Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads part 9

[bigmacandhappymeal]

New thread!

Pmsl @ [pink] scaring the living daylights out of homebase checkout girl!! I would have loved to have seen her face!

Thanks for posting your birthplans, pink that is very thorough! Really helpful to see how you have presented it and what you've decided on If you don't mind me asking are you opting for cs over assisted deliver as this is less traumatic for baby...or some other reason?

evening ladies.

pink thanks for posting the plan, really useful, certainly stuff i didn't think of last time either.

dh did cut the cord last time have assumed he'll want to do it again.

daisy yay for being full term. don't panic you'll be wonderful, and everything your baby needs.

CAN'T SLEEP!!!! Aghhhhhhh!!!!

Forgot my sad face

Oh poor you Collie, I feel your pain Are you working today? Or, I should re-phrase that - are you fit to go to work today? I've given in to lying awake at night, but its easier now maternity leave has kicked in....

Thank you for your kind words Cep, I'm trying to force myself to relax and trust that the hormones overtake the anxiety (on reflection, this maybe wasn't a good couple of weeks for my counsellor to be taking her holiday....)

I had a very frank chat with my CMW last week about my birth plan and she made some useful comments on mine. I've left it very flexible as I have no idea about how I'll feel when the time comes, or how much pain relief I'll need. One thing which I need to have the balls to raise remember to discuss is the possibility of going straight to a c-section ala Pink. I think, particularly if we get to the point of needing to be induced, and everything is looking unfavourable, that I'd rather go straight for a semi-elective section, rather than struggling through labour and ending up with an emcs anyway. I know its a controversial approach though...

Collie feeling for you after a crap nights sleep...stay home today if you can.

Daisy I don't think what you're suggesting sounds controversial at all. If labour is proving slow and hard work with potential for the need to induce or use forceps, why would any clear thinking medical professional let it get to the stage for an EMCS rather than doing it sooner when mum and baby are less stressed and therefore making recovery time after better all round. (Or am I being a rather naieve first timer?)

From where I'm sat I think you're doing a rather splendid job of staying calm and waiting for the hormones to kick in.

Thanks daisy and blackkat for the sympathy! I'm at home, working from home or should I say staring blankly at my screen although I should be in work and in a one to one with my boss!!! I'm pooped!!! My eyes sting!!

I can't think straight to do a proper catch up, but hope everyone is ok.

Oh collie Im with you on the pants sleep last night, my night was terrible. Podcasts and the usual tricks didnt work and today I'm travelling with work and feeling so tired and just really anxious-struggling to hold it together at times and feeling very on edge.

I think my mind is processing things in the night that I'm not really admitting that I'm really worried about-I've become really scared about labour all of a sudden, not the pain but scared of death and what if me and baby die and Dh has to watch it all. I know all of this is so unlikely but when I get so tired I just feel so catastrophic and terrified about everything. I think it's because I read a story in the guardian at the weekend about a man who lost his baby and wife in childbirth, I know I shouldnt have read but i kind of felt I 'owed it' to the man and his wife to hear the story. Anyway, sorry for posting about such gloom...

daisy congrats on being top of the list, just think about being able to take those prams/buggies for a spin with your lovely snuggly one tucked up safe very soon.

Thanks harassed and pink for the birth plans - very useful! Is anyone else going for a natural 3rd stage? I really can't decide about that bit, I know I definitly want the cord to stop pulsating before it's cut but is that affected by the injection at all?

Pink I think we should start a trend along the happy slapping lines but film peoples faces as you ask them for plastic sheeting for home births. That made me giggle.

Lara no stretch marks here yet which I'm surprised about since my hips/thighs are covered in them from my teenage growth spurt. I started with the stretch mark cream at 5 weeks though so dont know if that's made a difference or not!

Collie I hope you've had the day off today!

Daisy you did tell daisybean not to be early so maybe she's just proving a point now We were told at NCT breastfeeding class last night that if you massage your nips like you were expressing milk by hand it can get labour started so maybe it's worth a go?

I'm off sick today (and was yesterday too). I'm not sure if I'll be going back in but I doubt it. They've started doing observations on people already and I can't be bothered with that on top of everything else! Do I just go to the doctor and tell him to sign me off? I'm going to offer to do some admin stuff for the department from home so that way I can off load some of my guilt for not being there.

oops xposts

collie glad you stayed at home but sorry you are attempting to work - can't you go to bed for a bit? At least you might get something done this afternoon.

doo dont read bad stories, they give you nightmares! I'm sorry you didn't sleep either. I have no advice since nothing works for me atm!

