The October Baby Bus

[arabella36]

Will anyone join a new baby bus with me?

I just got a BFP this morning so its very early days for me, but I'm so excited I thought what the hell, I'll head straight for the pregnancy thread anyway

If all goes according to plan this will be DC2 and due on 2nd October. Ive enjoyed being on the October TTC bus so I thought it would be fun to continue over here.

Hi, please can i join this baby bus? I got my BFP yesterday, a week after AF was due and the calculator on here gives 2nd Oct as a due date. It will be our 1st DC. Very excited and a little bit scared :)

Muffins I hope everything is ok. I'm convinced your 'testing on the 24th' thread brought me luck.

Is anyone else unmarried? I told my Mum the good news today and she went a bit mental because we're not. I've been with my DP for 4 1/2 years, living together for 3, got the practice babies! (our 2 very precious cats), we're both 30 and were very much trying for our much wanted baby. It's upset me quite a bit tbh.

I'm unmarried too, been with DP 7 years, living together for 6, also got a cat!!

My parents are ok with it as none of my cousins are married either, neither is my sis and she's just had her first DS.

I think having a child together is more of a commitment than marriage, IMO...

Buffy, Dh and I weren't married when we had our DD. We got married just after she turned two. I agree with Hils. A child is a bigger commitment :)

Hi,

Thanks for the replies Hils and Cocunuts. You're right, having a child is a much bigger commitment than marriage. It really annoyed me that they assume he's not committed just because he hasn't proposed.

They've been laying so much pressure on that he even took them out for dinner before xmas and told them that he was committed and we would get married one day but on our own terms not theirs.

So today my Mum tells me that she's very concerned because I'm with a man who won't commit to me and I can't expect her to be happy. My Dad wasn't much better, his comment was I hope you're boyfriend does right by you. Excuse me but have I time travelled back to the last century!

Sorry for the rant. I guess the only thing that matters is that we're happy.

agreed that having a child together is a bigger commitment than getting married! I have a DH but my sister doesn't (although has one DD) and hate seeing the pressure she's under. It's not the 1950s ffs.

How are you all today? I am good although have felt hungover for the last three days. I've read you're supposed to be really hungry but am the opposite, don't really feel like eating. Am tired too, not sure how it will be going to work Monday and being unable to have afternoon nap!

Hi Penelope, I remember in my first pregnancy I described the first trimester in exactly that way - like having a hangover. AND not only that, but the food which warded off pregnancy sickness was the sort of junk which you might eat with a hangover - salty fatty stuff which I rarely want when not pregnant. The interesting thing was that I didn't put on too much weight, just the average amount, and It came off v quickly afterward without me thinking about it. As a result , I now think that your body knows what it's doing with these cravings and I must have needed the calories or something which was in that food. Mmm, I have rambled on!

buffyfairy those sort of situations with your parents are difficult. I have had a similar disagreement in the past with mine before I was married and had a baby. it was to do with sharing a house with my exbf. It was tense for a good while, and I didn't back down, but what makes it awkward is you know they only have your best interests at heart! That generation can have different moral/social/religious beliefs and I think that can be at the route of these problems. I hope that this all resolves itself soon so you don't have to worry about it. Its stressful being at odds with your parents! Best of luck.

Thanks arabella36 for making me feel less guilty about my current ice-lolly and crisps happit

Ooooops, I mean habbit. Am thinking upside down!

Hi all, i too had my first night out of not drinking on Saturday. Took the car though as we had our 2 other DC with us. Said i had a bad cold too,which isn't too far off the truth! I too am worried about pushing my luck with 2 healthy DC already and am now really worried about age gaps between my other DC. My eldest child will be 9 when this one is born (if a successful pregnancy of course!!!! We are all so paranoid aren't we?!!!) xx

ugggg morning sickness has started I am going to see the MW today maybe see how we will find out my dates. Hope everyone else is doing well

Morning everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend.

