? ....Right, must be a very big boy you're having..... Oh you know you're having a girl"

"Are you still pregnant wow, I thought you were due ages ago"

and a personal favourite from a shop assistant when I was feeling particularly low and looking for something to wear for a wedding.... "you're 22 weeks. You are much much bigger than my sister who is due next month. She wasn't even showing at 22 weeks but she's quite slender"

And when someone saw me after I had DS and was back to normal self (and had only met me during pregnancy)...
"You've lost loads of weight! Were you that thin before? Really? I just thought you were a fat pregnant girl"

Iammummy You are absolutely right - it is always women. Unless it's my dad.

I will not be taking this crap this pregnancy (says I scoffing Ben and Jerry's Karamel Sutra).

im 32 weeks and have been subject to lots of comments. library lady asked today how long i had left and when i said 8 weeks she said oh you poor thing you look ready to go now. OH saw the look on my face and has decided he is going to make people feel very un comfortable from now on by saying im not even pregnant so thy feel bad not me.

I'm 20 weeks and have an average size bump and today in a lesson one yr9 boy turned to another and whispered (quite loudly) "oh my God, I swear she's got bigger since last lesson", the other just stared at the bump. I pulled my cardigan round quick. Hate to think what they'll be saying come September when I'm 35+ wks. Am assuming they know it's meant to get bigger...

At 36 weeks a colleague said, "How long have you got to go? You're what, six months now?". Try eight plus. I look chunky but normal from the front and colossal from the side, like a woman who's swallowed a basketball . I just went out to dinner with my MIL and struggled getting out of the place because people couldn't tell I'm pg until they saw my side elevation. It was farcical. "Excuse me.." "Why? Oh!". "Excuse me..." etc

I constantly had that but I didn't really care tbh as I had a bloody beach ball bump and I am only 5 foot and had to go into maternity wear at 12 weeks. I looked ridiculous!

I had a very small bump and MIL used to feel it (which I hated) and ask "are you sure you're pregnant?"

I had strangers insist it was twins, the second twin was hiding, they knew because it happened to someone who knew someone, there was no way I could only have one in there.

Glad I'm not the only one with a sister who insists on seeing my bump on Skype! Had to do that yesterday, felt most odd!

No one has said anything about my size yet, except my osteopath who was only looking at my back and said she almost forgot I was pg cos it didn't show at all from behind (bless her!) - I am nearly 19w pg and suddenly got very bulgy this week but I think part of it is my muffintop has all been squeezed upwards.

The thing that I really hate is when people tell you about all the people they know who had multiple MCs (I had 3 before this pg), not thinking that it's the last thing you want to know about... I'm worried enough without her telling me more things to worry me!

on my due date I went out with DH for a posh dinner date in one of our favourite 'anniversary' fancy restaurants. I wore rather a nice LBD and we had a gorgeous evening. As I left I was climbing up the stairs from the loo and the coat-check man said "Wow... twins?" and I said "erm, no, but due today. Yesterday, actually. So stand back!" and watched him gawp like a fish.

This pregnancy I'm just going to be telling people to fuck off. If I'm feeling polite I might say "Yes, everyone says that" in a steely tone, or even the MN classic "Gosh, did you mean that to sound rude?" I might smile at them while I do it. IF they're lucky.

Not bump related, but people who INSISTED that since we had two DSs, that i must have wanted a DD when i was pregnant a third time. One woman, a friend's mother, said to me when I was 20 weeks "so, will you have another baby if you have another boy". I felt like replying that yes, we would instantly drown the offending third son if that is what I popped out and try to get it right with another baby.
The constant harping on about me needing a daughter from literally all and sundry drove me mental. I wanted a healthy baby, and by the end of the pregnancy I actually perversely wanted a boy just to shut all the gits up. I ended up with my DD and wouldn't swap her for the world, but I do look at both my aunts when they are surrounded by their respective three strapping adult sons and think that I would have been just as happy with another boy.

I loved all the comments when I was pregnant with DS. People love a pregnant woman and can't help but comment on the bump. I'm sure that 99% of the comments are not meant to offend, so just smile and don't give it another thought! FWIW I would desperately love to be pregnant again (3 yrs TTC DC2 and lots of heartache) I can't wait to be pregnant and have people telling me how big and blooming I look! [hopeful emoticon]

I think most people are just trying to be kind. And feel the need to let you know they've noticed that you're pregnant (why is it anyone else's business, especially people you don't know?).

With DD1 I was taken in for induction at 39Wks as there was literally no fluid left, and endured a week of people who'd just had their babies (big communal ward) comiserating about pre-eclampsia, poor thing. I gave up explaining I was full term.

With DD2 I was literally huge at 6wks, and stayed that way right up until she was 2 weeks late. Many comments at the school gates "Still here then?" is the worst, as yes, I clearly still was, thanks for pointing that out.

DD3 was a nice 'neat' bump. Didn't get much except the 'are you hoping for a boy?' comments. Brought smartly to a halt by, "No, she was unplanned, and I've just split up with my partner, so am a bit weepy just now"...

