40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Welcome newbies.

I had got rid of a lot of stuff too, but still have clothes, cot, chair, car seat and bedding. It will be a rare day when baby is not in a gro! They are fab, and make the baby look like a baby for longer. DD2 is only just 2, but this one was still a shock as we had given up hope of more. Nearly 17 weeks now, so time is ticking along.

I am lucky that I have a big enough house and car, and they are mostly paid for. Not sure how I can pay for childcare for this one too. I am seriously thinking of a change of career to something home-based. I kinda do counselling now in my NHS role, but need to get the proper qualifications, and then I would like to set up privately. Probably a bit of a pipe dream...

exexe are you deffo getting a section at 38 weeks? I asked the MW what the earliest they do them is, and she said 39 weeks due to new research about asthma. I would love to have it at 38 weeks! Hopefully the Consultant will be more open to discussion.

With regards to bfing, no reason at all why you could not feed exclusively and work it in around the school runs. Initially you will need additional rest due to the section, so just spend your time establishing feeding, cuddles for all, and sleeping - designate all other tasks. If I was ever going anywhere that might result in baba waking up hungry, I would just stuff baby on boobie for 10 minutes beforehand to top her up.

ValiumQueen When I had the 12 week scan, the sonographer gave an edd and I just mentioned that I'd want an elcs so would that be at 39 weeks and she said no 38. I'll be happier at 38 as my friend (same hospital) was told 39 weeks and then went into labour so had to have an emergency one.

When I get to see a midwife, I might find out for definite

Cheers exexe I may start a thread to get a general idea.

VQ BFing until 18 months ! My hat is off again ! And I wish I could find an idea to be able to work from home. Will think about it, now that life has given me the opportunity to do so. I wish I had a choice though instead of having the choice made for me :)

I will certainly finish work on 18 june and baby is due 27 july... Shall i call her Olympia !? The original plan was to take annual leave before birth and then a whole year followed by annual leave accrued during mat leave so in total something roughly around 14 months. As I think it is probably my last baby. So I wanted to make the most of it with her. On the other hand, I really like the nursery my DS1 goes so I will try to get her in part time so that she can be exposed to all that too. Hell, how expensive childcare is in London !

Time to prepare tea before picking up DS1
Xxxx

I am grateful I am not in London anymore for childcare costs only. Still blooming pricy in Central Scotland too.

DH is highly qualified and was doing his PHD but quit 3 mths before the end (arse!). He is doing sessional work with a charity who care for folk with Learning Disabilities and loves it, but no contract, and pay is shite. But at least he is working and earning now, and happy. He tried to do the 'stay at home dad' thing, and it lasted about a week.

I will be keeping DD2 in Nursery part time while I am off so I can sleep have quality time with DC3. I am going to try to negotiate something with them fairly soon. I have been a good customer, and am doing my best to build up their client base .

Oh the breastfeeding issue - I'm not worried about timings or anything but I just need some decent sleep to function. Ds1 was a nightmare. He used to feed every 3 hrs for an hr at a time. Ds2 took about 20mins but was more frequent.
I thought it might be a good idea for dh to do the late night feed while I slept.
I was never any good at expressing either.

Ds2 starts reception in Sept so I'll be home alone with dc3 during the day.

When I told my family about the baby, I jokingly said 'what else am I going to do with myself when ds2 goes to nursery?'.
Sil has taken that seriously and has been going round telling everyone that I must really hate being on my own and not know what to do with myself unlike her who's perfectly happy to be alone during the day while her kids are at school Why are relatives so annoying?

Childcare is really expensive in London! I had both children in nursery for a while and I was just about breaking even. There is no way you can have 3 children in nursery and work (unless you're earning megabucks). When my friend had 2 yr old then had twins, she had to give up work as it was far too expensive.

