Potty etiquette whilst out and about

[Pottyetiquette26]

We are currently 2 weeks into potty training my 2.5 y/o. What is the ‘potty etiquette’ when training out and about? Obviously ideally we would be close to a toilet even if using the carry potty. But what about when we’re out at places like the park and he can’t hold it for long? We are going to Centreparcs soon and i’m worried we’ll be on a walk and be in this situation. Probably overthinking it but don’t want to be judged for doing it wrong!

Well I’m glad that worked for you but not every child is the same.

We are a couple of weeks into potty training and still taking our carry potty most places. We don’t use it indoors places lbut have taken it to cafe/pub toilets as currently he prefers it to the ‘big toilet’, as he calls it. We’ve just been on holiday in Dorset and did lots of walks/bike rides etc and it’s perfect to hide in a little corner somewhere. I know this is a phase so we won’t be using it forever but for now when we are out it’s so helpful.

To answer the original question of etiquette, I wouldn’t get it out inside unless in a toilet but for parks, walks, hidden next to the car and things like that, I think it’s fine!

Honestly imo if a child can’t hold it long enough to get to a toilet (or convenient tree if in the park) on a regular basis then they aren’t ready to toilet train.

when my kids were young I saw a lot of parents following their child around with a potty. Still had many accidents when the parent couldn’t get the potty under the child quick enough.

i trained later when they could hold it at least a few hours, wee before we left, visit the loo when we arrived, no potty at all. Both my child and the “earlier” children were reliably dry around the same time, I just had fewer accidents to clean up and the process didn’t take as long.

It is rather difficult with very little buns and big toilet seats.

DD is three and still doesn’t really like big toilers because her bum goes down them unless she clings onto the seat or I hold onto her and that’s difficult in a small toilet cubicle.

MN are a bit odd about potties generally. I do know some children who went straight to the toilet and that’s totally fine but honestly given the choice DD prefers potties although she will use a toilet.

You could get a folding kids toilet seat to keep in your bag. They avoid them feeling like they might fall in but take up no space vs a potty and don’t need emptying.

Little boys love a "bush wee"! So long as you're in amongst nature, it's fine.

We planned toilet training so that it fell during a couple of weeks we were never going to be miles from a toilet. If you're going to be away from a toilet, get the little one to have a go on the toilet before heading out / going on a long journey in the car.

It's one of those things that can cause worry but it's best to take a relaxed approach - if you're chilled, your little one will be, as well. Worst that'll happen is they'll wee / soil themselves so just pack some spare plastic and nappy bags, pants, clothes, socks and shoes, and lots of wipes. You can then clean them down, change them, bag up all the dirty stuff and carry on until you're home and can properly hose him down.

It won't be as bad as you're thinking it might. It might not be bad at all!

Ignore the advice to put a nappy on 🙄

I'm currently potty training DC3, very early days and hampered by illness too, also the youngest of my 3 so I'm expecting to need the carry potty more than I did with DC1 and a lot more than DC2 who was significantly older and camel-like in behaviour.

I agree with PP who say indoors is generally not ok unless it's a bathroom. Outdoors is fine, obviously I've always tried to be as discrete as possible e.g. Behind car / pram/ tree / bushes whatever but there have definitely been times with DC1 in particular that it was essentially a roadside wee and there wasn't anything I could have done to make it more private. I don't see any problem with that as dogs wee everywhere, it seems bizarre to me that some apparently find that more acceptable than a very young child who is learning a new socialisation skill. Also that some apparently find it more dignified to be changing nappies in front of other people (even in a toilet changing table, there are people about), than to support teaching a child the skill of toilet training which will generally enable them to have more privacy once they've mastered it better.

The people talking about poos - like the childminder upthread, well I only have my own 3 kids as anecdotes but it was never a problem with my older 2. They literally never pooped on the carry potty outdoors, ever. My youngest as I say it's very early days but they never pooped in their nappy anywhere but home, their DGPs house or nursery for many many months so I'm sure it won't be a problem for them either.

We have a carry potty that seals if you cant easily dispose of content. Some people have an easier time of potty training than others, all children are different and you do what you need to to get through this stage. We try to be discreet and if someone notices they tend to give you a smile as they remember that stage. Around here its a big issue with public toilets shutting. We found the carry potty was also useful for camping/ night time wees.

I toilet trained 5 wee girls, never took a potty out of the house.

Please, not in the aisle of a train like one person did with her son recently. And yes, it was a poo. Stinky

If you must do it outdoors, please do so discretely. I have no desire to be met with other people's children using a potty whether I'm indoors or outdoors.

Yep, I was at a country fair recently and someone set their child on the potty in the food area, next to the trestle table we were eating at 😡 Please don't do that.

I don't get the hatred of travel potties, it's fine you just have to be discreet then empty it into a toilet when you get the chance. Going on the toilet is ideal but it's easier for everyone if it goes into a potty instead of their pants.

My son is too small to use the toilet so I use the carry potty all the time. I actually have 3 of them! He’s only 22 months and <0.4th centile so just way too tiny and unstable on a toilet and it scares him. Even if I take him into a toilet cubicle he uses his potty and I dump it in the toilet. Also because of his size he needs to use the potty every 30-60 minutes so depending on where we are it’s not always worth continually traipsing to and from the toilet when I have the potty with me. I do prefer to take him to the toilet as he’s more likely to go there but I absolutely have sat him on the potty in other places indoors. I’ll be as discrete as I can, pick a quiet spot and shield him from people but sometimes needs must! I was recently waiting for a medical appointment in an empty waiting room and didn’t want to leave to take him to the toilet in case they called me and I missed the appointment so he used the carry potty in the waiting room and I dumped it after the appointment. I wouldn’t be too worried about other people, I don’t think anyone should be offended by a baby/toddler using their potty, people don’t seem to have any issue with kids using their nappies all around them for prolonged periods. I would argue using a potty is less gross. You can dump it in the toilet, dump it on grass/down a drain somewhere people aren’t likely to be walking/sitting or seal it into the carry potty and take it with you until you find a suitable disposal spot.

