Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread- Part 2

[cori]

A new thread for us all to share our mutual anxieties, hopes and fears.

DHW - I'm relived that booking in was positive. I had my first m/c in same room as dd2 was scanned and was adament it was all going to go wrong simply because being in the same room would be a bad omen.

Oinker. I'm glad it helped. It took a while for her and I know she went to hell and back but she did get there and I do think that's what you should focus on.

Morning all.
Dhw- Glad your scan went well.
Hope everyone's well this miserable morning.
Got the mw this avo and hopefully find out those blood results. Really hoping my blood pressure's come down too as it's always very low (high for me is 110/80) and the last one was 135/85 Never had this before.
Dreading the next scan because it'll be in the same dept as before (with the bad news) and praying that's it not the same sonographer. I've been lucky up until now, they've been down in the epu part.
Have a great day all, love & hugs to all. xxxxxxxxx

oinker - feel positive vibes coming from you today mate, hope thats a good sign and your little bean is clinging on and staying strong, don't give up hope.

Wills - your story had me filling up too.

Life is so bloody unfair, none of us should have gone through this, i can't imagine how you must feel oinker after so many losses. I bet there are loads of women out there in the same position as you, you see them in the paper and magazines all the time. Your time will come, you're such a friendly, caring, confident, funny person and one day you will be blessed with a family, i'm sure of it.

DHW - so pleased and relieved that your appointment went well and you had the support you need from them, you're very lucky, my midwife hardly recognised my miscarriages and wanted to know nothing about them at all.

Morning to everyone else. its a miserable dreary day here in the w.mids. where has the sun gone?

You are all so kind.

I have no idea how I would have got thru everything now and in the past without all your support.

Thanks.x

hiya everyone, ive been to yoga followed by antenatal class which was good. the yoga teacher asked me what number baby this was, i fumbled and hestitated and then said 3:( i felt sick when i said it but i desperatly did not want to explain.
i also had 2 friends at different times today refer to this baby as my dp's first, so he must be excited etc. i did not correct them or say anything:( i feel guilty that on 3 occasions today i did not acknowledge my baby as a real baby just to avoid embarressment and awkwardness.
it feels very weird how people see a loss, like it never happened, like my dd2 wasn't a real baby, maybe because she didn't breath or because she was only alive for a minute it doesn't count as a baby.

anyway have made a decision after talking to the antenatal class teacher today about the fact that when in hospital in labour 1 midwife can be allocated up to 3 women!! no wonder i basically gave birth on my own last time. what is the point in going to hospital if there is a big chance that you might not get a midwife there for you when you need one. therefore i have decided unless baby is born before 37 weeks and if i go into labour immediately after stitch is taken out; i am going to have a homebirth, unassisted homebirth i expect! (the community midwifes will not put me on their books) i will just call an ambulance for gas n air when i need it.
sounds mad i know but i really think it will be better and safer this way

ok will stop jibbering on sorry about the long post am feeling low as you can probably tell.

oh slink - i'm sorry you're feeling low . I know exactly what you mean - I just don't know what to say when people ask what number baby this is etc. You just don't want to have to explain yourself do you?

I considered the private midwife option....they are big on home births....??

I've decided to tell ppl its baby number three and explain. Otherwise i spend the rest of the day feeling really guilty. What did annoy me was MIL was talking to one of her friends about the members of her family that are buried in the local cemetry. Was really upset that she forgot ds2. Well, i say 'forgot' but when she found out he was a boy she had no interest. Bit like this one come to think of it....Broke my heart. My dad tells everyone he has three dgs and one on the way and a dgd. He has said he doesn't give a toss what i produce as long as they are healthy. MIL seems to forget that part....

Rant rant rant.

Anyone else in agony today? No sleep, headache (from A40 traffice 10mins journey turning into 1 1/2 HOUR journey grrrr) backache and finger ache.
Feel like shite.

dhw- have looked into private midwife but far too expensive i think, i will talk to my consultant tommorrow anyway about it all.
its difficult because i dont want to explain but also do not want people to dismiss my dd2 either. my dad constantly talks about stillborn dd2 as "an incident" i remember his surprised tone when he found out there was a funeral! anyway he has barely rang me this pregnancy and as far as i know that whole side of the family do not even know i am pg. i do not care anyway.
i think i will do what you do snowboo and just tell people this is baby number 4 and then explain, i just need more confidence talking about it all.

anyway- snowboo do you have sharp pains in your cervix ever? i have been getting a few the last few weeks and quite alot the last few days.
i can hear the A40 from my house, i can join you on the back ache but i am confused about finger ache how can you possible have finger ache, unless you have been typing for ages and ages.

Hi well I'm feeling a little down. Little one is now out - so from 2/3s engaged he's out and not even brimming. This is familiar but you can't help but hope that it means I wont go late but I suspect strongly that I will be so that's that. They have agreed that the back ache needs sorting and will write a prescription for codine but have to go back and get it! All this running around. On top of which am having a serious queasy spell just as I need to get dinner together for the girls.

Hi, I also need to rant. We are without a bathroom or a kitchen due to building work and our downstairs neighbours are being incredibly unhelpful, rude and mean-spirited about every tiny speck of dust, item of rubbish, or possible perceived inconvenience. These are the neighbours who were given the keys and told to help themselves to our bathroom, when they were without a bathroom earlier this year--and not once did we even dream of complaining about all the noise their builders made!