I'm off to Ikea this eve with a friend (we know how to have a raving night out). I can't wait to check out all the little baby stuff

OMG what an afternoon, mini rant coming ladies. My phone is not working rang o2 and got past from pillar to post, told they would ring back no chance rang back myself 6 hours later and had to tell 4 people the same story about my stupid blackberry, finally someone to help and their system goes down, having to wait till she rings me back. Plus my front tooth which is a bridge has fallen out while talking to them, so all I need is a track suit with some egg or other food product down the front, my missing tooth and pregnant - Hello Jeremy Kyle !!!!
Need a biscuit I think !!!

I'm sending you a packet of Spanish biscuits LRM

I know what you mean about family exexe. My sister is generally lovely but is a born again Christian (complete opposite to me!), and when I told her about this pregnancy and my uncertainty about it, she just said "well don't think that you're in charge...". Yes, that's right, it's the hand of God .
littleredmonkey, sorry you've had a bad afternoon but your post did make me laugh!
Well, the nausea abated enough that I polished off steak pie, mash & veg for tea, but feeling a bit bleurgh again now. May need emergency toast & marmite before bed....

So sorry pixie -wishing you all the luck

congratulations and welcome Gothinrecovery and Knottyhair :)

york67 fab news about the scan - cheeky docs to make you feel bad about bmi

firefliesand hpbp - thanks for all the helpful tips - I'm reading and absorbing, keep them coming! hpbp I love babies in babygros and handknitted cardigans too - nicely old fashioned, like we used to be when we were babies :)

Thanks for all the welcome messages everyone. :)

littleredmonkey - hope you have a better day today (and lots of biscuits!)

Exexe, I am with you for BF at daytime and bottle at night so that I can get some proper sleep. I was thinking of doing that as well. But as things are going, I might have to give the bottle myself as DH will be travelling a lot when LO will be 2 months or so. So i might just as well do exclusive BF if i am up anyway.... :) How soon do you and other mums inthis thread think we can start introducing the bottle without the risk of baby being confused ?

Regarding work issue, I have until Monday to give my definite answer on the compromise agreement. But anyhow I will be a stay at home very soon, 18 June will be my lastday ! Houray !

I have a growthscan tomorrow. Hope baby is fine. She is kicking a lot and my iPad almost fell a second ago as it is resting on my tummy as I write.... Itis the 6th scan for this pg, and a 7th is already scheduled for 13th June...

Good evening everyone

Hpbp Good luck with your scan. She sounds like an active baby! I'm so impatient - I want my pregnancy over with. I'm 17 weeks now but it feels like I have aaaaages left.

LRM Hope you got your tooth sorted out. Poor you feeling like JK fodder

I'm wearing my new Next mat jeans today and I hate them. They keep sliding down below my belly. I spent the whole school run pulling up my jeans. Its so irritating but I think they'll be ok with a long top. I'm just going to log on to Dorothy Perkins and order some stuff.

Be good, Exexe, don't get carried away with online shopping ! :)
I also hated it when my maternity trousers slide down, I can't wait for the weather to be drier and warmer so that I can wear only dresses or skirts...

I have planned to cook this morning so that I can keep my mind busy before going for the scan at 2pm. Risotto and fish pie...

Hope scan goes well hpbp
I need to get shopping now for maternity clothes. Really not looking forward to it.

Hpbp, good luck with the scan today. exexe, I'm not looking forward to having to buy maternity jeans I must admit. It's my birthday on Weds and my friends are clubbing together to get me a gift card for some clothes.

We decided to tell DS yesterday and as expected, he got very upset initially. Now he seems to change between telling me "I don't want the baby" to suggesting names (Buttercup for a girl ) and asking if he can push the buggy. Hopefully he'll get more into the idea as time goes on! Hope everyone is feeling OK. I still feel really nauseous most of the time although not actually sick (the same as with DS) - it's only really helped by eating! Favourites are toast & marmite, pizza with anchovies, orange flavoured chocolate, blackcurrant yoghurt and lemon sherbert sweets!

Online shopping was a failure. I want 28in size 12 over the bump jeans and can't find any :(
York67 mat clothes are rubbish. It was definitely easier with ds1! I used to find stuff in every shop. I've found hardly anything this time. I'm really struggling.

