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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

The sex is written in an envelope

61 replies

OrangeGloss · 04/06/2011 11:30

I'm 27 weeks and just had a 4D scan and have the sex written in an envelope in case we want to know. We didn't ask at the 20 week scan, but now kinda like the idea of knowing

Any thoughts for or against knowing?!

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Daisybell1 · 04/06/2011 11:34

Ooh Orange how exciting!

I think I'd have to know, but OH doesn't, so I'd be steaming it open and having a sneaky peek if I were you!

Was the 4D scan worth it? Did it help you bond more?

PinkFondantFancy · 04/06/2011 12:02

orange i didn't realise you'd had that done! The curiosity would kill me-I have no idea how you've kept it sealed up until now! Could you not see on the scan? How was the scan BTW?

I did really want to know the sex but I've spoken to a few people who have had a couple of kids and have found out and not found out, and they think that finding out on the day you give birth is much more exciting. I am soooo curious to know though!

aethelfleda · 04/06/2011 13:15

Open the envelope!!!

Sorry, do what you want. I just had to know with mine- I liked the idea of my little one having a personality and thinking about her as opposed to it.

Original poster

OrangeGloss · 04/06/2011 14:37

We had it this morning and it's already driving me mad whether to know! I think it did help with bonding, we have such a lovely photo of it's face it really seems like a little person :) at one point it moved and I felt and saw on the screen - nice to match the movement to the body part and confirming what felt like a foot actually was

I do like the idea of thinking him/her rather than it, but then there is the surprise on the day, we're both 50-50 but of course would be happy with either flavour

OP posts:

ceebeegeebies · 04/06/2011 14:39

open the envelope!! How can you not??? It would be absolutely killing me if I was sat there with that information under my nose

I had to find out with my DC cos I am just that kind of person - it was still a surprise....just 20 weeks earlier

Annie456 · 04/06/2011 14:49

We've had the same envelope since 20 weeks (now 28 weeks) and not opened it. I would advise not opening it for a couple of weeks and seeing if you still feel the same temptation. We've got used to the fact that we won't know before the day and it doesn't bother us that the envelope is there!

Wormshuffler · 04/06/2011 14:54

I wouldn't open it, I love that "it's a ......." moment

m1nn1em0u5e · 04/06/2011 15:39

I would open! With my first we didnt find out & with my second we did, I much prefer knowing! Im expecting no 3. now & will definitely find out!....Its a very personal choice though :)

Beesok · 04/06/2011 17:29

There is no way I would have enough self restraint not to open that envelope :) but I am the person who nagged hubby into an earlier scan just to find out sex coz couldn't wait for 20wk one - nah waiting 9 months would be torture!

but of course it's your choice :)

now open the envelope :)

lockets · 04/06/2011 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumperlicioso · 04/06/2011 18:53

Done both, preferred not knowing but you will have to shred the envelope if you decide not to look or it will taunt you

scarlettsmummy2 · 04/06/2011 18:56

i found out but do think it took away from the actual birth- the surprise element was gone! try and hold off if you can (although I agree with shredding the envelope if you don't find out!)

m1nn1em0u5e · 04/06/2011 18:58

Beesok did you find out at 16 weeks then? I've been looking at the gender scans!....Im so impatient I cant wait to know!....Not that it matters, but I just need to know! Is it really clear?

Beesok · 04/06/2011 19:03

m1nn well, I was told 90% girl :) was 17 wks at the time and the sonographer didn't seem to have a hard time in identifying the sex and 90% seems pretty sure to me :)
He actually showed me "here's the bum, two legs and nothing in between" :) so unless baby was hiding something or it's tiny then we're buying dresses :)

Have my scan on Monday so hopefully will confirm it! :)

BTW the scan was also a means of reassurance for me as I am a worrier and after my MMC last year it is still difficult for me to calm down before a scan and, although I know the reasons behind it, I feel that 2 only (am currently "low-risk") scans throughout the whole pregnancy is too little :)

thesurgeonsmate · 04/06/2011 19:09

I've heard about a strange US custom. They hand the envelope to their local boutique baker, who bakes a cake tinted either pink or blue and then ices it so that the customer can't see the colour when they pick it up. Then they hold a party, and cut the cake with all their freinds and relatives standing around waiting to see if the inside is pink or blue!

LaWeasel · 04/06/2011 20:54

I would open it!

Immediately after my DD was born all I could think was "oh my god it's a baby!" on repeat (yes, I know) and finding out the gender then wouldn't have been all that exciting in comparison.

You might as well have lots of little exciting moments (scans where you get to see your baby is okay, and what the sex is) to liven up the fact that most of pregnancy is a rubbish and incredibly long countdown to finally getting to meet your baby.

Panzee · 04/06/2011 21:01

I love the idea of that custom thesurgeionsmate.

LadyOfTheCuntryManor · 04/06/2011 21:30

We didn't find out. I think it ruins it-we're not finding out with this one either. I hate the pre-determining of personalities. Names are one thing, but then people find out the sex and then decide the poor mite's future depending on it. Wait until d day

lockets · 04/06/2011 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

m1nn1em0u5e · 04/06/2011 22:04

Beesok, another reason I want another scan is for my 2 children to see their little brother or sister. With my last baby we took ds1 to the 20 week scan & they told us that they thought that our baby had a hole in the heart, the scan was traumatic to say the least & not something I would like to repeat with my children there. Thankfully he didnt have a hole, but we had to have repeated scans.

LaWeasel, we didnt find out with our first baby & I completely forgot to look at the sex after he was born! I was so keen to look at his little perfect face that it was a few moments until my Mum said 'Its a boy'!!

I dont pre-determine my childs personality, I would like to know for practical reasons! I also hate surprises, I like to be in control & plan meticulously!....

Personal choice really isn't it?....

captainbarnacle · 04/06/2011 22:06

'ruins it'?!

lockets · 04/06/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyOfTheCuntryManor · 04/06/2011 22:35

Yes, ruins it. The element of surprise.

LadyOfTheCuntryManor · 04/06/2011 22:36

Well the majority of people find out the sex then go out and buy pink dresses or blue grow suits.

That's already pre-determining your child's life. Each to their own.

captainbarnacle · 04/06/2011 22:40

I'm not having a baby to get 'a surprise' but to expand my family, to enrich our lives, to love and to watch grow and develop. I don't have a single blue or pink outfit but I know what I am having.

Knowing the sex of your baby a few months ahead of the actual birth ruins nothing.

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