Due in Oct 2012 - part 4!

[Angelico]

Back for more...!

LisbethsOpposite, we are birthday buddies! 3 days to go!

squid, glad the first of the 20-week scans was good news - the placenta will sort itself out I'm sure, I have read that it is very common and in the majority of cases, it shifts when you need it to.

Mickey, sorry to hear about shit week. At least it's over, and good riddance by the sound of it.

We were meant to meet a prospective doula last night - she didn't turn up. No communication, no sign, nothing. Does not bode well for the birth, if we hired her! Am hoping she got called to a labour at the last minute - a forgetful doula is not a useful thing. I'm wavering on my determination to have a homebirth too. Starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by everything I don't know, and thinking that a birthing centre might be a better option because at least I'll have a couple of days there where there are people who do have a clue what they are doing, unlike me and DH . Although, would I be there for a couple of days, or would they send me home as soon as possible?

9 days to my scan. 4 more reports to write then I'm done. 3 more weeks till half term. Life's all about countdowns at the moment!

Feeling a huge urge to go and rock out - the clubbing variety not the climbing variety, although that too. Want desperately to put on rock gear and clumpy boots and lots of makeup and go and dance and swing my hair about to some heavy tunes. This might have to be done next weekend, if I can stay awake past 10pm .

I have not yet attempted to wrestle with The Top again - will keep you posted, think I might be able to summon up the energy once reports are all done!

and to everyone, and a high five to us all for getting almost to the halfway point and still being relatively sane and active!

Yomping, 36, DC1, 19+1

Yomping - £10 for a brolly? Cheap? I'd call £1-£5 cheap!! . I'd take it back at that price! I hear you on the wrap dress thing; I've walked away embarrassed from many a changing room after not being able to 'work out' a dress and getting in such a knot with it I almost couldn't get it off again ! Kudos for your persistence! :) I feel the same way about baby slings - can't work out how you'd tie them and am quite sure I'd do it wrong and baby would fall out.

bella2012 - thanks for the (very sensible :)) advice :). I will try to wait and see.

Beccus - brilliant idea about delegating to a subject each! There's sooo much to think about for us first timers!

Katla - that's a really good idea about trying out prams etc. However, don't dismiss those over your 'new' budget as it's possible to get 'lightly used' ones seccondhand as good as new if you like a more expensive model (as I ahem did with my Stokke - was still v pricey secondhand - but it was Mum's gift to us for the baby).

October - sorry to hear about the work shit. Agree with Squid though - sounds borderline illegal. Keep an eye on your rights!

Talking of squid, congrats on a great scan with a healthy little squid! :) You're not being selfish. I think being upset after scans, even irrationally, is a pretty normal thing. It's a very emotional experience and we wait a long period for 'news' knowing nothing about what's going on in there so there's always an element of 'shock' as well if all isn't 100% a-ok. We all worry about all sorts of stuff and most of us wouldn't choose an op over a natural birth. Keep thinking positive - like you said yourself - 1 in 4 have it at 20 weeks, that's pretty common and it's almost in the 'rare' league at birth. And 1 in 4 means statistically a few more of us on here will be in the same position! :)

Sorry things are rubbish Mickeytheshortone - hope you have a much better week next week x

milk - have a feeling you're next on the scan list, closely followed by lisbethopposite.

Hi all,

I woke at 6.30AM this morning after a horrible dream. Dreamt I got cancer while pregnant. 'Woops' said the medical staff at every appointment, it had spread but there was no treatment. After baby was born, a tiny little girl, my family only wanted to visit when I was actually dying, so I was so angry with them and sad for my babies to lose their mammy. I was waiting for DS to wake at 7. It took me a few hours to calm down.

Squidkid congratulations!!!
Don't feel guilty about not feeling up ALL the time. As a physio I have also trained in acupuncture, which is part of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). The theory is that your energy has to flow around your body in balance. Each of your energy meridiens corresponds to an emotion. There are no bad emotions, like light and dark they are meant to flow into each other.
After an Irish Catholic rearing, anger was bad, as was jealousy, as was sadness. In TCM, these are not bad. To dwell in 1 too long is bad, even joy. How can you have an excess of joy? - well when it is not tempered with caution excess joy can make you make faulty life decisions.
It is healthy to be sad / disappointed / angry when your expectations may be thwarted.
I had a V delivery with DS and it was wonderful. I hope to have a similar experience with the bean, and my placenta had better behave. I hope you become one of the 599 over the next few weeks.
Do you know what though, if you are the 1 in 600, isn't modern medicine great that you and squidkid will go home healthy.
I have lots of friends that have had c-sections, and their tummies were flatter than mine.

mikey is it work or family that is cracking you up? We are all thinking of you.

