Due in October -part 3

[HaggisNeepsTatties]

The third instalment as we're a talkative bunch!

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news 2LM and resip

Sorry I've not been on lately the whole house has been struck down with a rotten d and v bug and for some reason I've had it for 5 days. Can't shift off the sofa and feeling so sorry for myself.

Thinking of you all tho and hope that your all well

I too have changed shape. Hips are fatter and belly is poking out. Midwife says it's coz it's not my first. All hangs out quicker but could be to do with my strange eating habits.

Ds2 told me today that if this baby is a girl he is walking away! where too, I don't know!! Ds1 has been a star. Making breakfast for him and his lil bro in the morning while I acquaint myself with the toilet bowl

Bubblebell at DS2! Making his feelings known...!

wow - what a lot of activity. So here it goes - I am right there with all the ladies having weird dreams (very weird) and then going from cold in the evening to radiator warm at night - which i think is a major contributor to my insomnia.

Is anyone else already looking for a creche? DH and I are in Brussels and the creches are full and we even now have to book places for pre-school (which starts at 2 1/2) - seems crazy to have to start this now before hitting the magic 12 weeks.

Finally - I'm traveling to tropical climes which means that night temperatures in the 30's + heat flushes makes me guess that sleep is going to be an issue. I also have to take Lariam (the malaria prophylaxis that can turn a person psychotic as its the only one I can take while pregnant) + I have to manage my diet to avoid the whole toxi- thing (unavoidable worktrip)

So thats a little update from my side - thanks for listening!!

Velo

39 years, 10 + 5 (ish)

TLM So sorry to hear your news :( big big hugs.

Well ladies I haven't cried today!!! Hooooray!!! I think things got bad yesterday when my ice cream fell off my stick on the floor. Finished me off!!
I have a bump but I'm not sure it's a baby bump... I think I'm just bloated. Anyone else feeling hungry at really stupid times of the day? I'm eating everything in sight. The poor dog doesn't get a look in at meal times anymore.. Thank god I haven't decided I like dog food..

So so sorry tlm and resipsa. Thinking of you both and sending you hugs.
My body hasn't changed at all - except for boobs being slightly bigger and sore! Sat opposite a pg woman on the tube the other morning and got bump envy...
I've finally got my appetite back.... Unfortunately by the time I get home I'm pretty much ready for bed, so I'm eating and falling asleep - doesn't do the nausea much good
I'm also being stupidly picky - really upset my DH tonight as I worked til 7, then when he told me he was cooking Thai curry I said I wouldn't be able to eat it. Feel awful as I usually eat anything and everything, but my appetite has just completely changed. Not used to making demands
Also found out I'm Rhesus Negative this week so lots of stabbing in the arms for me!
Bless your boys Bubblebell... sound like cutie pies!

twolittlemonkeys and resipsa - thinking of you both.

make sure you come back and tell us when your next pregnancies are confirmed, OK?

Anyone else getting pains at the weirdest things? In the last 48 hours have had twinges of pain when:
a) rolling over in bed
b) snorting explosively with laughter
c) poking myself in the uterus (that was admittedly dumb)
d) sneezing

I haven't been mental / hormonal yet apart from on Sat after seeing the bean (yay), then getting letter to say the bloody hospital wasn't going to see me till I was nearly 16 weeks (boooooo!). Hospital thing all sorted - getting scanned next week, then having 1st consultant appt a fortnight after. Also my dreams are vivid but nothing freaky - mostly about holidays, which is probably because I'm gutted that it will prob be awkward to get away. When you live in Ireland you need a week in the sun once a year to stop bits of you rotting off.

Can I come and join you all? I'm about 7 weeks with my 3rd dc but not too sure of my dates as I'm a bit irregular (and rubbish at keeping track). Dh isn't too happy about this pregnancy as it wasn't planned, but I'm sure (hoping) he'll come round eventually. I'm not having any symptoms other than extreme tiredness but am managing to pass this off at work as down to dd2 not sleeping very well.

