'You're only 20 weeks?! Gosh you're big!'

[8abyDust]

This statement is doing my head in! Is there a certain size I should be at 20 weeks because some women (especially ones of my moms age for some reasons) keep feeling the need to tell me that I'm big for how many weeks I am and is it twins. Its not twins! Just one little boy! I am all bump really and haven't put much weight on anywhere else. I was really proud of my nice bump but now am starting to feel very self conscious of it. I had a pot belly before so some of it is probably that. Rant over.

Anyone else had similar?

Thanks!!!!!

Not really size related but I told a (not very close) friend I was pg over the weekend, by text (bad idea?) and her response was 'OMG is it public knowledge?' to which I replied yes. Then 'can I ask who the father is or is that not public knowledge?'

By this point I was ready to lamp someone. I said 'yes of course, it's my partner [such and such]. Did you think it was [my ex]?'

Hasty backtracking by friend. For some reason it really upset me that she responded as though it was a huge shocking drama when really, I'm having a baby with my DP, and it's none of her business anyway - I only mentioned it in passing.

I would say women are often the worst, but however one of my dad's make friends used to greet me with "hello fatty"! I think he thought it was ok because I was clearly not fat, but just pregnant, but I think people just don't realise that when you are twice the size than you usually are, baby or no baby, you are bound to feel a bit self conscious about your size and really not appreciate people commenting about it.

I had the opposite actually, as I wasn?t huge. However my baby was a normal healthy size (well, very long, though slim). I am tall though so there was perhaps just more room for the baby and my bump didn't look as sticky-out as some. I only got the high sticky out bump that leaves you breathless at around 34 weeks and my baby dropped at 35 weeks so I was really glad as it meant I only had one week of breathlessness!

I had endless "Ohh, you're not eating that are you"! (decent cheese, seafood, etc etc) and also, from the moment I told people at 12 weeks that I was expecting ?Ooh you're not STILL cycling are you"?! I only cycled to 32 weeks, after that, due to position on road bike and position of bump it just wasn?t possible, plus the fatigue got on top of me at that point and the weather was rubbish so I didn't cycle again till 3 weeks after baby arrived, but basically form the moment I told anyone till I stopped completely, I had that reaction, which was really, really irritating, as I was fully aware of the importance of maintaining my health and fitness for as long as possible into pregnancy, and also that cycling is a particularly useful way to get around when you cant actually walk due to the pain from PGP and twisted sacrum from which I was suffering. It didn't hurt at all when I was on the bike (except mounting/dismounting) so getting around by bike was pretty much pain free.

I did also get a few vauge but leery ?jokes? suggestive of the fact that I must have had sex ? to which I felt like saying ?Yes, well I have had sex a few times before getting pregnant you know - many people do!? You are so right, some people, often people you don't even know, feel the need to comment - and they really, really shouldn't!

I had a nurse asking "was it planned then?" whilst i was in having a miscarriage.

I have always been of the opinion that making personal comments, other than the most general such as 'Gosh you look well' after a holiday, about someone's appearance is vulgar and a sign of being badly bred / brought up (Ahem... Karl Lagerfeld re Adele). I'm 12 weeks and have decided to act extremely surprised if people comment on my bump in future... raised eyebrows staring in disbelief / freezing pause / ignore the comment / polite change of subject type thing, just make them feel uncomfortable.

Unless they say I look amazing of course ;-) which I will accept with alacrity graciously.

Its a technique I learnt off the french at my old company and is so effective. I used it at my scan appointment when the scan lady asked in front of the whole room of waiting preganant ladies and other halves, where my partner was. It was funny to make her feel embarrassed for pointing out that I was on my own (DH at Lords watching cricket!!!) rather than taking on the discomfort myself.

If a close friend is feeling abit paranoid about their bump I would aways say something flattering about how neat they look and other than the bump they haven't changed at all. I guess thats what I want people to say to me, if they say anything.

Queen I only wish I could pull that off. I think it will work a dream. I am 16 weeks pregnant and have only had one comment. A colleague looked me up and down and announced I was having a girl because I was getting fat across the hips and thighs. Having been very self-conscious about being chunky thighed, it did not fill me with delight realising that they were even bigger than ever.

I have a very good friend who was constantly on the receiving end of comments on her size when pregnant. We walked into a training session at work and the leaders exclaimed "oh my goodness, shall we get the water and towels out?" She laughed through gritted teeth. To me though, she just looked pregnant as I had no sense of what size you were 'supposed' to be at each stage. I think, actually, that this is what it comes down to in the end. People think they should know.

I can highly recommend the old MN chestnut "Oh my, did you mean to be so rude or did it just come out wrong?" said with my best passive-aggressive smile.

