Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread- Part 2

[cori]

A new thread for us all to share our mutual anxieties, hopes and fears.

Just a quickie - Cori you need Spatone sachets from boots. Very gentle liquid spa water with loads of iron and totally safe in pg. Have been on 2 a day for last 3 weeks and they are great.
Love to everyone else speshly oinker.

! Wrote a massive post to snowboo and slink yesterday and its disappeared . Well I'll start again.

Slink - Honey I understand about wanting a homebirth, really I do. dd1's birth really left me scarred and I was desperate for a homebirth. I investigated it and I think you're entitled to the birth of your choice so if you're set on this then put your foot down and demand it. But as diddle so wonderfully put it honey they may have genuine concerns about you and at the end of the day we all just have to get through the birth to the other side to holding little one in our arms whilst they feed. I don't know about you but I've come across an awful lot of "paper" pushers i.e. people that look at things based on a series of rules written on paper rather than considering the individuals and it really sounds like you're coming across the same sort of people. I got round them by talking to my consultant who gave me masses of help in seeking to have the birth of my wishes. In the end I had a very serious situation and if I hadn't been in hospital whilst dd2 might have survived I wouldn't have. Funnily enough the birth was wonderfully positive despite being dramatic and I put it down to the people that looked after me. That appears to be pot luck round here. I could have anybody from Mrs Ratty to Mrs KindandUnderstanding so yes I'm nervous as well. Fingers crossed that I get another positive one. Really feel for you though.

Snowboo. Your bloody MIL. My FIL spent all of dd1's pregnancy saying that if it was boy it could go back where it came from. I wouldn't let him hold her for a good couple of hours and he ended up cleaning the oven (took him 3 hours as we'd just moved house) to make it up to me.

Well I'm having a bad time through and through. My "d"m is reached new depths. She's been desperately upsetting my dd1. She's a very screwed up lady - v. immature. She HAS to be center of attention. So despite me being 8 months pregnant, moving house, and coping with a husband who has cancer she's still have a paddy because I'm not giving her enough attention. She's writing letters (daily) to my dd1 (who is only 6) telling her how ill she is, how she is the only one to love her (dd1 that is). She was phoning yesterday all afternoon and leaving messages on the answera phone telling dd1 to pick it up etc. Am at the point of seriously considering have her number blocked FFS. Meanwhile have backache and stomach ache! Still its gonna be sunny! Little one is kicking and I AM going to be in a good mood by this evening - I am I am I am.

Much love to all

Cori - sorry meant to say. Iron tablets made me sick for about 2 days and then everything settled (don't think I could have coped with them for anything longer). Also wanted to say... Degree of engagement is not a sign. Little one was 2/3s engaged on Monday and was not even in the brim yesterday. I'm 35 + 5 i.e. only 4 + 2 to go but I'm trying to think of it as 6 + 2 to go . But I do know how you feel. I've never had a c/s but have always been close i.e. got a drip in etc ready to go. Until last year I was with a private medical insurance that would pay for c/s and after care. They've now changed their policy so that its no longer paid for. Pretty much guarantees that I'm gonna have one then! Or am I being too pessimissitic. . I have a friend who's had two c/s's she states that the upside of a c/s is an intact pelvic floor! .

Morning all.
Wills- Grrrr at you mum. I would seriously consider getting her number blocked tbh. She should'nt be saying that kind of stuff to a 6 yr old. Poor you!

Hope everyone's having a better day today (even though the weather's still pants).
Found out something shocking yesterday. Mw's have been told to follow new guidelines (N.I.C.E one's) and been told to cut the number of visits, stop palpating the uterus and using dopplars so much. In the end they'll technically be just doing bp and urine specimens. Disgusting or what! Luckily, our mw's have said a big no way jose to this. They've agreed to cut visits down from every
four weeks to every five (until last few weeks) but refust to compremise on anything else, thank god. Grrrrrrrrrrrr bloody government.
Explains why so many first timers are hardly getting seen now.

Choc is definitely the cure for everything!!!! Every day I've had some and vowed no more but woke today with a sore throat so ho hum only cure for that

Morning HK. For some strange reason I'm still after strong tastes. Second day of dairylea + mustard on toast.

Morning all.

Bloody d/c started again last night. It's still dark brown/black. Oh well......... I have a funny feeling it will all be over by Monday. I always seem to m/c when the SKIDS are round. Neither have reached puberty yet and I am sure that they think that's what periods are like. DH told them last time I suffer badly with them like their mum. They must be dreading the day it happens to them. They have strict oreders not to bother me and not to use upstairs loo.

Wills.....

WEIRDO

Mind you, I suppose it's normal in your condition.

Anyone else with weird cravings???

wills - your mom sounds like a nightmare! and your poor daughter doesn't need to be hassled with her problems either, i'd have serious words with her if i were you.

is Floradix for iron deficiency? never tried it but they do a liquid form. not sure if you can take it during pregnancy though.