On the being married front - my older aunties and my Dad are quite religious and old fashioned so they are all a bit but hide it quite well since only a couple of my cousins are married and they don't have DCs yet. The rest of us are brazen hussies who are "living in sin" and having babies out of wedlock. A few years ago this would have been gossip central but for some reason they seem to have mellowed a bit. I think it's because most of us who are having babies just now are in our mid to late 30's so they may have given up on us now ;)

A different issue I have found is that there was a woman at DP's work who took an interest in him and would ask to see photos of our DS and basically flirt with him while looking at his photos of DS on his phone (I know because he told me when things got out of hand with her). Anyway, she likes to paint and she ended up painting his portrait!!! (Stalker much!!!) and gave it to him as a present. He says he thought by talking about having a "Mrs" (me) and a DS she might get the message that he is with me - I told him he shouldn't have left any room for misunderstanding but anyway... He asked her supervisor to try and remind her he was not interested and he has a family he is happy with. The supervisor seemed to be up to date with her romantic notions towards my DP and told him "She said you can't be that serious about ur OH ifyou haven't married her yet so she sees you as fair game"!!!!!!!!

Sorry - that was a bit of a ramble but I seem to be remembering all the horrible and annoying things that have happened in my relationship now I am PG with DC2 and I have moments of "WHAT AM I DOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGG!?!?!?!" so maybe that along with the earlier topic of being married has dredged that one up....

Phew - sorry! Didn't realise all that was in there! Oh, and the girl at his work left not long after that (she was a temp) so phew all round.

DP and I (Sorry - I think I keep calling him DH on here ) are actually engaged but have been engaged for years. We have never been able to afford to get married and haven't desperately wanted to. He would like to get married but the family politics and cost of a wedding have put us off. I know we could do the registry office but I'm not bothered enough at the moment. Sometimes I think we've left it too late to get married.

Anyway, sorry for the huge ramble!

Symptoms today have progressed to even bigger boobs and blue veins, heartburn (forgot about getting it early 1st time too) and that hangover feeling you are all talking about. I've also started making too much drool (yuk) and feeling sick but it's really mild just now. Not as tired either but I am sure that will suddenly hit me this afternoon again.

Morning all, the tiredness has hit me for six this weekend, not helped by the fact my Mum is in hospital for a hip replacement this week and when I went to see her yesterday the lifts weren't working and she was on the 7th floor.

I now totally accept that walking up seven flights of stairs was a very bed idea but as noone else knows I'm pregnant I had no excuse not to. I then worried that I had somehow harmed the baby and sobbed my heart out last night.

Buffyfairy I had exactly the same problem with my family, I come from a strict catholic family (although I haven't been to church since I was 18) and my Mum was horrified when DH & I (then DP) moved in together, she even lied to people, telling them we were 'just' flatmates, her favourite line was that without being married there was no 'commitment'. We did get married but in our own time and because we wanted to.
I think Arabella is right that it's a generational thing, but you have to live your life not them so do what's right for you.

I actually need to take my own advice as I'm quite nervous about telling my Mum about this baby because I know she's going to have plenty to say about my age, the age gap etc!!!

yup similar symptoms for me. Boobs aching and huge!!! Well, if they could possibly get any bigger than they are normally!!! Also, strange blue veins appearing too...

DP and i not married either, but thankfully not any family pressure to do so.

Wondering, had anyone else been to the doctors yet to let them know?

Not been to the GP yet sunface because he just basically took my blood pressure, worked out the due date and said to wait for a letter from the Midwife for booking in appt. I am in Scotland though and in our area it's a team of Midwives from the hospital who deal with all antenatal care and you don't usually hear from them until booking in appt at around 8 weeks I think. My 12 week scan with DS was actually at 14 weeks too.

Think I will phone GP later today to get an appt this week though just to get the ball rolling. I still seem to be in a state of disbelief over it all though since it has taken just over a year to get a BFP that has stuck for this long and I am just generally a bit scared. I am also worried because I know I will be offered the Swine Flu jab and I don't really want to have it but I am terrified about what might potentially happen if I don't...

Hi sunface I haven't been to the doctor's yet, might give them a ring later to see if I need to see anyone, with DS2 the Dr's did their own pregnancy test and I had to see the Doctor at 6 weeks but have changed Dr's since then so not sure if I'll have to do the same this time.

