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For mums 2 be after M/C ... PART 5!

563 replies

hewlettsdaughter · 10/11/2003 21:36

Hi there. I was just wondering how everyone is - Ghosty, Hilary, Bogwoppit and anybody else who is pregnant after a previous miscarriage. There seems to have been a lot of sad news re pregnancies on mumsnet recently. On the one hand, I feel like I don't want to parade being pregnant in front of those who have had an m/c - on the other hand, we need to show that there are some positive stories out there!
I am 16 weeks tomorrow. Feeling ok, over the nausea I felt from about week 7 to week 12 or 13.

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hana · 17/05/2004 21:28

I don't remember what the measurement was ( could prob find out, have all the notes) but it was more than just that. He looked at the heart and there was a great fluid build up all around the head and neck and spine (this has a name too)so yes he could tell just like that. I do remember seeing this buildup, like a deflated balloon, it's something you don't forget.
I didn't miscarry this baby, I had a termination
which made it all the more difficult when we got the DS diagnosis back later on....if it had to be anyone of those I was praying that it wasnt for DS becuase I wouldn't terminate for that reason and the other conditions rarely survive full term or only shortly thereafter.....waffling now...

hana · 17/05/2004 21:29

and yes have asked for a nuchal fold scan too but am reconsidering that now.

bunny2 · 17/05/2004 21:49

hana, Im so sorry, how heartbreaking for you. Are you sure you want a nuchal scan? I have been doing lots of reading and many experts think the nuchal scan on its own is an unreliable way of diagnosing problems. There are other tests being developed which are more accurate. I cant risk another miscarriage but I am considering trying to get an appointment in London with a very experienced sonographer to rescan me. The woman I had today was a complete bitch and seemed to enjoy delivering her bad news.

bunny2 · 17/05/2004 21:50

sorry, waffling a bit now. Must turn this machine off.

hana · 17/05/2004 21:55

I have yet to come across a sympathetic sonographer - they are very matter of fact and we must be just like sheep to them, get them in get them out next patient please. People have such a lot riding on those 10 or 15 minutes in that darkened room don't they.
I think with the nuchal scan, it's more to know what my risk is and I guess take it from there. There seems to be an awful lot in favour of not having it at all, esp in reading though the other thread and with what I've experienced too. I'm not sure who said it on the other thread - but they had it spot on - about nothing being a sure thing. Nuchal tests only for DS and there can be so many other things that may go wrong up to and after delivery not to mention car accidents, etc etc. Awful to think about but so true.

bunny2 · 18/05/2004 00:20

I'm back! What is it with sonographers? I have spent the afternoon telling myself all the other things that can go wrong even with a good nuchal result. In a strange way it is quite comforting. My brother called to see how I was, he is very mathmatical and thought 1:44 were good odds for me.

Quackers · 18/05/2004 01:07

Hi Bunny, Hana... I've been trying to get on line but computer went down all night - gutted! Anyway, quick post before bed! Bunny, I had a measurement of 2.5 nuchal with DD and that equated to a 1 in 350 result when I was 25 yrs old. Don't know if that helps. You sound much more upbeat and I will catch up on the other thread tommorow - if I can find it! I have just been thinking about this in the bath - I know couldn;t help it. You just don;t want it to happen to you and yet the worry is there and the amnio thing and what could happen after etc.. Too many decisions and choices, it spoils pregnancy and it;s a shame. Speak tommorow. xxxx

bunny2 · 18/05/2004 01:46

thanks Quacks. from what I have read a 2.5/2.6mm measurement is nothing to worry about. It gives a slightly higher risk and this combined with the higher risk due to my age is what gives me 1:44. Most websites I've looked at regard measurements of 3mm+ as potentially worrying and I keep reminding myself of this fact. I am still very tearful though, I am a bit morbid at the best of times and worry mostly about how ds will cope with all this. I wanted to tell him Im having a baby and have waited till my 12 wk scan, now I dont want to tell him incase of stillbirth or a serious disorder that results in the baby dying. What to do eh????

jellycat · 18/05/2004 02:01

Hi bunny. Have just managed to get back on. I've been thinking about you. Well done for doing all that research, it sounds as though the outlook as less worrying than it seemed at first (although I appreciate that you must still be very worried). And as several other people have said, a 1 in 44 chance is actually not that high. I think getting a second scan is a good idea. WRT diagnostic tests you have time to think about it, you certainly don't need to be rushed into having a CVS next week. I really don't know what I'd do in your situation so you have lots of sympathy from me.

I hope your ds has a lovely birthday tomorrow. jellycat xx

bunny2 · 18/05/2004 13:22

thanks jelly, you're right the odds are not that bad, that is what I have to keep saying to myself. I am trying not to dwell on things too much as I have party to organise. Must get off this computer and blow up some balloons!

smellymelly · 18/05/2004 13:51

Hi Bunny and Hana - When was pregnant with dd(19mths) there seemed to be research into the 12 week scan showing the nose bone. Hope that makes sense?? If you can see the nose bone it is a good sign, with regards to not having downs. I'm not sure on how much research has been done, all I know is that both mine were showing bones on their photos, and it made me much happier at the time. I mentioned it to the sonographer at the time, and they were unaware of results, but had heard of it.

