Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 4...

[SamanthaB123]

Our shiny new thread - all welcome!

Hairy so sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself and hope you have lots of support to help you through.

Thanks all x

Hairy - I saw your other thread - I'm so sorry, it's just so unfair. Big hugs to you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay, so I've run out of things to clean.

I've even polished the brass...

Hi all.HAIRY know where you re coming from? Wht is something that seems so simple ans easy for loads of women seemingly impossible to some of us?????Isnt being pg and giving birth the most "natural" things in the world but i can t achieve this????

Good and bad day, went to the gym,had counselling then saw 2 of my friends from work.They told me 1 of my other closest friends from work is 14 weeks pg.

She has kept it quiet was going to tell me when i had Georgie then hasn t been able to and asked my other friends to tell me.She did ring me last week but i didn t pick up.

Obviously , i m devastated....She already has 1 child, i can t even get 1.Shes a lovely friend really genuine now i ve just text her said congrats etc,,,,, but i would have to delete her from FB as can t bear to see her comments.She said she understands i can just about manage while i m off work but can t bear the thought of seeing her heavily pg , if i m not.Its not fair if Georgie was here i wouldn t have to be dealing with any of these problems i wouldn t loose Jess or Fiona, whos my other heavily pg friend who ive not spoken to since Georgie.

Its NOT FAIR.This hole is never ending.

Hope everyones ok ?? XX

unbuff bake and batch cook next?

Big hugs to Hairy and Louise, it is the hardest thing in the word to deal with especially when those around you fall. You will get there I promise. x

Thanks MAgic wish i had your confidence XX

You will louise, each day at a time, but I promise time does heal and eventually the downs days will become fewer and further between. I know Georgie was with you right until the end and I only got half way with my dd2 but I do understand your pain. 18 months ago I couldn't get out of bed some days. Counselling helped me immensely to cope and get back on track and realise that actually everything I was feeling was normal and a process I had to go through. I did lots of charity work for Tommy's and the hospital where dd2 was born and this helped too as it gave me a goal to work to. You WILL get there xx

Loops - will respond on the other thread tomorrow as it will be as complex a reply and the question!

Loops - have left a brief mesaage! Will check back tomorrow x

Hi Everyone,

Really sorry to hear Hairy's news, I'm thinking of you hon. It's important to take the time that you need to sort yourself out.

Buffy, I cleaned everything and then had to keep re-cleaning it to keep it clean. In the event by the very end I was so pissed off with cleaning that I gave up and promptly went into labour with a much less clean house. It's hideous now - nomtimevfor cleaning !

On phone so name checking tricky as always. alba How are thongs with you? Was it you who was breach? I have a friend whose baby turned as a result of acupunture. I can mail you the details if you need them as they were local to us. I did have Ruby at our favourite hospital. It was sort of a drive through delivery so I didn 't get much of the hospital experience. In at 3.30am and out at 10am. People have asked me what the hospital was like and the answer is that I didn't notice. Probably best that way...

Feed over, more next time...Sam x

Sorry about the thongs and various typos...

Hi all.Hope you re well

LOOPY thanks XX

MAGIC thanks XX

Feel MAD today , i know its all part of the grieving process but just feel the last 3 years of my life have been a waste of time.Its now coming up to 3 years since i stopped the pill and i ve got nowhere.I m no further foreward than was 3 years ago apart from 3 MCs and a stillborn .What a big waste of time and energy.

Tried to talk to DH last night about adoption but he wants to try again.I want to admit defeat with ttc and go straight for adoption and not waste any more time.Anyway hes gone to work in a huff.Sod him,its easy for him he physically and emotionally doesn t go through what i do.

Sorry for angst post!!!

Hope everyones better than i am today XXX

Morning gang x

Golly, the wind in Manchester was ferocious last night. I don't know how well you all know Manchester, but we have the Beetham Tower in the city centre (which is a hotel and apartments) and on the roof is a fibreglass fin thing. When the wind whistles around the fin, it creates a really low droning sound - almost like a vuvezela - and the bloody thing was loud enough to keep me awake for much of the night! (In the past, they've even had to suspend filming on Coronation Street because it's just so goddamn loud!)

Aside from that, all good here - counting down the days until next Friday's mw appointment when I'll hopefully get to hear the baby's hb.

Finally - at week 15 - I have put on some weight, albeit two or three pounds! It's funny - I was worried before that I hadnt gained any, and now I'm worrying that it's all going to pile on too quickly, so ladies who are at term, I'm (kind of!) feeling your pain!

