Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 8

[tiggersreturn]

new thread!!

Sorry have been away for a while having a it of a wibble over here, will explain after catch up...

apples birth sounds just lovely, so glad M is sleeping and feeding well and super pleased toddler newborn is going ok, gives me hope :)

izzy names is a sore subject over here! Although I think we have settled on Ethan James, but I keep having a wibble and wondering if it is too common. I'm one of those people that likes classic names, nothing too modern or dare I say it 'chavvy' and nothing too old fashioned so it is kind of difficult to think of anything. Especially when you have a DH like mine than hates all my suggestions but doesn't give any of his own yet. But you can guarantee we had a girls name straight off... that we don't need.

collie I too have very wet discharge at the moment, feels very watery and I also have been questioning whether it is wee, discharge or fluid, but I came to the conclusion it is discharge and will be investing in some discreet liners to save on my washing and my discomfort.

dachs lovely to see you about here, hope you have a lovely holiday :)

cep so pleased about good scan results and hope consultant goes well today. No advice re larger bras as I have mini minis and have yet to need to change size.

Waves to everyone I missed, as I'm sure there are lots I have...

Had a couple of days here where movement has been really quiet. Not quiet enough to go in as if I sit and concentrate I can feel him knocking in my back so I know he is just lying awkwardly, but it doesn't stop me mentalling about it. Had to get the doppler out a couple of times this week.

Also, do any of you find it hard to deal with new pregnancy announcements? I know I am pregnant, and things seem to be ok but why am I still having a hatred and bitterness towards these announcements?

I have a friend that announced her pregnancy yesterday, ten minutes after POAS, and on FB She text me saying she was pregnant, I didn't really know what to say, I couldn't seem to say congratulations. I felt complete resentment. The naive feeling of all being ok and not having to worry... a feeling I will never have again. I eventually replied saying congratulations and she text me with something along the lines of "Everything should be ok thats why we've announced it so early because I haven't got anything wrong with me like you" I thought it was so insensitive and I had to have a little cry to myself in the bathroom, and I'm welling up just typing it. I feel so stupid and mean to not be happy for her.

Sorry for rant just needed to get that off my chest.

coconuts I think that's a horrible thing to say to anyone and I'm not surprised you cried. I'm now sitting here thinking 'i hope something goes wrong with her pg and then she won't be so smug any more', which I know is horrible of me but I can't help it

dachs I found myself thinking that too, but then I made myself even madder for thinking like that. I'll guarantee nothing will go wrong, it'll all be perfect and she'll still be naive to it all. I'm glad it wasn't just my stupid hormones blowing it out of proportion.

She must only be 4-6weeks, at that stage I didn't even dare to stand up let alone make announcements. I still haven't made announcements at almost 26 weeks.

Bitterness and jealousy is a horrible feeling.

collie if it's any consolation I have the same discharge issue. My MW told me it's normal but it is v. disturbing, especially when sometimes I can actually feel it flowing out . If you were worried though, I think your midwife has a special stick thingy that tests whether it's fluid or wee. My DH first felt movement about 22 weeks-ish I think.

wombat sorry to hear the house purchase is descending into chaos - mine is too.......

izzy and cep with you on the names - I love love love the girl's name we've got but I like, but don't love, the boy's name.

daisy that sheep cardy is amazing - have forwarded to my mum to add to the request list

apples that birth sounds fab, and DH being able to stay over sounds lovely too - they won't allow that at my hospital, even in the birthing centre :(

cep sorry, can't really help on the bras front as I've switched to underwired but would be interested to know how you get on as I could really do with one to sleep in I think.

coconuts if it's any consolation at all, I posted about almost the exact issue a couple of months ago. I was trying to work out why I felt so jealous of other people's pregnancy announcements when, as far as I know, I'm happily diffed myself. After talking to DH I came to the same conclusion as you that it's jealousy of other people's complete blissful naivity that everything will be fine for them and pregnancy loss is only something that happens to other people. Of course I don't wish MC on them, but I guess I'm just sad for myself that it would have been nice to have had a carefree pregnancy like them. Your friend sounds like a complete twunt though, sorry. Is she mad??? I would be and I'm afraid she's not immune to the risks that everyone else faces.

argh am getting enraged just thinking about coconut's friend

Morning all!