Hi all i'm 7weeks with my 1st, due 25th-ish of October i'm so glad to see that you all seem to feel exactly the way i'm feeling. Not in a glad you feel shit way but in a glad i'm normal way. I had no idea my breasts could hurt so much had to wear a bra to bed last night and when i took it off to get dressed this morning i nearly screamed. I'm so bloated and gassy my tummy just hurts all the time, i hope this subsides soon. Stupidly excited about being a mummy me and DP have wanted a kid for ages.

Congratulations everyone!

Welcome to all the newbies :-)

Glad to see we're all on the same topic,i too have not blubbed today I am however totally knackered & completely swollen bloated & gassy. Oh how I long for the weeks when all this energy is supposed to miraculously appear!!!!

TLM I'm so, so sorry to hear that, so upset for you :( I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine and hope to see you posting merrily away in a "due in" thread a few months from now xx.

Midgetm can I ask a question? Congratulations on the new job - fantastic! But how did they take it all, you being pregnant and starting a new role?

I hate my job. I don't hate what I do, but where I work is a never ending avalanche of crap and such a slog through projects. I feel a bit trapped and am gloomily looking ahead to a future of being trapped there because they might offer working from home, allowing me to spend stealth time with the sesame seed - when, you know, it's grown and out of me

Got a massive project launching this evening, and I've spent the week pushing it to this point when European lawyers were hating on me, saying it shouldn't go live. Feel exhausted but have the week off next week. Thank god.

OK how's this for the universe aligning and pointing you in a direction??

Few months ago, before I got pregnant I was having the worst time with stress at work. DH is a personal trainer, and the head coach where he works has a very famous obstetrician as a client. This obstetrician suggested he see me if he could arrange a few free sessions for his nephew with my DH. We jumped at it, he was lovely, it was at a very cool private birth centre in London and I've really benefited from seeing one his colleagues for hypnotherapy for stress.

Last week I was in a charity shop and they'd had a bounty of antenatal stuff in - books on child rearing and stuff. Most of it was pretty standard stuff and I wasn't too interested. But then I saw three things: The Good Birth Companion, Gentle First Year, and a Buddha Bellies Yoga for Pregnancy. I don't know what drew me to these three things over all the other bog-standard books for reading the backs - all three are written/produced by other consultants from this private birth centre and all include work by the obstetrician I saw as a favour!

I urge you all to at least get the two books - wonderfully, wonderfully written and based very much on women's instincts to get her through birth, and all the really awesome things to get you through your baby's first year. They've made me cry so many times already because they're just so lovely. They are like having a very wise, much older midwife with you telling you that you are designed to do this. A Gentle First Year is full of research from around the world about what other cultures do with their baby's and full of recipes for calming baths, or lactate-inducing teas and stuff. Wonderful!

Morning all and greetings to the newbies. Grab yourself some sickness bands and flop on the sofa and drool with us.

Well I feel awful today and still haven't graduated out of my PJ's. I was planning on going into the office but not sure sporting cow print PJ's and a green face is a good look.

Angelico I get those too - it is ligament pain. I even get them before a BFP - always one of the sign I am pregnant. I get them too if I stand up too quickly and I seem to remember I got them all the way to the end. I also get a weird thing in my foot, like I am an old lady and when I stand up I have to kind of walk off the pain. Peculiar - I think that is the relaxation of ligaments business as I broke that foot when I was a kid.

Bettybat the job I got is an internal one so I haven't told them. No obligation to tell them before 12 weeks. I know laws are there to protect women but some of the most flagrant injustices I have seen in the work place have been against pregnant women so I buried my inner voice saying I should fess up and just kept quiet. A employment barrister I know told me a woman is more likely to experience discrimination in the workplace when pregnant or when she rtw after, than at any other time. Harsh but true so for now I will keep it to myslef. When I was interviewed I hadn't even seen a HB so it really wasnt relevant either(espcially with my history). The job is for about 6 months so being upduffed shouldn't really affect it at all. I then go back to the day job and slope off an mat leave on my old pay. It was an amazing opportunity so no way I was going to let the timing put me off. I got the news on the same day - Heartbeat and job - I should have got lottery ticket too to see if good news comes in threes, the same as bad.

