Potty etiquette whilst out and about

[Pottyetiquette26]

We are currently 2 weeks into potty training my 2.5 y/o. What is the ‘potty etiquette’ when training out and about? Obviously ideally we would be close to a toilet even if using the carry potty. But what about when we’re out at places like the park and he can’t hold it for long? We are going to Centreparcs soon and i’m worried we’ll be on a walk and be in this situation. Probably overthinking it but don’t want to be judged for doing it wrong!

22 months but height wise closer to a 12-18 month old. Yes of course when he fits better on a toilet and is more stable sitting there he will of course use a toilet (and when he’s completely independent with the whole process like a 5 or 9 year old!). I was just making the point that a potty is a better size for him right now, allows him to be in a preferable position and is overall a more useful piece of equipment to carry at this current stage if I have to bring a piece of toileting equipment out with me. As is clear from this thread there is no right or wrong system, different set ups work for different children/families.

I’ve got that beat. Years ago my friend was hosting a few friends for lunch. Her DD was potty training and came up to her mum with the potty and said she needed to go - well done. Except she wanted the potty on the table and refused to use it on the floor. So my friend put the potty on the table amongst the lunch things, DD sat on it, did a poo, and went away happy.

What do you mean by if they haven't shown you they're ready yet or not? I don't think DC1 or DC2 showed any particular signs that they were ready but they both potty trained pretty quickly and easily at 2yrs 2 months and 2yrs 9 months. If id been waiting for them to show that they were ready I'm not sure how much longer I'd have been waiting, which seems a shame given that they were both completely able at those ages.

To be honest I agree with a lot of what you've said in your posts, nevertheless I would never let my child toilet in a waiting room. You said it was because you were worried about missing your appointment , and that could happen even if your child is say 5 and needs to pee, you would take them to the toilet, so I don't really see how it's ant different for a younger child in that situation and there must have been a toilet very close by.

That being said I wouldn't be utterly scandalised by witnessing it - the same way I wouldn't be if someone changed their nappy in the waiting room - but it's not something I would do.

I think you probably tend to have more time and advanced communication on your side with a 5 year old so I do think it’s a different situation generally compared with a toddler. I would arrive early and take a 5 year old to the toilet in advance of whatever activity is happening, which is exactly what I do now with a toddler too. However, in this circumstance he was asleep when we arrived early and unfortunately woke up before the appointment happened. As I was already late being called in and had a travel potty with me I took the risk of getting the potty out in the empty waiting area where nobody could see us to avoid disappearing before we were called. Not the choice everyone would make, that’s fine. Not my ideal situation either and I’d do things differently if I didn’t have a travel potty or had an older child. But it worked out fine and I don’t think anybody was negatively impacted. We were called to the appointment as I packed away the potty. Situations aren’t black & white, circumstances differ, approaches differ. Things don’t always go to plan. Ultimately I don’t think the OP should have to be worrying about other people’s judgement when toileting her small child in public, I just don’t think it needs to be that big a deal.

That is simply grim and such a reflection of slipping standards in hygiene and etiquette. Just take the few steps to the toilet (and let the receptionist know, en route, where you're headed).

You have got to be fucking kidding?!

I feel as though half the population has forgotten that practices evolved and have been followed (and later became etiquette) to prevent contamination / the spread of germs.

Utterly gross.

How did you and your child wash your hands immediately without touching anything else?

Never indoors except for inside the actual toilet cubicle. Outside where there’s no toilets nearby find somewhere discreet, in undergrowth basically, i managed without a potty, they really aren’t essential

The etiquette is quite simple if you keep in mind that no-one wants to see your kid sitting on a potty - so take them to the toilet or if you’re in the middle of nowhere, go behind a bush. Basically the same as you would do yourself!

I recently saw a kid sitting on a potty in the middle of a busy park full of runners passing right by them. Really not the done thing in my view!

If there was a reception, or anyone else around, I absolutely would have done that. Unfortunately it’s a ‘plonk yourself outside the clinician’s door and hope for the best’ situation. Sometimes circumstances aren’t ideal. I’m not sure anyone can be affected by a lack of etiquette in an empty area which looked the exact same when it was vacated. In terms of hygiene, no wee came in contact with anything other than the potty which was then sealed shut so I don’t think there was any contamination risk. I’m sure the health centre floor has plenty of germs on it from people’s shoes. As I said, we normally go to the toilet, it didn’t work out that way this time, nobody was inconvenienced.