Knotty gift card is a great idea. I guess it was a shock to your ds but he'll be fine once the baby is here.
I was terrible the first few weeks and lived off toast (and put on 10lbs!). Now I just want to drink lots of juice, eat food with brown sauce and vinegar, am craving fizzy drinks but I'm sticking to fizzy water and have gone off meat. I still love toast with tonnes of marmite.

Will go and console myself with some shoe shopping instead on the Clarks site....

If I might, ladies, I would advise to go for ruched tops and trousers or skirts with elastic waist bands that you can adjust depending on the size - growing - of the tummy. Ruched tops are great for that as well, they do last the whole pg and even a bit later. I like good quality cloth that i might pay a bit more but that i can keep for longer, at least i don t need to go shopping too often because of poor quality stuff. I hate cloth shopping, don t have time nor interest....
I tend to shop at Gap, vert baudet or isabela oliver.
Risotto is done, tonight's dinner is ready. Fish pie now for tomorrow.

Can I join? 41 and got BFP for no.5 on Tuesday. Very very early days but excited and worried 2 as I had 2 mc before last child now 15 mths. I'm proud to be my age and pregnant again. It's an honour. Feel more experienced, calm and sensible than in my 20's and look and feel young. As long as a baby has lots of love, it can't go wrong x keep your fingers crossed for me though x Can't wait for the nausea at 6 weeks as its always been a good sign for me :0

Quick question ladies - at what point did you have/ are you having your first appointments?

Got a ton of bumph in the post over the last few days but first appointment with MW is not until 10 weeks, a bit surprised it is so late given my age etc. (Mind you I am on holiday the week before which probably does not help)

welcome littlepinkfizz!

exexe my cravings have been so like yours! I really like vinegar and brown sauce, (brown sauce with smoked cheddar-on-toast...yum...) although my marmite-on-toast phase has now ended, so I can finally get my salt intake down a bit :) I'm still off chocolate mainly, for the first time in 40 years - can't quite believe it. What a good influence this baby is.

Yes, the science of maternity jeans really doesn't stack up, does it? Perhaps that's why dungarees were popular in the 80s - you kind of need something to keep them hauled up! I don't like the feel of constricting clothes at all right now anyway, so jeans are off my list. I'm sticking with H&M maternity leggings (organic cotton, comfy and 7.99) with normal-life stretchy dresses for as long as poss - my bump is looking 5 months-ish already, and there's still a lot of room for more tummy in there. Thanks for the rouched top idea hpbp - I like nice clothes, but don't want to spend loads on stuff I won't wear for long when I should be saving for silly stuff like prams...

gothinrecovery - I didn't get to see my midwife until 12 weeks, as my GP was late in referring me, but in theory I think you are supposed to have 'booking in' appointment between 8 and 10 weeks, so there's time to set up the nuchal test if you want one. It feels like an age to get there, doesn't it?

afm I'm felt beset by worries for the last couple of days - just keep imagining all the things that could go wrong - I need to switch my brain off! I could really do with a glass of wine...

exexe, I'm sure I'll pile on the weight in these first few weeks as well, toast & marmite is a definite staple. I've gone off some meat, roasted some chicken last night but couldn't stomach it when it was ready. Drinking a lot of milk but I try to make it skimmed. Hpbp, I'm with you on the clothes shopping, really don't enjoy it. Hi littlepinkfizz, number 5, wow! Gothinrecovery, I rang the surgery as soon as I got the BFP as I've got an underactive thyroid and had read that it causes problems in pregnancy and they told me the midwife had no free appts until mid-June . However the midwife rang me the next day to say she's set up an extra clinic and my first appt is now 31st May which will be about 10 weeks for me as well. I've got no idea how it all works now, it was 9 years ago that I was pregnant last time but a friend who recently had a baby did say that midwife numbers have decreased and the frequency of appointments etc. is not the same as it used to be.

Sorry, cross-posted bytheseaside! I think I'll be getting some of those leggings! It's horrible isn't when your mind goes into overdrive, with all the what ifs. I'm trying to take my own advice to DP, to take it one day at a time but easier said than done I guess.

Thanks for the welcome ladies! So great to know there are loads of other "older" mums out there! X