Oh oinker, hope you're resting up, you're not working are you? Are you getting any pains? I'm not convinced you're miscarrying at all, i wasn't with hellkat either and now look at her, she's flying through the weeks.

No weird cravings here, well not yet anyway.

oinker i'm sorry that things are still worrying for you. Hope you can take your mind off it just a little bit this weekend...can you watch some really engrossing dvds or anything?? Keifer Sutherland in 24 got me through my worst times! I was so gripped that I simply 'forgot' for a while about everything....lifesaver.

Do take it easy as every one says though - feet up and get people running around for you!

Oinker- With the missed mc I had no pain just a little cramping and that horrid browny stuff (looked like it had threads in it). This time I was so convinced i'd mc. Started off like that then I got strong contractions (nearly brought me to tears), stood up, flooded and lost stacks of bright red blood (with massive clots) and this carried on between the two types for weeks. All my pg symptoms went to. I was 110% convinced of dates and they put me back nearly 2weeks (which I knew was'nt right) and waited for the inevitable. Every night I prayed for a quick mc and not that prolonged nightmare. Here I am 19+1, big as a house, big for dates and with an active, wriggler inside of me. Please keep an open mind hunny. it may well be a mc but then again it may be ok. I'll be here Tuesday morning waiting with baited breath for your scan results. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Diddle was 110% accurate with her prediction for me so she may well be for you aswell .

Cravings: Hmmmmmmmm. Bearing in mind I eat weird food normally, this time around it's been fruit, tropical fruit juice and that's about it. Oh yeah and vegemite on toast . Nothing odd really.

Morning (just!)
Cori I have heard people talking on my Due in Nov thread about a soluble iron solution that's great to take when pg.
Wills your mums behaviour is not on. You have enough on your plate without her senselessly adding to it. Hope you did have a positive afternoon after all.
PIL took all 3 kids out so I can have some time to myself. Bless. So been scoffing on grapes nad quavers!
Oinker - thinking of you (((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Thanks for all your advice. I have just taken my second tab. Have a bit of a stomach ache now. I will try that soluble irons solution if it gets worse.
Wills, good to know that lack of engagement is not such a bad sign.

Slink, I think will be more closely monitored this time. Apart from everything else you have had a cesarean in the past so you and the baby need to be monitored.
I think if you REALLY wanted a homebirth and were militant about it they would have to provide you with a midwife. I know you are nervous about the birth as I am. It seems we have gotten to a stage of our pregnancies where we are not so worried about miscarriage/stillbirth so anxieties are transferred to the actual birth event.
I would dearly love a completely natural intervention free home-birth as well, but I know it is just not possible. The most important thing is a healthy happy baby and mum.

Am feeling a bit happier today because have got almost everything in place now. Cotton nappies have arrived( they are sooo cute) Nursing chair came today as well. SO many packages, feels like Christmas.

cori - aren't those cotton nappies so cute, they make baby's bum look so huge tho, bless em! We have loadsa funky ones for DD3.

i got back from antenatal and it was well interesting!
i saw the lovely man consultant.
i have a date for the removal of my stitch i will be 36+6. i will need a spinal for removal because of the type of stitch they did- bummer! never mind i have time to get used to the idea.
the chances of me going into labour straight away are very slim because the scar tissue around the cervix takes a while to dialate.
baby is breech! he blumin turned yesterday at yoga i knew things felt different. the consultant was not worryed. when are they suppose to be head down from anyway?
consultant said that i can see the bereavement councillor and to ask the midwife to make an appointment for me.
when asking the midwife she was abrupt and asked why? because that is for people who have bad outcomes! i told her that that is what happened last time and she said yeah i know and then looked as if she still required more of an explaination. i told the the consultant says its ok. she got a bit arsy! anyway she agreed to ring this berevement woman and left a message on her answer machine.
Then... the same midwife started going on about me having my anti-d because i resus negative (its offered during pg for resus neg mums as there is a titchy risk that if the baby is resus positive and babys and mums blood mixes, antebodies will be made against the next baby)
anyway i told her i decided to not have it done (i have told 2 consultants and the blood midwife and they have been ok with my decision once i told them i knew the facts etc) this midwife told me that my next baby will DIE if i don't have the anti-d! what a F**ing BITCH and what a load of complete crap too!
wish i had more confidence to say something at the time to her but was a complete whimp and just went righto ok whatever!

and.. last thing, the community midwifes have agreed to transfer my care to them but not for homebirth. last time they said oposite so i will await their phone call next week and see what they say- no point in transfering unless they agree to a homebirth but i feel i am one step closer.

