'You're only 20 weeks?! Gosh you're big!'

[8abyDust]

This statement is doing my head in! Is there a certain size I should be at 20 weeks because some women (especially ones of my moms age for some reasons) keep feeling the need to tell me that I'm big for how many weeks I am and is it twins. Its not twins! Just one little boy! I am all bump really and haven't put much weight on anywhere else. I was really proud of my nice bump but now am starting to feel very self conscious of it. I had a pot belly before so some of it is probably that. Rant over.

Anyone else had similar?

Thanks!!!!!

She sounds like a charmer peasizedbladder! You must have the patience of a saint

monkey I wasn't clear - not a fake "you look wonderful!" but a real one. So, "how are you feeling?" followed by 'your hair/shoes/coat looks great" depending on which is true. There's always something nice to admire about someone.

I agree, blatant lying is pointless and a bit patronising. That doesn't mean it is impossible to give someone a sincere compliment.

Reported

I'm 40+5 today and Last week my sister told me that I had a neat little bump, but had put all the weight on my arse. Charming. She then proceeded to tell me that she only out on 20lbs with each of her boys (I've out on more like 40lbs) and sent me the thoughtful gift of a coffee table book on designer dresses, full of beautiful skinny models wafting about in bits of silk. Just what a new (apparently fat) mum needs .

When i was preggars with dc4, my dc 2 was in nursery- this lady there who was morbidly obese used to say to me every day "are you sure its not twins, you look huge"! Of course i knew it wasn't twins and told her this everytime she said it, and she came out at 6lb 9 & i used to get random strangers saying to me "is it a girl or boy" when i said it was my 4th girl i used to get barraged with "are you guna have another baby?" "my sympathys" "bet you are dissapointed?" it used to make soooo angry , all i cared about is that my child was healthy

I had; 'you're pregnant..wow, I just thought you were fat'
'is it twins..'
'you're big aren't you. Maybe you should think about healthy eating' (from a bony woman who has never had a baby)

and my favourite...

'oooh I hope it's a girl' from various family members

I soooo hate this. I too have had similar dimwitted comments from people I know and complete strangers alike and get really fed up with it. Constantly get told Im having twins (cos yeah the hospital staff havent got a clue what theyre talking about with their scans) and that I wont last till my due date. People are so rude calling me fatty etc I just wanna say "Im pregnant, whats your excuse!"

I agree op, tis very annoying! But be careful, I once very innocently posted about this as a newbie and was told I had body image issues and I was going to pass these on to my unborn child!

Realhousewife I would say its the others that have issues, making comments like that but thats me! I think Im allowed to be extra ratty and hormonal when pregnant

Yes I completely agree! Apparently the flamers loved being called huge when they were pregnant, because they were pregnant etc and they loved their bump, well personally I think it is rude to call a woman huge whether she is pregnant or not!

Two of them ganged up on me and started talking to eachother about me and how I must have ishoos! Mumsnet is axweird place sometimes!

Yeah i know, I posted in AIBU once and got some insulting replies - had to count to 10 before I responded, not posted in there again

I didn't post in aibu, I posted in pregnancy, but was told off and told I should have posted in aibu! Seems you can't do wring for doing right sometimes! And my post wasn't particularly aggressive, just a normal and perfectly justified pregnancy whinge!

Neighbour:are you ever dgoing to have thatbaby?

Me: yes. I did. 4 days ago

My pregnancy yoga teacher laughed and pointed at me when I was 38wks. Yes, the woman who saw roomfuls of pregnant women every day of the week.
My dad started a sweepstake on how big my waist was going to get. His guess was 56inches!
I couldn't wear pink. Because it made me look exactly like Mr Greedy.
I was all tits and tummy, and was always being asked about twins.

some of these are making me roar with laughter - so true! incredible how the second you are pregnant, it seems to send a message to many that they can comment as they wish - and as for constantly touching your bump, that is just so rude and I hated it when people did it to me.
:( changer

I think there's no point in leaving any doubt in anyone's head that you may just have been partaking of too many ocado deliveries.

Who needs to be sleek when you're pregnant when you get stuck in kissing-gates because you've lost your sideways ? You can be sleek anytime, you can't be pregnant anytime (ok, that's not strictly true but we're in polite company..)

I feel sorry for all those women (and men!) who never get to appreciate what it's like to feel like a beached whale. Poor things. Embrace your inner whale, I did.

The nicest thing anyone said to me when I was pregnant was my exH. I asked him if I looked repulsive and he said "You look gorgeous - absolutely all woman!" and I thought that was great!

I didn't mind the "ooo you're getting big"

but one particularly smarmy (and over weight himself) git looked me up and down and said "but how much does one little baby ACTUALLY weigh", as in, you're mostly just fat aren't you?

omg monkeymoma!!!

Surely the only possible retort to that is "fuck off you fat twat" ??

With my dc1 (and I wasn't that small, I mean mil was constantly asking if I was expecting twins, which was especially jarring as I indeed had been, but lost 1 twin at 8 weeks, but anyway, beside the point), I was about 6 months pg and was nervous all through pg due to early loss, when an acquaintance asked me if I was still pregnant as I wasn't that big and she wondered if I'd miscarried. Just straight out like that. I was deeply upset. I can't imagine saying anything so thoughtless to a pregnant woman. I was already worried enough.

In that pregnancy I was convinced it would be a girl and almost daily, people, total strangers, the woman in the corner shop etc etc loads of people would say out of the blue they could tell I was having a boy from the shape of my bump. And it was a boy. For the other 3 pregnancies, I hardly got any comment, but for the 1st it was constant. And everyone said boy. T'was weird.

With my first pregnancy I did get a bit stressed and worried by being constantly told how small I was. It wasn't until very late on that someone explained that tall women do tend to have smaller bumps as the baby has room upwards before the stomach needs to push outwards!

This time, more of the same and I just airily explain. But then they say "But... aren't you meant to be bigger second time round?" As though it has to be a big deal in some way, shape or form...