Scan for me on Friday - I will be exactly 20 weeks

Hello bean ovens

Am having a GLORIOUSLY lazy day after two busy weeks at work. I am still in bed, having had tea and toast all morning and then a cheese sandwich. On the laptop online shopping for niggly maternity things like a couple more bras (is it possible to buy good maternity bras online?? Help! I now have 38FF bazookas!) and sheer maternity tights. The latter are needed so I can try and believe I look like some kind of short blonde fat maternity version of Kate Middleton in dresses.

Out of the maternity stuff that has turned up so far, the Seraphine stuff is LOVELY. Defo recommend it.

squidkid you are not selfish with your fears at all. I do not want a c-section because it means I wouldn't be able to go on my lovely holiday to NZ!!

SUPPOSE I should do all those things like change the sheets, do a few loads of laundry, shower, vaccum, mop before DH gets home from the States (he's been there for work this week) tonight. I think my sex drive is coming back so I shall even attempt to sexify my bumpalicious self (it's a bump now, not just bloat) and be the perfect wifey.

Or I might stay in bed and shop some more.

Hellooooooo!!!

Hope you're all having a lovely Saturday :) it's lovely & sunny here my morning started with some productivity I have 2 loads of washing on the line & washed the disgustingly muddy trainers that belong to DP from last weekend stag do,had to clean machine after as it was choked with mud & bloody stones & have made a chilli for tonights 'taco night' tea.However,once the F1 qualifying started it all seems to have stopped! Woopsie!!!!

I dont think you're being selfish at all Squid I think anyone in your position would feel the same,I've not had any news like that & I dont want a section either,you wouldn't be a normal pregnant woman if you didn't worry :)

October I echo what has already been said,your boss absolutely CANNOT obstruct you from having ANY hospital appointments whether it be for ante natal appointments or anything else it is absolutely illegal & they can't mess with that if they do you could consult citizens advice so you know exactly where you stand legally.

Good morning. I'm still lurking about, but can only post from my phone, which is a bit of a pain sometimes. 17 weeks now. Seems like time is gping by so fast. Bump is definately getting more noticeable, and I.m feeling more comfortable in maternity tops that show it off. So I have been getting lots more.. On I didn't know! Comments and congratulations. Been feeling pretty good, apart from a few aches and pains.. Next scan may 24. Taking my dh and my 90 year old grandma. also have an apt on mon, hoping to hear the heartbeat (keep fearing that I won't and something has happened...bring on the kicks!}

iAi t mj e only one who.s boobs havn't grown? :(

Glad lil squid is doing wel . Just do not start watching section vids. Will only freak u out. What will be wil be.

Yomping, I hear u on wanting to rock out. I nearly bought tickets to a show in a thursday night... But then my brain kickec in telling me i've been in bed by.8 all his week.

Hi everyone, I can't believe I have only just found this place! I'm 25 and due on 23/10 so 16+4 and this is my first pregnancy. I'm a bit of a worrier but am feeling quite reassured that many others have the same fears as me. I'm sure I will be spending a lot of time hanging round here. I'm very jealous of some of you hearing heartbeat, they don't do it a 16 weeks anymore round here so have to wait until 20wk scan, can't wait!

Oh and Beeblebear: my boobs haven't grown either :( still their rather average (on the small side) size. Fingers crossed though.

Hello ladies!

Is anyone else struggling with trying to learn to sleep on their left hand side? I find it hurts my shoulder to put my weight on it. I?ve been trying the compromise of putting a row of pillows behind me so I lie at about 45degrees. Do we think that?ll do the job of taking the pressure off the blood vessels?

Squid Glad healthy bean at scan. I do entirely understand you not wanting a c section ? but it sounds like this should probably not be necessary.

Ooh yay re lazy day and yay re having a bump, Zara. I still have a had-a-huge-curry belly. boo.

HiGucci hurrah re great SIL and that?s fantastic to have done all the jobs. I am being, um, lazy.

Beeblebear hope the appointment goes well. And I am totally with you on the early to bed stuff. I am entirely lacking in mojo for partying. Oh and I wouldn?t be jealous of boob growth ? honestly I have enormous boobs that are not only inconvenient (ie no clothes fit) but also uncomfortable.

