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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

how long did it take for your dc to do poos in the potty?

36 replies

HeadFairy · 21/04/2010 21:49

ds is brilliant with pees, he takes himself to the potty when we're at home and he's not wearing anything, remembers when he's wearing pants and trousers and we're out, but he steadfastly refuses to poo in the potty or the loo. He did it the first two days we were potty training, but now he refuses. He holds on for days until he's really uncomfortable and then he'll do it if he's wearing a pull up. I know he will eventually get it, but when did your dc get it. Poor ds is so constipated from holding on!

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mummytowillow · 21/04/2010 22:01

Sorry to hijack, but I'm watching this post with anticipation....!

My daughter is the same, dry day and night but point blank refuses to poo in potty or toilet? Spoke to Health Visitor and she said I'm not to let her poo in her knickers as she will find this humiliating, but put a nappy on her and she will 'click' eventually?? I'd have thought this would be going backwards??

So I too would appreciate any tips?

Fleecy · 21/04/2010 22:06

Hmm, I'm sorry but my DD took a couple of months. One day she said she didn't want to wear nappies any more, was dry three days later but just would not poo.

She held it until we put a nappy on her at night then did her poo into that without fail. We kept putting her on the loo before bed and bribing her with stickers but to no avail. One day, she just did it.

I searched on here for threads about it and tried everything but nothing worked. Until she decided to start doing it. They'll get there eventually - not helpful I know but supposed to be reassuring!

Original poster
HeadFairy · 21/04/2010 22:08

Thanks fleecy, I'm sure he will get it, as my sister said to me the other day, you don't see any 18 year olds who aren't potty trained I'm just looking forward to the day when I only have to buy one size of nappy!

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Northernlurker · 21/04/2010 22:12

dd took a couple of weeks aged 2.7/8 but I have known other children take much, much longer. I actually think the best thing to do is just ignore it and put the child in a pull up or nappy regularly (maybe an hour before bed?) so that they don't exert themselves holding it all in and get real poo issues through constipation/anal fissures/pain etc. Everybody eventually decides pooing in potty or loo is better than the squichy sensation of doing it in a nappy. He will get it in time.

AmeliaJaneAgain · 21/04/2010 22:25

10 days for ds, we tried bribery and all sorts but he kept holding it and eventually doing it in his pants.

I kept saying 'mummy and daddy would like you to do your poos on the potty', and offering all sorts of treats if he did - nothing! The turning point was one evening when he needed a poo when running around naked before his bath, I saw him look around in slight panic and decide the potty was the only option.

We might as well have held a parade for the whooping, cheering, and eating of cake etc, he's been fine ever since.

Not sure if this is helpful at all, what do you think he would do if he really needed to go but had nothing on?

Original poster
HeadFairy · 21/04/2010 22:49

Thanks NL... I will take your advice about putting a nappy/pull up on ds, he's been getting quite distressed about the whole pooing issue and I'm sure he's really uncomfortable.

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Original poster
HeadFairy · 21/04/2010 22:51

ameliajane, we've already had that very problem arise, he was running around at the weekend with poo hanging out of his bum. He really would prefer that to sitting on the potty to do it right now!

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squeaver · 21/04/2010 22:51

Six months. I'm not kidding. Six months of pooing in her pants every single day. God it was tedious.

We used bribery in the end. Worked in about 10 days.

Original poster
HeadFairy · 21/04/2010 22:56

Oh don't say that squeaver! I've resorted to bribery already. I've told him he can go to the toy shop and pick out the biggest lorry in the shop if he does a poo in the potty!

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TheNextMrsDepp · 21/04/2010 22:59

My ds was exactly the same, insisted on having a nappy put on, then went into a quiet corner for his poo. This went on for a few weeks. We didn't force the issue at all, just made sure there was a potty prominently positioned in every room, and in the end it was good old peer pressure that sorted him out. We went out for a day trip with my antenatal class and after a day watching his mates on and off their pottys getting loads of praise while he was lying on his nappy mat being cleaned up he couldn't wait to get home, dig out the potty and fill it up!

Just let them do it in their own time, never force them because "so-and-so's ds was potty trained at 6 months". My friend pushed her dd too much and ended up with a very constipated and unhappy child who developed a toilet phobia which lasted for months. I know it's frustrating, you just want to get them out of nappies, but it will happen when they're ready.

