How long did it take you to conceive?

[Headbanger]

Title says it all really! I (and a fair few of my pals) am not one of those, 'Whoospy I fell on a willy and got pregnant by mistake, how embarrassing!' wimmin. When you have been waiting a few months, it does rather feel as if absolutely everyone else gets pregnant by looking at a naked picture of Tom Hardy - but I'm sure that can't be the case.

I've therefore been thinking: you know, perhaps it just does take a while - for evolutionary purposes perhaps, to prevent the planet being over-run. Perhaps it can take a year or so not because there's something wrong, but because them's the breaks.

So to inform and reassure, I'd be really interested to know how long it took you to conceive, your age when you did so, and whether there were any medical factors that you knew of (including, and speaking as a plump lass myself, weight!).

Thanks Headbanger. DS is brilliant but it's given me a whole new set of experiences, like finding I was old enough to be the GRANDMOTHER of the girl next to me in the maternity unit .

For my first 3 DCs I caught in the first month or two of trying but DC4 was a different story. It took 14 months - in fact we had given up trying!
Not sure why. I'm obviously older (38) but I weighed less and was much healthier in myself than when I conceived all of the other three....

I have had 6 pregnancies and 1 DD, 1st was a mistake, 2 and 3 took a while, not sure how long but big breaks because of m/cs, took me a while to get back on my feet, as it were. 4, 5 and 6 all took a month, at that point I was using an ovulation pee stick thing, acupuncture and I had jacked in my hateful job. 38 when I had DD, not overweight officially but at the top end of the right weight for my height.

I don't know which of those 3 things actually did the trick, I was definitely less stressed being unemployed! And the acupuncture I'd heard people say it helped, even if only as a placebo.

Good luck!

Noelle what you say is very wise and true. All my sisters (I've got faaaaasands of 'em ) kept saying, oooh you've got years yet don't you worry, our family never has any trouble etc. etc.. And I know why they said it, and that's lovely for them ... but in a year's time they might get a punch up the bracket for such comments .

DS1 18 months, barrage of tests, got pg a week after having an HSG age 31, found out on my birthday! During that 18 months 3 of my friends and a close work collegue all got pg and had their babies, its very hard to deal with.

(A HSG is a test to check your tubes and uterus aren't blocked but they do this but filling you with a special liquid and taking a x-ray so can result in clearing any minor blockages, thats what happened to me we think. My BF always says I needed a spring clean!!)

DC2 (curently 25 weeks) 1st month of trying, aged 33. Was amazed but DS1 obviously cleared me out good and proper!! Was prob around my thinnest when concived this one, BMI of 27.

Good luck

I think it's good to have a selection of conversational-subject changer openers ready.
Oh let's get back to that but did you SEE what X was wearing
eg

I'm one of those: 'Whoospy I fell on a willy and got pregnant by mistake, how embarrassing!' women

36, BMI 25

Ha, Paige: it must be your perfect BMI that did it! Congrats!

And congrats to you too Ceasar: I'd heard about HSG's resulting in insta-diff (to use a personal favourite term): here's concrete proof!

Noelle - sooo true! All of our friends (and some family) keep saying 'so, you've not thought about children then?' and 'when do you think you'll have children?'... grrr.

We've been trying for 8 months now (am 8st10, 5' 4", so not under or overweight) and it seems that everywhere I look I see a pregnant woman or someone with a new-looking baby

Headbanger, you say your cycle went to hell after you started ttc. Did you come off the pill?

Everyone is regular on the pill, I would say if after a year you have no luck, and your periods are still irregular, and you still find your weight an issue (is it easier for you to gain weight since coming off the pill? assuming you were on..) I think you should investigate PCOS and have a look at some of the general symptoms and see if you recognise them in yourself. Force a doctor if you have to. It goes widely undiagnosed.

DD1 - 16 months, result of 1st IVF. Was 26 when she was born with no obvious fertility issues (other than fluctuating jizz test results)

DC2 - 2 months, amazingly. Had reflexology and was still breast feeding so maybe made a difference?

Good luck!