Hi Willowtree and welcome to the thread. I think we all go through different phases of worrying and then being calm, so we seem to all help each other forwards prett well!

Thanks everyone for the good vibes re mastitis ? it seems to be settling down now. Hope so! Cwest I hope your blood pressure has settled down and you don?t have to take the evil tablets any more.

Yomping I did like the look of those IO tops but wimped out as I?m not a morning person and feared I?d just make a right hash of it when half asleep! They do look awesome when on, though, so hope you?ve got the hang of it. Not at all impressed re that doula ? that sounds beyond rubbish. Not sure if you?re in London but if you are, I know a couple of yoga teachers who are lovely and who are also doulas who may be of interest?

Fjordmor You?re absolutely right re clothes that fit well that aren?t ?maternity? ? so many tunics and empire line stuff. I am trying to resist the temptation to wear just slobby stuff all the time! And know how you feel re slings ? I will have to have a look at a sling event so I can touch and feel. Not sure about just buying one via t?internet.

Mickey here?s hoping you?re recovering from your horrid week.

Liesbeth UGH re horrid dream.

Zara I got some maternity bras on brastop.co.uk at reasonable prices ? I got measured in bravissimo but they didn?t have any in my recommended sizes. I am particularly chuffed with the hotmilk one I bought so might be worth a look.

Drum roll please...

I HAVE FINISHED MY REPORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (OK, maybe just one ).

Oh the relief, I thought I would never get there this year. Only meant to do 3 of the final 5 today but DH has gone out astronomising tonight and I'm so bloody sad and lacking a life that I decided to stay up late and finish the last 2, despite being tired and full of cold (thanks, 2 ill colleagues). And I've done it - despite the draw of Con Air AND Lord of the Rings on telly and Dazed and Confused sitting downstairs from LoveFilm. I am such a swot . And VERY proud of myself. And the absolutely best thing? I don't have to write any next year . AND I had great sexy time with DH this morning . (actually, that is better than finishing reports, but only just!). AND it has finally stopped raining.

So, yeah. What on earth will I do with my time now? (I wondered, for a millisecond. Then I remembered all the millions of things I need to find out about so that I actually have a clue how to feed, clothe and look after a baby .)

Today's other achievement: in a fit of organisation I tried to book a tour of the local birthing centre. Turns out they recommend you only go for a tour when you are 30 weeks or more - since by then you might be high risk and unable to have the baby there so there wouldn't be any point looking around. So I booked a tour for 11 weeks' time. Then the lady on the phone said something very worrying: "if you are low risk and you decide to come to us, all you do is call us when you go into labour". Cue horrified pause from me: "what do you mean, call you when I go into labour? Can't I book my bed in advance?" "Um, no, we have 2 labour rooms and if they are both in use then we can't accommodate you." I'm a control freak teacher, dammit, I'm used to being in charge and having everything organised well in advance - the whole concept of choosing a place to give birth and then not being able to go there because they're full is one I'm finding hard to cope with She said "you might want to let go the reins a bit with your birthing plan". This is like telling me not to pair up my socks, or to unalphabetize the CDs, or to mess the books up in the bookcase so that the ones of the same height are no longer next to each other... ie not something I am capable of This pregnancy business is very challenging!

Goodnight all, sweet dreams and minimal toilet trips!

Yomping congratulations on finishing those pesky reports. Hope you enjoyed the much earned wine. I fancied one last night but saving my credits for when I go to Spain in Tuesday so I can maybe have the odd cheeky Rioja.

I am afraid the birthing centre 'rock up when you are ready thing' is standard. In fact sometimes even labourer wards don't always have space when you show up. Not uncommon to have to wait for someone else to be turfed out. I think the advice about letting go or having it wrestled out of your control as you wildly thrash about is good advice. My plan was a home birth, with whale music I made that bit up whenever nature took its course. My reality was induction at 37 weeks in a labour ward, with a surgical procedure the next day followed by a blood transfusion. If I have a plan this time it will just include what I really don't want, what the HCPs need to do to mitigate that and what I would quite like. Some people get really upset when things don't go to plan. Really all that matters is that it come out safe and sound and that the mother is safe and not traumatised. When I write a plan my good friend with 2 kids pointed at me and laughed! Rudeness. But she was kind of right. I've already been told there is no way I will even be allowed in a birthing centre, let alone home, disappointing but now I need to focus on mitigating the madness and stuff I don't want to happen. Kind if a Plan B, or even a plan c.