What you did was vile

And she carried the full potty into the exam room with her 🤮🙂 if I’d been the clinician I’d have insisted that it was emptied before being brought in and both parents & child’s hands are cleaned.

My mouth is literally agape

We didn’t wash our hands immediately although there was hand sanitiser available which I used on arrival after touching the traffic light button and doors which I think are pretty germy. I’ve noticed not everyone does that.

I’m not sure what you’re imagining but I touched the outside of our clean potty which I disinfect at home between uses and my child’s clean trousers. My child didn’t touch anything other than his own legs. I opened the clean potty, pulled down the trousers, he sat on the potty, stood up, I pulled up his trousers, I closed the potty. I doubt we touched anything in the clinic room anyway. We went to the toilet after the appointment to use the toilet, empty the potty and washed our hands then after touching the public toilet doors and equipment. I would wash my hands after being in a public space anyway I don’t think they’re going to be particularly sterile, even without potty use.

I found a travel potty very useful but would always be as discrete as possible when having the children use it and would move to a quieter area. I don’t see them as meaning you can whip it out to be used wherever you are. I tripped over a child using one in the doorway of a cafe the other day!!!

I never used a travel potty, just go in a toilet or behind a tree if really not able to hold on.

@MonkeyTile if you ds needs to go every 30~60 mins that suggests he’s not ready for potty training, his bladder must still be tiny. Hes not even 2 yet just keep him in nappy’s until he can go 2-3 hours before he needs a wee.

Weeing in a waiting room is grim.

There are a lot fewer public toilets than there used to be - my kids are 14 and 11 and a lot of the loos we would use are gone now so I think it’s not always reasonable that a small child can hold it until you find a loo. Hence the growing popularity of the travel potty.

But generally speaking, I would treat it as an emergency option rather than the default.

And definitely make sure you go off the main walkways / into a quiet corner.

I had no idea until reading this thread potty use was so controversial. I always took the potty to the park and anywhere outdoors without nearby toilets. Now I don’t bother as they’re much more reliable / able to hold it until we can get home or to a cafe. We have the carry potty’s and unless I was somewhere like the woods I just used to clip them shut and empty them when we got home. I never used them inside as most places have toilets and I would be surprised to see a child using one in a library or cafe.

I never realised you could actually transport the wee in the potty 😳

Well given he’s completely independent with using the potty at home, knows when he needs to go and takes himself to the potty without prompting I’d argue he is very much ready. Seems like it would be cruel and undignified to force him to use nappies because if I couldn’t be bothered to support him to toilet when he needed to while out. I’m heavily pregnant, I often need to wee every 30-60 minutes, I don’t think that means I need to give up on the toilet and use nappies.

As the parent of an autistic child who will not use public toilets due to the noise/smell I have just grown thick skin. I am very discreet, would never go inside/ find somewhere quiet so generally people wouldn’t notice but while we always go before we leave home, sometimes the potty is used out and about otherwise we could never leave the house!

I used a travel potty plenty. Found it very useful well past the potty training stage.

Find it odd so many posters have never been in the same scenarios. Some recent ones - child needed a wee during long motorway journey, pulled in to large service station car park, big brother asleep in car so instead of waking him up/taking her to a probably filthy toilet, I just popped the travel potty down by the side of the car, she went and off we go.

other scenario - 20 min walk to a local park, picnic there and play in playground. No shops nearby. Large open space no trees. Child needs a wee after a couple of hours. Cut the short fun and head home or have the travel potty discreetly under the pram to pull out if needed?

I’ve also walked bloody miles in a national trust to find a tree/bush for my little one to wild wee in where nearby picnic-ers aren’t going to witness their stream of wee. Much easier to have a travel potty down by the side of the pram and me stood on the other side so no one can actually see anything.

Would recommend the ones that shut tight and you can leave the contents in to dispose of at home if you need to.

If I was a betting woman I'd put money on a correlation between early potty training and SAHMs looking for something to fill their days. Doubt your average working mother has the time or energy for this fuckery.