'You're only 20 weeks?! Gosh you're big!'

[8abyDust]

This statement is doing my head in! Is there a certain size I should be at 20 weeks because some women (especially ones of my moms age for some reasons) keep feeling the need to tell me that I'm big for how many weeks I am and is it twins. Its not twins! Just one little boy! I am all bump really and haven't put much weight on anywhere else. I was really proud of my nice bump but now am starting to feel very self conscious of it. I had a pot belly before so some of it is probably that. Rant over.

Anyone else had similar?

Thanks!!!!!

I got this all the time when pregnant with DS. To be fair, he was a big baby. He was born 3 days early and weighed 9 1/2 pounds..........

I wouldn't let it bother you.

Every pregnancy is different, and everyone's build is different, too.
So is everyone's opinion!

I don't tell people my due date, I thought it would be hard, but I have found when I say "late July/early august" they don't press for more detail. It helps that I can never recall how many weeks I am, so I'm just generally vague. (can you tell its not my first)
I also get told he's going to be big, actually the scans say average, they assume as DS is gargantuan (over 99th) this one will be, but at birth DS was bang on average, I don't grow big babies, just supercharged breastmilk!

I am 21+4 and get exactly the same - "Look how big you are! Are you sure there's only one in there??!!!!"

I wish people would think a bit before they speak - I actually fell pregnant with twins but we lost one at 7 weeks, so I really don't appreciate those comments.

I also get nervous I maybe have a 13lb baby in there, but she was 17cm at my 20 week scan which is apparently bang on.

And I have only put on 9lbs which isn't loads for this point from what I understand - I guess maybe all of it has gone to the bump

I had the lady at the Sainsburys petrol station telling me how big I was the other day. I was buying three chocolate bars along with my petrol and she asked me if I was having a craving. No, there were three people in the car . She then asked how far along I was and when I told her 24 weeks, she and a colleague started to exclaim about how huge my bump was, is there just one in there etc.

I HATE the way that pregnant women become public property. Oh and to the couple giving me evils whilst I enjoyed my glass of wine on Saturday night, it was delicious.

If only a had a pound for everytime I was on the receiving end of a comment like that during my last two pregnancies......

People love to comment, often just to make conversation I think, they usually have no idea how they might be making you feel.

I also think that most people have no perspective at all on how big pregnant tummies actually get. You never see pregnant celebrities beyond about 6-7 months.

People have no idea what normal looks like and I bet you look completely normal. I'm 17 weeks with DC3 and obviously showing now, I'm bracing myself for the comments to come!

Miss Polly, I've been giving a later due date too - mine is 27th sept but I have been saying beginning october, just to avoid the 'have you had the baby yet?' texts and emails!

Ah yes, I am 24 weeks and (apparently) look like I am almost ready to drop. I really am big. I can't really imagine how huge I will be by the end. This is DC2, and I was big with DC1, and he was a biggish baby, and I am short with a short torso etc etc.

When people ask me my due date I really want to say 'June' instead of the truth - 'September'. ATM when I say the latter people either squirm uncomfortably, ask me if it's twins, or laugh.

It is incredibly annoying. I am 31 wks and all I seem to do at the moment is liste3n to people go on about how HUGE I am. Honestly, I am not. Like you I have only put on weight on my bump, no where else. From behind you'd not even know I was pregnant, but from the front it is like a huge beachball strapped to my belly.

I am in the states at the moment, and having to deal with stateside medicine - I would LOVE to be able to come home. Am being treated as though I am about to drop dead any moment, as I am 38 and clearly that makes me as fragile as a 90 yr old. So far I have been scanned within an inch of my life as "THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING WRONG" this was from 12 weeks... when they found nothing there, they tried to scare me that my placenta was forming low and I'd need a ceasarian - (not something to worry about until 3rd trimester but they started hassling me about it from 1st) when that went away (placenta migrated - as they do) they tried to scare me baby was big and I must have diabetes. Agreed to test- but when I told them DD was almost 10lbs, and I did not have diabetes then, they told me I must have been misdiagnosed and it was undetected, I told them I had had a test, but they told me British Medecine is 3rd world.... Anyway thier test came back .... completely normal... So now they are worrying that I have a lot of fluid... so I have to be monitored once a week until baby comes. So I'm getting it from all sides... Dr panic grudgingly had to admit there was no good reason for this - he just preferred it...

Sigh...

And still everyone tells me how huge (and cute) I am - it seems anyone who is pregnant here is "cute" (vomit)

misspolly both my sisters live abroad and make me show them my bump over skype! I am getting it from all angles.