All this is difficult to get your head round at first. Chances are your bed will be free and it will all go swimmingly but sometimes plans need onto also have that plan b. enjoy your day of rest Yomping x

I've got agree with Midgetm. When it comes to labour and birth you've just got to go with the flow. I do know how you feel though Yompingjo, I love to be in control, it's the main reason I am choosing a Home Birth, if possible this time. My birth plan will probably be fairly simple, like Midgetm, just include what I really don't want.

Looking back nearly six years, DS's birth experience is just not that important to me anymore. I'm just happy he's here.

DS got to feel the baby move for the first time this morning, he still looks like this >

I am browsing Mothercare.co.uk this morning, aren't blankets expensive?! Also looking at changing bags and torn between getting one of these and just getting a nice backpack. It needs to look ok for DH to be carrying around too.

Yomping are you that bad? You had me laughing.

With DS I asked my ObGyn if I should have a birth plan. The magazines seemed to say I should. Anyway his answer was, if you got on a plane would you have a flight plan. I think we need to be informed of the options and choose our most favoured to least and after that rely on the medical team.
I had been strongly advised by MW friends to ask for an epidural 'the minute I got to the hospital'. During labour I was offered an epidural but knowing I could have it made me think I don't need it just yet. Pethidine was my last choice as this crosses over to the baby. Thankfully it never came to that.
Next day there was another young mum on my ward. She was so pale I asked why - it was a side effect from an epidural. She got no pain relief but days worth of headache instead. I felt I had a lucky escape.

No matter how controlling you are, they have met worse.

squid I had the same thing at 20 weeks and was devastated for the same reasons. I also had this mad idea that I wanted to be responsible for pushing ds into the world the natural way. As orange says though, now he is here, how he got here is irrelevant and knowing so many friends who have had planned cesareans I would actually love one this time! All the waiting and wondering for the labour to start was a nightmare! (yomping I am also a bit of a control freak teacher!) so knowing what day and what time the baby is coming would be great. And having it all over and done with in a really short time, would be great. Maybe I ony know really lucky mums but none of them seemed to find the recovery bit that bad. Anyway, the placenta did move and I was able to have ds naturally and it worked out well because they scanned me every week for the last 5 weeks so I got to see baby loads more often which I loved. hopefully yours will move and you will get the birth you want.

I have just cooked lunch for my family. Poor dh is at work today. My mum just made me lie down and rest while she washed up and ds slept. Wonderful woman!! Resting seems to be impossible this time round, there is always so much to do! Dh wants to go camping this weekend and I really dont want to be a wimp but I do feel all achey and uncomfortable already so i am not sure I am up for it.

yomping I am so jealous of your reports situation. I have soooo many left to do!

Happy sunday everyone x

Hooray for some sun at last! :) I was inspired to review all wardrobe items and pack away what now doesn't fit and see what i needed. Had a lovely time in town - H&M was really good and i got mat. loungewear trousers, mat jeans, mat leggings and a tunic from them. Found a long mat t shirt in new look too and had time to pop to the selfridges food hall for a gelati - i don't know about anyone else, but i am craving icecream! :)
I have 3 friends who had c-sections - 1 planned and 2 emergency - they said the recovery wasn't that bad and would definitely chose to have them again....there is definetly something appealing about knowing the date baby will come and what will happen, as opposed to all the uncertainties of natural labour. I agree with all those making the point that it doesnt really matter how baby comes out, as long as baby and mum are healthy and ok at the end of it all.

Very well done Yomping on finishing all your reports :) You must feel like a weight has been lifted knowing you're done & dusted with them!!

Been having quite alot of movement,especially yesterday seemed to be on the go most of the afternoon & seems to be quite keen on Desperate Housewives lol I think tiddler has worn itself out as it's been quite a bit quieter today,it's a very odd sensation to get used to though I'm sure when we're all bigger & being booted violently we'd be grateful for it to just be odd!!!

Finally booked a holiday today (yay!!!) so we're off for what will be our last stress free (!) holiday of our lives or at least 20 yrs lol so we're off on the 7th july & I cannot wait!!! :):):)

Anyone heard how CWest is doing??

Hope you're all enjoying a lovely relaxing Sunday evening xx

Well, that will teach me to be smug... after 6 weeks of report writing, I have my first day off and come down with a stinking cold. Think I rather over-worked myself. Didn't get a wink of sleep on Saturday night and was teary and crap all of yesterday. felt Turns out the combination of asthma, pregnancy and a cold is not fun! Slept badly, plastered in Vicks and found some cough medicine that has pregancy-friendly ingredients (after being told by chemist in Sainsburys that honey is not advised in pregnancy - was a surprise to me - came home and googled it and turns out she was talking bollocks, have a good mind to go back and complain about misinformation) but still feel totally crap and unable to breathe properly.