Thanks for doing the stats and the birth plan pink - I had a wibble just seeing me move up to halfway up the list so daisy goodness knows how you are feeling being at the top - mucho respecto to your calm status (even if it's only on the surface!)

Poor you blackkat - can you nap during the day? No sleep is no fun at all.

Took myself off to the midwife yesterday afternoon as wiwjunior was being extreeeemely naughty and went very, very quiet overnight and all during the day..... Didn't help that DH is currently away in Delhi..... typically as soon as I lay down on her couch, I felt a kick. She put the hb and contractions trace on and all was perfect and they give you a clicker to count the movements too and he managed a very impressive 25 in 20 minutes! Clearly he just wanted a bit of attention! Midwife was fantastically reassuring and said to come back every day if I felt the need to and that sometimes tensing up about it can stop you relaxing and focusing on the movements properly which may explain why as soon as I saw the heartbeat, the real kicking started - I think I must have relaxed completely at that point. Will try to remember in future to relax more before mentalling!

velvet I hadn't even thought about 3rd stage until my NCT class. I've not made any decisions yet, but at the moment I'm thinking I want the 1st and 2nd stages to be as natural as possible, but I'm really not bothered about the 3rd stage. From what I learnt at my class it can take an hour to deliver the placenta (although of course it could be much quicker). Once the baby is out I just want it to be over so I can be with him! The injection has no effect on the baby at the point you have it, and there are no side effects for you either (or so I've been lead to believe).

Think I'll probably try and have a nap at some point, we've got another NCT class tonight...god knows how I'm going to stay awake!!

Ps glad you've taken some sick days, hope you're feeling better. I think your mw can sign you off????

Aghh x- posts with wiw naughting miniwombat giving you a scare!!! But glad all ok! X

Naughty, not naughting...... Omg I need to sleep!!!

Right, am going to start asserting my authority due to being top of the list and so Collie off to bed with you young lady, you can't work when you're completely knackered!

And the same goes for you Velvet, if you're not fit to work, you're not fit. You and miniVelvet come first. Any sympathetic doctor should be able to do you a fit note saying that you can do limited admin from home.

Naughty miniWombat! So glad all's ok.

Blackkat thank you re the c-section thoughts - will you come with me when I mention it?

RE a managed third stage - we were told at NCT that they would inject as the baby was being delivered, and then cut the cord immediately so that the baby wouldn't get the stuff in the jab. At my unit they're happy to go with "I'd prefer a natural third stage however am willing to have the injection if advised or if time is moving on"

So basically, we can try a natural 3rd stage, and if I get fed up I can have the jab later.

Daisybean still unengaged and flying free, sweep booked for monday, and then induction on Friday. Eek!

Hope all are well? Get daisy at the top of the list! Eek, and ooh!

collie that hypno birthing book definitely won't work unless I make a concerted effort to try and read the thing. I've got so much on uni-wise, with no sign of it slacking off just yet! Are you ok, just struggling to sleep?

Naughty mini- wombat freaking you out. Totally uncalled for! Glad all's well though.

velvet and collie I had oxy-whatever you call it for quicker delivery of placenta. It was fine, and all seemed quite quick. My friend spent ages vomiting after it though.

Who was chatting about cord cutting? My DP didn't want to do it. An irrational fear of hurting the baby or not doing it right was what he said at the time, and tbh we were very scared of breaking DS when he was very new!

I just posted a question about the GTTest and whether to have it done, which got a lovely response. Have you all had it done?

Ok ladies I've had a nap but now I've woken up I've gotten myself in a right state! Just been blubbering all over DH on the phone! I'm just so fed up, fed up of constantly being of tired! Had arsey reply from (new) boss to my late notice this morning of working from home- in fairness I did have my first 1:1 with him and he is the MD so v busy! 1:1 now not until 26/9 5 weeks before I plan to go on mat leave, which he doesn't know as no one has asked me, in fact I dont even think he knows when I'm due! No maternity cover sorted, and no discussion about it to date! so really annoyed as I worry every day about work, and going in, getting jobs done, and how it 'looks' when I'm off.... Like today..... But does anyone even give a toss?!! Tormenting myself with whether or not I should be signed off for a week or so to properly rest, I hate keep having the odd day off as it only really helps for that day, and I just think it looks like I'm pissing around. But then I'm sat here beating myself up, feel like I should be at work, I'm only 30wks for gods sake, pull yourself together woman and stop being a whimp!!!!!

collie there'll be no fish slapping from me since I'm having the same dilema! Do you give a toss when other people have some time off work? The answer is probably no so think of it like that - you need to sleep otherwise you can't actually do any work! Speak to your GP or mw and see what they say about it.

