Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

slink - I am so that you are beign treated like this!!!! this is totall unfair!!! you deserve more care than this. I know you were so worried about going and i know why as well. Stupid bloody doctor. Can you afford to have a private scan? and perhaps arrange a private consultation where you can see someone about having your cervix measured?? there must be somthing you can do.

and what a load of bulls**t about not being able to see anything until 15 wks. I would definitly demand more care, but i know how worried and upset you are.

slink - where do you live, shall i look for good priced scanning services in your area??

i suppose i only want a scan to reassure myself.
i just hope the hospital get the referal and maybe squeeze me in sooner than 15 weeks. i might pay for a private one but i have just dropped out of one of my modules at uni, as the work was getting a bit much, this means i am now considered part time which means my lovely loan i have been waiting for will now not come.

slink - coathanger says that hospitals are a load of rubbish and she is appalled at the way they're treating you too.

She wishes you all her love and best wishes.

slink - there is nothing wrong with wanting to be reassured, i had two early private scans just to reassure me that baby was there, and it is well worth going to. mine was £50, if you can get to the midlands, they are a fantastic company and have people travelling all over to see them, plus they may be cheaper than a lot of London scans.

private scan

say hi to stockinghanger

£50 is good, i was just looking and the birth company does scanning for £100
where is this midlands one? i have family in leicester so i could maybe pop down

its near solihull, birmingham way, very very good, worth the trip, even with petrol or train fair i would imagine it will be cheaper than £100. They do Saturdays too.

i was feeling sorry for myself, so got my doppler out its a cheapo one from ebay i bought it last pg but it was delivered too late to use.
i used it saturday just gone and heard alot of whooshes and my pulse and what i hoped was movement, i tryed it just now and found a heartbeat!!!!
baby is there!!!
it was in the middle higher than i thought, and was fast but regular, i am really pleased now i only got it out to hear some whooshes, i didn't expect a heartbeat until at least 12 weeks!

Sorry, I couldn't resist any longer! I didn't want ot post on here (jinxes and all that) but I just had to say I'm glad you heard the heartbeat, slinkie You did well to find it as I was always told the earliest a midwife can pick it up is 9 weeks so well done!! Has it put your mind at rest a little?

I really do wish you all the best Slinkie, and all of you ladies on here. Good luck, best wishes and lots of love xxxxx

Well that is ridiculous. Did you have any feedback from a consultant last time. If so I would call the hospital directly and asked to speak to them.
Dont accept this
Why should have such poor care, when I had a much earlier miscarriage and will have had nine scans, and seven appointments with the consultant by the time I reach 20 weeks.

Where abouts do you live exactly? Can you not be asked to sent to QC? it is probably quite close to you, and with your history they are likely to accept you.

I dont what he means about the baby being too small and it not making any difference. You want a viability scan dont you.? They can do that from 6 weeks.

Just a thought, is it possible to have an incompetent cervix after having had two children already.?

hi coathanger yes that has put my mind at rest, dopplers are great, have lost the heartbeat now though- i was messing around trying to record it and baby must have moved as theres just whooshing again. still i feel lucky to know that its a real baby.

cori i know i knew it would be like this, when i went into labour last time they did care until everything was too late- i am going to demand better care this time. dp says he is going to wait a couple of weeks and then ring the hospital directly and try and get seen earlier.
i had a termination years ago which could have caused cervical incompetence this was after i had my kids.

i think he meant by not making much of a difference as in a scan won't make much difference to any outcome-although it would make me feel a whole lot better.
i will call the hospital in a few weeks and hassle them.

definitly hassle them slink - and congrats on finding the heartbeat, quite fancy a doppler msyelf, might have to invest in one after xmas.

you should get one dids, mine cost about 35 quid , it works great, it doesn't have a display on it or anything though but for that price you can't moan;)

might have to do a search on ebay then, i bet theres loads. thanks slink, thats a good price.

slinksanta, so pleased you heard the heartbeat. That must be great. Don't let them fob u off at the hospital. It's disgracefull. Queen Charlottes is totally different. They have never given me any hassle at all. Mind u my GP is good. Your one needs a kick up the arse by the sounds of things.
Fight for what you want, no-one else will do it for you. Try and find out who looked after you last time you were in hospital and perhaps you could contact them.
Good luck.........