Apples glad all is going well for you and your little family - soooo sweet! And what a lovely story - fabulous!

Is it Crochet's day today?

Emoo how are are the iron tablets - I think I'm heading the same way myself - how are the side effects?

Izzy so glad you're getting movements now, reassuring isn't it? until the little buggers darlings have a quiet day and all panic sets in!

Collie how is the dream genie? I have a standard v shaped pillow which is doing me ok at the moment, although I'm not sure about a few weeks down the line. My OH has only felt one movement (oh dear, that sounds dodgy) and that was just last week. We tried for a while when she was moving consistently but he couldn't feel anything, but then last week it was finally strong enough to. I don't know if her being transverse makes it more difficult - ie can only feel things at the sides.

Hope the knee is ok, and you have as lovely a time away as possible. Still thinking of you masses x

Orange I also like Dylan We had Matthew and Alistair earmarked for a DS so if anyone wants those then you're welcome . I/we have our own dilemma - and I'm with Coconuts on the 'chavvy' thing - ok, hit me with it, just how over-popular is Pippa going to be this year? Because we chose Philippa way back before even TTC (Pip was a rejected sheepdog pup name but thought it would be a fab baby one ) and now the Daily Mail is saying how its going to be the chav name of the year. Grrr .

Cep I really hope your appointment gives you some reassurance - I could hear movements on the dopler long before I could feel them if that helps.

Coconuts I'm sorry but your friend sounds really insensitive! I don't blame you for having a little cry, I would have had a big one! And don't beat yourself up about feeling resentful about her positivity, its perfectly natural. Be nice to yourself chick.

Have dragged myself into work today away from the knitting needles - Operation Stealth Knit has begun in earnest - unisex purple tweed jumper being knitted in public, little white wrap around cardie being knitted upstairs under the cover of darkness .

Had a brian moment/meltdown yesterday in the sandwich shop when bank wouldn't give me any money and I couldn't buy our lunch. Luckily woman let OH pay later that afternoon - found this morning he's filled my car with fuel and put 100 quid in my wallet, bless him. So cakes on me today!

On one hand I would never wish for hr to go through what we have all been through but I just wish there was some way for her to know how it feels. I can't possibly talk to her for fear of saying something. I can't seem to think of anything else.

I may delete her from my FB, as she will surely be posting everyday about her symptoms/lack of symptoms/names etc.

Oh and she has already told her 2.6yo DD.

x posts with Pink

Sorry to hear about the house move - bloody estate agents (and I'm a surveyor!)

Thank you for forwarding the sheep cardy to your mum - do you think she could do one fairly shortly then I can pick her brains when I don't know how to follow the pattern

coconuts if I were you I would at least take her off the list of people that show up on your newsfeed, so that you can only see her status updates if you choose to go and look at her page. I would try and ignore her as much as possible apart from that until she can prove that she's capable of being much more sensitive than she's been so far. The way I've been dealing with it is to try and focus on my pregnancy, and mine alone. It's v. v. v. hard though. There's no way for her to know how it feels unless you've been through it, so I wouldn't even bother to try.

I don't know if you've been doing any visualisation stuff, but I find it helpful when I get worked up about this sort of stuff to go somewhere quiet and spend half an hour doing some visualisations with my baby.

Pink - visualisations? what do I do? I find it really hard to even imagine having a baby, still, at this stage, it is impossible for me to comprehend. I think there is actually something wrong with me.

Thanks all, for being so nice :)

Well said Pink! Definitely 'hide' her comments, as you;ll just get wound up and upset.