TheNextMrsDepp · 21/04/2010 23:01

Btw ds was nearly three by the time he got there. Girls tend to be quicker, in my experience.

squeaver · 22/04/2010 16:25

What worked was denial followed by reward. So, NO choc buttons, biscuits, anything that would be considered a treat - at ALL. Then, one day, the light goes on and they just get it.

ShowOfHands · 22/04/2010 16:30

My dd was back to front. She got poos very early. From about 17 months she only pooed in the potty. She didn't like being dirty. Wees took much longer.

MIL always tells me that BIL (a strapping 26yr old who hates this conversation btw) took 7 months of pooing in his pants ever day. He was neither humiliated nor remotely bothered. One day he just stopped. I have a lot of respect for MIL.

MegBusset · 22/04/2010 20:34

7 months??

We're on week three of training DS1 (3.2) and still getting poo in pants at least every other day. (The rest of the time he either holds it in or, if I'm lucky, does it on the potty at bathtime when he's naked). He's been dry since day one but simply won't say when he needs to poo and gets quite anxious about it. I'm really not keen to put him back in nappies so really hoping he gets the hang of it soon!

RGPargy · 22/04/2010 21:41

I started to potty train DD on Saturday and on Tuesday she did her first poo in the potty, so that's 4 days! She has been fine about doing poos in the potty and even does wees in the big toilet with a trainer seat, although we did have an accident today and had to through away a pair of knickers! I think it's because she was tired tho and "forgot" she's a big girl now and just didn't make the potty in time..... I hope DD doesn't regress!

Good luck everyone!

RGPargy · 22/04/2010 21:42

sorry, that's meant to say "throw away a pair of knickers"......

Original poster
HeadFairy · 23/04/2010 19:29

yayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!! We have poopage! Today ds sat on the potty and said I'm doing a poo mummy. It was more like 20, poor love was a bit backed up, but he was a trooper! Let's hope it wasn't just a one off!

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Allegrogirl · 23/04/2010 20:05

We started training over Easter and DD aged 2.6 was accident free for wees within a week. However we have had 1 or 2 poos in knickers per day. I can't actually get her out of her beloved big girl pants to poo in a nappy sadly.

We had a breakthrough on Monday with first ever poo in potty for which she received some chocolate but no poo on potty action since. Today she used the toilet at my friends house but an hour so later had a big messy accident. I was mortified but my friend as a dc same age so was very understanding.

I assume she will get there eventually and until then will keep reading these threads to remind myself I am not alone.

MegBusset · 23/04/2010 21:54

We had a poo in the potty today!!!

DS1 also had a small wee accident at playschool this morning and came home in some very fetching yellow frilly Fifi & The Flowertots knickers... I can only assume some unfortunate girl has gone home in his Roary pants!

RGPargy · 23/04/2010 21:59

Well done on your poos today everyone!

DD has had an accident-free day today. Very proud of her, clever girl. It's only been 6 days so i am confident she has got the idea, more or less.

lol @ MegBusset!

Mummy2Eve · 25/04/2010 23:05

Hi all,
reading this thread with much interest. In exactly same situation as most of u. Started with DS (32 months) on Good Friday. Wee's he got the hang of straight away and we've only had a couple of wee accidents when friends have been to play etc, he tells me every time and has no problem sitting on his Thomas seat on the loo. BUT... he simply refuses to poo on the toilet or potty!!! Has started to tell me that he has a poo coming but then when we sit on the loo - nothing!! But half an hour later its in his pants!! I've tried everything, promises of choc, lolly pops (his fav), pooland book, copying his big sis/mum/dad etc etc....... least I'm not along up to my elbows in S**T!!!!
any further suggestions welcomed,
Cheers

FickleFairy · 26/04/2010 08:31

Mummy2Eve, I am exactly the same DS 3yrs has been pretty much dry for 5 weeks now (just odd accident if really engrossed in something) but will not poo in potty!

He will take himself off and hide and do it in pants and as we have had a few incidents of him holding it in I haven't made a huge fuss about him doing it in pants as I would rather that than him hold it.

He goes to nursery so the peer pressure thing hasn't worked and I have tried a whole host of treats displayed prominently in the kitchen but although he clearly wants them it just doesn't seem enough. Have also tried Pooland book but I think as he sees me tip poo out of his pants and into loo anyway that he thinks he is still sending it to Pooland.

I caught him mid flow on Sat and gently persuaded him that mummy would help him on the toilet and hold his hand and it would all be fine and he did come with me and we achieved a poo on the toilet but it was definitely more luck than judgment and although I thought it was a huge breakthrough as he was so proud of himself (my parents visited that evening and he couldn't wait to tell them and they made a huge fuss of him).

