7months later and still haven't cracked number 2's!!

[llynnnn]

we started potty training dd in january, she never has any wee accidents, but she still very rarely uses the potty/toilet for her poo's

he only way she will poo in the potty/toilet is if she has a totally nude bottom (no knickers or trousers). this is ok in the house as if I see the signs that she needs to go (she sits down and hides in the corner) i take them off her. everywhere else, or if i dont catch her in time she just uses the knickers like a nappy.

I can spend ALL day asking her if she needs to go and she always says no. we seem to have tried everything: ignoring the accidents, HUGE praise for doing it, sticker/choc rewards, special treats, getting cross with her etc etc but nothing seems to work.

Can anyone help me?? she will be 3 next week and is the only child in her nursery group that isnt potty trained, which the nursery staff kindly remind me off each week !!She totally understands what she should be doing and is very bright and articulate in every other area.

thanks in advance

This sounds like my DD it took till she was 4 before she was totally good at it and even now 4.5 she still likes to forget. As you said you've tried everything that I did and I don't think it was any one thing that worked.

One thing that worked was making the clean up off Poo etc take ages so it took her a long time before playing again and then when she did manage it tidy up quickly.

Speak to Nursery about whether they want her back in Nappies again or not. Mine were very understanding, for which I am very grateful.

Other than that I use to tell DD that all her friends could do it and they were all going to be able to go to Nursery together and that if she couldn't poo then they might not want her at Nursery. It's seem to just suddenly sink in.

A friend left her DD naked when she did it out somewhere and it was the last time the DD ever did it.

It'll sort it's self out eventually, it's just it seems like a long time when it's not going well.

thanks paranoid, good to hear my dd is not the only one! I try telling her that all her friends use the toilet and she says she will too only to 'forget' this half an hour later when she uses her knickers!

its so frustrating!!

I'm suffering with exactly the same problem - three wks into potty training and my 2 and a half year old is fabulous with wees but every poo without fail goes straight into his pants.

He can tell me the second he's done one but never before..... frustratingly he is happy to blatantly do them right in front of me with no signals, only the smell gives them away once they're out. I am on the verge of putting the nappies back on - if you find anything that works, I'd love to know.

Don't really want to start giving him horror stories in case it scars him for life but like you have tried all kinds of treats and praise and am still getting no where.

Help !!!

x

it is really frustrating isnt it, i feel for you! we were so calm and patient with dd about this for months and it had no effect so started to get a little cross and more harsh with her but it still made NO difference anyway!!

hope someone comes along with the solution soon.......(crosses fingers and prays!!)

I know, each day I hope he'll finally get it and then he doesn't - it's quite emotionally draining really isn't it. Most of my friends kids were all "clean" before they were "dry" so they've been no help. I was starting to worry that I was the only one with the problem. I really hope we get some suggestions......

I've also found that everyone else I've spoken to have had no real problems with this and no one can help! wondering if a doctor/health visitor may be able to help??

My DD1 3.2 and we have the same thing--wees are no problem, poos are an issue. She was doing fine but then she stopped for some reason. I don't normally do bribes but am at my wits end so have bought about 15 cheap toys and put them in a bucket, plus one big toy. Every time she does a poo on the potty she gets to choose a toy, when she's got them all she will have the big toy. Since yesterday evening she has produced 4 marble-sized poos and is currently sitting on the potty trying to do another one. Not sure how it will go, seems to have backfired a bit but she certainly has the motivation now!

Would love to know if anyone else has done this and if it's worked.

I was just about to post an exact same thread

DS1 is 3 and although we haven't officially started potty training (i.e. got rid of the nappies) we are doing it on an ad-hoc basis and nursery are helping.

He has pretty much grasped weeing on the potty and will almost always tell us if he needs one - but poos are a whole different matter!

He doesn't tell us he needs one until after he has done it - by which time it is too late (obviously) - and after 2 poos in his pants last weekend, he wanted his nappy back on and then asked me about an hour later if he had a nappy on (apparently so he could poo in it). Yesterday, he had done really well at nursery without nappies on but came home, and despite me asking him if he needed a wee or a poo constantly, led on the floor (allegedly reading a Thomasland leaflet) and pooed and weed in his pants where I couldn't see until he stood up He had been talking to me about poos always go in nappies which should have given me a clue as to what he was doing

He gets a choc button each time he wees in the potty and we have offered him a whole bag if he poos in it - he totally understands this but makes no difference.

I will watch this thread and see if someone comes along with a solution.

sorry to hear you are both having this same problem,

letsblow - i like that idea, please keep us posted if it continues to work, i'll give ANYTHING a try!!

ceebee - when i confiscate dd's knickers (when i know full well theres one on its way!) she begs me for them back so she can poo in them!!

llynn- after 6 (SIX!) teeny tiny poos in less than 24hrs I have stipulated that it needs to be a proper big poo. Cue many tears over not getting a toy for the last tiny one but she seems to be mulling it over.

It's just so frustrating when you KNOW they have control. Plus DD2 has been pooing all day long so I feel like I'm up to my elbows in the stuff.