In terms of visualisation, my yoga teacher used one about imagining yourself in your favourite place - the sounds, smells, heat of the sun, that sort of thing, and then imagine yourself there with your baby, them lying next to you, just the two of you. I don't know if this was the kind of thing Pink was referring to.

I am the ultimate sceptic but I think that helped me a little. The other things I've got is the pregnancy hypnotherapy cd which helps as well. I bought mine on ebay for £3.

Thanks Daisy, I'll give it a try when I have some peace from DD. Bit scared to imagine having a baby, still convinced it;s going to go wrong.

Oh I'm so angry with myself for feeling like this.

Going to drag myself to get dressed else I'll end up sitting here all day doing nothing.

coconut your friend is an insensitive moron!!!! Along with everyone else I am very for you. It's bad enough when people are simply blissfully niave, but to make comment about something being 'wrong' with you is just plain rude and unkind. I'd too would hide her from your list of people you get updated about.

I think your feelings towards her pg are sadly understandable. I think they are particulary hightened when people make announcements so early bcs you know the truth. I am also much more aware of how my own and other peoples pg annoucements might impact on others who might be trying so when people are so 'in your face' and blasé about it, I get mad in their behalf too.

Don't beat yourself up about your feelings. I think every single one of us on here has had them. Just try not to let her get to you, she is not worth it.

wombat and pink sorry the moves are going
pear shaped, nothing too serious though I hope!

Thanks everyone for replying re my wet knickers v reassuring to read how common it is. Got the panty liners out again today, although it seems to be less heavy- if that's the rightvway ro describe it? No blood thankfully dachs otherwise I'd definately be freaking out!! Think I'll mention it the next time I see the mw or gp, just in case but won't ring especially seeing as though you're all the same!!

daisy dreamgenii is on order. Just still waiting for it. As IRS off eBay they are usually a bit slower! Meant to ask the other day, how was hebdeb bridge? It's near me and I love a drive over. Lots of yummy coffee shops and nice shops to potter around.

Actually been having a bit of movement the past few days. very light in the main but def there. Made dh hold my bly in the cinema (I'm sure we would have looked rude if anyone could see) and her felt a single tiny flutter which made me happy-probably happier than it did him as it was very faint, but I just want to make him part of it.

Anyway, Happy Friday to all. Hope everyone has lovely weekend plans!

Sorry for any typos. Stupid mn moblie will
let me preview but not scroll though it so I can see them all but can't correct!!! How annoying!!!

Thanks Tunnocks and Collie. Have removed her and her BF from my FB news feed, there have been two statuses about it already today. She has text me though and I didn't mince my words. I said that although I am pleased for her I will possibly be very distant from it all as I still find it hard to deal with pg announcements. I said I disagreed with her FB announcement so early on but we are all entitled to our opinions. She said ok, she understands and won't rub my nose in it. Which is fair enough.

Had a bit of a meltdown to DH and he feels sad for me that I can't be happy like I deserve to be, which was a really sweet thing to say. Had a good old cry, got dressed made some lunch and felt some really huge take-my-breath-away kicks so that's cheered me up after him being a bit quiet for a couple of days. :)

Got to try and take it one day at a time. Every day is a day nearer, and every day is a day more for bean to grow more. I need to be grateful for what I have and enjoy it as much as possible.

Collie - good news on the little wiggles :) They have to be the single most reassuring thing to have :)

And those that suggested the imagining thing, I tried it and all I can see is my baby being a girl. It's meant to be a boy!

afternoon ladies

coconut i agree with the others i think that was a disgusting thing to say. Goog on you for blocking her.

Consultant went ok. although he had to warn me that as a larger lady i'm more prone to problems, etc and if something goes wrong at a mlu it's to late where as at hospital i could be sorted straight away. They'd support me wherever i decide to give birth, and if i need a transfer, they'd try and get one as quickly as possible. Well i'd hope they would regardless of the size of the person who's labour was having problems. Also if a labour goes wrong at a mil surely it doesn't matter what size you are as to whether or not it would be too late or not. We're going to haev a look at an mil attached to the local hospital as well so at least we've checked all areas. Didn't hear hb but don't mind as felt lots of movement this afternoon.

grrrr at coconuts friend how fricking insensitive is she! I also remember the discussion pink started about not being happy for pg people and it is true I envy their blissful ignorance.

