Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread

[cori]

As some of you already know I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after having had a missed miscarriage at 17 weeks in April of this year.
I am very pleased and excited to be pregnant again but at the same time full of fear and anxiety.
Their seems to be a lot of women on mumsnet at the moment who have experienced a recent miscarriage and are pregnant again. We all have the same worries.
Hopefully we can use this thread to offer each other mutual support and help keep each other positive.

its oh so quite!

i am 7 weeks today whooo. i should really make a drs appointment but keep meaning too but can't face going there after everything last time. i think i will wait till my friend gets back from pakistan in a few weeks so she can come with me for support.
they don't do any appointments till after 12 weeks anyway in london, as london is a crap place to have babies.

thats naff slink - can't believe you have to wait till 12 wks, I think you shoudl book in soon, but i agree that waiting for your friend might be the best idea for you, you need the support, after the experince you have had.

congrats on reaching a healthy, 7 wks. I am 9 wks today i'm thrilled x x x

We all seem to have gained an extra week today- I'm 15 weeks today! I don't know about you both, but I keep thinking "that's another week gone, then another week gone." Keeps me sane that way.

yep fridays are the counting days.

maybe i will be brave and ring them today for appointment next week. i a total wuss, being scared of going to the drs! i think it just makes it too real, and as i don't really feel pg, i don't want to jinx anything.
last time i told a few people after my scan at 14 weeks, and i told everyone after my scan at 22 weeks. i had all the congrats etc and then most the neighbourhood were baby sitting for me whilst in hospital, they had only known for a week before i lost my baby.

Slinkstah- I felt the same way. I felt going to see the Dr or midwife made everything more "at risk" of going wrong. Such a stupid feeling to have really.

Slink, I'm 12 weeks tomorrow and still haven't officially told me doctors. One of them must know as the EPU has written to them and I went in to get a test for a bladder infection but I have not had my official booking in appointment and had not intended to do that until into my second trimester. Besides what blooming difference will it make? They're not interested in seeing pregnant women until they reach 6 months. The hospital will book me in at 15 weeks with a dating SCAN, I'll be lucky if I get an anomly scan before 23weeks without a fight and then at about 6 months I will be asked to make appointments to see my surgeries's midwife. I suspect the whole set up is under-resourced etc.

Aside from this dh and I have made a private appointment with the consultant who delivered dd2 for a nuchal scan on Monday. We'll be given a full 30 minutes for 120 pounds and I feel it will be worth every single penny! We're talking about getting him to do an anomly scan at 20 weeks but that will be more money so dh is not keen and at the moment the idea of getting to 20 weeks feels a very long way off iyswim .

yep petunia i'm doing just the same, then I enjoy the weekend and by monday i'ma lmost 1/2 way through another week, its great.

wills we're planning on having an anomaly scan at some point too, privately, think it will be nice to have a relaxed pace scan and we will get it on video too, so should be exciting, early days at the moment though, we've got a long way t go yet.

wills thats great you being 12 weeks, roll on 2nd trimester wanted to ask how you booked in with hospital without seeing your doctor. if its poss i might try and bypass my doctor and contact the hospital direct.

i have bought myself some protein and glucose pee checkers and i have a bp machine, so i can keep checking myself. i am thinking about buying a doppler too. i wish i could give myself cervical scans too but i guess im gonna have to get nhs to sort them for me, not that i reckon it would make any difference, as i had abnormally scan at 22 weeks last time and hospital say that my cervix was thick at this time but 3 days later it was 3cm dialated! i don't beleive the hospital really, but if they are right and a cervix can go from 5cm thick to 3cm dialated in less than 3 days then i don't stand much of a chance with fortnightly cervical scans!

my dp says what happened last time was a freak of nature thing and not likely to happen again, but i have read on the internet and there is a large chance it will.

Slikstah, I think 2nd trimester miscarriages and still births are quite rare. Apparently after 12 weeks only 2% of pregnancies miscarry and most of those are attributed to incompetent cervix, or that sticky blood condtion.
I think if they cant find a reason for the M/C then it is probably unlikely to happen again in the 2nd trimester.
So if you make it that far you are probably doing alright. ( thats what I am telling myself)

Diddle, 9 weeks. Congrats, that is a big hurdle for you isnt it?