Oh thank you , thank you, for this thread!!!
I feel I am going mad with exact same problem
and I cannot tell you how much of a comfort it is to read this thread.

Our dd is 3 and we are exactly in the same situation as all of you.
We are now 4 weeks into potty training, weeing is sorted but poos...grrrrrrr

I looked through MN last week for solutions but not much luck so far.

Will share if we find An Answer!
At least I am feeling a little calmer now.

Evenig - feel a bit of a fraud now

First day of proper potty training at home (rather than nursery) and DS1 has done 3 poos on the potty without any trouble (apart from the second one which he did start in his underpants but realised very quickly and did the rest in the potty). Problem is that cos we promised him a chocolate Freddo each time he did it he has had 3 of those today and several choc buttons for his wees - didn't think it was going to be quite so successful!

Anyway, changing the 'rules' tomorrow and going for a smartie for a wee and a (small) handful for a poo.

Of course it may take a backward step but am so pleased about today (although surprisingly he has bit very 'challenging' in all his other behaviour today ) - no idea what has clicked in his brain though so can't offer any advice.

Well done to your lo!
From what I have read so far, e.g. here, that's how it works - it suddenly clicks.
At some point, somehow

Last night I took dd to the shops and we bought two bags of Haribos which are now placed prominently in the bathroom.
That's the carrot.

As for the stick, we will continue to ask her to go to the bathroom.
She doesn't like being told to go but it's a case of: 'If you don't tell us then we need to tell you.'

We might also keep her without knickers while we are at home.
That's how we got her to do a poo on the potty last time (2 weeks ago)
but the obvious drawback is that this won't work when she's at nursery.

Let's see how the next 3 days go...

letsblow - how is it going? have you had anymore success??

ceebee - i'm really pleased your ds seems to have cracked it, but also very jealous! hope you're managing to wean him off the chocs now lol

daddyj - sorry you are in the same boat, its very frustrating isnt it!! i find no knickers at home does have some success, but unfortunatly cant do this while out!!

still no real success here, only at home occasionally with no knickers on, how can i get her to realise that it is not acceptable to poo in our knickers!! arrgghh!

Thanks for the encouragement, llynnnn.
(You from Wales? lol)

It's annoying that I'm back at work again because yesterday
was not bad at all and I am very curious how today goes.

Some of our ideas seemed to hit the spot, I am pleased to report!

Firstly, I dropped the 'stick' because upon reflection it became obvious to us
that she is not doing this on purpose or is being difficult. She is genuinely unhappy
when the poo ends up in her knickers.

So we stumbled upon something else:
Maybe she does not realise that you can hold in the poo and then release it at the right time?

Hence...I became her poo-buddy. Ever time I needed to go I would explain:
'OH! Daddy needs a poo! Stay inside, poo! WAIT until I am ready!' (while pointing at my stomach)
Then I would take her to the bathroom with me and say:
'Right, Daddy is ready - Poo, please come out now!' And I explained further that I am pushing
with my tummy to get it out.

Desperate times, creative measures
And afterwards I rewarded myself with a handful of Haribos while ignoring dw's raised eyebrow..

Well, it seemed to work! dd was fascinated by the whole thing, really took on board
the holding it in/pushing out with your tummy and, above all, she managed to do the first bit:
She asked several times to be taken for a poo and she held it in while in transit.
The 2nd bit, though, was more difficult - once on the potty she could not release the cargo.

But we felt she had done really well and in the afternoon we let her run around without knickers which led to a magnificent result in her potty that sparked tens of minutes of jubilation in our household.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for more good news - for you guys as well!

Glad to hear you are all having some success! We have unfortunately stalled a bit--had one poo in potty Sat night then one in pants yesterday afternoon. Much discussion about doing a poo in the potty today and getting a prize. Not sure where we will go from here!

I'm so jealous you're all having successes but thrilled that there is hopefully light at the end of the tunnel.

We went through three pairs of pooey pants yesterday and today at nursery he's managed to hold it in - no doubt saving it all to poo in his pants tomorrow morning for me!!!!

Loving DaddyJ's results, I've talked about pushing the poo out but not in quite so much details so think that'll be my job for tomorrow...... fingers, toes, everything crossed but it's definitely an awareness problem not a conscious one so there is hope. (we've got the choccie buttons and plastic cars at the ready)

This supportive thread is definitely keeping me sane though.

Just a quik update:
Both poos went in the wrong place yesterdy but, in fairness, she had alerted dw to the need and was on her way to the loo.

More practice required!
I think she is on the right track though.

Sorry to repeat myself but I am so pleased to have found this thread,
I am feeling a lot calmer and am sure that, at some point soon, it shall click!

Some little successes yesterday--1 poo started in pants but finished in potty. At bedtime, went to do last wee of the day, started pushing and managed actual full poo! I was more impressed with the pushing than anything, as others have said, it seems that she doesn't quite get the hold it, sit on potty, push it out sequence. So I felt that was a step forward.