We are ok with names - chose a girls one ages ago but couldnt agree on boys so maybe it's fairly lucky we are having a pink one after all! DH wont let me tell anyone what it is which is really annoying coz I want to guage opinions. I dont know why because I love the name!

hi dachs how are you doing?

I'm really struggling with my brain at the moment and actually remarked today that I now understand how frsutrating it must be to be a man! I really can only think about one thing at a time and it's driving me mad!!

It's Friday!!!

Cep - pleased consultant went ok :) I'm sure complications can happen whatever the size of the mother. Just because you are more 'at risk' doesn't mean much. It's all a risk, regardless. Like you said, I'm sure they would endeavour to help every lady they have if a complication does arise so I'm sure a transfer wouldn't be a problem. Pleased you're getting lots of movement :)

Does anyone have any feelings on whether it is too early for me to buy a buggy? Found a good deal on the one I like, and it wouldn't be available to be delivered until after 4th July so I feel after todays blip I really need to make a positive step forward. Tempted to order it but worried it may be too soon. Obviously have read the returns policy back to front just in case!

I'm fine thanks. Saw my lovely obstetrician yesterday so got to drool over him some more. Is it wrong that I think my doctor is hot?

Looking forward to going on the Orient Express

AF has rocked up properly (v v short luteal phase but I'm trying not to worry about that too much given that it's the WTF cycle). Am trying to stay positive about doing IVF again and am hoping that if my cycles start up at 28 days again (which they did after the previous mc) then I'll get another round in before I have to go back to work, so I won't have work stress and hopefully it will work straight away. If it doesn't I'll be absolutely gutted because it's my only chance of getting pg again before the twins' due date.

Have been feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Nothing to do with the hangover I've had all day. From two glasses of wine. I've seriously lost my ability to be able to quaff . Must be the 7 months of total abstinence. any chance of spilling the name to cheer me up?

coconuts If you like it, go for it. The jinx pixies have been banished. Nothing you do or don't do will affect the outcome of the pg, so if there's a good deal to be had go forth and shop!

lol dachs i've been seeing an osteopath for my hips and he's pretty hot too. It's so difficult to decide what underwear to wear! fx for your ivf. and only 2 glasses of gave you a hangover?? I would be very disappointed with that

Hello lovelies :)

Dachs lovely to see you dearie and very glad things seem to be getting back to normal with cycles etc - will be crossing everything for an insta-diff for you and also well done on finding a hot doctor

coconuts WOW. Don't blame you for removing said friend from view. I also got The Rage seeing her comments. It's bloody hard enough keeping positive as it is without that sort of insensitive shite. I'd buy the buggy. Like dachs says, bollocks to the jinx pixies, they are not welcome in here!

Lovely to hear all is going well cep and tunnocks :)

I think crocet is having sweepage today? Hope all goes well.

Today has been good and bad. I've had my 34 week check up and apparently Owlet is looking good, on target and 2/5 engaged (yikes) which may explain why I spent my entire life going to the loo only to find it really wasn't worth bothering (sorry, TMI). On the bad side I pranged my husband's van into a parked car on the way to the MW appt. Large scrape down one side of both vehicles. Whoops.

velvet I am indeed disappointed with that. :( Doesn't bode well for the holiday where we were planning much quaffage. Still, I guess DH will be pleased that I've turned into a cheap date! Glad someone else has doctor underwear dilemmas :)

yay for owl and owlet engagement. :) Not yay for car scrapeage :( Still, that's what insurance is for! :)

Happy Friday everyone! Well, I've made it to 25 weeks... hooray!! (Every little helps). Feels a bit strange not knowing whether I have 1 month left or 3, but in spite of that I have still not shopped or packed!