Allowing your child to use a potty in a waiting room that could be used by other people at any moment is disgusting and inconsiderate. You won’t miss appointments if you tell the staff where you are going, that is just an excuse to be lazy.

If you can carry a potty you can carry a toddler seat that fits on the toilet to make it small enough to be used. Saying your child is too small to use the toilet is just another excuse to consider no one except yourself.

What is the point of potty training him so young if he won't be able to use the toilet? How many years will be you carrying potties around for?

Personally, I feel if he is able to wee/poo outside his clothing (I’m classing a nappy as clothing, it’s a baby’s version of underwear in my opinion) then I think that’s the better option for my child. Personally, I’d rather relieve myself outside clothing or incontinence products even if I needed help or specialist equipment to do that. We did some aspects of elimination communication from birth so he’s been using a potty at home for over a year now and then out & about and at nursery for a couple of months. Also I’m having another baby soon and didn’t want to be dealing with two sets of nappies or potty training while I have another small baby. We also used cloth nappies and will with new baby so, again, I’d rather not be washing nappies or more nappies for longer than absolutely necessary. It’s just all based on what works best in our circumstances, I know those choices won’t be right for everyone and that’s ok! I don’t have a problem carrying the potty around, we usually have the buggy with us so it just goes in there and we’ll have the buggy for a good few years still due to new baby. Works for us!

Well I assessed the situation and was pretty confident nobody was going to appear in the 20 seconds it took for us to complete the potty process. I also hid him in a corner behind me and the buggy. There was nobody (no reception) to tell where we were going or I would have done just that. I have actually missed a GP appointment before due to having to take him to the toilet for an emergency nappy change and the chaos that ensued with the receptionists alerting DP that we couldn’t be found (for about 3 minutes) was quite a palaver followed by more waiting around until the GP was free again.

‘Disgusting’ is subjective based on how we’ve been socialised. Some people think breastfeeding in public is disgusting. Some people think menstruating women are disgusting. Some people think certain foods are disgusting. You might find the sight of a child discretely using a potty in a public space disgusting and that’s your opinion. Whether a child is weeing in a potty which is then sealed shut, or weeing in a nappy which is sealed to their body, I can’t really see much difference to the experience of anyone but the child. He’s not weeing on the floor or the chairs. I wouldn’t have my child poo anywhere the smell is likely to offend anyone and I don’t set the potty up near other people. I’ll assess each situation and make the choice that I think is most considerate to all involved, that usually means setting it up in a toilet cubicle or far away from others in an open outdoor space. Occasionally it might involve using the potty in an empty indoor space or far away from others in an indoor space. At one of his activities parents change nappies in the room where the activity is held, he uses the potty in the corner of the room where the activity is held so we don’t miss lots of the class going to the toilet down the hall. Sometimes he asks to take the potty to the toilet so we do that if it’s his preference.

In the same way I didn’t have my baby use a highchair without a footrest he could reach, I don’t put him in a position where he can’t plant his feet on a solid surface while toileting. I think that’s the best position for him. At home we’ll get a toilet seat reducer and foot rest to get him used to the toilet but for now, the potty works best outside the house as we do need it when there are no access to toilets.

Never used one. Kids would sit on the toilet before leaving the house and then while we were near toilet facilities when out and abou. A bush wee when out and about also ok. And mine took forever to train but honestly it never occurred to me to carry a potty around!

Can I also add that part of the etiquette is that your friends and work colleagues are really not interested in how many accidents or successes your child has.

Get into early habit of trying for a wee before going out, or we used to put the potty in the boot of the car for a wee before going to the park or shopping or whatever. If in the woods a wild wee or just somewhere discrete away from the main paths. But I’d also say it’s good to build confidence going into public toilets too (use the portable potty that converts to a loo seat).

Yes, I agree with this. I think a big part of the problem is that people try and potty train too early when children aren’t ready for it, and therefore it’s taking much too long. I have done many things wrong as a parent (!) but the one thing I think I did well was waiting until my child was absolutely ready before potty training. It really just took three days and after that no accidents and certainly no carrying a potty round.

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell with Mumsnet, but this is a joke, isn’t it? Does it need lightheaded adding as a disclaimer?! 😂

In the early days of potty training, many years ago, we had it more or less, sorted at home. In the beginning, when DS needed it the loo was close by at home, as the need was generally here and now.
We were out one day, visiting a cathedral, DS said he needed a poo, we asked, but there was no toilet. So we went into one of the tiny side rooms, and sat DS on the potty. I was mortified, but I always carried nappy bags and wet wipes so was able to clean the contents pdq.

I tried so many times with the potty, completely pointless. I advise you forget it completely and go straight to stool, smaller toilet seat and pull ups. You can hold them over the toilet when out and about. and don't even bother if they haven't shown they are ready yet, it's just a waste of time. I think mine were 3.5yrs when ready.

How old is he now because I don’t put him in a position where he can’t plant his feet on a solid surface while toileting is surely going to have to be something you let go of? My 5 year olds feet dangle. I’m not even convinced my 9 year old can fully put her feet flat on the floor whilst using the loo but I stopped following her into cubicles years ago.