right sorry for the long post but needed to update you all on the saga:)
i will now catch up on the days happenings and reply with hopefully wise words for all:)

reasons for a homebirth- ready for action for when the community midwife ring and i have to persuade them
the only risk of homebirth is uterine rupture due to previous c/s 9 years ago and 2 vaginal deliverys previous.
i think i would feel safer having a homebirth because i would have a midwife there all the time looking after just me, compared with hospital where a midiwife would look after many women. babys heartbeat would be monitored every 10/15 minutes for signs of fluctuation indicating a uterine rupture in hospital they will stick me on the monitor machine and then see me once an hour if i am lucky, a monitor is only good if you have people looking at it.
if a uterine rupture does happen (statistically its about 0.18% less because of previous vaginal births) i will be at hospital within 10 minutes as live less than 1 mile away, it would take the hospital up to 30 minutes to get an emergency c/s slot anyway.

wills your mum sounds a nightmare, she should be helping you out at this difficult time.

hellkat- the goverment are ridiculous cutting the care of people! last pregnancy i had 2 appointments in the 23 weeks i was pregnant both times i was in and out and the last time they missed the fact that i was in labour!

oinker- i agree with diddle hun, rest up please and i pray that the weekend goes fast and uneventful- are your boobs still hurting?

cori how are you feeling today and aww cotton nappies, i wanted to use some but don't know what type to get. do you know any websites with simple advice on it. i don't have a drying or a line ya see.

ooopsy another friday afternoon long post

Slink- aaaaaaaaah a spinal - I don't envy you! At least as you say you have time to prepare for it. That midwife was a b!tch, although I would have the anti-d if I was Rh-. Write a letter of complaint even if you don't send it! I will send you an email with re cloth nappies.

Slink,

Are you getting all the greif from St Marys?
Are you actually under the recurrent m/c clinic there? [worried emoticon!]
I was just reading the booklet they send out telling you absolutely everthing about the tests they are going to do.

I was shocked when i got to the last page which indicates names of Docs and consultants....
That BAFOON of a consultant Prof Brosnens is part of Lesleys team. He was the one who put me on the progesterone mid cycle test which was the test which Lesley said was worthless.
I can't beleive he works with her!!!!! They all seem to work together. You did say that my Prof, Phil Bennett had done your first stitch!!!

OMG.... Watch this space!!!!!

Oh, with regards to my boobs, YEP they still ache.

BUT, my discharge is like what HK had.... Brown and stringy .............
No more since last night???????

Just thought I would remind the A40 Groupies... Put TV's up loud as Friday night traffic is about to start.

Also I would give those reasons that you just said for a homebirth and get the bereavement woman's support. I wish you the best of luck with this.

I promise I will rest up this weekend.

Thanks for all your advice and reasurring messages.

I went to see my GP today who has signed me off until 3rd May... He said I should've gone sooner as he would have certificated me as a threatened m/c cos of my history.
Basically, should I fall pg again he will sign me off from day 28 to give myself the best possible chance in getting thru 12weeks....
I was a bit shocked.... Not sure if I agree..It's not like I do anything strenuos. When p/g I sit at a desk, view CCTV and write statements. The hardest thing I do is travel an hour thru central London to work.
At least the offer is there...

oinker- im glad your signed off for a while.
yes all this grief is from st marys, although on the whole its been nice, the midwife today did not mean to be mean she just tried a ridiculous scare tactic on me, a bit tactless considering we have just discussed my history!
i dis see a nice consultant today and most of the time have no prob other than the previous c/s and homebirth issue, oh and the snot blob etc but that was on labour ward not antenatal.
im not at the m/c clinic there, i havent heard of prof brosnen. it does seem that all the profs in london do work together in some way or another. i was at queen charlottes when prof bennet did my last stitch.
good news that your boobs hurt still and glad your taking it easy.

mygirl- i will have anti-d after the birth when its neccessary but think having it routinely is not needed- didn't have it routinely with ds and dd only had it after the birth or for a bleed in pg.
yes wonderful send me and email about nappies, have you got my email?

have a great weekend everyone xxxxx

Oinker, one of my GPs signed me off for a couple months when I was pregnant with DS, as I had a previous miscarriage. I don't think it makes any difference either but some GPs still have old fashioned views about rest.

I am feeling better today. Took the iron, had a bit of a stomach ache, diarrhea but am OK now.

I suppose they give anti D routinely in case of any unexplained bleeding. I had an extra shot of it when I had a little bit of spotting.

I also once met somebody who had rhesus disease as a result of blood cross over, she had a learning disability and autistic tendencies.

Cotton nappies are quite difficult to choose. In the end i choose Tot bots because they seem to be recommended by a lot of people on here and I was able to buy some second hand from the nappy lady website. (very clean and in good condition). I got 10 nappies, 5 wraps, some liners and nappy bin for £65.00.

ANy londoners interested in a meetup this Monday or Tuesday. Will probably be the last date I can do before the B DAY.
Arabica has said she can do any day.
Slink?
Wills?
Snowboo?