Hi slink, I'm 14+1 and haven't seen a midwife yet. I'm due for a scan on Thursday and will also finally be booked into the system then. All the care I've had so far has been in the EPU and basically from out of our pocket i.e. private. I agree that paying for a SCAN give more confidence than anything else. Cori I think your care is exceptional and wonderful. I'm stunned over you hearing a heartbeat. That's just amazing. I've been wondering loads about whether or not to get a doppler BUT am also worried that it will only increase my fears because I will worry when I can't find a heartbeat. So still in two minds.

Diddle - Hi, thanks for your words the other day.

Peepee - wonderful to see you're still lurking on this thread. have been following you on other threads.

Petunia - Hi ya.

Take care all

spub - have been told that the newer machines DON't need the fuller bladder - so fingers crossed honey.

Like the Xmas names, crap at such things and can't think of one for myself.

Cheers, Wills. Hi everybody!
The scan went well and there's a definite little blob with a heartbeat pumping away. Apparently I'm a week less pregnant than I thought based on my dates but I'm assured that's fine.
Still no guarantees as we all know but it's a good start. Booked in for a nuchal fold scan on Dec 19th. I know we're having to pay for it and that not everyone can afford to but it was really so much more civilised having the scan privately and made me feel much less anxious in the immediate run up knowing that I didn't have to sit in a room with 20 other petrified women, desperate to pee and wondering what the scan outcome would be.
Hope you're all well this cold and frosty morning (well, it is here!)

That's fantastic news. What date precisely did they confirm you to be? I too had a private scan for the nuchal fold as they simply aren't done in my health authority. Its incredibly civilised. Just wish the NHS could afford to treat us in that way generally. I'm really really chuffed that little one was there etc.

Hey Wills, thanks again for the good wishes. My EDD to date (based on LMP of 30 Sept) was 7 July making me 7+4. Apparently the baby measures 6+4 so based on that my EDD is now 14 July! I'm not worried as I had exactly the same thing happen with dd (nearly 3 now)but I can't understand it! I know exactly when I ovulated as I was using an OPK and I know exactly when we bd'd as it was all planned with military precision!! Essentially this would mean I got pregnant a week later that was possible! Anyway, as I said , the same thing happened with dd and she was a whopping 8llbs 11.5 ounces......(ouch)

Wills, how did you find the nuchal test?
And I couldn't agree more - it's a terrible shame that the NHS can't offer this standard of care but they do do an amazing job by and large and I wouldn't even consider giving birth at a private hospital (even if I could afford it - which I most certainly can't!!)

I wouldn't give birth at a private hospital but.... I dream of being allowed to go home or having a private room afterwards as I find the first night of trying to breast feed with a new born horrendous.

The private scan was great the results of the nuchal were not so good but that's a whole other thread. In the end the blood results that they take at the same time saved the day.

I think when they measure size of the baby they are just comparing it to an average growth rate. At my scan last week when I was 15+6 baby was measuring 16+4. Like you said I know exactly when I got pregnant, it is all charted on fertilty friend. Some babys are bigger some are smaller than others.

Wills, I think the dopplers are not always reasurring. I got mine when I was around 10 weeks, I havent really been able to pick up a regular heartbeat until last week. Maybe its the babies position, dont know. If it wasnt for seeing it on a scan every week I might be a bit worried.

Wills, I'm glas it all worked out ok. The doctor that I saw last night said that the test I'd had before onthe NHS was about 60% accurate but the combined nuchal and bloods were more like 90% accurate. How many weeks are you, Wills?

Thanks, Cori. I know what you mean about the baby's size thing but they've also moved my EDD back a week! Still, means I might be able to sneak in trip one week later than I had thought thought to see family in California and take dd to Disneyland so I'm looking on the bright side!