I just hope that might give you more indication...

smellymelly · 18/05/2004 13:52

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ds - Bunny

bunny2 · 18/05/2004 13:56

smelly, I had read about this and I asked the sonographer yesterday about it. The dismissive old cow said it was a load of rubbish, the nuchal fold was the only accurate way. She also dismissed serum testing and the quadruple test they have developed. I am trying to get referred to London, these bloody bumpkins down here dont know what they are on about. She also quoted stats like every time you get in a car you have 1 in 100 chance of being killed, she didnt know what she was on about. Rant over.

Ds is having TWO parties today, lucky boy. I always feel a bit tearful on his birthday, even more so this time.

piglit · 18/05/2004 14:05

Bunny - do you live in the South West? I can thoroughly recommend the sonographer at Salisbury Hospital. It cost £90 for my nuchal scan and the sonographer was brilliant - really nice, took ages over it and explained everything. She took lots and lots of measurements. She was the one who made a big thing of the nasal bone and explained that the "soft" markers for things like d/s change all the time and that you can't just look at the nuchal fold alone.

smellymelly · 18/05/2004 14:07

Your sonographer sounds like a real cow!! Ihad a bad experience with one once, my 20week scan with ds. She upset me so much that I complained to the head of dept. and was given another scan 2 weeks later. If you have the energy, then I think it would be worth contacting the dept in question.

bunny2 · 18/05/2004 14:12

piglit,. Thanks. That's brilliant, might go for that.

Smelly, I see my consultant on Monday and I am going to tell him she was unnecessarily unkind. When she was doing the nuchal measurement she announced I was high risk in such a happy voice that both me and dh initially thought she was giving us good news. It was as if she really enjoyed telling us we were high risk.

Jezebel · 18/05/2004 16:35

Bunny, I am very pleased that your baby is live and kicking. As for 1:44 result. I had a 1:25 result for DS with my dd (who did not have it). I was told this after the triple blood test. Anyhow, I had an amnio (despite having had 2 previous mcs and therefore sh** it) and all was well both with amnio itself and result. I now have lovely dd. Best wishes, whatever you decide to do.

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. If you are at all religious, say a prayer for us.

bunny2 · 18/05/2004 21:13

Hi Jezebel, good to hear from you.

Unfortunately I started bleeding quite badly after cramping all afternoon so I guess I might be losing this one too.

Original poster
hewlettsdaughter · 18/05/2004 21:34

Bunny - I just popped in to see how everyone's getting on and saw your last post... I SO hope your fears aren't proved right. Will be thinking of you xxx

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eyelash · 18/05/2004 21:36

bunny2 - do you mean you are bleeding now?

Quackers · 19/05/2004 00:16

Bunny, are you there??? I hope you;re ok. What a time for this to happen to you. Don;t assume the worst, you have had bleeding a few times now and your scans have been fine. My friend I told you about has a similar thing, still getting some bleeding but her scans have been fine. She asked about you BTW, I'll fill her in. I so hope you can get a scan tommorow (if you are able on DS's birthday). Much hugs my friend, I'll be thinking of you. Post back if you get chance. Qxxxxx
Jexebel, I'll say a little prayer for you, hope you are getting some tlc and I have been thinking of you xxxxxx

bunny2 · 19/05/2004 14:02

Hello, everything is fine My baby is perfect and lovely, moving lots, good heartbeat. I ma so so happy and relieved. I am going to stop worrying and start enjoying this pregnancy now.

Thanks Quacks, HD and everyone else for your thoughts and words. Next time tell me not to worry so much

Jezebel, I hope you are feeling ok. Have you spoken to a doctor yet about what happens next?

Egypt · 19/05/2004 14:10

just seen your messages bunny, and wanted to say that i'm so glad things are fine with you....you deserve it to be soooo much. xxxx

Quackers · 19/05/2004 16:26

BUNNY - BRILL NEWS!!!! Has this maybe put some perspective on things for you a little?? I just know you;re going to be ok this time, I feel it in my bones! You'll be a mummy again, try and enjoy it, easier said I know, but you'll soon be feeling it. I got through these few weeks with my doppler, don;t know if one would help you. I've always found the heartbeat, never had a problem. Might just get you through until est movements, seeing as you panick a lot like me! xxx

bunny2 · 19/05/2004 22:28

Hi Egypt, thankyou How are you?

Quacks, what are we like?!?! This is the new, calm Bunny. No more hysteria, no more doom and gloom. My baby is going to make it and I am going to enjoy the rest of my (probably last) pregnancy. My MW advised against a doppler, she said it could be the cause of more anxiety if one couldnt find a hb. So, so far, I havent got one. Still tempted though.