Never failed.
Leaves them scrambling for something to say.

I wasn't well, so put on weight round my face (bloated), and the bump - but even at 8 months people didn't always think I was pregnant, but did think I needed to go to Weightwatchers! How much the bump sticks out depends on how tall you are, and more how long your back is - according to the midwife that explained why I looked more "hefty" lardlump than pregnant!

People just feel the need to comment! And older women seem to be disinhibited in this area!! I'm 23+ weeks.

I work with people and in previous late stages of pregnancy a man might ask, not long to go? Or inquire when I am due to finish work? But I've never had any man make a rude/personal comment about my size. Its always the older women.

Some of them say my bump looks big, some say I'm carrying it on my bum (what??) - one woman asked me to twirl round - essentially so she could look at where my fat was distributed (so rude), some say I look small, some start commenting on what sex it will be and already had a couple stroking my stomach.

I have been assuming this was normal in their generation as they may not have had a scan/ or not much info from scan, so they were left to guess and speculate.

Lol ive had some ppl saying you have got much bigger since last week ? Well yea I only have 5 weeks left it's not going to get smaller ? Then there is the do you always carry this big? Or I carried smaller then you. I've had the your carrying all around to the back , the twins one is it twins? So boring ! No it's not! And what o actually found more embarrassing is even at 35 weeks I've had another 2 ppl this week who haw said they have only just realised I am pregnant ? I thought god they must have thought I have really put on weight! I mean seriously I have put on weight but that is a worry !

I've had the same. It's worse when women (complete strangers) grope your belly without even asking. I mean, you wouldn't do that normally so why it is somehow acceptable behaviour.

Can I use this thread for some intense swearing?

I am absolutely fucking sick of hearing this shit!! And it mostly comes from mean old bitches, who've had children, who like to perpetuate this stance that they suffered through childbirth and now I will too.

"Oh dear, you're never going to get that out - you're going to need CS"
(Whilst patting me on the head) Good luck with getting that out!
(Looking me up and down while practically kissing their teeth) Oh you're only six months?

You can all just fuck the fuck off. Mean, nasty comments designed to do what exactly? Some women are lovely - very supportive and give me "you'll be great, don't worry". Other women - fucking absolute twats - seem to revel in the size of my belly with a gleeful laugh about how it's going to tear me in half

There is no need for it - no need for it at all. I'm generally feeling quite positive about labour, but I think anyone would lying if a person wasn't at least apprehensive?? So why - what is the point of comments like those?

Bitches.

I'm 32 weeks and feel (and prob look) huge today! Might all be different tomorrow tho! All the hugeness is at the front, from behind I look no different; have been careful about what I've eaten and tried to keep moving as best as possible (although been very uncomfortable from 20 weeks or so.

It's my 3rd (AND LAST) pregnancy, my 2 boys were on the large side at birth but I put very little 'proper' weight on.

I just wish people would say how wonderful we look when we're pregnant - it is an amazing thing to do and something many women sadly don't get.

Love the link to the T-shirt from FutureNannyOgg - very apt!!!

Getting so annoyed with this. I am 19 weeks and already people are commenting on my very noticeable bump. We didn't tell anyone until I was 13.5 weeks so I am hoping that it has just snook up on people.

However this will also be my 4th baby in 7 years so of course my stomach muscles are going to be shot to shit! I didn't put much weight on in previous pregnancies but have more so with this one as I could only eat what I wanted (which happened to be bacon butties, crisps and bread) as everything else made me sick.

Anyway to the next person who says "gosh don't you look big already" - F**K OFF

x

When you are 5 ft tall and on your fourth pregnancy, your bump turns up 5 minutes after conception. One male colleague looked me up and down at 15 weeks and said " My we are a little fattie, aren't we?"

Male colleague:morning fatty (every morning since week 14)
Same male colleague in meeting:

Me: When we've got th development side under our belts..."

Him: "you've got more than that under your belt fatty.."

Aunty and Mam every time they see me. "let's see your bump then . Queue an hours discussion over sure, shape, position of baby.."

Mam bumps in to friend of mine in Sansburys cafe (friend called to account hilarious incident..)

Friend: how's Rowanhart?

Mam: Her boobs are ridiculous. I mean huge. She's going to need a double buggy, one for baby one for boobs. I was going to gt her a new bra but seriously don't they get anywhere near her size in here. They are in a different postal district to rest of her. It's ludicrous.."

I'm 20 weeks....

Ohhhhh..Rowan! < considers> can your mum send the boob buggy to me?..and err..perhaps one for my bum?

Haha. I'll ask her Cynner :)