And now I'm 38+4 with a DS. Two weeks ago I was getting 'gosh, I didn't even know you were pregnant' comments, now it looks like I've got a football up my shirt. The 'did you keep trying for a boy' comments are ghastly. We've moved since DD3, and very few people here know that DP isn't my DD's dad. Have again, given up trying to explain, and now just smile and say 'that's right'. It totally wrong foots people.

Good luck everyone, bumps are fabulous, regardless of their shape or size!

I had a massive bump at that stage in both my pregnancies (both DC were well over 8lbs when born) - take it as a compliment. I was also asked if I was carrying twins (on both pregnancies). People just don't always know what to say when you're pregnant.

Who the cluck do these people think they are? Do they go up to people with guide dogs and say, "Oh, so you can't see so well then."? Do they approach wheel chair uses to say that it must be tough being unable to walk? Why do total stranges think it's OK to comment on someone's body? I wouldn't say to a stranger that I thought their hair looked like shit or comment on their weight so why should they do such a thing?

I tell pregnant women "You look WONDERFUL!" or "You look FANTASTIC!" absolutely whatever they look like. I think it's because we're used to asking after a pregnant woman's health (how are you feeling?) and we tend to follow that with "you look big/tired/whatever" so I do "You look wonderful! How are you feeling?" - this is friends, of course. I don't do small talk to pregnant women strangers. Unless I'm offering them a seat on public transport, or it's obvious I'm pregnant too and I'm asking them about their double-buggy choices (bit of a current obsession).
But mainly my rule is: if you're going to say something about how someone looks, say something nice. Poor buggers. It's the least I can do! Being pregnant is foul.

I don't mind one off comments, I think people just feel it's appropriate to comment on your pregnancy/size/bump and it's mostly well intentioned (if misplaced), but the cumulative effect of several people a day is draining and starts to make you paranoid that you're too small/big/high/low etc. I've come to appreciate the odd few who just say you look lovely or similar and have vowed that is all I will ever say to pregnant women in the future.

i was MASSIVE, totally huge and a real shock to anyone who knew me before:) worst one i got was 'wow look at you! eat eat eat huh!?"

blackcurrents one of my pet hates is people who always say you look great even when you know you blatently don't, it's patronising. A compiment is only a compiment if its true.

I say pregnant woman look "nice and neat" if they do, I say the look great if they do, if they look like crap, which at times everyone does, I'm not going to make them feel worse by giving them a phoney pity compiment, I'll find something ELSE nice to say

the "oooh you've got big" is in fact as well meant/harmless as "aww isn't he/she tiny" in relation to newborns

both can be taken as general interest or taken as "fat" and "your baby is unfed"

I know exactly how you feel! I am 33 weeks and my bump is enormous but I like to think it is and not for everyone to tell me it is! I have had an obvious bump since about 10 weeks and I am now measuring big (3 weeks ahead) and the consultants are considering a section or an early induction but as long as me and baby are health.................i don't care!
People I work with are the best with the usual 'ooooh how long left now' 'Are you sure theres only one in there' 'How are you going to get that out? Rather you than me'! I have tried to ignore them but it does get to you when it is all the time.
I am proud of my lovely big bump and am impressed that at 33 weeks I still have a waist and don't realy look pregnant from the back!

Ignore them and good luck with the arrival of your gorgeous baby boy/girl xxx

Tough to say whether I disliked the comments more or the inappropriate touching. When did I ever invite strangers to touch my belly? Would have probably punched them if I'd thought I could run away fast enough. I'm taking the precaution of just getting fat early this time, should discourage both as it causes confusion!

I am not arsed by the touching or the bump comments. However my gay mate, who always makes a point of taking people down a peg or two, told me THREE TIMES at dinner on thurs that my legs were looking chunky and I had defo put on weight on my thighs.
It's actually pretty laughable as it's just so rude. But I was irritated by him..

Aaargh, it's so annoying. A woman at my work said the other week 'Oh my god you've just BALLOONED' er thanks?! I am 36 weeks now, I think I'm entitled. I am still wearing a size 14 maxi dress even though I look like I'm smuggling a beach ball :-)

My MIL is the worst culprit. Every bloody time I seeher she passes comment.." are you sure it's not twins?" , " you're going to go pop soon if you get much bigger" etc etc. As I am only 26 weeks I am undoubtedly going to get bigger! She was like this when I was pregnant with DD and it got very wearing vety quickly then too .

Every time I saw my MIL during my first pregnancy she spun me around and told me how much my back side had spread, before asking me how much weight I had put on (2 stone by the time i popped). To which she would respond 'oh is that all, I thought it was more than that'. OnChristmas day (two days before I was due) she said to her friend (in front of me), 'look how much her back side has spread, I told she she was getting big'.

I'm currently on my third pregnancy. I walked into my front room last week for her to greet me with 'hello little fatty'.