Then yesterday morning he poo'd in pants again and this morning he woke me to tell me he had poo'd and he'd actually removed his night time nappy and done it in his pyjama bottoms and it was everywhere!

I am at my wits end with it. He knows it's not right as you can tell he is embarrassed and I don't make a huge fuss, just usually ask him gently to try to do it in the potty or toilet next time.

I too, know he will get it, at some point, but seeing on here it has took some people months is soul destroying.

I could have cried yesterday when he did it in pants after Saturday's success, and I know I must sound like some kind of mentalist, but I just don't know what else I can do.

Mummy2Eve · 26/04/2010 20:54

FickleFairy,
I'm totally mentalist with you!!! Everything you explained is exactly where we are - even the treats - same as u they are not enough!!
It is very frustrating because I think it would only take a couple of 'hits' and he'd get the hang of it!!! I don't think I can cope for months - do u?

Well done on the poo down the toilet - it's more than we've managed? Is your DS ok at Nursery? Mine has been ok because he's held it all day (only goes 2 nursery 1 day a week), and poo'd his pants as soon as we get home!! Done that for the last 2 weeks! That makes me feel guilty because I think he's been uncomfortable all day!!

Does your DS want changing as soon as he's done it, or is he happy to play with a big poo in his pants? Mine will play quite happily!!! Just like when he had his nappy on.

Another thing I find weird is that he's totally dry at night!!? My DD got the hang of toilet training within a couple of weeks but it took over a year and 1/2 before she was dry at night!!!

Anyway enough of my poo ramblings!! I'm considering changing tact and pretending to be totally blase about it - not mention the poo or wee all day and see what happens. Half of me thinks he's enjoying the attention even the negative attention!! Anything's worth a try at this stage!!
Thanks for the message BTW
XX

FickleFairy · 27/04/2010 09:53

Mummy2Eve, it sounds so warped but is so nice to find someone in same situation!

At nursery he poo's in pants, only goes twice a week but I think there is plenty of opportunity for him to find a quiet spot and do it, they have been fine about it and said that it will just happen one day that he 'gets it' and will then always do it in toilet.

He has been brilliant with wee's, we do have the odd bad day which I find really frustrating as I know how good he can be, but I can deal with that. (Do get a bit anxious if we are going out for the day though or somewhere where I know it will be a bit difficult, we're going to the Zoo on Sunday for the day for example, and I am already having toilet related nightmares)!

He used to just carry on playing after poo'ing his pants but now he does come and say, really sheepishly, that he's poo'd.

He says to me quite often that he has to do wee's and poo's in the toilet and send them to poo land so I do think he wants to do it, on the way to nursery this morning I said, "Remember if you want a wee to go and do it in the toilet" and he replied, "Yes, mummy and poo poo's in the toilet too".

I have tried being blase and got no where and tried being firm (not shouting) and got nowhere, tried the treats and got nowhere! Yesterday, and I am totally ashamed to admit this before everyone starts beating me with a stick, when it happened for the 2nd time that day and he walked to the downstairs loo and told me what he had done, I fell to my knee's and pretend cried, he came over to me instantly to cuddle me (I am cringing as I type this!!!) and I just said to him, really calmly and quietly, that I so wanted him to be able to do poo's in the toilet like mummy and daddy and it made me sad that he couldn't and I really wanted to help him. I gave him big cuddles back and have since felt horrendous guilt, just wish someone had a magic cure!

I know everyone keeps saying he will get it, and my rational head knows he will, but I have read so much about children who are 5 and 6 and are still having poo issues that have become more and more deep rooted due to issues at DS's approx age and I am starting to get fanatical that he is going to be seeing some child psychologist about it!

Trikken · 27/04/2010 10:21

my ds will be four in may and is still having poo issues. He wont poo in toilet at all. Just in his pants. (he hides in a corner and does it when im busy, feeding the baby, cooking etc.) some days he will sit on the toilet, some days not at all. Have tried bribery, reward systems, reading books about poo related problems ('Poo goes to Pooland', 'Liam goes poo on the toilet', and 'It hurts when I poo!') He seems happier reading these books but it doesnt help him go at all. Every day he poos his pants. Have been to the dr but that didnt help. Just hoping he decides to do it on his own soon as he is going to school in Sept and am worried the other kids are going to be cruel if he is still doing it then.