I was diagnosed with PCOS, thought it would take ages so used an ovulation kit. Happened first time, I was a bit

Isnt the ave 2 yrs or something?

ds1... valentines night and the morning afer!
ds2...24 attempts.

DD- 14 months aged 29 BMI 25
DC(am pg due in Dec :) )- 2 months aged 31 BMI 26

Sanielle, I'd been off the pill for a couple of years before trying trying, as it were. The cycles going to hell included sudden attacks of bleeding mid-cycle, and periods lasting about 10 days. NICE! I have actually had a scan for PCOS in the past owing to rather painful ovulation, and am all clear, but you're right - it was certainly something that we needed to bear in mind.

Mustrun, I think the average is four months! . But they say don't worry until a year, and 95% of women conceive within 2.

Headbanger, you are very kind, I have had many years to stroke my opinions on this subject! and nurse old wounds!

I think the psychological element of fertility is the biggest mystery. So often women who've been unable to conceive do so naturally after adopting for example. Stress is clearly a very negative factor.

Also I think the moment you want a baby it becomes an obsession and then somehow the definition of oneself and womanhood. This is terrible because what does it say about women who can never have children? We are limited in how we see our role I think. I'm relieved obviously that I had my kids but I wonder sometimes how would I have been valued had I remained without them. And what does that say about us?
sorry I deserve a little slap for being pompous but I do think it!

Correction - six months. Less shocking!

Wowzers Fred, conceiving your second swiftly must've been a pleasant surprise!

Took me 4.5 years to fall with my first and just over 2 years to fall with this one.
I was underweight when trying for first BMI 17, and slightly better weight wise with trying for number 2 BMI 19.

Never had any tests so have no idea if it was medical or not, had appointment to see specialist with number one, but found I was pregnant the month before I was due to go. Had bloods done, and dh was about (on the day) to fill a tub, but found I was pregnant that morning.

Completely!! Did not expect it to be so quick! Glad that we did not start trying any earlier as DD will be 2 when DC is born and I don't think I could've coped with a smaller gap!!

DS 3 months, aged erm... 33?? (i think!)
DC2 first cycle, aged 35

... due any day... hence only 19-20 month age gap and feeling of terror! (expected it to take longer)

but i do realise i'm very lucky (sister had multiple MCs, including a MMC, certain friends have taken years)

BMI under 30 both times, but second time only just!!

good luck with ttc :)

sorry.. that "good luck" sounded a bit smug/twee!!
didn't mean it like that!

just.... hope it all goes well.
i know (via close friend) just how long 'the wait' can feel... and i hope your cycles and pain and stuff sort themselves out :)

Over two years - conceived a month before fertility treatment started. I think perhaps we are just one of those couples who take a long time thus avergaing out the first monthers to make the average time for most couples a year.

I'm 33, with BMI of 25-26ish. Took about 5 years to conceive as I had a six month cycle due to PCOS.

Currently 33 weeks pg with DC1. All very happy here. I managed to conveive after I gave up trying (and accepted a wonderful job with lots of overseas travel involved), so it just goes to show...

Good luck TTC!

It's all right Pic, you didn't blow any babydust at me ! Thanks ever so, and congrats on your pregnancies...and good luck with a houseful!!

Yellow that must've been an amazing surprise, many congratulations to you too...you're right, someone has to average out those instadiffers.

Six month cycle Jenko ? That must've been really hard on you. Congrats on that and your new job..I do sometimes wonder whether having a job where I work with the most drainingly negative witch on God's green earth (I'll save that for another thread, although trust me, you won't believe half the stuff I have to say...) whilst trying to finish a full time PhD isn't the BEST time to TTC...

Noelle I completely agree. DH and I have been so very fortunate, and I'm very aware that not everyone will be. I would never raise the subject of ttc/kids with anyone now, if they do then that's another thing.

I also die a little inside when I hear people saying 'oh we're going to wait another x years until we've been on xyz holiday' or whatever. Some very dear friends did this, despite there being problems with repeated miscarriage in her family, and they took about 9 months to conceive and then she lost the baby at 18 weeks. :( I find myself internally telling people to get a move on if it's what they really want (but obviously would never say anything out loud!)