Orange - I was very confused by your YouTube comment - is there an online knitting lesson?

Dachs - It's lovely of you to keep popping in. I do hope you are as okay as you can be, and that you are as rapidly diffed as feasible. at you thinking your doctor is hot!!

Collie - I think DH first felt something shortly after 20 weeks... but my placenta is not anterior so that might have helped.

Wombat and Pink - oh dear - hope you manage to sort out your house-buying soon.

Izzy - I totally agree - boys' names are very tricky. There just don't seem to be so many to choose from, and they all have associations.

Cep - glad you're getting enough wriggles to reassure you. The mlu attached to the local hospital sounds a good compromise?? I had a friend who had to be transferred 20 miles in late labour... she says it was one of the worst experiences of her life.

Daisy - love the knitting patterns you are coming out with! That pod thing is adorable! And in spite of my fears, the iron tablets seem not to be having too much in the way of side effects at all (although I was suffering with constipation before they even started, so it's hard to say whether that's changing or not).

Coconuts - what an incredibly insensitive thing for your friend to say. She really has no idea, does she? You reacted just as I would have done, and I think you did bloody well not to bite her head off. I also have not made announcements - just told people as and when I see them (it's starting to get hard to hide). But I can't seem to take that final step and phone people who I don't regularly see. Still scared of jinxing, I guess.

Teacake - lovely to hear from you - glad things are going smoothly after your rocky start.

Velvet - LOL at your man-brain comment... is that one down from pregnancy-brain? I'm struggling with words and sentences at the moment. Gets very embarrassing at work.

Owl - glad to hear the owlet is fine - hope your DH hasn't been too mean to you about the prang.

Hope everyone else is doing beautifully!

Dachs the Orient Express?! Are you getting that to Venice? Sorry, I don?t know about how it works but it sounds fabulous and well deserved. There?s only one thing for it, get some practice drinking in before you go :) I?m glad to hear things are settling down, and am wishing and hoping for pre-work IVF success
Collie good work on the ebay purchase, I?ve bought lots of my maternity clothes that way. 20 week scan is nerve-wracking at the best of times, how long do you have to wait? I had mine on my DD, but felt a lot better afterwards
Izzy we also like Oliver (shortened to Ollie), Huw and Hugo so feel like we?ve got a good shortlist we?re happy with. Isaac is a great name :) we?re struggling with girls though. Coconuts Ethan James sounds perfect. It?s so difficult to predict what will be ?on trend? but classics like those won?t date at least Daisy Pippa might be just an unlucky time to pick it :(
Daisy those patterns are adorable! The sheep will be well beyond me though. Thanks to yourself and Crochet for the advice I?m all the more determined to knit something now
Coconuts I am equally and admire your resistance in not giving her a mouthful for her insensitive comments I would have cried too. Good work on blocking her updates. I get jealous of women announcing they?re pregnant without a care in the world and also jealous of bumps, despite having one of my own jinx pixies are banned, so go for it - it has to be done sooner or later :)
Pink visualisation is a good positive thing to do, I?ve been trying it myself, I think I started after hearing you talk about it before
Cep good news on the movement. It sounds like they are being supportive, and I would expect a level of care regardless of size or whatever other circumstance
Owl 34 weeks! It seems to have gone so quickly. Good news on being 2/5 engaged :) Hopefully DH will understand your special awareness might not be so good and you have other things on your mind at the moment
Emoo 25 weeks is a milestone, hopefully there?s time left to shop/pack. YouTube has some good online lessons, I just paused and rewound until I got the hang of it, here?s
DH didn?t feel movement until gone 20 weeks I think, it would always stop when he put his hand there, but now has felt more and seems more entertained by watching my bump jumping :)

Well, we're back home, I was so sad to leave yesterday I cried :( miniorange has been quiet after the earlier business too, so I'm going to go and lie down with my fingers crossed for some more activity