DMIL is also a fervent 'you have a big bump' commenter, but she is so sweet that I don't have the heart to get all narky with her.

I do have a suggestion though ladies - how about a 'big bump' swear box? Every time someone makes a stoopid comment, they have to put £1/$1 [insert correct currency] into your post baby wine fund

I was very obviously pg at 13 weeks (both times) - there was no hiding it from anyone

ladygagoo it is also my mother who feels the need to say this - she is cruisin' for a bruisin' ;)

Seriously, I do actually have a blooming massive bump (confirmed by midwife), but then I'm 4 foot 10 and I have a short body even for my height, plus a 6 cm fibroid squashed in there, so it really annoys me when people say 'ooo he's going to be big' when it is clearly the LAST thing I want to hear. They say it with glee in their eyes - like mwa ha ha ha it's going to rip to you to pieces. OK obviously that's not what their thinking but it's what it makes ME feel...

And of course, more than one person has told me I've got a small bump

I've just added a couple of bump pictures to my profile for somebody else to see. I used to love the comments about bump size. Generally people were just trying to friendly and interested I think. I very much enjoyed the fact that my bump was mostly water both times. My waters broke suddenly and copiously with both and I had long labours but went from antenatal checks with comments about being huge to being in hospital and people saying how tiny the bump was. Nowt to do with the baby at all both times.

I loved being pregnant and all the comments. People always trying to chat to you etc.
I love seeing pregnant women, just think its magical & amazing.

Hi, I'm new to MN and 29 weeks pregnant. I was feeling grumpy about this very subject, but your comments have cheered me up. Complete strangers feel they have the right to give their opinion on how big you are, what sex you must want etc and it drives me nuts. There is one Mum at my son's pre-school who says every time she see's me that I am 'massive'. Gee thanks. I wouldn't mind, but I'm all bump and DH says from behind you can't tell I'm pregnant. I need to chill, but my hormones are up and down!

'Are you having twins?' is my personal fave.

Overheard an acquaintance asking a friend when she was due. When told mum to be still had 4 months to go, acquaintance looked at bump incredulously and just said 'GOSH!" and walked off.

Women are by far the worst. Men tend either not to notice or care.

Better than this from random stranger in queue at coffee shop "oh I'm pregnant too, when's your baby due?"
I'm not pregnant. Or fat. 9st 3lb and 5 foot 4.

I was tiny with my second pregnancy - everyone asked if everything was okay and it annoyed me a little. Turned out baby was small at 6 lb 4 oz.

It is true that people can't help commenting - if I notice someone is pregnant I always try and be nice about how they look. Reading this I am now not sure I should say anything.

Everyone feels they can comment on your size. Worse I had was a colleague who said 'I'm surprised your fairly neat as your weight does go up and down' !!!
Was just left open mouthed!!!
Now I'm 12 wks and feel like a look huge but haven't told people yet as still waiting for a scan am convinced everyone can tell though!!

Not pregnant now, but with a 3 wk old - DH told the other day at work he was looking 'really tired'. We are both getting OK-ish amounts of sleep so I was quite offended that someone would think he looked tired!

I hate the fact that everyone comments freely. I've had 'you're really big' and 'you're not so big' comments but the worse ones were 'you've put on so much weight!'
But my no.1 comment that pissed me off was someone who looked me up and down when ds1 was about 8 months and said 'oh, did you not breast feed? you would've lost the weight if you had'. grrr!

Yes! It's driving me crazy. My mother said to me yesterday 'you've grown' ME: 'er, yeah, that's what's supposed to happen', HER: 'no, but I mean you've grown significantly since last time I saw you, how long have you got now?.... (10 wks)..... You're going to be ENORMOUS!' Thanks. In what way is this an at all helpful thing to say?!!

I think to sum it up, you are entitled to pause, look the aforementioned pass remarkable git up and down and then wince, visibly, at their shoes.

Trust me, they won't do it again.

"You've been pregnant for ever". Thanks for that. That's because I had a miscarriage before this pregnancy.

Urgh I'm starting to hate this too, and I've got a long time to go...

I'm 9+1 and in the last couple of days I've had two people point at my (always been there) pot belly and say "oooh you're showing already!!". Er, no actually I've been eating a lot of crap and am naturally sensitive about my pot belly, so thanks for that...

I've also had people comment on what I'm eating, whether I'm getting my vitamins, even one girl (no children yet) commenting when I said I fancied a small glass of wine saying I really shouldn't, and basically guilting me into having a soft drink instead