Had prune juice for breakfast - made me feel sick as a dog. Not been sick yet but this sure hell is testing me to the limit. Bet it would look vile coming back up again. Sorry TMI and likely to make you all throw too....... Hope you are all looking and feeling better than me.

Age 40, DC2, 7wks something. (First time I have remembered to do this - maybe I am really starting to believe this bean is going to stick)

Ahh I see - c'est fantastique!

I just ate a massive fry-up, and could totally eat it all over again. I'm working from home - is it unreasonable to go out and order another one?

Does anyone know the general policy about maternity leave? If i take it and get maternity pay etc etc.. Am I then obliged to go back to work after the year is up? I have no idea wether I will want to go back to work or not.. DP has a seasonal job so really and truly I could only work in the evenings in winter, unless I want my child brought up by somebody else in childcare (which I'm not really jhappy with..)

Mickey : Re Maternity leave, you have a legal right to 12 months off and you do not have to return at the end of that, though your company has to offer you your job (or an equivalent one) back at the end of it.

Maternity pay is a different matter. If you've been employed for a reasonable amount of time (I forget the details) you'll get statutory maternity pay (90% for six weeks followed by about £100 a week). Your company may offer more than that, and the more money can come strings. For example, my company offers an extra week pay for every year you've been there BUT you only get 50% of that extra amount when you go and you would get the other 50% if you come back.

Have a look at this - it should have all the info you need.
www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/WorkAndFamilies/Pregnancyandmaternityrights/index.htm

midgetm congrats on job! Didn't realise you'd got it :)

Agree re. Discrimination. One of the most directly influencing-my-life talks I ever saw was a ted talk by the lady CTO of Facebook (should be googlable) where she gave the advice 'don't get pregnant until you're pregnant'. Specifically, don't start cutting back at work and signing up for fewer projects because you're planning a baby, you'll just lengthen the amount of time you have with lower-level successes under your belt, it will make your record look crapper when you rtw. I didn't realise at the time that the same really applies when you are pregnant - I salute you midgetm for keeping that career racing along, now is exactly the right time to do that.

I'm on a six month contract myself, but in a workplace where contracts tend to roll and roll. It's due to end just as I enter 3rd trimester. I'm cool with that, but I really need to find out what the deal is with mat leave!

i have been delaying telling work. I am 11 weeks nearly 12 now but i think i will leave until 4 months if i can get away with it. i work in a male dominated environment. i am one of 2 women that work in a team 15 and deal with it daily. Men are so boring with their sexual innuendos arent they?! no its not funny, its pathetic.! I doubt they'll notice im preggers.... they dont have a clue. i am very lucky with maternity leave though as i get a year off with full salary. But im probably on the other end of things - i expect i shall go back within 6months rather than take the full year. I dont want my career to suffer too much. Although i dont know how i will feel in 6 months time.... is it over whelming- the desire to stay at home with your baby? Did any of you intend to go back and then change your minds?

thanks Londonlivvy That was a great help.
ChrisseJA I would like to continue working purely for a little bit of independence, but at the same time you have to think how much you would be missing (if you were going back full time) with your child. I personally don't feel comfortable with the fact that somebody else would be caring for my child, and that I would miss little (but important) bits of their development. A bit of a hard one when you think about it, and of course there is the financial side to it. Will your child be better off if you went out to work? Or would your wages literally cover childcare and not leave much else? (Can you tell I'm in a predicament?;))

Hi Chrissie, there are babies in my DS creche that are less than 6 months old. Remember your baby will be less than 6months after 6months mat leave. Needs must but if you have a choice, I think that baby is very small to be away from it's mother for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. That's not to say you wouldn't love someone to take baby for a few hours and give you a break.