So I've called in sick and I'm staying at home today, but I feel bad because I usually work so hard and only call in sick if I am falling down. I'm trying to be sensible for the bean's sake but I really feel like I'm skiving . I'm also completely crap, because on my "rest and recovery" day I have already thought "ooh, I could proof read those reports, and mark those times table tests, and mark those reading tests, and... and..." Stop, Yomping, you're ill!

I am actually very much looking forward to stopping work for a year as this job never, ever, lets up. Not that I think looking after a baby will be any less hard, but it will be a different sort of hard and that will be quite a welcome break despite all the difficulties.

Gucci, exciting, where are you off to? We booked a few days in Paris over half term, can't wait!

To everyone who laughed at me, yes, I really am that bad! I tried to let go and put the DVDs in colour order last year but hated it so had to go back to alphabetical. All 500 CDs are alphabeticised - how do you find the one you want to listen to if they're not? I know I'm a bit fucked up odd, but I actually don't understand how anyone could NOT live like that . A sense of order comes so naturally to me, it's not an effort. People are often jealous of my organisational skills, but then I'm often much more jealous of other people's people skills and patience and ability to socialise without needing to run off and hide after 30 minutes - none of which are strong points of mine! Having worked in education for the last 10 years, I suspect that I would have been diagnosed autistic as a child, I have lots of tendencies that put me on the spectrum - mildly, but still there. My dad is a classic case too. So yeah, definitely that bad. And beginning to realise that a "birth plan" is actually a wishlist and not a "this is how it will happen please, baby, midwives and everyone else, OK?" list . Thank you for the wise words about this. I will move on to things I CAN decide, such as type of nappy, sling vs buggy, etc!

And I have been wondering one thing over the last few days: why have we not evolved, over the last however many millions of years, to be have flexible enough bodies that labour does not hurt? (I don't want to scare people and I'm sure it's not that bad, but I hear that it might sting a little bit )

Hehehehe at 'sting a little bit'! Still you will be amazed at how you cope and how quickly you forget.

Morning, ladies...

Good advice in the list today.

One of my girlfriends wrote a birth journal about her experience and what she wished she'd known - I'll ask if I can share it (she's a doctor, too, so lots of medical insights!)

After months of pining for a bump, I'm finally starting to show... and I don't like it. It's weird and lumpy! And kind of lopsided! Apparently, the squidgy dresses to the left ;)

Sure I'll get used to it soon, it's just a bit odd.

Oh yes - Scan on Wednesday!

DH has put it in our shared calendar so I can't forget ;)

1st child, 20+5

Zoeplankton: my bump has a line down the middle (from just above my belly button) so it looks like I have a bum on the front and back now :(

Today is not a good day:

1. It is Monday
2. Uni assignment due Thursday and I still have not finished it and I can't be bothered
3. I will love the baby which ever gender it is, but I really want another boy :(

Aw, milk! :(

(You forgot 'it's raining...')

Incidentally, upcoming-20-week-scan people, have you heard of gender reveal cake parties?

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/28/british-mothers-party-cakes-babys-sex

Yomping, glad you're getting to grips now with the idea of a birthplan being a wishlist! I was also wondering, reading your post, how high your beautifully organised CDs, DVDs and books are? My DS's favourite past-time at the moment is pulling everything off shelves

And as for structuring a day with a baby...he's just woken from him nap a goddamn hour early, which is going to make this afternoon sheer hell, as we have a baby group to go to at 3.30 and he's going to get over-tired and have massive tantrums, making me look like the perfect mother as usual

Sorry not to catch up more but probably should go and get him from his cot!

20 week scan done - pleased to report it went well! :) Muchos relief!

Hi all,

Lovely to hear all the news of the 20 week scans and maternity wear buying. Think I might have to attempt some v soon as bump seems to have appeared.

Can I ask a question about baby movement? I think I might be getting some, bit like bubbles, quite close to the surface, regular ish and in the slightly different areas each time but then I'm wondering if it's just muscle spasms. I'm 17+3, have any other first timers had movement at this stage and, to everyone, what does it feel like???

ShallWeDance I think that's a pretty good description. I felt it with DC1 at around 14 weeks, so 17 isn't unusual. Sounds to me like movements, how exciting

Congrats GingerDoodle, glad all is well!