Collie and Velvet absolutely no fish slapping from me either. Firstly because neither of you deserve it, and secondly because I was signed off for 6 weeks between 12 and 18 weeks, plus I only ever went back part time.

Please both speak to your MWs about being signed off - mine did it without seeing me (sobbing hysterically down the phone helped!) and all I had to do was pick up the completed sick note from the surgery. If you need to rest, then you need to rest, before it makes you ill, or the anxiety affects your blood pressure (which happened to me). And I shall fish-slap anyone who disputes this!!!!

Great advice daisy, collie just screw everyone and everything else and focus on you and bub. Everyone will get over it and if they don't then they're not worth worrying about tbh. Take the time you need and then you can go back feeling more productive for your final stretch to ml.

I'm now on my way home and gonna try and nap on the train. Thinking im gonna struggle thro tomorrow and fri morn meeting then poss take fri aft and Monday sick-I need a break and I'm only 26 wks!

Wishing you all peaceful wondrous sleeps tonight and hope to hear that collie and velvet are doing sod all tomorrow!

Thanks everyone, you're so lovely!

Well i text the cmw and she said to go down at the end of her clinic (gp surgery closed!!) she was really lovely, supportive and sympathetic.... Not at all dismissive like she sometimes can be. She agreed I needed to rest, couldn't write a sick note but said she'd go back to the surgery and have a gp sign one for collection tomorrow. On the one hand I feel hugely relieved at this... Just knowing I don't have to worry about will I /won't I sleep tonight is a weight of my shoulders! But I do still feel guilty and apprehensive. I feel like there is so much to be done before I go off on ml, but then again if they'd organised cover by now I'd have less to worry about!

velvet I have said the same things to you, as you have me, you need to rest and put you and miniv first. It's soooo much easier to say it than to do it, and somehow someone else's reasons for being off seem so much more deserving and acceptable than mine- like you are in PAIN for goodness sake!!! But it's all relative to how you are coping I suppose!

So, hopefully I will be resting tomorrow...... But hopefully I'll also get a good nights sleep!!

daisy I'd also like to add, you're doing a tremendous job of being top of the list AND managing too look after me us!!!

NCT breastfeeding class phase 2 tonight....

collie and velvet hope you're both feeling better . Do not worry about taking time off work, it's just a job and you and baby are more important

daisy so exciting to see you at the top! Re pushchair - in the end I went for the iCandy cherry in mulberry (love the colour and yes I did worry a bit about whether it would be ok for a boy - we're team yellow - but decided it would be fine with pale blue blankets etc). My parents are (very generously!) treating us to this and are buying us the matching carrycot, changing bag etc which is fab of them

Re third stage, we were discussing this last night at my yoga/active birth class and the teacher did a really good job of explaining why it's so good for the baby to let it get as much blood as possible from the placenta before it's delivered and cord cut...I've had the injection and medically managed third stage before and been advised by consultant to do the same this time because I haemorrhaged after dd's birth, so I don't think I'll have much option. I might try asking if they can leave it a minute before administering injection though.

I'm considering going to the nhs antenatal classes again just to see if I can meet a few people (all my local "mum" friends are from when I had ds and dd and have all finished having children now - mat leave could be lonely!) but wondering if I'll look a bit odd going along as a 3rd timer! Anyone else on second or subsequent baby planning on doing the classes again?

collie glad mw is getting you signed off for a bit. you need to do what is best for you and pup. now hot cocoa and early night.

teacake You are not a bad mum, everyone is allowed to be tired and stressed. That's without early starts and heavily pg. Ignore bitchy mum it has nothing to do with her it wasn't her child. Now give yourself a break, the more pressure you put on yourself the worse you'll feel.

velvet again you need to do what's best for you a baby, if you feel the need to get signed off then do so.

can i join the no sleep club, ds woke at 4 this morning having had an accident in bed, but then neither he or i could go back to sleep for about an hour and half. sooo tired.