I went back to work full time when dd2 was just under 6 months and it broke my heart. I hated it, still do. But we need to pay the mortgage, pay bills and be able to eat. I thought before I had her that I would be desperate to get back to work and my career wouldn't suffer, etc. But I'm not applying for promotions now because I don't want to do more work I want to do less so I get to spend time with my children. I'll probably only be able to take 6months ish with this one too, but my timing was better with this one as I'll go abck for a few weeks then have the 6 weeks summer holiday to look forward to.

Oh and mat pay. As a teacher we get a reasonable amount of mat pay, but if you don't go back for a certain length of time (I think about 12-16 weeks) then you have to pay back anything above SMP that you have recieved. Not something we have to consider as we can't afford for me not to go back.

I went to back after DD but not till she was 14months old but it was fine by then. For me 6 months would be way way too soon but plenty of people do it. I like getting back to work - you kind of rediscover yourself. This time I won't be so lucky and I will struggle to get 9 months before my money will run out, (as the major breadwinner I need to get out there and bring in the dough). Intend to work up until I am 8cm's dialated to make the most of every moment with DC and be on full pay for a long as possible. last time I managed it till 3 working days before birth. You have the right to request flexible working (compressed hours are a god send for a working Mum) that way it isn't always 5 days in nursery and it seems more balanced.

Hello all!
Well I for one am glad it's almost the weekend - and I intend to do an awful lot of sleeping!

Angelico I'm getting those pains as well...had a particularly bad one today when I stood up from my desk - almost doubled me over. Turning over in bed also triggers them quite a lot. Glad to hear from midgetm that they are ligament related. I figured it was to do with things stretching.

Feeling better today as I've been working from home and managed to get out for an hour at lunch time and go for a walk...going to try and do that more often, and as the nights get lighter it's easier to do in the evenings. Also did a huge poo earlier! Hurrah!

On the maternity leave/pay issue. I will have some decisions to make...At the end of last year my role was made redundant and I secured a role in the same company covering someone's mat leave. So when she comes back (which will be a couple months after I go on mat leave all going well) I am still entitled to my redundancy pay.

Had I not got pregnant, I've been having conversations about moving to our business in the US and DH is having similar conversations with his work.

If we go to the States then I wouldn't need to go back to work (as we would rent our house here and DH work would cover rent in the States) - I think would also still be entitled to take my redundancy pay. (Though I will only be able to confirm that once I've told work.

Anyway - I haven't told work yet and don't plan to until after Easter. I have a call with the HR director in the States on Monday, so I'll feel a bit of a fraud, as even if I do take an opportunity over there it won't be till after I go back from Mat leave.

Sorry for the ramble - but it feels good to get it off my chest!

xx

its interesting to read peoples thoughts on maternity leave and working. It seems its quite a debate. Unfortunately for some its not really a choice but a necessity. I feel a little cold hearted saying that i dont have to go back but i already feel like i want to. But i think that im perhaps a little naive - i thought being pregnant wouldnt change me and i would just continue to do all the same things. So far i have done the opposite :) instead of carrying on going out socially like i used to i have stayed firmly at home on the sofa!
But i was quite determined to be a mother but to carry on with a successful career. I guess i shall have to weight up the sacrifices.
I agree with midetm - try and work until youre 8cm dilated :) - I?ll be carrying my Blackberry into the labour ward! haha

Hello everyone

resipsa and 2LM just catching up on your very sad news. My heart goes out to you. Having been there I have an inkling how difficult this time will be for you. You are in my thoughts.

Just a very quick one to say I had my 12w scan today and the NT - I was terrified after a pretty late MMC in my 1st PG last year, and losing a twin in this one, but remaining baby Beans seems to want to stick around - measurements and blood tests all perfect, with a 1 in 9000+ chance that anything is wrong with baby.

I'm soooooo relieved. It almost makes the bumpy journey we've had thus far worth it - here's to a smoother road ahead. We have a due date of 20th September now as we were over a week ahead of where we'd thought - but hope you don't mind me sticking around and lurking on this thread.

Hope everyone has equally reassuring news when the time comes. I have never been so relieved in my life and have even had a glass of fizz to celebrate!

Happy weekends all.