Anyway, love to all. Especially to louise and hairy who continue to inspire me with your courage and strength x

Viv xxx

Louise if you're feeling angry, is there some way you can let it out? You could take up boxing... or go running, go to the gym, whatever helps. Not that being angry weren't ok, it's perfectly normal. Just don't want you to bag it all up inside of you.
Regarding adoption, I remember the two of us discussing adoption ages ago on the TTC thread. So sad that you're at that point again. :( One thing I'd say to consider is that adoption agencies usually don't accept applications from people who have recently experienced MC or stillbirth. I think they will require at least 6 months, if not a whole year, to pass before they will take you on their books. So, providing it feels right to you, you could always TTC now and keep the option for adopting open in your mind.
Hey, yes it has been a long time, but it's not true that you "have nothing to show for it". You're a mum, you were pregnant for nine months, you carried your baby girl to term and gave birth to her. Your baby died before you ever got to hug her, but still she is your baby and you will always be her mum. And you're doing a great job, in the hardest of times and circumstances.

One other thing: Nearly three months after my dear Ianto-baby was born, I finally got the courage to read up on Group B Strep (GBS), the infection that he was born with and that meant we had to stay in hospital for ten days. Was shocked to read that one in 10 babies who have GBS die of it. Seems we had a narrow escape, and I'm eternally grateful. But I also read that GBS can be a cause for MCs and at-term stillbirths. So was thinking about you and wondering if you have been tested for GBS? It's a long shot, but if it turned out to be the cause for little Georgie dying, it would be well worth knowing: There are things you can do about GBS to reduce the risks.
Meanwhile, sending a big hug and some cupcakes your way.

hugs to hairy as well. So sorry for you.

waves to everyone else - I read up on how you are all doing, but don't find much time to post!

Oh Louise I'm sending you huge hugs!!!! I know exactly how you feel, when we lost Oscar it had been 2&1/2 years since i came off the pill and felt exactly the same as you do now. Your emotions will be all over the place, anger, sadness, numbness,devastation... with me i had all of these in the space of a few minutes.
Things will get better, i know it seems a long way off but don't give up hope, it took me nearly 2 years to conceive Oscar and only 4 months for this one, so it can happen. You never know what the future holds (which we now know only too well).
Take care of you
x

I hope everyone is well, and feeling good!

I had my 20 week scan yesterday, baby is perfect, fine and healthy, and we're having a girl. They did find i have a low lying placenta completely covering cervix (i have wrote a new thread on this) but any advice would be much appreciated! I am clueless on this! At least i can't have cord prolapse which is how i lost my little boy last time as there's no way out for cord or baby at the mo! Just another thing for me to worry about!
x

Hello ladies,

I'm wondering if I can join you for some support over the next few weeks. And first of all I'd like to say how sorry I am for all of your losses. There really is no pain like it.

I mc'd naturally in June this year at 11 weeks. The baby had sadly died at 9 weeks, and we found out the news at 10+5 after scan at the EPU following a small amount of spotting. It was our first pregnancy and would have been 'due' on Christmas Day.

I was desperate to be pregnant again, I can only describe it as a physical need to feel the hormones in my body again. It had taken 9 months to conceive our first and I felt I couldn't cope if it took so long again (I know 9 months isn't long really, but we lose our rational minds when TTC I think).

So we started seriously trying again immediately and after three incredibly disappointing and painful AF's, and a couple of painful pregnancy announcements from friends, we found out we are pregnant again at the start of October. We were excited for the first few weeks, but that has now been replaced by either worry, or ambivalence on my part. Trying to protect myself from the pain of another loss, although I know that's not really possible!

I am now 9+6. By this time in my last pregnancy the baby had likely already passed. But I continued to feel pregnant right up until the day I mc'd. So I'm in a funny place right now and can't trust my body signs.

We have had a scan at 7+5 after the teeniest amount of spotting, and saw a little wriggling thing which appeared to be mainly just a little heart beating! Certainly didn't look like a baby, but apparently that's normal. The sonographer said the risk of mc had come down to 5%. Still too high for me to feel confident and relax! And I didn't enjoy the scan at all - after the horrible news we had received at my last one I could not relax even when she had told me everything was fine and I'd seen it for myself.

We've decided not to have another scan before the one at 12 weeks (30 November) because of how awful it was last time. So now I'm wondering how to get through the next 18 days to the scan.

How did you cope during your pregnancies after loss (es), coming up to the time you lost your babies? Any advice gratefully received.

(sorry for the long post)

Hairy so sorry to hear your news, look after yourself.

Osch lovely news congrats glad all is well XX Sorry no advice to give .

Thanks for your words of wisdom.

Yes , MEITA is is shit i m back at exactly the same place 3 years on!!! I understand what you re saying but i feel nothing like a mum, in fact i feel the same as before i was pg [which is not a mum!!].i M Sure i ve been swabbed for group b strep as i did ask about it but i will be checking when i see the consultant.Hope Ianto is well? Nice to hear from you.Yes group bstrp would be treated with AB i always treat pg women with it at work.

Hi VIV glad you re well XX

Thanks LOOPY i know Kubler-Ross well!!! Well,know of!!!! We studied the grieving process when i did my nurse training years ago!!! Good to know i m textbook!!! LOL thanks for the link XXX. Thanks i wish you could bring Georgie back also!!!!

Hi Crochetcircle XX

Thanks all very much for caring XXX