Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

I seemed to have 2 tummies up til' a few weeks ago- my usual flabby one around my belly button and one slight bulge just above it! Now both seemed to have joined together! I'm hiding the bump with lots of baggy jumpers.
Off to the midwife today for my blood test results from 2 weeks ago. She said then that they don't normally do anything at this appt. like test urine etc but I'm thinking of asking her to listen to the h/b. Just think it would be nice to hear it again.

MORNING ALL
Hows everyone doing? im much brighter today, i think im verging on depressed somedays, this pregnancy is gonna be so hard.
anyways, i haven't got a bump yet, i thought i had but it dissapeared after i went for a no 2

10 weeks tommorrow for me and the big 12 weeks for diddle isn't it?

hi all
Sorry I've not been around. Still no home pc.
Glad all is well cori and diddle and everyone else.
17wks today midwife called this morning to say that my iron level is fine and when I told her how I am itchy she insisted I go for a liver function test, so hoping that will be OK, I think I was tested for that in one of the other pgs as I always get such dry skin.
I am expecting chicken pox to arrive at my house this weekend none of my 3 have had it and they all played with my nephew for 3 days that he was infectious so the chance is one of them will have caught it and the 16 days incubation is up on sunday, so hopefully I will still be able to go on Saturday.
Anyway must get off of sisters computer xxxxxx

yeh slink 12 wks tomorrow, can't believe it, feels like such a milestone. unbelieveable, glad you're feeling more positive today, keep smiling then baby will be happy too.

Xena - so good to hear all is well with you, had been wondering what had happened to you. xxx

Hi all, The scan went well - sort of. I took my 5 year old daughter and my mother along with me. I made the mistake of telling the midwife that I'd had a private nuchal scan and she promptly told me that in that case I couldn't have the dating scan - bloody cheek! Just because I paid for a seperate scan I loose one on the nhs! Anyway I persuaded her and so had my scan and my booking in appointment. I shall see them again at 21 weeks for my anomoly scan and then I will finally get to meet my "local" midwife at 24 weeks. Talk about on your own with this. Oh well. The scan was gorgeous and my oldest daughter was completely bowled over. The sonographer was increadibly kind and gave dd1 her own picture and a little card to put it so she could take it into school to show them.

that was lucky you got the scan wills, can't belive they almost said no to you. so you don't see anyone until late on in pg either. Its a joke isn't it! my last pg i only had 2 appointments one at 14 and one at 22 weeks i went all that time with no other care, and thats normal! can't help being angry and thinking that if i had more care last pg someone would have noticed my infection and early labour before it was obvious.
i am changing drs this week and i am going to ring the hospital in a weeks time and hassle them for better care and if i still get none i will complain to the director of midwifes at the hospital, and if i start feeling poorly before i am booked in i will camp out at a&e, i am determined to make a right fuss this time. infact i might ring the hospital tommrrow and ask them a few things as i don't even know whether i can have sex?

Slink- there needs to be consistent care throughout the country but half the time the Drs themselves can't decide what care to give. We live in Leicestershire and when I was expecting DD1 7 years ago, it was monthly midwife appts and I thought that was OK. Now you see the midwife at 8-9wks for booking in, then at 15wks, 28,31,34,36,38 and 40wks. There's such a gap in the early wks. And if you've had a mc, even if it's just one, the attitude is almost like you've not had enough mcs to qualify for any extra appts. It doesn't matter that you just want a little extra care because it would be reassuring.

For me personally, I usually end up with low iron levels around 23-24wks but I'm not due to have the blood test for that 'til 28wks. So I know I'll end up having to go to the Drs (probably as an emergency appt) to ask for a prescription for iron tablets. And then these Drs complain when we take matters into our own hands and organise private scans and end up buying these Doppler devices! Is it any wonder when we hardly see a midwife!