Hi to all,
Glad you are all hanging in there!
Diddle - 9 weeks is a significant milestone for you so I'm really pleased that all is going well.
Had my pg confirmed by GP yesterday - am 5 weeks.
Both of my bleeds (one of which was a m/c) took place around the 6 week mark so I'm anxiously marking off days, too. Such a shame we can't relax and enjoy!
16 days til my scan at the Nuffield. My GP reckons the local EPU would give me an early scan and obviously if I bleed then I'll head straight there but o/wise I'd prefer not to re-visit the place....

Slink, I'm just not sure what to advise but I do think Cori's making a valid point. After the miscarriage last time did you contact Sands? Can they help? I had two m/cs and dd2 with the same hospital. The EPU doubles up in the afternoon as the late pregnancy problems unit and I was in there with soaring blood pressure with dd2 every day for the two weeks before she was born. I got to know the head of the EPU very well and her boss (my consultant) and that's how I've bypassed. What are your EPU like? Mine doesn't have a lot of time for GPs and pretty much take over. If you're worried go along there and see what they're like. They may realise quickly how stupid/ignorant your GP is. I know this is tough but don't forget that you are allowed a second opinion. Demand an experts opinion over the pregnancy. Good luck honey.

How is everyone? I am doing OK, I seem to be having less doubful days, adnd feeling more positive.
Pregnancy indegestion has set in, I had it really badly with DS, everything I ate or drank gave me heartburn. I have jsut bought my first bottle of Gaviscon. I have a feeling there will be many more.

2 days til my next scan, quite an important one for me as I will 15 weeks.....

Unfortunately I had some bad news today. I had my nuchal scan but the results (minus bloods) have come out as 1: 155 and therefore the consultant wants me to have a amnio. I desperately don't want to do this. I can't bear the idea of miscarrying because of a blasted test but neither do I want to think through the consequences of a down syndrome baby and my family. Going to go and hide.

Wills
I have no idea what to tell you or how to offer any help except to say that I'm thinking of you. I suppose at the end of the day you have to weigh up all of the pros, cons and risks and do what you have to in a very stressful and scary situation.
Big hugs

wills - this is a toughy, My mom was telling me about one of her students, who is 35 (i think) and had the cvs testing, and was told she had a 1:4000 chance, then when she had her bloods done they accidentally tested for downs and told her she had a 1:155 chance, she was shocked and gutted, then they offered her an amnio to triple check, and all is fine, no risk of downs at all. So it is very possibel for the tests to be wrong, she was shocked at the differences between tests.
I think you need to decide what you will do if the baby is downs, woudl you keep it? if you think youw oud, then i personally don't think its worth risking the amnio. I hope you're managing to sort through your thoughts, this must be such a tough time for you.

Wills, I had the same blood test result with DS 1 in 150. I questioned the results as specifically requested not to have the test. So I had it repeated whilst in Australia,I couldnt bear the thought of an amnio, the results were 1:2000 vastly different.

1:150 is not that high really and the chances of miscarriage with an amnio is 1:100. A big decision.
I know what my choice would be.

wills - any news from you yet? how are you feeling?

What a horrendus day yesterday was. My bloodtests came in last night. I had been told that there was only a 1% chance that they would change anything. Well they did! I went from 1in 155 to 1 in 1104. I'm absolutely over the moon but then had a panic that all the stress I'd gone through might have hurt the baby. I'm now very slowly starting to believe in this pregnancy, but am still nervous. Phew.

Oh wills thats fab news, i saw your other thread, are you still going to your appointment tomorrow? I have read somewhere that a little stress will not be bad for the baby, it will help prepare them for the trauma of birth, so don't worry your little bundle of joy will be fine. Thinking of you xxx

Wills soooo Happy for you
What a fecking rollercoaster this pregnancy malarkey is, eh?

sure is, how you doing spub?

Oh what a wonderful statement. Next time my dm says that to me then I'll just respond with that!

I'm not a naturally placid person

congrats wills you must be so relieved, i have just read what you have been through in the last few days.
now you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy

how is everyone else, i am 7.5 weeks and still can't beleive im pg as my symtoms are so rubbish- my boobs haven't even grown!

they will slink - you make the most of feeling ok, it could hit at anytime, unless you're one of the lucky few who get by with no sickness, you lucky madam!

Any symptoms at all slink? or just normal boobs.

9wks 5 days