Anyone else? It is so nice to know we are not alone!

letsblow - u think thats dd's problem sometimes, she doesnt understand how to hold it until she gets to the potty

i rang the hv yesterday who suggested putting a nappy inside the potty for her to use if she is insistant on doing them in pants etc?? havent tried it yet but will report back!

she also said to ignore it as much as possible and not make an issue out of it, (which i think we are very guilty of!) so for the rest of yesterday and today we havent mentioned it at all. still no success but i feel calmer and dd is a bit happier!!

We've had our first poo in the potty - he was naked playing in the kitchen yesterday morning and announced that he wanted to do a poo (think the nakedness definitely helped) and after a little pushing managed to do it - a proper poo. Very loud celebrations followed and he seemed very pleased with himnself. Sadly his poo at lunchtime (very wet) came straight out in his pants but I feel much happier that it is at least possible.

Although we've not had a repeat potty success, he's talking about trying and he's sat on his potty and tried to push something out a couple of times so hopefully he's getting a grip of what to do..... fingers crossed this new awareness is going to make a difference. I'm still attempting not to say anything negative when he has an accident but it's not easy is it.

I do find the whole thing weird (and frustrating) though that 4 wks in, we can now go a whole day with no wee accidents and then the next day, he'll have 3 before 10am...... does it finally just click?

Oh I'm so happy to find this thread - our son was successfully weeing in the potty at 22 months and refusing nappies at 27 months but... he's pooed in his pants the entire time and he's going to be three soon so we've had nearly a year of it.

We've tried everything - stamp charts, chocolate bribes, praise, bigger bribes, treats, telling him big boys poo in the loo, telling him all his friends poo in the loo, getting THEM to tell him...

It's not like he's frightened, he climbs up on the loo and sits down all by himself and has pooed in it a few times, happily holding on with one hand and playing airplanes with his other. He says he LIKES pooing in his pants... we're getting to the point where we're doubting he'll ever make the switch... has anyone else had success after such a long bout of failure??

help!!!!

Hope you don't mind another one on the bandwagon!

Blimey am I pleased to have found you guys! DS is 2 and half and we started potty training a couple of months ago. Wee, no probs at all. Took to it like a duck to water as it were but poo, NO WAY!

Every single one (and I mean EVERY) ends up in pants even though he knows when its coming (he usually goes into a corner with a book !?!) and then comes to tell me when the deed is done. Its doing my head in. We've tried all sorts of bribes but it just doesn't seem to have any influence.

Its so tempting to go back to nappies but I think that may confuse them even more. If anyone has answer then I'm desperate to hear!

similar story to earplugs and i must confess it's getting me down and i'm not managing the don't make a fuss about it because i'm so tired at the minute and cleaning poo out of the carpet, trouser legs and all over while a seemingly unconcerned ds just demands something 'wants to needs to' have is getting to me.

feel terrible and probably being counterproductive by making a fuss but i don't know what else to do. i talk loads about how pooing works, take him to the loo with me like daddy j does also explaining how look see it takes mummy a little while too and i have to sit here and try and wait and we go together like that sometimes. get him sitting and pushing sometimes. but??? can be sat on his potty doing all that and claim he can't go then 2 minutes later go behind the sofa and do it in his pants.

also - at home i don't use nappies now except at bedtime but i still feel obliged to send them nursery. he only goes for 2 days a week from ten to four thirty and i put him in one just before he goes and he'll already have had his morning poo and generally won't have another there so i only send two and they are complaining in a passive kind of way that that's not enough! i don't want him wearing any! he's supposedly being put on the potty and doing wees on it so how many nappies can they need? are they just being lazy? i want them to leave him out of nappies but am worried they won't take him, prompt him to use the potty enough and he'll end up with accidents because he's so busy and distracted there. should a child be perfectly trained before no nappies at nursery? this is my first child and i'd be grateful for advise on this.

i don't know how to proceed with this poo business. i just cleaned up the most horrendous mess this evening and couldn't help but get cross with him because he'd stood and done it right by the potty then walked it around and put his hands in it and it on other stuff whilst i was in the kitchen washing up. so it's not just he doesn't feel it coming he's blatantly carrying on and not minding it. he'll also just walk up to me and say mummy i poo'd in my pants. don't wanna be getting cross with my lovely ds and our relationship getting dragged down by this battlefield.

Ellagrace I totally and utterly know where you are coming from. Its so hard not to get when you know that they are aware they are doing it and then come and tell you after they've finished. I too think ds doesn't mind one little bit.

My sink (utility one I hasten to add, not kitchen!), is constantly full of sh*tty pants soaking away and its driving me round the bend.

The nursery I use actually were the ones who told me to stick to pants once you've started (apart from nightime)to avoid confusion. Think they might be regretting it now though as I usually have 3 bags of stinking, soaking wet clothing (where they have tried rinsing them out) waiting for me to take home. I think yours are ABU to be honest. Obviously its much easier for them to change a nappy and not be constantly clearing up after 'accidents' but then thats what they are there for (and being paid for).

If you want to send him in pants then I would. This potty training lark isn't a smooth path and all kids will have an accident at some point but its no reason to keep having to send him in wearing nappies.