Sorry, Petunias rant over for the day!

good plan slink - you sound very positive today, you sort them out.

wills - so glad you convinced them to give you the scan. my sonographer was the same when i went, rushed through and told me nothing. useless.

sorry to crash ladies
Xena - the liver test they will do is for something called obstetric choleastoasis they will test your bile salts. I had this in both pg my first i thought it was normal itching, then it got so bad they done these bloods at thirty weeks where i was diagnosed. On my 2nd pg i started to itch around 16 wks they done my bloods which came back normal. When i hit 24 wks it got worse so i asked them to test again and my levels were 5 times what they are supposed to be so my advice is even if the bloods come back normal but your still itching ask for them to be repeated. Im not saying any of this to panic you but just wanted to say stick by your guns

so glad everything went well wills. thats very sweet about your dd x E

carly - im itching, usually in bed at night, i am certainly more itchy that normal. should i have a blood test to test for this liver thingy?

i had 2 babies in leicester and i had appointments every 4 weeks which was great, london however they don't seem to care until you are over 24 weeks.

don't think i will see my midwife until 24 wks either, which sounds ages away, and it probably is, daren't work it out. Useless really, i know they'd be there if i needed them, but can't undestand why we are such a waste of their time before. very strange.

slink - the itching i had was unbearable although it does vary from person to person i dont think it could do any harm mentioning it to your m/w or gp. It is said to start or be more prominent on the palms of your hands and soles of your feet, but with me it was all over. I remember scratching with a brush to try to make it stop if there are any other questions you have please feel free to cat me and i will answer as much as i can

DIDDLE in my last pregnancy i asked my midwife why they didnt care for me before 24 weeks and she told me- quite bluntly i thought "your baby isnt viable up until that stage and there is nothing we could do" i was glad that it unlikely you will have the same midwife twice where i live as i wouldnt want someone that harsh caring for me and my baby ( i only ever saw her once after that and that was when my baby was born and she did a home visit)

carly - how horrible, i woudl ahve hated that being said to me too. stupid woman

its sadly so true though, i was in hospital in labour at 23 weeks trying my best to hold on until baby was 24 weeks as then they would give me meds to stop labour and steroids to develope lungs. They wouldn't even monitor the heartbeat at 23 weeks.

slink i am so sorry. Was the a reason they didnt help? please tell me to mind my own if you dont want to talk about it

they said that it was hospital policy to not resusitate babies born before 24 weeks, even though i quoted all the internet statistics etc of 17% chance of survival before 24 weeks, they said baby could have been severly mental or cerebal palsy. I begged every consultant to try, but looks like 24 weeks is the magic number.
i will be having a huge party and a drink of wine if i get to 24 weeks this pg so 14 weeks and counting ;)

i am with my last pg i thought my waters broke at 21+4 (turned out to be very slack pelvic muscles ) and i remember the consultant saying that they would do everything in their power to get me to 23 wks cos there was a small chance of something being done. As i said it turned out ok but i cant believe they wouldnt even try i know its hard and i dont know what youre going through but stay positive you will get there

im doing ok, good and bad days, its been almost 6 months now but doesn't feel that far away.
still it's really nice to have life in my belly again i am going to go and listen to the hb again, it sounds like a chuff chuff chuff train. baby doesn't seem to stay still enough to count how fast it is.

slink so nice listening to their hb isnt it? The hospital gave me a fetal monitor as i had to send them a trace every day in the later stages of both pg and sometimes i would just sit there for an hour listening to it

I've been to the midwife for my test results. Downs Risk was 1 in 860 and AFP is 19, so I'm classed as "low risk." I persuaded the midwife to have a listen to the h/b so it was nice to hear it again. They weren't going to see me again 'til 28wks but I mentioned about how lousy I feel when my iron levels fall (usually around 23 wks) and they're going to see me at 24wks and do a blood test instead of the usual 28wks.

So after my rant this morning about lack of care, feeling a bit now!

Petunia - firstly congrats on the results. Second don't feel . In all places i've always found that there are the "stick to the rules" jobsworth types but equally there will also be many that will bend over backwards to help. As i said before this morning I came across an officious midwife and a really wonderful sonographer.

I think the amount of care and attention I am recieving during this pregnancy is due to being on the very outskirts of London, I am sure if I was still going to Queen Charlottes they wouldnt have bothered so much. There is just less demand on the hospital I suppose. Also the midwife who organised my early booking in, and early scans had been through seven miscarriages herself.

I am also shocked the midwifes assertion that they didnt bother before 24 weeks because the baby isnt viable. May be there would be less antinatal/post natal depression if women were supported throughout there pregnancies. But I suppose there is a shortage of midwives isnt there? Probably a resource issue.

Morning all,
I've had a right couple of days. There's a sickness bug going round DD1s school at the moment and she went down with it on Thursday pm, then DD2 had it Friday pm, I had it all day yesterday and now DHs got it! Now I'm all worried about the baby but think it's OK because I thought I felt it moving last night. I'm just trying to take it easy at the moment.

Hope everyone else is OK.