Sorry Wills, I completely ignored you. Hope the queasiness, backache and everything else, goes away soon.

No worries Arabica. Its blooming frustrating when people do that. Leaves you feeling very mean spirited!

OMG you guys are having really shitty days.

I can hear the A40 too. I am about 300m away from it. How cool is that all 3 of us A40 groupies. Mind you the A40 isn't annoying me.

It is so bloody hard when people are so insensitive. Freinds find it hard to find the right things to say. Sometimes it really doesn't matter what is said. In our minds we sometimes interpret things with a negative meaning even if what is said wasn't meant to hurt or upset us. We are all very fragile, especially now.
the most important thing is that we talk about it like we do here on mn, cos then we can try and make some sense of it all.

I really hope I have not rambled on too much and don't want to seem to be lecturing anyone.
It must be so very hard for you.

x

oinker- i am 300m away from that blumin road too! i can't see it though as its behind a block of flats at the end of my street.

oh my goodness, you all sounds so sad and low, think you need cheering up!!!

Slink - don't feel bad for not outwardly acknowledging your baby, its not as if you forgot about dd2 completely, she was in your mind and heart at that moment. I don't blame you for not wanting to go into details etc with other people, especially as you're hormonal and emotional now with this pregnancy. Don't be so hard on yourself. hope you're grinning back at my grins!!!!!
Now about the homebirth, i know your midwives have been very naff in the past, and i totally understand your reasons for going it alone, but i woudl tell them what you're doing as they may change their mind and at least come if you needed them. This is such an important time and if ever your baby needed more attention than you or DP could give him on arrival, you'll never forgive yourself for not being more prepared.
One of my big fears is that the hospital will do/ or not do something that they should have, in other words be incompetent or too busy and my baby not survive, but i would much rather i had them there than tried on my own and regretted it for the rest of my life. Saying all that I am a first time mom and you're an old hand at all this, i hope you don't mind me sharing my opinion

Right who's next!

Snowboo - i cannot believe your MIL has reacted like that, it must have been so hard not to say something, or did you? She sounds like a very odd person, but like they say, you can't choose your family. She sounds very heartless.
I do have lots of aches and pains, back, front, middle. could definitly fall asleep at any minute.

slink - i have sharp pains, had one today and also had one phantom painful contraction that had me giggling so much with excitement that it might be baby making an appearance.

oinker - here here you are totally right.
hope you're doing ok mate.
can;t hear the A40 from here, can hear lots of rain though on my conservatory roof.

Diddle- you have such nice words for oinker and slink.
Sorry everyone's had a crappy day. We've got newc computer delivered today so FIL been setting that up. Sorry for not being on til now.
Hope everyone feels cheered up.

Everyone really is having one of those days, aren't they - must be something about the weather. Or possibly the A40.

I can't better Diddle's list of individual words of wisdom, just hope that it's starting to get better and the aches and pains are easing up too. Arabica - that's so thoughtless as to be incredible. I'd be tempted to barricade them in with bags of rubble, but that probably wouldn't improve relations!

I'm so sorry about crappy day everyone. Some days are just like that aren't they?

I have had a cold for 7 weeks (diff colds i think) and now have a really attractive cold sore up my nose ! Lovely little cluster of raised, swollen red and white spotty things that make me look like a glue sniffer. Really not my most attractive!

Also bizarre thing, however much make up i slap on at the moment I still look shite and look like I've just woken up and have none on...what's that all about?!

Take care everyone, tomorrow's another day - hopefully a much better one
xxx

Hiya all.
((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) to all!!! My poor lovelies!!
Dhw- Pmsl @ glue sniffer comment!!!!!!!!!
Slink- Go with what feels right (and safe for hun)
Oinker- We're all here for eachother, and if we can't let off steam, emotions etc here, then where can we.
Sorry if it's short and if I've missed anyone.
Mw was great. Bp down etc. And backache eased enough today to let me clean, clean clean lol!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My turn to have whinge now.
Doctor put me on iron tablets because am a bit anaemic. ( explains why I have been so tired past couple of days) took first tablet last night at 10.00 pm, was sick and vomitting by 2.00 am. Felt nausea all morning as well. So what do I do? stay with feeling exhausted, or risk being sick everyday?

Evening all,
Sorry you all seem to have had a bad day. You all need chocolate! I'm tucking in to a Toblerone at the moment (Easter pressie from Mum and Dad).
Cori- can you be prescribed something a bit gentler. When I told my midwife that I stopped taking iron tablets after a week because they upset my stomach, she suggested something (but I can't remember what it was called now), think it was in a liquid form.
I seem to have had an OK day. My eyes aren't so sore and don't think I'm going down with a heavy cold, just sniffles.
And I'm 39wks tomorrow!

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

Yep that's what I am gonna do.

CHOCOLATE

Yes! That's the stuff!

diddle- mwah:)
arabica i agree with twocats baracade them in! also agree that we should all blame the A40!
cori take the iron on a full stomach, if you still feel sick from it after that try another type of iron.
kisses for the rest of ya to cheer you up after all t'was me that bought you all down today