The age gap is worrying me too, I just keep thinking that 10 years is huge and I too worry that we have two healthy boys and maybe we are pushing our luck going for number 3. I just keep trying to think 'it'll be fine, it'll be ok'

thanks ladies. yeah i've just made an appointment to see the DR tomorrow and get the ball rolling - although, little negative me - can't help but think i'm tempting fate and that something will go wrong again... Tamashii i'm in scotland too and was going to tall my antenatal unit direct, but figure it'll be the usual referral from the doctors that will get things moving.

Yup snowpeas, the age gap is a huge issue for my DP for some reason, but i know lots of people with a 10 yr gap between youngest and oldest so i'm sure it can't cause too much difficulty?

Feel quite odd this morning, bit of lower back pain and a little constant pain in my tummy....

Hi I would like to join the October bus!

DH and I started TTC 'properly' only at the start of January. Thought it would takes ages as I have PCOS.

Was surprised last week to be feeling awful- exhausted, cramps, very bad back ache, weird taste in mouth, cramping, very sore boobs, feeling sick and worst of all crying at anything and everything!(The dead give away was crying at screensaver of a kitten)

So did a ridiculous amount of tests but all came out negative. But I was frustarted as I knew they were wrong. DH told me not to do anymore tests but I had an overwhelming urge to do one last Thursday morning and to my shock finally came out postive of 1-2 weeks. Did one more to confirm and made doctors appoitment.

Very happy but nervous about it all going wrong, the birth and coping with 2 dc's!

hi roseflower and congratulations!!!! i am expecting my third too, there are a few of us on this bus. How old are your other 2?

Hi Sunface thank you! Opps I meant coping with 2 dc's once the other one comes along (hopefully all happy & healthy). I only currently have 1 dc who is already 4 1/2 so there will be quite some age gap.

Just wondering how we will all cope with a new addition!

Hi sunface and roseflower. Mine is my third too. My other two are 6 and 8.
I was worried about the huge age gap until it dawned on me that I'll have two baby assistants!

heehee sorry roseflower, probably me reading it wrong! We'll have a 4.5 yr age gap between this bean and my DC2 and a 9 year age gap between baby and my eldest - which i#m a bit worried about...... My 2 get on really well with a 4.5 yr gap so i'm sure you'll be fine! if anything, it's a bit easier as your little one will be toilet trained already, out of a buggy etc etc...

snowpeas- I wouldn't worry about going up 7 flights of stairs. I live on the 6th floor and there is no lift so I'm going to be climbing 6 flights daily even when 9 months pregnant - at least I hope I'll be able to!!

Our friend lives on the 4th floor no lift and she managed it fine and still does with a gorgeous 3 month old DD

Saw the gynacologist today - she smiled at how enthusiastic I was! Going for blood tests tomorrow morning and.....I've just booked my first scan for March 21st!!!!

She said to book asap as places are limited.

I also have to book the hospital/clinic asap - ie. as soon as I've done my blood tests tomorrow. It's amazing how much in advance you have to book these things! (disclaimer so I don't worry anyone - I live in Paris, things are probably different in the UK!)

Congratulations Roseflower !!! Ahhhh I know what you mean about crying at everything - you made me laugh out loud at the "kitten screensaver" comment. Oh dear. It's such a giveaway isn't it :)

sunface My best friend recently had DC2 and her DS is 5. She loves it. He is just settled in school and he loves being the big brother. She says she likes the age gap since he can entertain himself more when she needs time with LO, he sleeps through the night so she doesn't have to worry about that and helps her by getting wipes/nappies and bringing them over if there's an unexpected messy situation. She's happy too that she doesn't have to worry about him still needing a buggy if they're out and about when she's got a pram to push. So, there seem to be plenty of pro's having that age gap.

FluffyDonkey I feel sorry for you having to book everything separately yourself over there in Paris. I guess you maybe get more in depth care??? I don't know but it actually makes me realise how I tend to take the NHS for granted sometimes. When we were in Australia and DS got sick, we had to find a GP who was under Medicare and then it still cost quite a bit to get him seen and then you pay extra on top of that for any treatment before you can claim it back on health insurance. No NHS 24 telephone line or anything like that.

Thanks fluffy you've made me feel much better, I know I'm just worrying myself silly but it's nice to have someone to give a little bit of reassurance.

I think worrying and motherhood goes hand in hand.